“A fool and his money are soon parted”, so they say. Judging by the number of scam emails landing in my inbox every day, someone out there somewhere must be falling for these claims and sending money to a fictional lawyer who, with just a small sum from you, my dear friend, can unlock millions of dollars for you.
Of course, in reality, once you have handed over a small sum, you have opened yourself up to the scammer whose job is now to take as much money from you as possible! But I am too smart to be taken in by these scam emails and I know that they should be consigned to the trash. Before binning them all, however, I decided to compile a collection of the best and I have looked for humour where I can.
It is very clear that some of these email scams are so ludicrous that they really do beggar belief! Why, tell me, would the United Nations want to give me millions of US dollars to pay members of the public that have fallen victim to scam emails? I am even told that I can keep a ‘percentage’ for myself…
I have come to the conclusion that the standard of English is what really lets down these scammers. Look at this great example:
Be informed that the office transfer charge of $155.00 us dollars is compulsory that you have to pay regarding the instruction given to me that it's the only money you have to pay until you received your payment completely.
or this beauty:
Secondly we have been informed that you are still dealing with the none officials in the bank, all in your attempt to secure the release of the fund to you. We wish to advise you that such an illegal act like this have to stop if you wishes to receive your payment since we have decided to bring a solution to your problem. Right now we have arranged your payment through our swift card payment center Asia Pacific, that is the latest instruction from Mr. President, Goodluck Jonathan (GCFR) Federal Republic of Nigeria.
I hope you have fun reading these, but remember: if you want to send anyone money, just download this ebook a hundred times; my wine merchant always needs more cash from me!
David Crombie
www.crombiejardine.com
Attn: My Dear Good Friend,
I am Mr. Anthony Bill, secretary to Dr. Timothy Hanson. I'm writing to inform you about your compensation fund sum of $1.8 Million, us dollars my boss was issued in your name before he traveled out of the country for his business trip, Before he traveled out he instructed me to send you the total money through Western Union Money Transfer because it will be less expensive and reliable for you to be receiving your daily payment of $7,000.00 us dollars until you receive your total money completely.
Meanwhile, the manager stated yesterday that, the director Administrator Trust Funds has already signed and approved your payment, which you will be receiving your payment sum of $7,000.00 us dollars daily immediately you sent them their transfer charge of $155.00 us dollars and it will serve as confirmation of your file payment from the office in charge. So you are to contact them on the information below.
Vital Finance Bank Western Union Department.
Location Address; Plot 1261, Adeola Hopewell Street CO/B/REP
Contact Person: Mr. John Gomez
Telephone Number: +229-9605-8280
Email Address: (wnoffice@blumail.org)
Be informed that the office transfer charge of $155.00 us dollars is compulsory that you have to pay regarding the instruction given to me that it's the only money you have to pay until you received your payment completely.
So you are required to re-confirm your personal details to avoid any hitches in receiving your full payments.
This is what they need from you as the Receiver.
Your Full Name:
_____________________
Your Country/City:
_____________________
Your Occupation:
_____________________
Your Current Telephone/Fax Number:
_____________________
A Copy of Your ID/ Int'l Passport:
_____________________
Test Question:
_____________________
Answer:
_____________________
Remember to keep me update immediately they have started sending you payment as programmed, but please make sure that you comply with them to enable them serve you better.
THANK AND REMAIN BLESS.
MR. ANTHONY BILLS.
Dear Beloved in Christ
Please use this money for the poor people, churches and less privileged people.
Greetings to you and your family, In my search for a reliable person and all so a Good person and having gotten your contact through prayers and painstaking efforts I have decided to seek your help in carrying out my last wishes.
I am Mrs. Juanita Ortiz Walker ,suffering from cancerous ailment.I am married to Mr.Ortiz Walker ,my husband worked with the Texaco for twenty years before he died in the year 2008. My late husband deposited the sum of £ 17.5 Million (Seventeen Million Five Hundred Thousand Pounds) with a Bank in Crest bank.Recently,my Doctor told me that I have limited days to live due to the stroke and cancerous problems I am suffering from.I have decided to donate this fund to you and want you to use this gift which comes from my husbands effort to fund the upkeep of widows and charities worldwide.I took this decision because I do not have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are bourgeois and very wealthy persons and I do not want my husband hard earned money to be misused.Awaiting your urgent reply via my Please, I beg you to help me to collect this deposit and distributes it a ccordingly.
Use your judgment to distribute the money and keep 10% of it to yourself. Feel free to reimburse yourself when you have the money for any cost you incur during the process of collecting and distributing the money.If you are willing to help, please reply as soon as possible.
May the good lord Email: (hijuanita1@hotmail.com)
Bless you.
With God all things are possible.
Your Sister in Christ,
Mrs. Juanita Ortiz Walker
Western Union Office
Mr.TERRY COOL
Call +229-98-828-009
I want to inform you that we have already sent you $5000.00 US Dollars through Western union as we have been given the mandate to transfer your full over due payment total sum of $800.000.00 USD, via western union by the Ministry of Finance.
I tried reaching you on phone to give you all the information on phone but I couldn't get through yesterday, So I decided to email you the MTCN and sender name so that you can pick up the $5000.00 to enable us send another $5000.00 today as you know we will be sending you $5000.00 only per day.
And it was agreed that you will pay the transfer charge sum of $67 before the release of the payment to you.
Call +229-98-828-009, E-mail: (western_unionbenin3@hotmail.fr)
MTCN ---- 4312-024-395
Answer ---- God
Country ---- Benin Republic
Your.Question ---- A
DR.JAMES KUIT