FLORIDA'S LOWER KEYS
Bruce Morris
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© 2009 Hunter Publishing, Inc.
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Few places in North America have changed as much as South Florida has in the last 100 years. Few places in South Florida have changed as little as have the Keys and the parts of the Everglades that are now Everglades National Park. Fortunately, preservation efforts have saved the Everglades from the worst development pressures and the Keys wears well the modest amount of development that has occurred.
The Keys have long been a refuge for the independent-minded and have attracted creative types since they were first settled. Key West is famous as the home of many noted writers and artists.
Galleries
The elegant gallery at the Kona Kai resort on Key Largo is open to the public and features such artists as Ruth Bloch, Vincent Magni, Clyde Butcher and Dirk Verdoorn. Key West is almost overflowing with art and noted galleries, including A Boy & His Dog, Fine Art, Bluewater Potters and Gallery on Greene.
Local Artists of Note
Sandford Birdsey's watercolors capture the "Old Key West" spirit. Renowned artists like Suzie De Poo, Judy Waterman, George Carey all have their works in Key West galleries.
Museums
Even though there are no grand publicly supported museums in the traditional sense, there are a couple of real stand-outs among the tourist-oriented offerings. Mel Fisher Maritime Heritage Society and Museum, 200 Greene Street, Key West, tel.305-294-2633, is famous for its impressive displays of gold, jewelry and artifacts retrieved from the Atocha and other wrecked Spanish treasure ships. The Little White House Museum, 111 Front Street, tel.305-294-9911, Key West, is one of the most interesting of the historical attractions in the Keys. The amazingly twee and boring Key West Shipwreck Historeum, tel.305-292-8990, www.shipwreckhistoreum.com, caters to the cruise ship crowd milling about Mallory Square.
Whether your idea of culture is sipping tea while listening to lectures on fine art or guzzling margaritas served from a hose while enjoying a wet T-shirt contest, the Keys have something to suit all tastes. Events like Fantasy Fest, various arts and crafts and exotic food festivals, as well as weird underwater concerts fill the calendar. See Holidays & Cultural Events for details on the region's fantastic celebrations.
Even a picky eater like me has a hard time complaining about the great seafood found in Keys' restaurants. Fresh fish, shrimp, local lobster (called "lobster," but actually the Florida crawfish or spiny lobster) and crab are everywhere. It's hard to go wrong eating local seafood, but steer clear of restaurants where the "fresh local seafood" actually comes to their back door pre-breaded and frozen. It's packed in cardboard boxes with the layers of breaded "units" separated by thick wax paper. That's why the shrimp are unnaturally flat. The breading is usually a bigger part of the serving. I am also dismayed by what even some upscale restaurants serve as "steamed vegetables." These come, you guessed it, frozen and already steamed in large plastic bags. They all look the same and the cooks just shake them out of the bag and put them in a hot table until needed. When I'm paying $20 and more for my meal, I expect fresh food.
With the help of this book, you can find real, fresh seafood for reasonable prices. The "Author Picks" listed in this book are places I have eaten at over and over again and know to be good. Still, places change. If you find any of my recommendations to be incorrect, please let me know so I can revisit and update my review for future readers. Send your feedback to comments@hunterpublishing.com.
My general advice is to stick with local specialties, which are usually very good. Ask the locals where they eat. If you order snow crab or halibut (neither one found alive anywhere near the Keys) you are getting a frozen dinner. If you order yellowtail, it is very likely you'll be enjoying a fish that was caught in the last day or so within a few miles of where you're sitting.
With the variety of restaurants in the Keys, you can expect to eat a great meal for under $20 if you select carefully. You can also spend well over $100 for a great meal. The listings in this book concentrate on restaurants I rate from good to great. No matter the price range. The same as anywhere, some of the most visible and talked-about restaurants actually serve mediocre or even poor food, relying on atmosphere or location to keep the cash registers ringing. I like a good atmosphere, but I go out to eat primarily to feast on good chow. Any restaurant listed as an "Author's Pick" is a place I go back to with my family and friends.
The price symbols for each listing consider the average cost of main courses listed on the menu.
RESTAURANT PRICE CHART
Local Specialties
It's no surprise that the local food is what makes the best eating. Some dishes unique to the Keys simply must be tried at least once during your visit.
Conch fritters and chowder are popular. Conchs have a large, spiral-shaped shell. In the old days, these shellfish were a staple in the regional diet and locals became known as "conchs." Conch chowders are usually milk-based.
LOCAL LINGO: Be sure to pronounce it "CONK" and not the way it is spelled.
Mahi (or sometimes mahi-mahi) is the fish formerly known as "dolphin" or dorado in Spanish. When the TV character Flipper educated the public that what had been called a "porpoise" was more properly referred to as a "dolphin," restaurant owners found the eating public confused. Often, they refused to eat the fish, and so the name was changed to mahi. The fish is almost always served filleted and has a flaky texture and slightly sweet taste.
Grouper appears in sandwiches with cheese, lettuce, tomato and tartar sauce and is usually served filleted. The fillets are chunky and the flakes of flesh prominent. The best grouper sandwiches are messy affairs, their quality being judged by the level of messiness. If you find juice dripping off your elbow while eating a grouper sandwich, you are probably eating one of the best.
You don't find yellowtail served many places besides the Keys and South Florida. A member of the snapper family, yellowtails don't get very big and are therefore often served whole. This is one of the best eating fish in the Keys.
Steamed shrimp served peel-and-eat style, either hot or cold, are a staple in every restaurant in the Keys. Key West Pinks are probably the plumpest, most flavorful kind. Expect to pay anywhere from $15 on up to $25 for a half-pound of these puppies. If you find an all-you-can-eat deal or a pound for around $20, gorge yourself. Shrimp cocktails here are like those found anywhere else - four jumbo-size shrimp with cocktail sauce that somehow leaves you feeling that you came up short on the deal.
Stone crabs are unlike any other type of crab. They are caught locally in traps and only one of the huge claws is taken off before the crab is dropped back into the water. The crabs grow a replacement claw and, with one claw for protection while they rejuvenate, they can be harvested again year after year. Once in a while you can find an all-you-can-eat stone crab deal. Ballyhoo's has such a deal in season for a mere $35. The same meal will cost you well over $50 in Miami.
Key lime pie is known the world over for its tangy lime flavor. Key limes are very small with a yellow skin and, although they did not originate in the Keys, can now be found all over Florida and even in the Kroger's near my house in Tennessee. Almost every restaurant claims their pie has been voted "the best Key lime pie in the Keys." There are a few styles and aficionados are ferocious about supporting one or other of the preparation techniques. The pies come with or without meringue, with or without either whipped cream or "dairy topping" and either frozen (ice-box style) or simply cool. They can be made with egg yolks, flour or corn starch and almost always involve a secret ingredient. My preference is for the icebox style with no toppings, a form that is getting harder to find.
Cuban Influence
As in most of South Florida, Cuban-American restaurants and Cuban-influenced cooking can be found everywhere in the Keys. Although food in Cuba itself is sadly lacking in interest and often bland, Cuban-American food, as I call it, is brilliant, tasty and usually cheap. I mention a few good Cuban eateries in this book and you should not pass them up. Don't miss the wonderful Cuban coffee served strong and black, something like espresso, or con leche, with hot milk. Every time I drive through Key Largo I have to stop at Denny's Latin Café for a cup of this Cuban nectar.
The Blackened Truth
Blackened fish (or chicken) was originally a Cajun specialty prepared by heavily coating the fish with spices and then "blackening" it by tossing it for a few moments onto a red-hot skillet. The fish cooks very quickly and the spices burn a bit, creating a black coating. Red-hot skillets are difficult to work with, so nowadays real blackened food is almost unheard of. Restaurant kitchen preparation of blackened food now consists of simply pouring a big pile of black pepper and Cajun spices over the fish before cooking it in traditional ways. You can buy "black" spice powder of varying quality in almost any supermarket. For reasons I have never been able to figure out other than perhaps greed, some restaurants charge $1 extra for this treatment.
Many people fear Cuban food will be too spicy for their palate, but Cuban food is relatively bland, served with a bottle of Louisiana hot sauce on the side. In Cuba these days, hot peppers are almost unknown, and even a pepper shaker is a rarity. Spices don't go much further than lime juice and a little salt. Cuban food in the US may include a little saffron to make the rice yellow.
Fine Dining
Although most of the tourist restaurants claim to offer fine dining and charge accordingly, a few places exist where talented chefs push the boundaries and offer truly wonderful fusions of local ingredients and continental or Asian traditions. Linen napkins and candles do not tell the whole story. You'll find my recommendations of the best places listed in the Where to Eat sections of each regional chapter.
One of the nice things about a visit to the Keys is the opportunity to hear live music. Strolling around the entertainment areas of Key West you can listen to a wide variety of musical styles. While the Jimmy Buffet-influenced Caribbean sound is a little too common for my taste, blues, rock, folk and occasional jazz can be found. The unfortunate effects of karaoke and DJs are felt perhaps a little less here than in other parts of the country. Live music is provided in many clubs, bars and restaurants up and down the Keys. The Hurricane in Marathon and the Geiger Key Smokehouse, next to Big Coppitt Key, are oases of live music. Noted entertainers include Big Dick and the Extenders (quite good in spite of their unfortunate name), Alfonso (known as "Fonz"), the Charlie Morris Blues Band (led by my brother), and Barry Cuda (also with an unfortunate name, but very good).
Although good live music can be found in the Keys, economic reality is that few groups are paid more than $100 per man per night, and it is a rare hotel in Key West that charges much less than $100 per night. Entertainers interested in actually making a living tend to avoid the area, so many bars hire fairly inexperienced or desperate acts. One notable exception in Key West is Sloppy Joe's. Sloppy's does a bustling business and can afford to hire good musicians. Pete & Wayne, although not noted for musical excellence, are regulars there and they are, without a doubt, the premier act in the Keys. Also check out the Green Parrot, where local musicians go after work for reliably good sounds.
The Keys and the Everglades have been attracting adventurers and nonconformists since the area was first settled. It continues to be a haven for the counterculture and those whose chosen lifestyles may not be completely suitable for conservative middle America. As a visitor, be prepared to be surprised, shocked and even titillated by how the locals and other visitors comport themselves. Many people come here to live a quiet life in the warm climate enjoying the proximity of the sea. Others come to party, flaunt themselves in front of like-minded crowds dancing to a Caribbean beat or simply watch as others stretch the "anything goes" atmosphere to the limits. If public nudity and public drinking offend you, avoid Key West during its notorious partying events like Fantasy Fest.
Few places in the US are as tolerant of gay lifestyles as Key West. The town attracts permanent residents and visitors who appreciate non-traditional lifestyles. Gays and straights get along famously in the Keys. Many hotels, bars, restaurants and entertainment establishments welcome all, whatever their sexual proclivities. Others try to limit their patrons to one particular lifestyle; gay-only and lesbian-only venues exist, and many bars and entertainment spots are aimed at particular sexual orientations. Enjoy the show. You might learn something.
Gay or lesbian visitors may want to contact the Gay & Lesbian Community Center, 513 Truman Avenue, tel. 305-292-3223, www.glcckeywest.org.
There are no remnants of pre-Columbian people left in Florida. Near Everglades National Park, Seminole Indians, a tribe that moved to the area well after Columbus passed nearby, has settlements.
As is true throughout the state, the Keys have attracted retirees from all over the US and other countries. They come for the warm weather, fabulous outdoor life, modern shopping centers and the proximity of advanced medical care. Due to high demand for limited real estate, the Keys are rated Florida's most expensive place to live. Small, rundown mobile homes on tiny lots away from the water sell for upwards of $150,000. However, neighborhoods near Everglades National Park, such as Homestead, offer much more economical housing choices, along with the proximity of the Keys, the park and the delights of nearby Miami.
Florida Keys natives are known as "Conchs" after the mollusk that was their culinary staple during early settler times. Conchs are proud of their culture and defend it. They tend to be friendly and welcoming to the tourists who are providing a living for many year-round residents. They have a unique Southern accent that reminds me of the thick drawl of North Carolina. But Conchs are a definite minority and sometimes feel put upon by the hoards of tourists who flood the area. Some feel the influx of big money investors have displaced them from their rightful place in business and commerce.
Tourism is by far the largest industry in the area and provides jobs for or influences the prosperity of almost all area residents. The population of Key West doubles or triples during special events, and when a couple of cruise ships are in town, Key West bursts at the seams with camera-wielding, fanny pack-wearing, water bottle-clutching tourists. Hey, it's a tourist town, but a great one.
Many of the area's natural attractions are offshore or way back in the mangroves and are relatively unaffected by the tourist traffic. But some areas are shopworn due to the heavy tramp of tourist feet. The Keys and Everglades remain delicate and the excesses of tourism could still spoil them.