Praise for The Imprint Journey

“Liliane demonstrates that the imprints of our past need not limit our lives. Sharing her years of personal and professional experiences in recovery and counseling, Liliane shows how lives can be transformed, and provides the reader with tools to begin their personal transformational journey. This is a must read for anyone wishing to take their inner lives to higher levels of greatness, and for any professional looking for a transformational resource to use with their clients in all forms of healing and recovery.”

Donna Mailloux, Psychologist, Researcher, and Adjunct Professor,

Carleton University, Ottawa

“There has never been any doubt in my mind that we are all products of our environment as well as of our genetics. And both of those factors, whether we like it or not, lead us to some rather peculiar behavioral patterns or, probably even more accurately, the repeating patters of such behavior. What has never been quite clear to me though was exactly why and how we keep repeating such actions, which are all too oftentimes very destructive and/or self-destructive. The best answer I've found so far is the one provided by Liliane Desjardins in her book The Imprint Journey. Never judgmental, never preachy and never overly technical, this is one of those rare books that will make you think and re-evaluate who you are and why you are acting the way you are. If you are lucky, you will gather enough courage to deal with the issues that bother you. All the tools are there, you just need to find the courage to make that first step.”

Olivera Baumgartner-Jackson, Reader Views

“In The Imprint Journey, Liliane Desjardins has boldly stepped forward to tell her own story of dysfunction, misguided beliefs, and an amazing recovery. After working for more than thirty years as a clinical addiction specialist, formulating the Desjardins Unified Model of Treatment of Addictions, co-founding Pavillon, and penning Rewriting Life Scripts, she now tells her own long overdue story of an amazing journey that transformed her into a woman with a mission to help others find their authentic selves. Liliane's personal story reads like a good novel, full of excitement as well as fear and confusion, that reveals to the reader how she formed her often negative imprints—misguided beliefs that crippled and limited her life

The Imprint Journey is a book that will help inspire and transform anyone wise enough to read it. Even people who have been in recovery for many years will find new insights into themselves in these pages that will help them live even more authentic lives. Thank you, Liliane, for telling your story—for having the courage to share so much of yourself with others, and for leaving this book as part of your legacy and the culmination of an unforgettably powerful life and career.”

Tyler R. Tichelaar, Ph.D.,

author of the award-winning novel Narrow Lives

“The Imprint Journey will touch your very soul and make way for profound transformation. From personal story to practical steps, Liliane walks with her readers on the path of awakening. Your life will be changed. It is in understanding our imprints that we open to the desires of our heart's. No longer does our past have to play out in the ‘now’, or in the future. No longer does our past have to sabotage our soul's longing. Take a walk on the healing side of life and get ready for your Greatness and be transformed!”

Carolyn Craft, Psychotherapist, Broadcaster, Unity Minister

“Waking Up With Carolyn Craft” – Sirius Satellite Radio

“Mrs. Desjardins has written a book that's well-beyond interesting. With masterful presentation, the first section is an amazing story dedicated to her childhood; in fact, it reads almost as if it were an extremely well-written historical novel about WWII. The second half of this fascinating work actually explains and outlines Mrs. Desjardins’ work that she's been immersed in for over thirty years; a work that, I believe, could help a great many people change the course of their lives.

Whether you're in recovery of some sort, or you find yourself in a monumental depression, the way this author tells you about how you got there, and how she describes the fact that your Authentic Self is your real self buried under all the negative garbage you bear witness to every day, is a new and fresh idea that will help many people who are desperately trying to find the sun in their dark, dismal world.

Not only can this book be categorized under informative and interesting, but it is also a truly inspirational, uplifting story about how one woman found a way to offer herself forgiveness, at the same time finding a way to be grateful for every aspect of her life, and granting herself the freedom to live it.”

Amy Lignor, Feathered Quill Book Reviews

“In this honest, inspiring and definitive book, Liliane Desjardins leads us on a path of self-discovery and hope. The bridge built as her life's work and shared in these lucid and powerful pages, connects us to deep and sustained healing, renewed vision and the kind of peace that is our spiritual birthright!”

Rev. Steve Bolen, Sr. Minister

Unity Church of the Hills, Austin, TX

“I consider Liliane Desjardin's The Imprint Journey to be a must read for anyone who is interested in changing, or helping others to change, some aspect of their lives. She brings true insight and sensitivity to the field of personal growth, It is a book that will serve as a workbook and be used again and again.”

Joel Carroll, M.D.

The Imprint Journey

A Path of Lasting Transformation
Into Your Authentic Self

Liliane Desjardins

Foreword by Douglas Ziedonis, MD, MPH

Life Scripts Press

Contents

Dedication

Acknowledgments

Foreword

Introduction

Part I: My Personal Imprint Journey

Chapter 1 – Through the Eyes of a Child

Chapter 2 – A Post-War Life: History Repeated

Chapter 3 – A Turning Point

Chapter 4 – The New and the Old

Chapter 5 – The Vista of Possibilities

Chapter 6 – The American Dream

Chapter 7 – A New Beginning

Part II - Tools For Your Imprint Journey

Chapter 8 – Going Inward--Going Deeper

Chapter 9 – Anatomy of an Imprint

Origin of Imprints:

Personal Examples:

In My Financial and Educational Areas

My Father's Negative Imprints:

My Mother's Negative Imprints:

Elizabeth's Negative Imprints And Self-Perception:

Chapter 10 – Light at the End of the Tunnel

Positive Imprints from My Mother:

Positive Imprints From My Father:

Chapter 11 – Co-Creation

Chapter 12 – Accessing the Authentic Self: First Action Steps to Transformation

The First Action Step To Transformation: Awareness

The Second Action Step To Transformation: Admittance

The Third Action Step To Transformation: Release—Letting Go Of “It”

The Fourth Action Step To Transformation: Willingness And Permission To Change

The Fifth Action Step To Transformation: Forgiveness—Radical Forgiveness

First Result and Benefit of Actions Taken: The Shift in Self-Perception

Second Result and Benefit of Action Steps Taken: Revelation

Chapter 13 – Accessing the Authentic Self: Steps 6 through 9 to Transformation

The 6th Action Step To Transformation: Gratitude

The 7th Action Step To Transformation: Meditation—Visualization And Affirmation

The Eighth Action Step to Transformation: Building and Maintaining Consciousness

Sensation Addiction vs. Enjoyment

Characteristics of the Divine Imprint of Enjoyment

Characteristics of the Divine Imprint of Creativity

The Ninth Action Step To Transformation: Acceptance And Love…Love Is The Way

As A Result Of These Actions, We Will Experience: Oneness

Chapter 14 – Living in Freedom: Testimony

Freedom from Religious and Cultural Imprints (Lila)

Freedom from Eating Disorder and Codependency (Diana)

Freedom from Destructive Parenting Imprints (Gerry)

Freedom from the Infamous “They” (Irene)

Freedom from Self-Loathing (Mark)

Freedom from Fear (Charles)

Freedom from Dysfunctional Beliefs to Be My Authentic Self (Vic Feazell)

Freedom from Religious, Sexual, & Economic Imprints (Gilles Desjardins)

Chapter 15 – The Spiritual Dimension

The Power of Prayer and Meditation

From Breakdown to Breakthrough

Life is about Change

Appendix: Imprints Worksheet for Your Own Imprint Journey

About the Author

Bibliography

Index

This book is dedicated to Love

The Power of Love

Love that transforms and heals

Love that creates and builds

To my own grandchildren Emmanuel, Samantha, Francesca, Chantale, and Roxanne, beautiful, wise, courageous bright souls; the shining stars and joy of my life.

To my daughter Caroline, the brilliant woman of the world, the enthusiastic, creative scholar devoted to excellence. The beautiful loving soul whose love healed my heart.

To my son Richard, the bright light of recovery. The courageous, committed, and brilliant teacher, the bold and daring heart of service. To my loyal son who is my teacher of integrity.

Yes to my beloved children, the free inspiring spirits making a difference in this world.

To Vivianne my stepdaughter, whose love for her children and husband continues to be an inspiration. The brave woman who re-wrote the script of family dynamics.

To my daughter-in-law Gina, beautiful, warm, devoted, creative, compassionate soul, a woman in whose presence one feels safe and loved.

To my sons-in-law Joseph and Douglas, whose goodness of heart and love of family is a never ending inspiration. With their sense of humor they light up a home.

This book is dedicated to my husband Gilles. The man with a vision of Wholeness and Transformation. The man whose unconditional love heals and transforms. The Pioneer and builder of dreams, whose daring spirit, set high the bar of transformational recovery. The love of my life without whom this book would be just an idea. To my best friend whose unwavering faith reinforces mine.

To Nana, my step-mom, whose spirit of survival carried us all through the storms of life.

And to all who have walked with me on the Path of Recovery and Transformation.

Acknowledgments

I am grateful to so many people in my life who were and are a vital part of this book. My gratitude goes to Irene Watson, my writing mentor, my Master Mind partner, and my friend. Thank you for your vision, love, and guidance that gave me wings to fly.

To Tyler Tichelaar, my editor. I will be forever grateful for your trust, your refined talent, and professionalism, your patience with my hesitations, your warm and caring spirit, and your understanding of the vision. Thank you, Tyler.

My gratitude goes to Dr. Douglas Ziedonis, the brilliant scientific mind with a heart of gold, whose guidance and friendship through the years has been such a treasure. You have inspired me to be the recovery bridge between spirituality and science.

Thank you to my publisher, Victor R Volkman; he's my wonderful publisher and friend, whom I have never seen in person but fully trust.

I am so grateful to all the bold and daring souls whose stories of pain and triumphs give vibrancy to this book. I know how busy you are; thank you for taking the time to help this world be a better place.

My deep gratitude goes to my sponsors Jeannine Prevost and Jack Boland and to my teacher Rev. Michael B. Beckwith. They have shaped my faith and imprinted my new belief system.

Thank you to Patty Murphy and Dale Hole for their trust and support of our mission; without them the mission would not have been the same.

Thank you to Chuck Hayes and Robin Britt for understanding the value and vision of our model. Thank you for your boldness and tenacity.

Thank you to all staff members from Canada and North Carolina, as well as all the volunteers. Your spirit of health, wholeness, and transformation has made a difference in this world.

Thank you to all my faithful friends, prayer partners, and fellows in recovery. You were and are the wind beneath my wings.

And last but not least, I am truly grateful for the spirit of innocence, joy, and playful energy our little dog Angel gives me daily. Thank you, Angel, for your unconditional love in the early hours of the mornings when this book was being written.

Foreword

Ever feel like you are walking through life on autopilot and making the same choices over and over? Our brain can get stuck in repeat mode, which limits our options and potential. Increasing our awareness and better understanding our brain's “imprints” can be the first steps to healing and transformation.

We all have the capability to be more present in the moment—more fully aware of where and who we are. What distracts us? Where is our mind spinning? Is our mind fear-based and over-focused on the future? Or perhaps we are concerned and ruminate about past events? Where does our inner wisdom come from? What shapes our values and beliefs? Imprints! They began with the genetic code we were given at the moment of conception and developed through the many events, experiences, messages, and moments along our journey. These imprints influence our relationships with others, self, and God. They shape our behaviors, expectations, and perceptions. However, with new awareness and understanding, they can be changed.

In The Imprint Journey: A Path of Lasting Transformation Into Your Authentic Self, Liliane Desjardins shares her own journey and lessons learned as a therapist in an intimate and humble manner that is insightful, clear, and concise. Her book provides a fresh perspective on pursuing mindfulness and personal transformation. She reminds us that we have “hidden treasures” in our “true identity” and “authentic self” that can be overshadowed by life's pains and fears.

Liliane's book reflects her more than thirty years of clinical experience using the Desjardins Unified Model for treating substance and process addictions. Her work has been built on a strong foundation of traditional therapy with new insights from her clinical and personal experience. She can blend the Desjardins model well with traditional therapy approaches.

The author speaks to us as both a friend and as an experienced therapist, raising useful questions for reflection that will help us better appreciate our imprints and their effect on our thinking, beliefs, perceptions, expectations, and even on our physiological responses to external events. This book will help anyone who desires to transform his or her life through the exploration of imprints. You might read it in one sitting, but you are likely to go back to it many times as you have new ideas, challenges, and experiences.

I have known Liliane and her work for over fifteen years, and I have seen her in action as an amazing clinician who has helped thousands of individuals transform their lives, finding their authentic self with increased awareness, acceptance, and gratitude. From my own conversations with Liliane, I have been inspired and helped to develop into a more effective clinician and person.

As a physician and psychiatrist, I have worked with many individuals, couples, and families who suffer from addiction, mental illness, grief, separation, and other life stressors. The wisdom in this book could be a valuable resource and source of support to all of them as a self-help guide or tool in therapy or a support group. As a leader and teacher at the University of Massachusetts Medical School and UMass Memorial Health Care system (as well as at UCLA, Yale, and Rutgers in the past), I know that students, staff, and faculty benefit from having time for self-reflection and from help with balancing work, family, friends, and community. Increasing awareness, one of the most important things we can all do, is the first step in Liliane's model.

Liliane's transformational guide is grounded in deep healing traditions and also resonates well with modern neuroscience and the cutting edge science of “epigenetics.” Recent neuroscience breakthroughs are helping us to understand better how our imprints affect our ability to be aware and transform our lives. For example, our research team at UMass is studying awareness and other key phenomena involved in healing and recovery through the windows of brain imaging and genetic research. Scientists now understand that the genetic material we receive from our parents can be altered and changed in a healthy or less healthy direction due to exposure to physical forces (such as chemicals, addictive drugs, therapeutic touch, and medications) and powerful emotional experiences (such as war, emotional abuse, love, and positive therapy experiences). Encoded through our brain's memory pathways, the imprints of our life's experiences impact all our thinking, feeling, and doing. These changes have a biological basis, but transformation is more than just biology—it is spiritual and encompasses all aspects of being human.

Liliane's book demonstrates the power of personal narrative—the power of authenticity and sharing your experiences to give others strength and hope. Through her and others’ personal stories in this book, we can reflect on how our imprints ripple through our lives. During the first part of the book (Chapters 1-7), we connect with Liliane's story as a model for how we can reflect on our own imprints and how they have shaped our perceptions, beliefs, and actions.

Imprints that have affected my own life include a core identity influenced by immigration, acculturation, and assimilation into America. Being a first generation Latvian-American whose parents fled as adolescents from their homeland of Latvia during World War II, I can connect with Liliane's reflections on her own immigration experience and her journey through war, oppression, and forced migration while trying to maintain a culture and core values. Such events can alter our fundamental view of the world: What's real? Who do you trust? Trauma, disconnection, uncertainty, isolation, and fear can leave their imprint for several generations and cause ripples of post-traumatic stress, dissociation, denial, and minimization of reality. These events can also lead to transformative experiences and new opportunities. For example, despite the heavy imprints of war's traumas, my own parents were able to cope and, through hope, evolve to achieve healthy, spiritual, and productive lives.

Part II of the book turns from Liliane's own story to provide “Tools for Your Imprint Journey.” Its mission is to help us uncover the core components of our imprints (Chapter 9), including considering the genetic, familial, societal, cultural, and religious influences. Imprints impact how we perceive, act, and think about love, relationships, family, health, finances, religion, education, social activities, life's purpose, and our sense of accomplishment. Chapter 10, a particularly important chapter, helps us uncover positive imprints—hidden treasures and sources of strength from our parents and other sources. Chapter 11 focuses on our spiritual energy's healing power and shows how it is linked to our capacity for empowerment and transformation. In Chapter 12, this energy or awakening helps us to access our authentic self through awareness, forgiveness, cognitive shifting, gratitude, acceptance, and other important steps in transformation. This core chapter is at the heart of the theory behind Liliane's approach. Her nine core action steps to transformation are awareness, admittance, release, willingness to change, forgiveness, gratitude, meditation and affirmations, enhancing consciousness, and acceptance of love.

Liliane's steps to transformation provide a guide to the journey of transformation and freedom from perceived limitations based on our imprints. Not only does she describe the steps; she offers terrific questions for reflection and goals, strategies, and techniques. For example, she describes the helpful technique of a “Gratitude List” that will help us appreciate what we receive from others. Another example is the use of meditation, including visualization and affirmations. Meditation is a universal way to cultivate awareness, and Liliane respects the contemplative traditions and expands these approaches with other models. Throughout, she offers wisdom, values, and hope. From my own experience reading these steps, I could imagine some readers will follow each step one after another and others will want to modify the order of the steps on their journey. The model allows for flexibility and staying true to yourself.

In summary, this book is a wonderful gift from an outstanding therapist. Liliane has put together a story of her life and a guidebook for others that will help us all on our journey. Your life can be enriched by reading and following the steps outlined in this book, as well as by reflecting on the examples and questions it offers. I am honored to be able to make a very small contribution to this book, and I am grateful that Liliane has shared both her life's story and her wisdom in the service of helping us all to be more accepting, respectful, and open to our true selves and full potential.

Douglas Ziedonis, MD, MPH

Professor and Chair, Department of Psychiatry

Director, UMass Center of Excellence in Addictions

University of Massachusetts Medical School / UMass Memorial Health Care System

Introduction

We live in a fascinating time of human development. Our planet and mankind are undergoing a lot of changes and experiencing a lot of chaos brought about by that change.

Governing systems and structures are breaking down. Religious fanatics are fighting wars and killing in the name of God. We experience a daily overload of information. Our news media fails to report with journalistic integrity, but rather, it focuses on sensationalism to get the highest ratings.

Our technology has surpassed our humanity. The Internet has changed the planet's entire communication system, bringing the world into our living rooms, while creating islands of human isolation and escape.

For many, love and intimacy have been replaced by cybersex, sex scandals, sex abuse, and child pornography. We are fighting but losing the war on drugs. Now we have legal pushers: greedy doctors, pharmaceutical companies, and an entire out-of-control healthcare system keeping America medicated. We have become a society of addicts craving instant gratification and instant solutions.

Corporate America, with its lack of accountability, lack of ethics, corruption, and greed mirrors back our own immaturity and irresponsibility, making them the agenda of the day that almost collapsed the entire economy.

Our planet is crying for help and responsible stewardship. Global warming, hurricanes and tsunamis, earthquakes and fires, polluted waters, and dying species have become daily dramas.

Yet, it is all so paradoxical. Out of chaos comes the greatest creative growth. Chaos brings order just as light eliminates the darkness.

We are collectively undergoing a tremendous shift in consciousness. Science and spirituality are meeting, and together they are conquering the new frontier: the mind.

We are starting to understand the power of our minds. Quantum physics, brain studies, new research on brain plasticity, breakthroughs in medical technology and imaging, as well as genetic engineering are producing a quantum shift and leap in consciousness. Spirituality, meditation, and affirmative visualization are transcending religion and blending with science. The new human for the twenty-first century is emerging.

I am fascinated by the speed of discoveries yet profoundly saddened by the pain we are experiencing. However, from my own life experience, I know that pain is my greatest teacher and the catalyst for my continuing transformation.

For some time, my intuition has been nudging me to write. The little voice within me kept on whispering, “Put down on paper your thirty years of clinical work in the field of addictions and family therapy.”

My ego had many rationales and answers for why I should not carry through with that idea. “You are not a writer. You have nothing to say. Great minds have done it and done it much better. You don't have time. You're too old. You cannot polarize your energies into writing. You need to take care of serious business. Writing is not productive.” Does any of this sound familiar?

Well, life usually gets our attention. Some recent movies and the latest research have validated my deep beliefs about forms of healing, transformation, and spirituality. This new validation gave my Authentic Self the necessary push, motivation, and passion to write about and further my lifetime work.

I have been on a spiritual quest all my life. My spiritual path has meant journeying down the road less traveled by doing my inner work for the past thirty-five years.

The pain of addictions led me to a healing process, but my soul's yearning attracted to me the teachers and teachings necessary to transform my life and to shape my life's mission.

I arrived on this planet on September 20, 1938 in Zagreb, the capital city of Croatia. Zagreb is one of the oldest cities in Europe and yet one of Europe's youngest metropolises. Its long history began with its founding in 1094, and in 1242, Zagreb was proclaimed a free royal city.

Zagreb was founded where the last hills of the Alps merge into the Pannonian Valley. The city is cradled between the Medvednica Mountain, its highest peak being Sljeme, and the Sava River. The city is at the crossroads of various cultures, religions, and nations.

In the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries, Zagreb was badly devastated by fire and the plague. The city was rebuilt during the Austro-Hungarian Empire's occupation with its architecture being inspired by Vienna. One of Zagreb's most recognizable landmarks is its neo-gothic cathedral. Begun in the late eleventh century, the cathedral was not fully completed until the nineteenth century. The cathedral's treasury contains priceless treasures and relics dating from throughout its long history. Zagreb is also marked with beautiful avenues lined with chestnut trees and gardens filled with lilacs and jasmine.

According to my parents, my arrival was a happy event. I was the firstborn and would be their only surviving child—my younger brother died two days after his birth and my sister was a stillbirth. For a long time, I was the only grandchild in the family. Then, when I was two years old, World War II erupted in Europe and the Germans soon occupied my country of origin.

Years later, a wise person told me that we choose the perfect environment for our spiritual growth; yes, the perfect environment to learn the lessons we need to learn so we can carry out our life's purpose. I have found that answer to be the logical explanation for why I grew up in the country I did and at that time in history.

My parents were sweet people, who had an important commonality point: their alcoholic fathers. Only when I started my own recovery did I truly understood the impact this simple truth had on their lives and on our family imprints.

You might wonder what are imprints: they are our emotional map, the deep-seated beliefs and values stored in our brain's limbic system. In spite of everything we know, our imprints govern our life at the subconscious level. Let me illustrate.

Have you ever been in a situation you found so painful and embarrassing that you told yourself, “I will never make this mistake again,” only to see yourself a few days, weeks, or months later repeating the same mistake. The people and places may have been different, but the results were the same.

Did you ever, after ending a really bad relationship, swear you will never again get yourself into another such relationship, only to find that your next relationship is the same or worse than the previous one?

Have you said to yourself and perhaps to your friends that you will never be like your parents? You were sure you would never say the things they said, nor act the way they acted. Surprise! One day you hear yourself talking to your child and you sound, look, and act just like your parents—history has been repeated.

Your rational mind knows better; it knows what you do not want to be, to do, or to experience. So you wonder what is wrong with this picture. You ask yourself, “Why am I doing this?”

The answer is imprint. Our subconscious imprints are the deep-seated beliefs and messages we have received and internalized.

Once an imprint is internalized, it becomes a subconscious governing force in our lives. Our imprints form our emotional map, determining our ability to relate to self and to others. Imprints form our perceptions, values, and belief systems. Imprints determine the quality of our relationships with life, God, self, and others. Our values govern our choices as well as our behaviors. They determine whether we are reactive or pro-active.

The limbic system is the seat of our ability to connect with others and experience intimacy and love. It is also the seat of our imprints. Imprints form our emotional intelligence. Consequently, our imprints can enhance or sabotage our ability to connect, to form and sustain meaningful relationships with others.

Imprints can be broken down into two major categories: genetic and environmental. I will explore both in this book.

My purpose here is to take you on a journey of emotional, intellectual, social, cultural, and religious imprinting. In the first section of this book, I will illustrate for you the imprints I have developed during the past seventy-one years of my life; then I will provide you with the information and tools I have learned about imprints and share stories of others who have been successful in overcoming their own negative imprints. By doing so, I hope you will be able to transform your own life, shed the imprints that hold you back, and find your Authentic Self. We will talk more about what is the Authentic Self in these pages as well.

I am very grateful for everything that has ever happened in my life. It does not matter if I have internalized it as good or bad. All of it was necessary to transform me into who I am today. It was the necessary path to my true Identity and Authentic Self. My story is the story of suffering transformed into lessons, gifts, and victories. More than that, it is the story of human spirit rising above circumstances, thereby allowing me to rewrite my history. My passion, my creativity, and my compassion for humanity were all born on that path.

My hope is that this book will be the catalyst of your own transformation and awakening to your Authentic Self. My greatest hope is that children of wars and children of oppression and abuse can find hope, dignity, and a path of transformation. My intent is to take you on a journey of rewriting your history, shifting your perceptions, and discovering the truth of your origin. Thank you for joining me along this path.

Part I:

My Personal Imprint Journey