Monster
For mum
In memory of Emma Bailey
(May 1983–May 2007)
Jacob Murray, Jo Combes, Sarah Frankham, Braham Murray, Greg Hersov and everyone else at the Royal Exchange, thank you for your encouragement and support. Bruntwood, and the competition readers, judges and presenters: Chris Smith, Brenda Blethyn, Kwame Kwei-Armah, Nicholas Hytner, Michael Oglesby, Ben Keaton, Kathy Burke, Tom Courtenay, Susannah Harker, Maxine Peake, Pete Postlethwaite, Roy Williams.
Clare Lizzimore, Simon Stephens, Leo Buder, Ola Animashawun, Nina Lyndon, Lucy Dunkerly, Laura McCluskey, Emily McLaughlin, Pippa Ellis, Roxana Silbert, George Perin, Nina Steiger, Max Stafford-Clark, Chris Campbell, Ben Jancovic, Dawn Walton, Rachael Stevens, Steve Waters, Kate Pakenham, Sonja Linden, Sarah Woods, Levi Addai, Lyndsey Turner, Jenny Maddox, Amy Rosenthal, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Jamie Cullum, Bola Agbaje, Mike Harris, Kate Harris, Mike Bartlett, Nick Gill, Morgan Lloyd Malcolm, Simon Vinnicombe, Rachel Wagstaff, Jessica Cooper, Jessica Sarbo, Effie Woods, my family.
Duncan was supported in writing this play by the Peggy Ramsay Foundation.
‘The monster a child knows best and is most concerned with [is] the monster he feels or fears himself to be.’
– BRUNO BETTELHEIM
‘You made your children what they are […] These children that come at you with knives, they are your children. You taught them. I didn’t teach them. I just tried to help them stand up […] You can project it back at me, but I am only what lives inside each and every one of you. My father is your system […] I am only what you made me. I am a reflection of you.’
– CHARLES MANSON
TOM
DARRYL
JODI
RITA
A white room. A white table and two white chairs. They remain onstage until the final scene.
Monster won Second Prize in the Bruntwood Playwriting Competition for the Royal Exchange, part of the Manchester International Festival, and was first performed at the Royal Exchange Theatre, Manchester, on 20 June 2007, with the following cast:
TOM, Andrew French
DARRYL, Mikey North
JODI, Sarah-Louise Young
RITA, Mary Jo Randle
Director Jacob Murray
Designer Louis Price
Lighting Richard Owen
Sound Claire Windsor
Voice Mark Langley
1
Morning. School.
The sound of children running, laughing, shouting, screaming.
TOM sits at the table. He looks at his watch and straightens his tie. He sits rigidly upright, staring at the door.
,
He glances at his shoes, then back at the door.
,
He rubs one of his shoes on the back of his trousers, then leans down to look at it.
He sits back up.
,
He leans down and rubs his shoe with his sleeve.
DARRYL enters, his hooded top hanging off one shoulder, underneath which he wears a burgundy school sweatshirt. He is chewing. He drops his bag on the floor and stares at TOM.
TOM sees him and stands.
,
TOM Darryl.
Sit down.
Sit down Darryl.
,
Alright, let’s run through some rules.
First, and most important, is that you get here on time for the lesson to begin. That means before the lesson is due to start. That way you’ll be ready to go.
Second, the bag goes on the hook.
DARRYL looks at the hook.
,
Sit down please Darryl.
I’m Tom,
TOM extends his hand for DARRYL to shake. DARRYL stares at it
I’m going to be with you for the rest of this year.
,
TOM withdraws his hand.
,
Third, there’s no eating during lessons. What are you eating?
DARRYL opens his mouth and sticks out his tongue, on which is a large blue sweet.
Bin.
Bin.
In the bin please Darryl.
,
DARRYL crunches the sweet in his mouth, then chews it slowly and swallows it, without ever taking his eyes off TOM.
Silence.
Sit down please Darryl.
Silence.
We’re not getting off to a good start here are we?
Am I going to have to call your mum?
DARRYL Don’t think so.
TOM I will.
DARRYL She’s dead init?
,
TOM I’m sorry.
DARRYL Live with my nan.
TOM Sorry Darryl.
DARRYL What you done?
TOM No, really I’m
DARRYL you ain’t done nothing.
TOM No.
DARRYL Did it herself.
,
DARRYL sits opposite TOM, leaving his bag where it is.
,
TOM Darryl, do you understand why you’ve been taken out of lessons?
Darryl?
,
DARRYL Yes.
TOM Why?
DARRYL ‘Cause Head of Year’s a bitch init?
TOM No.
DARRYL Beyatch.
TOM No.
DARRYL Wants a smack.
TOM Darryl
DARRYL Godzilla.
TOM Now,
DARRYL she come up in here now I’d box her down. I’d be like, ‘hey, Miss, man, eat this bitch’ and she’d be like ‘noooo’ and I’d like ‘booosch!’ like that thing that thing have you seen it, that thing that video mobile
TOM Darryl,
DARRYL that ‘Happy Slappers’.
TOM Darryl we don’t refer to it as that in this school.
DARRYL It’s wicked.
TOM What do we refer to it as?
DARRYL Fucking excellent.
TOM Common assault.
DARRYL Oh yeah, yeah. Common assault yeah. Video the common assault on your mobile and send it everyone. It’s slammin’.
TOM Darryl, three students have been excluded this year for
DARRYL there’s this one, yeah, where they get this girl in a headlock, yeah, they hold her so she can’t move and then ‘bout ten a these guys
TOM I don’t want to hear about that Darryl. I’m not impressed by that.
DARRYL I got Saddam. What’s your number? I’ll text it you.
TOM Will you put that away?
DARRYL You got Bluetooth?
TOM Put your phone away.
DARRYL Have you though?
TOM Sit properly please Darryl.
DARRYL Bet you got an old dinosaur phone init? Big cream-coloured brick with antennae and shit.
TOM Sit on your chair properly please.
DARRYL Like your crepes init?
TOM My what?
DARRYL Your shoes.
,
TOM What about my shoes?
DARRYL They’re shit.
Sorry, but they is.
They’re wack.
You gived them an ikkle bit a scrub and t’ing, polish dem up an’ that. But dey still cheap init? Laces don’t match. New laces. Old shoes. You had dem for time.
TOM You’re very observant Darryl.
DARRYL True dat. Keep my eyes open init?
TOM I’m impressed.
DARRYL Can I axe you a question?
TOM Darryl,
DARRYL can I though?
TOM No. Not right now.
DARRYL Gosh man. Just want to arks a question init?
,
TOM sits down.
TOM What do you want to know?
DARRYL What would you do, yeah, if you were on a plane and someone was like ‘you’re all gonna die, I’m gonna fly this bitch into a wall’?
TOM Darryl, why don’t we look at the
DARRYL would you be scared?
TOM Darryl, come on let’s
DARRYL would you though? I bet you would.
I bet you’d shit yourself.
TOM Darryl, alright, listen,
DARRYL did you go to this school?
TOM No, I
I went to school in Surrey.
DARRYL Is it?
TOM Yes.
DARRYL Why?
DARRYL has taken a lighter from his pocket.
TOM Because that’s where I lived.
Will you sit on your chair properly Darryl?
DARRYL Well posh init?
Surrey?
TOM Not really.
DARRYL ignites the lighter.
Darryl give me that. You know the rules.
DARRYL runs a finger through the flame.
DARRYL Can I axe you a question?
TOM Give that to me. Now.
DARRYL Why?
TOM Because of fire regulations.
DARRYL I’m not gonna burn the school down.
TOM Just give it to me please.
,
DARRYL Alright.
DARRYL pushes the lighter across the table.
TOM reaches over, takes it and puts it in his pocket.
,
TOM Tell me how you feel your lessons have been going. How about History?
DARRYL Can I axe you a question?
TOM If you do some work you can ask all the questions you want.
DARRYL Can I?
TOM Absolutely.
DARRYL Can I axe you one now though?
TOM Work first.
DARRYL But it’s important.
TOM Is it?
DARRYL Yeah. I really think I should be allowed to arks it.,
,
TOM Well, I’m sorry, you’ll have to do a little bit of reading for me first. And stop picking your teeth.
DARRYL But I won’t be able to do anything ‘til I’ve axed my question. Believe. Can’t concentrate, you get me?
TOM Where’s your History book?
DARRYL I’m serious.
TOM So am I.
,
DARRYL What would happen, yeah, if
TOM Darryl, I’m not answering any questions until
DARRYL this is about History. TOM Is it?
DARRYL Yes man, Sir. ‘Bout the stuff we’ve been doing in History bruv.
TOM Darryl,
DARRYL it’s historical.
His-tor-i-cal.
,
TOM Go on.
,
DARRYL What would happen, yeah, if
I mean, what would you do, yeah
what if you
TOM if you don’t have a question then
DARRYL I do man, chillax. I’m phrasing it, yeah?
Gosh.
,
What if, yeah
if you, like, woke up one day and both your legs had been blown off what would you do?
’Cause in History this guy was in his house and a bomb landed boom! Right on his house, yeah, and he woke up and he didn’t have any legs.
,
TOM What’s your question?
DARRYL Are you deaf?
TOM No.
DARRYL Do you have a hearing problem though?
TOM Darryl, I just didn’t understand your question.
DARRYL Didn’t understand.
TOM No.
DARRYL Wasn’t clear enough for you is it?
TOM That’s right.
DARRYL Question was, yeah,
listen up Surrey.
What would you do
if you woke up without legs?
,
TOM What would you do?
DARRYL I don’t know
It’d be well bad.
TOM Do you know why the war began? How it started?
DARRYL Whose fault?
TOM Yes.
DARRYL Blame game.
TOM If you like.