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Black Eagle Child

The Facepaint Narratives

Ray Young Bear

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For my beloved grandmother,

Ada K. Old Bear, whose

mystical cloak

protects me

from the icy rain.

It was her words

of encouragement

that led me

to Well-Off Man—

and back.

The Well-Off Man Church

November 1965

The Thanksgiving party at the Weeping Willow Elementary

School had just concluded with the same lethargic atmosphere

it started with. Poor planning and late hand-delivered

newsletters by the Limelighters contributed

to a disappointing evening for the few families

of the Black Eagle Child Settlement who had arrived

early with lawn chairs, blankets, and children

predressed in ornate dance costumes. The fresh,

striking smell of mimeo ink had once again lured

reclusive people out of their homes to join

the Why Cheer High School Indian girls’ club

for refreshments—and a pow-wow. Dolores Fox-King,

club president, encouraged community attendance

“for national holidays are celebrated by Indians, too!”

But tribal members were keenly aware affairs

such as Christmas, Halloween, and Easter

were meaningless. More so when wrapped gifts

and fine grotesque masks were unnecessary expenditures;

hard-boiled eggs, of course, were easy to decorate

and hide. As a child, colored eggs symbolized

the return of baskets filled with resilient

green grass, imitation chicks, and chocolate rabbits.

Although these items were donated by the Presbyterian

Mission, our guardians convinced us it was their doing.

Like the time my mother, Clotelde Principal Bear,

walked out from the frozen creek with a stocking

gift-monkey, I knew it came from the mission

by its old clothes, blankets-used-by-mice smell.

And with year’s end came satanic celebration

via carved pumpkins, witches on brooms,

and paper skeletons. There was also the birth

(death and resurrection?) of a sad-looking

bearded white man known as the son of God.

But even He was far away from our despair,

like the turkeys, stuffing, and cranberries

that were absent from most tables. This get-together,

I mused, was further indication

of our inability to chronologically set

social plans into motion, another attempt

to duplicate another man’s observance.

While we were a “tribe” in every respect,

it was unconscionable to help another

individual, family, or clan achieve

any degree of success in their public

endeavors. Behind the pretense

of cooperation were razor-sharp

anchors that raked and dug into

the visions of our grandfathers.

The girls’ club, for example, was aptly

represented by the influential Kingfisher,

Sturgeon, Bearcap, Hummingbird, Fox-King,

and Beaver clans, but what mattered the most

was leadership. Ideally, it had to mirror

politics. But everyone knew otherwise.

Community affairs were unjustly manipulated

by a group of progressive visionaries.

If there was an inkling of sympathy

for reinstating divine leadership,

the atmosphere was readjusted by these

illiterate dreamers. Everything was monitored,

including the girls’ club: the Fox-King sisters

were there, as usual, headstrong and obnoxious,

as were the Foxchild cousins and the plain Fox

twins, mixed-bloods. Also present were three

of the Water Runner sisters and their Red Boy

advisers. Standing to the side, where they

should be, were the Critical Ones. And

represented at every event was the clan

cursed to a hundred years of suicides,

the Excluded Ones.

It would never work—existence to the year

2000. Although our foreheads were not

misshapened with cedar slats from childhood

to denote tribal class, our Black Eagle Child

society was based on names. Our ancestors’

bones did not have glittering jewels inlaid

in their teeth to tell us of social structures;

instead, names were carried from one fortunate

or unfortunate generation to the next. The clash

between deities of the land, water, and sky

was imminent for human beings as well.

What our supernatural predecessors

experienced, it was said, we would

relive. It was part of our mythology—

and religion. But this was 1965,

and we were older and more stationary

in time.

The brass-studded octagon hide drum sat

upright at the center of the glossy Bureau

of Indian Affairs gymnasium floor, and the few

old men and women who entertained themselves

for a couple of hours with this instrument

through song and dance now sipped cool coffee

and chatted idly about recent community events.

The booming echo of the traditional percussion

instrument and the high nasal tones of the women-hummers

became forgotten sounds lodged

in the corners of the beamed ceiling.

In its place was gossip. There were, as always,

initial dismay and then gradual acceptance

of local atrocities: Rose Grassleggings

had again forgiven her husband for unusual

acts he allegedly committed on her daughters,

three of them. Judith, the oldest, was said

to drift in and out of dreams, night or day,

with her mouth slightly ajar; Christina,

the middle child who once had the loveliest

slanted eyes, was permanently cross-eyed;

and Brook, the youngest, was hidden from

the public. There was outrage, but no one

did anything. Castration was a mere fantasy

“under the influence” among the girls’ skinny

uncles. And then there was Claude Youthman,

who terrorized a carload of state dignitaries

in downtown Why Cheer for “laughing too long”

at his wife. When the wife was asked by

the farmer selling produce if she had

“a sack or anything to put it (the cantaloupe)

in,” the Indian woman panicked at what she

mistook as an obscene suggestion.

She could only stutter back, “Put it in?”

Before the limousine took direct cantaloupe hits,

the men who had brought promises of twenty

houses with indoor plumbing for the tribe

found this misinterpretation highly amusing.

The Farmers Market standoff might have been

funny, but everyone knew Claude’s brother,

a trained sniper, had the white men

in the cross hairs of his telescope

in case the confrontation escalated.

The limousine and its promises drove

away and never returned. And every week

Lorna Bearcap made the news. Yesterday

commodity surplus flour was poured over

her lover and stepchild. With white powdery

faces they could be seen running through

the valley before crying in horror.

This, the people speculated, was a result

of the turmoil in being unenrolled.

There had been knives and deliberate

bloodletting in the past. “What’s next?”

the people said. There was a firm belief

in tribalhood, equality, and fairness,

but in truth we were such a burden

to each other, an encumbrance, that

our chances of advancing into a reasonable

state of cultural acquiescence diminished

with each novel prejudice acquired.

There were instances of how we went

to extraordinary measures to impede

understanding, humanity, and the overwhelming

future.

All this internalized agony led us to hurt

or seriously injure one another for no reason

other than sheer disgust in being Indians.

Seasons determined the type of aggression people

would vent on one another. The full moons of summer

were notorious, and falls were utterly depressing.

Religious ceremonies were at their peak,

but the train of death ran parallel with ancient

beliefs, picking up passengers left and right.

“Do me a favor,” drunks would say in morbid jest

before passing out, “kill me.” But everyone

would wake up nauseated by the fact they

were still alive. This reality aggravated

the weak but dangerous ones who then took

it out on their innocent families. Many here

knowingly broke the law, and the rest became

accessories to crime. (The most famous was

the January 1936 drowning of three conservation

officers by twenty spearfishermen. No one

questioned the “stupid white man on weak ice”

story.) We kept awful secrets but dared not

to expose others for fear we would one day

have relatives in similar trouble. And if

the vicious vortex of a community of accessories

wasn’t enough, the law in the nearby twintowns

of Why Cheer and Gladwood didn’t care “one

stinkin’ skin” if guns were pointed and shot

as long as we were on the other end. Investigations

were quick and ineffective. Also taking

part in this condemnation were newspapers which

gave our people nicknames like Cucumber

Man, Muskrat Bob, and Indianapolis Isabel.

Sadly, this trio had the distinction of being

arrested for intoxication fifty times apiece

in three years, and through them was found

the justification to ridicule us in public.

Whenever the promises they made in court—

to pay fines or do community duty—were broken

because of a lull in cucumber harvests, fur trapping,

and amateur stock car races, anyone who could read

knew. We were kept abreast of their trials

through extensive quotes. Instead of the funnies

rural folk turned to the court news for “looking

down at the pits of society” time. It became

normal to hear police make jokes like, “I’ve seen

and fought with more redskins than Custer.”

For campaign publicity mayors would frequently

chase juvenile delinquents over our graveyards,

apprehend them with handcuffs, and pose

for photographs reminiscent of hunters

on an African safari. And it was over these

very graves that I silently wished my friends

and relatives farewell, knowing their harsh

journeys were over with while mine was just

beginning. The suicides, however, had no place

to go; they were stuck as shadows somewhere,

watching and wishing …

Near the hallway entrance to the gymnasium,

Ted Facepaint and I stood and watched the Limelighters

walk across the length of the basketball

court with their long brooms, picking up dust,

pebbles, crumpled paper cups, and cigarette

butts. Beside us, we could hear plans being

made for a collection to facilitate a party

at Lone Ranger or South Street. Since Ted

and I didn’t have money, we were ignored.

Like persistent fools, however, we stood

around nervously hoping for an invitation.

The ten-mile round-trip walk to the small

farming community of Why Cheer had become

a weekend highlight. With the cheapest beer

possible, Grain Belt, we would return over

the Milwaukee tracks, singing off pitch

and talking profanely to block the invisible

pain of midwestern Americana. The fact that alcohol-related

tragedies occurred on the cool rails

never bothered us as much as being penniless.

As the group turned to count their money, Ted

thought for a while before suggesting we

attend his grandfather’s annual Thanksgiving

ceremonial gathering. Among the six beliefs

of the tribe, this sect was the least I knew

anything of. Either they were discreet or people

made it a point not to talk about them.

I was aware people called them Those Who Partake.

But boldly stenciled in English on a mailbox

on Whiskey Corners Road was the name they preferred:

the Well-Off Man Church, a name which amused me.

Before I could respond with a “no,” Ted began

telling me about the gathering itself—

the church: “We pray and cleanse ourselves

with an imported medicine from distant desert

valleys owned by members of the Well-Off Man

congregation. Further, if this plant,

which is a form of mushroom, is ingested

and the mind is free of bad thoughts,

it produces a pleasant intoxicating effect.”

So anxious to do something and feeling

largely abandoned by people who I thought

were friends disappearing into the night

toward Why Cheer, I apprehensively agreed

with his proposal. We started our walk uphill,

the opposite direction. In a hopeless gesture,

I turned around to have a final look. The group

had transformed into shapeless objects

followed by the small red glow of their

cigarettes.

Afflicted with a speech impediment since infancy—

his brothers “baptized” him in a flooded

creek where a “strange germ” lurked—Ted laughed

wholesomely whenever my younger brother, Al,

called him Three-Speed after the Schwinn

English bike we all marveled in comic books.

Whenever Ted’s verbalization slowed down,

Al would remind Ted to “change gears like

a three-speed.” Ted would raise his eyebrows

and inhale deeply and accelerate, walking faster,

talking more rapidly. Since the bike was a luxury

we would never possess (no one ever sold enough

salve or garden seeds to own one), Facepaint

treasured the dream. It represented self-improvement

in school and society. I pondered about this as we

were walking, for our paces were different and more

apparent in motion. (But that was how our later lives

were to be: his impediments would one day cease while

mine would fester.) Before we reached the turnoff

on the community’s main gravel road, a squawking

pheasant broke into flight from a utility pole,

startling us. Sensing it was perhaps an omen,

we stopped to take deep, long breaths.

Above us in the central Iowa sky,

the stars shone immaculately, and the pine

valley road was well lit. As soon as Ted spotted

the dim porch light through the trees, he began

to brief me on what to expect, what to do

and not do, that except for a child or two

we would probably be the youngest people

in attendance. “If it was summer,”

Ted said excitedly, “we would descend

into the salamander effigy which overlooks

the lowlands and rivers. The medicine’s

effect is spectacular under the earth.

Tonight’s gathering, however, will be held

inside Circles-Back’s house. Just remember,

Edgar, should it come to you as an emetic,

there are empty coffee cans for that specific

purpose. Try not to think of throwing up,

no matter how terrible the taste.”

As we approached the house I thought it

was odd to see eight to ten cars parked near

a house at night. All being sober family types.

Once we stepped inside the warm kitchen

a familiar herbal odor filled my nose

and fogged my thick, black-framed glasses,

giving both of us a chance to relax and blend

into the solemn but tense activity. We unzipped

our coats and wiped our glasses on our shirttails.

Plump women wearing floral-print aprons

were exchanging news and busying themselves

with pots, pans, and firewood; men in western

shirts and ironed dress-slacks were puffing

cigarettes in the adjoining room. We were each

accorded a second of attention. Ted secretly

signaled his aunt Louise Stabs Back.

She politely excused herself from the table

where she directed the meticulous cutting,

cleaning, and sorting of both fresh and dry plants

Ted called A na qwa mi ke tti i o ni, Star-Medicine.

“Aunt Louise, this is Edgar Bearchild, Ka ka to.

Do you think Grandfather would give approval

for a visitor?” His short, cherubic aunt looked

up at us with warm eyes and calmly replied,

“Ted, I know who he is. His grandmother,

Ada Principal Bear, sometimes helps with

the cooking for the feast. Perhaps she may

even be here tomorrow.”

Without realizing it, I nodded in agreement.

Upon careful reflection I thought this must be

the place where my grandmother often walked,

even on the coldest winter day, to help out

with the feast—like she did with every

religious group on the Settlement.

From across the room I noticed Ted’s war-hero

uncle, Clayton Carlson Facepaint, coming toward

us in a low boxing stance. In the forties

Clayton became well known in the service

for his pugilistic ability. I had read

old newsclippings of his unheralded boxing

exploits. One headline read: “Champion

Joe Louis Spars with Indian Fighter

for War Bonds.” Later, Clayton was perhaps

the only Indian in the county—or state—

invited to join and fly bombing missions

with the RAF. He eventually became a prisoner

of war but escaped from Hider’s forces

by cartwheeling down a mountainside

and joined the French underground

where he waged successful strikes against

ammunition and fuel depots. Nowadays,

he was feared by all for his skills

in hand-to-hand combat; with one abrupt pinch

or swift chop to the delicate shoulders

or necks of abusive people, red or white,

he could literally put anyone’s lights out.

When he rotated his stocky body toward me,

I cautiously stepped back and nearly fell over

the woodpile. In blinding speed he hooked Ted hard

in the ribs several times, and Ted took it

without flinching. Clayton straightened up

to chuckle and congratulate Ted. He then stared

at me with squinty, knowing eyes.

“You remember?” he asked in a near whisper.

I knew what he was referring to right away;

I remembered the lewd, drunken comment

he made one night about his Caucasian

wife as he forced me to drive him home

from town. Doogie was what he called

her—an Indian reference for a person’s

frame spread apart. Out of nervousness

I must have been humored by this,

for he repeated it slowly again in my ear.

I quit breathing, not wanting to inhale

the pungent smell of chewing tobacco.

“The red-headed woman I love is so chubby

she’s got balls.” Detecting a hint of seriousness

this time, I pretended to be stricken with wonder.

“I have another one for you, Child Edgar Bear,”

he said while raking his butch with a metal comb.

“Listen to this: big rabbits, big white ones

with red ‘Thumper’ eyes.” I shrugged my shoulders,

indicating I didn’t know the joke, but images

from Bambi flashed in my mind in technicolor.

By Walt Disney. After Walter Cronkite.

Mutual of Omaha. And Walt Hill, Nebraska,

near Winnebago on the ridge where this portly

Mongolian warrior held up the caravan

of horses and wagons with a bullwhip.

Like a dazzling savior, Ted’s grandfather,

who was dressed in a dark blue suit and pants

with gray pinstripes, came out from the living room

and nodded his white-haired head. His attire

reminded me of someone from the notorious

Al Capone era; it was magnificent.

“Come on!” Ted said with a grin,

breaking my thoughts from “The Untouchables”

and the piercing, authoritative voice of its

narrator, Walter Winchell.

“Let’s go in before he changes his mind.”

We entered an unfurnished living room, which looked

and smelled newly constructed. The floorboards

creaked, and the pine lumber scent was overpowering.

Worn pillows and Pendleton blankets were lined up

neatly at the base of the drywalls.

To the south I closely examined

a framed painting of Jesus Christ,

who was descending from the billowy clouds

with a lamb cradled in his arms.

The yellow halo was the brightest object

in the glazed oil painting. “My brother,

Christian, did that,” remarked Ted proudly.

The artwork itself was the best I had ever

seen on the Settlement, but I failed to see

its significance. Christianity was the white

man’s belief. What the hell is it doing here?

I quietly asked myself.

Soon, people from the other rooms began

to filter in and choose their respective places.

The elder Facepaint sat on the north side,

and he was arranging what appeared to be altar-pieces.

But they were set on top of a crumpled

reed mat imprinted with English letters.

After a difficult time trying to read

the words upside down, I vocalized further

disbelief: “THE LORD LOVES AND WATCHES OVER

THIS HOUSE.” Ted tugged my arm and told me

to sit down; we sat below the painting

of Christ. From a small battered briefcase

the elder Facepaint took out a tin “salt-shaker”

rattle with a sparkling beaded

handle and topped with a stiff tassel of deer

hair. Next came four salamander figurines

in black, yellow, red, and light-blue earth

dyes. They protruded lifelike halfway out

of their own separate leather pouches,

positioned to the four cardinal points

around a cast-iron kettle. The elder

Facepaint began inhaling deeply, and I

could see this clearly for he had no teeth.

The loose, aged skin below his cheekbones

outlined this fact. Almost statuesque

in his white shirt and black bow tie

fastened by a German silver star,

the old man sat straight up in

preparation for a prayer. From

the sputter of air on skin, the words

gradually became audible. “For this very reason,

Holy Grandfather, we have gathered here tonight—

to essentially be together, to pray. A multitude

of reasons binds us. You know me as no stranger,

You, Holy Grandfather, the giver of eternal

medicine …”

Ted’s cousins, Norman and Asa Green Thunder,

knelt beside their praying grandfather.

At some given point in the sermon, they began

measuring and stretching the drum hide over

the small kettle’s brim. Speckled and striped

marbles were individually placed beneath

the hide. A white cord was then looped

around each marble over the hide. The kettle’s

stumpy tripod legs held the white cord

to the marble-posts in an intricate star

pattern. Before the last marble-post

was secured, steaming A na qwa o ni tea

was poured into the kettle, including fresh

pieces. Next a deer tine was used to tighten

the cord, stretching the drum hide even tighter.

Ted’s grandfather scrutinized each movement

in the course of his Thanksgiving prayer,

and if there was a slight error or time

lapse committed by his jittery grandsons,

he stopped the proceedings and apologized

to the small water drum which was being

handled and dressed like a small person.

When that was done, he gently shook

the drum and sprinkled the hide with water.

“Ki tti tta ki tti ta bi wa ki ko ye a ki?

Has everyone sat down?” he queried

into the kitchen. “Very well. I will begin

by commenting on our two grandchildren,

ko tti se me na na ki, who have chosen wisely

to sit with us on this occasion. It is indeed

a good thing, but they must be told this

congregation and its divine purposes aren’t

for fun. There are serious considerations

to make, and they will no doubt come into

contact with our very words, feelings—

and thoughts tonight. They must tell

themselves repeatedly not to feel unkindly

toward our sacrament, which is after all

our sole means of spiritual communion.

Other people within the community

have callously equated A na qwa o ni

to eye matter of a negative deity,

but for us, the Well-Off Man Church,

all the good we know in this world lies

within the medicinal qualities of our

Star-Medicine …”

Ted and I listened with our heads bowed down;

we were slightly embarrassed for causing concern

and attention. Both of our heads jumped when

the old man pounded out the four introductory

notes on the drum. The Green Thunder cousins

quickly repositioned themselves on each side

of their stout grandfather. In a low voice

Ted told me his grandfather and two cousins

represented the Three Stars-in-a-Row,

the Orion constellation. “Stars symbolize

our religious beginnings.” Norman Green Thunder

looked very attentive as he gripped a maple

sapling “struck by lightning” and wrapped

with stringy vine: the staff. The younger

brother, Asa, was securing a pin above

the salt-shaker rattle.

“Following my grandfather’s songs,

one will sing while the other drums.”

It was hard to envision these two brothers

as nocturnal musicians. For the old man,

their grandfather, it wasn’t.

Mesmerized by his eloquent words

and physical gestures—for the drum—

I was unaware all eyes were on me.

In particular, there was an Alexis Bearcap,

whose bulging gray eyes resembled the marbles

under the drum hide, mixed-blood eyes too huge

for their sockets. He was overly intrusive,

and I tried to stare back. He’s exactly

like Lorna, his crazy sister, I fumed.

I soon realized my hostility was unwarranted

for I was the outsider. Everyone—acquaintances

and visiting Indians—would ostensibly view

my presence as an intrusion. I became acutely

self-conscious and trembled. There were about

twenty-five people in the room, more men

than women. Some of the women who assisted

earlier in the kitchen now sat across

from me, bundled up in Pendleton blankets

and perspiring heavily. My anxiety

subsided somewhat when each person,

except Alexis, caught my eye

and acknowledged me with an almost

undetectable nod or wink.

Among them I recognized “Mr. Jim Matcheena”

(the way we were taught to address him in school),

a short, comical, and loquacious sort of fellow

who made a point of being at all gatherings,

ceremonial or social. Although he was retired

as a government maintenance man from Weeping

Willow Elementary, he had a habit of wearing

his dark green khaki work clothes every day.

He grinned perpetually at everyone and anything.

He ambled about in a tottering manner,

and his short height brought him down

to the level of children who would flock

around him, myself included, to wait

for clownish tricks and Juicy Fruit gum.

However, long before he first noticed

signs of my manhood during mandatory group

showers at school in fifth and sixth grade,

Mr. Matcheena stood out in my earliest memories:

on the morning of my grandfather’s funeral

feast in 1954, I woke up and found him

holding a bucket of dishes and cups above me.

But he wasn’t looking at me. He was instead

totally enthralled with a young teenaged girl,

Elizabeth Marie, who slept beside me. Her lace-trimmed

dress had rolled up past her navel,

exposing her soft, lithe body.

“Touch her,” he said as he saw me wide awake.

“Touch her right here.” Before he could say

anything else or act on his absurd suggestion,

one of the woman cooks, outside, perhaps

Elizabeth’s mother, yelled out,

“Jim! Bye to no be na a na ka na nai!

Bring the dishes (promptly)!”

The trance broken, he grunted

in disdain and walked out the door.

Afterward, whenever I saw him, he would joke

around: a mime reenacting that particular morning

years ago. He knew I remembered. Amid the loss

of my grandfather curiosity for the female

anatomy was firmly established. I never saw

the pretty Elizabeth Marie again. I later

learned she had asked social authorities

in town to send her away or she would

“die like her three sisters and mother.”

They obliged the precocious Indian girl

without question. Her father had jeopardized

her future at Black Eagle Child by selling

sacred items, information, and songs

to museums in Washington, D.C., and Germany.

All the daughters except Elizabeth perished

under mysterious circumstances.

Next to Mr. Jim Matcheena sat John Louis,

who frequently called himself “just another

demented soul.” I never knew its exact meaning,

but it always sounded impressive. With a redtail

hawk fan in front of half his face, John

peered at me capriciously. He would flick

the fan to the left and then right,

showing his scarred face. At twenty,

he was a lover of alcohol like his father.

While his face was slightly deformed from

automobile accidents, John had a pleasant,

outgoing demeanor. In fact, he had lots

of friends; most were attracted by the adult

characteristics he exuded. We called each other

Chicken Soup after a diagram he once drew

in school of the male reproductive system.

John Louis blocked his eyes with the hawk fan

and silently mouthed the words. I looked away

to keep what little composure I had.

The elder Facepaint’s opening prayer touched

all aspects of tribal life. He mentioned the need

for people of all faiths to cooperate, and he asked

God to care for the ill whether they were present

or elsewhere. He also asked for the safe return

of sons in the armed forces overseas. He concluded

Indians basically had little to be thankful for

on this national holiday, but what was crucial

was continuation of our culture. “We make use

of this special time because we are home

and together.” Following this, he requested

the First Fire Keeper, X. J. Louis, to bring in

ashes for the incense purification of the altar

and the four “watching salamanders.”

The First Fire Keeper came in with a metal toy

shovel and placed it in front of his father,

who then sprinkled cedar incense over

the red ashes. The smoking shovel was circulated

to each of the members, and when it came to me,

I copied their movements: I liberally fanned

myself with smoke and rubbed my arms with it.

Everyone had their own unique way

of purifying themselves. Some used fans

decorated with serrated feathers of pheasants

or exotic birds, while others, especially

the older ones, appeared to be washing themselves

with the liquid and fragrant blue smoke.

Several applied it on their throats

and over their hearts with fans made

from the wings of eagles.

Gift of the Star-Medicine

After this ritual cleansing was done by everyone,

I was quickly overcome by a sense of giddiness

at my lack of form. I was never a good imitator.

There was a moment when I almost broke into

a foolish grin. I most certainly would have,

but the elder Facepaint took everyone’s

attention by gently shaking and nudging

the “child” drum as if from its nap.

Norman Green Thunder, with his oily Elvis Presley

hairdo and Hawaiian floral-print shirt,

drew the drum between his knees and tilted it

at a forty-five-degree angle toward the white

female oak drumstick clutched firmly

in his right hand. Norman’s wide, light-complexioned

face was taut and extra-smooth:

a visage which reminded me of a strong

and defiant channel catfish,

right down to the Fu Manchu mustache.

Norman cleared his throat in nervousness.

As he began to drum he held and bent his left

arm and hand down to the drum’s brim and tuned

the wet resonating hide with his roving thumb.

When the tone faltered, like an engine starter

on a below-zero morning, Norman slowed the beat

and retilted the drum to slosh the water inside.

Once the tuner-thumb was in the right place

and the drum at a perfect angle, I noticed

the rich tonality of the humming water

trapped inside the cavity of the kettle.

Its intensity and rhythm reminded me

of my heart growing excited in midhunt

at the sight of deer blood marking a precious

fiery-orange path over the frozen snow.

From the drum a fine spray of water arced

outward and landed on the clear pine-board floor,

creating a circular shape like that of an eclipse.

Almost inaudible at first, the elder Facepaint

began a slow ailing song from deep inside

his chest:

Spirit of Fire, Spirit of Fire,

Spirit of This. This is the reason

your medicine will work for us,

our divine Firefather.

Ted meekly leaned over and in a breath

of apprehension whispered that after the opening

song, his grandfather would recite the brief

but important creation story of their religion.

Four verses later, as advised, the elder Facepaint

began to talk:

“There exists a past which is holy and more

close to us than ourselves. In gatherings

such as we have tonight, we would be remiss

in not remembering it, acknowledging it

as something new for the young minds here.

For us, the aged, we must never let it grow

old, for it is as much a religious history

as it is tribal. We believe it is in part

why our families reside here: Long before

the establishment of Black Eagle Child,

there was a hunter, ke me tto e na na,

our grandfather, Te te ba me qwe,

Dark Circling Cloud. He was chosen

one winter by the night sky to receive

the Star-Medicine, A na qwa mi ke tti i o ni.

The gift came to him when he was returning

from a long, unsuccessful hunt, going home

from west to east. That time we resided near

the Mississippi River valley. It was common

knowledge that somewhere in the prairie interiors

toward the west a river called the Swanroot

possessed a bottomless bend from which powers

emanated to anyone at any time. The only

trouble was, no one knew whether the tumultuous

upsurge of an underwater river healed or destroyed.

Many people became convinced it served as an abode

for evil entities when not traveling about.

For us, today, it is the exact opposite.

From somewhere below the depths of earth,

the underwater river flowed up and never froze

in winter. To this day, this is true. Many

of our early hunters took drastic precautions

when passing through this area. It was said

people who slept near here never woke.

Te te ba me qwe, because of his fasting

strength, was not in fear when he chose

to bed down over the warm sand of this

mysterious riverbend. The fact is, because

of his hunger, exhaustion, and coldness,

he had little choice. He lay down on the white,

comfortable sand and closed his eyes; he boldly

planned to drink the warm water and to bathe

in it upon waking. That night, he was awakened

by what sounded like a hundred arrows whizzing

overhead simultaneously. The evil spirits must

be setting out, was the thought in his heart.

As he dared to open his eyes to the sky,

he detected four small lights in movement.

Among all the stars these four wavered

slightly. The more he looked, the more

he realized the lights were growing in size.

He concluded they were in descent. Before long,

suspended above him were four luminescent bubbles.

At treetop level the open water began to boil

and mist. Te te ba me qwe said to himself,

‘Me me tti ki me ko me nwi ke no to ki

mani ne ta ma ni. Perhaps what I am now

seeing has to be good.’ Directly in front of him,

the four bubbles of light soon aligned themselves

west to east over the boiling river and began

emitting sparks. From the smoke created by

the sparks, a thundercloud lifted

and traveled upriver. It came to a stop

and sent silent bolts of lightning

to the ground below. In the lightning’s flash,

Te te ba me qwe saw the shape of a canoe

drifting listlessly downriver with four

motionless men aboard. When they were directly

in front, the men reached for their paddles.

As soon as the paddles plunged into the river,

fierce thunder shook the land. The four deer-masked

men rowed to where the four lights

had hovered. Then they guided the canoe

to the sand with the thundercloud following

closely above. Wearing tall deer antlers

they each stood in front of what was now four

smoldering black rocks. The four men struggled

to breathe in their tight masks, but they stood

erect. Their antlers became the mirror image

of the lightning bolts and reached back up

to the night sky. When the star-boulder closest

to Te te ba me qwe began to talk, the deer-masked

men vanished as did the thundercloud, and the water

stopped boiling. This was the boulder which foretold

our religion. Te te ba me qwe knew right away

what his role was; he had been selected

to be the principal intermediary.

The second boulder gave us the first

four opening songs. Te te ba me qwe

subsequently learned twenty more sets

of songs. These songs are rearranged

meticulously throughout the night ceremony.

The third boulder gave us rules by which to pray.

Te te ba me qwe memorized the intricate and complex

orations. The fourth boulder, the Fourth Star,

gave us A na qwa mi ke tti i o ni, Star-Medicine.

And it is this Fourth Star who stayed to remind

us perpetually of what is true. The Fourth

Star now resides underneath the ridge near here.

The effigy is therefore a reassuring place where

we can go whenever we falter from the weight

of worry. We hereby honor our grandfather,

Dark Circling Cloud, through the medicine

which was once a falling star …”

There were tears in the old man’s bloodshot

eyes. Even Al Capone must have cried once

or twice at the Lexington Hotel. A lump grew

in my throat, knowing all too well the sorrow

of seeing my own grandmother weep. Being young

I could never pinpoint what caused her despair.

But the suffering came in unpredictable surges

of human emotion. Without warning the waves

crashed on her endlessly. She would be at

the table, peeling potatoes for supper,

or doing ribbon appliqué on dress panels

by daylight near the window or kerosene lamp

when the reality of our poverty would hit her.

The distant oceans I only read about came over

the top of the wooded hill, and the waves raced

down, toppling what was otherwise a semblance

of a strong household. There was my grandmother,

my mother, and my younger brother, Al. When not

at work, school, or the military, my two uncles,

Winston and Severt, would be there. Even with

the family present there was no sight more

devastating than Grandmother crying.

It was as if someone had suddenly died.

I often wept along behind the door or outside

in the shadow of the house, never knowing why.

There was no evidence of physical pain except

the one in my immature heart. The excitement

of the evening came down in the form of rain

from the elder Facepaint’s weary eyes.

He lowered his white-haired head

and covered the German silver star

on his chest with his double chin.

Soon, a large brown grocery bag was passed

around the room. We each took four plants

and began eating them. The fresh outer part

of a single A na qwa o ni didn’t have any taste,

but the inside portion tasted like the chalky vomit-tasting

vitamins my mother used to give me.

Vitamins I could never swallow.

There were violent arguments for health,

One-A-Day brand events which so traumatized me

that I often slept with a pitcher of water

beside the bed, for my throat would clog

in sleep. I turned to Ted and grimaced.

“I really don’t think I can eat all of these.

If I take another bite I am bound to get sick.”

I could feel the thick, poisonous saliva

coating my tongue from the back to the front.

“Damn, Ted, I’m not kidding,” I said, hoping

for a way out. Sensing my timing and reach

for the empty coffee can would be insufficient,

I was drenched with perspiration. Ted raised

his arm at the appropriate moment and got

his grandfather’s attention.

“Grandfather, could you appoint

someone to chew Bearchild’s medicine?”

The elder Facepaint chuckled before addressing

me. “Ka tti ya bi ke te tti so? Ka ka to?

What is your name? Ka ka to?” I affirmed

with an overdone nod. “Yes, I thought so,” he said

while searching for additional commentary.

He reflected for a second and offered,

“Your Indian name is an archaic Bear clan

name; it is so old no one remembers its

precise meaning. But I do know this:

the one person you are named after used

to ride horses a lot. He was a superb horseman.

I will therefore call you Randolph Scott,

after the motion picture cowboy actor.

With a name like that, Randolph Scott,

you should have no problems eating the rest

of the medicine.” Everyone broke into

a much-needed laugh. Myself included.

The elder Facepaint appointed a short,

well-dressed gentleman by the name of Percy Jim

to chew the remaining pieces. A white folded

handkerchief was relayed to me. I carefully placed

the three pieces in the handkerchief and returned it

the same way to the appointed chewer. In no time

at all, the chewer went through the antics

of a voracious squirrel stuffing the three

large pieces into his mouth. While everyone

observed, he spat the masticated A na qwa o ni

into his stumpy hands and deftly rolled it into

a green ball. The green golf ball came back to me

in the white soaked handkerchief.

“Now, Randolph,” chided the elder Facepaint,

“swallow the medicine whole and you will be

all right.” I knew the task was impossible;

even with my mother I could never down two

small vitamin tablets. Things unimaginable

were done for newcomers here.

“Do I have to do as he says?” I sighed

to Ted. “Yeah, Edgar, you have to,”

he replied sternly. “He gave you permission

to sit with us, and the medicine was chewed

for you. What the hell you want? For someone

to hunt a spoon and feed you? Your task

was lessened by half. It is the least

you can do.” Just when the star-boulder

songs resumed, I secretly broke the green

golf ball in half and swallowed it reluctantly.

I hid the other half under my knee and closed

my eyes in repulsion. I thought immediately

of a photograph of the person whom I was named

after: wearing a crumpled straw hat and a ribbon

shirt, he sat slouched-backed on his mount

and Alfred Pretty-Boy-in-the-Woods sat

across from him atop another. The title

read: “Men on horses with summer sun shade

and reed-covered dwellings in the background,

ca. 1904.” The knowledge he was a true horseman

was little consolation for the rock hardening

in my stomach. It seemed to demand its own space

and kicked from side to side, making my being

hollow. I forced myself to conjure a mental image

of Randolph Scott. He was getting up from

an arroyo after a lengthy fistfight.

His hair was messed up and dust clung

to his chaps.

With part of a meteorite fermenting under

my navel, I sat back and listened to the eloquent

word-songs. The words in Black Eagle Child language

were ingeniously arranged. They almost sounded all

the same, but upon careful listening, one added

or excluded word or syllable made for an entirely

different song.

THE BLACK STONE SONGS

This black stone has brought us

songs that we must use when

we call down the stars.

This stone named Black Stone

has brought us songs to use

to bring down the star groupings.

Black Stone is the one responsible

for bringing us songs to call down

the bright stars.

Black Stone comes down from above

with songs for us to use to greet Him.

In between the songs, a bucket

of steaming A na qwa o ni was passed around.

Ted and I took two dippers apiece. I began

to take note that in spite of the commotion

I could hear the steady whirring of the clock

on the wall, next to Christ. I looked at my

pocketwatch. We had “gone in” at eight o’clock.

It was now ten o’clock. My stomach was warm

and mildly upset, yet my thoughts felt placated.

At Ted’s warning, for fear I would gag, I refused

the powdered substance. For some reason we both

looked up and saw John Louis smirk. With his scarred

but puckered lips and cheeks he was hoping

to annoy us. We pretended to be undaunted.

The dramatics with the redtail hawk fan became

more emphatic and womanlike. He now fluttered

his drowsy eyelids like a shy southern belle.

All was well and entertaining until he leaned

forward and mistakenly spit into the coffee can

containing the powdered A na qwa o ni.

A fine cloud of dust shot up from the container

and covered his stunned face. For once

the “demented soul” looked hilarious.

John Louis froze immediately, his eyes

blinking and the potent dust falling off

in clumps. Ted and I looked at each other

with raised eyebrows and open mouths and muffled

our laughs in our sleeves. All of a sudden,

in the midst of this, Mr. Matcheena,

the retired clown, crawled outward from

his space on the wall with his rump

protruding high in the air and stared

hypnotically at the damp eclipses on the floor

made by the water drum. He was still there

when Ted and I drank four more dippers

of medicine apiece. Finally, a lady

in a black ruffled dress was requested

by someone to tap the soles of Matcheena’s

moccasins. The government clown turned

around as expected, but he digressed

further in disconcertion. He began bowing

to the wall like someone from the Middle East.

In time Ted chanted, “Salami, salami,

baloney,” but I wasn’t amused.

“Geez, what’s wrong with him?” I asked

out of concern. Having no answers, Ted

asked the same of his war-hero uncle.

It was a mistake. Clayton hypothesized that

Matcheena was suffering a horrendous cramp

of the buttock. A sense of fear set in after

I feigned a weak smile at both Ted and Clayton.

Would I be doing the same foolish things

later on? My eyes and finger muscles began

to twitch involuntarily. All around the room

the facial expressions varied. There were far-off

looks, near-smiles at space, or explicit

sadness. I attributed my twitching to the corn