reading

Print ISBN 978-1-63409-218-0

eBook Editions:
Adobe Digital Edition (.epub) 978-1-60742-570-0
Kindle and MobiPocket Edition (.prc) 978-1-60742-571-7

All scripture quotations are taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

All Pennsylvania Dutch words are taken from the Revised Pennsylvania German Dictionary found in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania.

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any similarity to actual people, organizations, and/or events is purely coincidental.

Cover design: Müllerhaus Publishing Arts, Inc.
www.mullerhaus.net

Published by Barbour Books, an imprint of Barbour Publishing,
Inc., P.O. Box 719, Uhrichsville, Ohio 44683,
www.barbourbooks.com

Our mission is to publish and distribute inspirational products offering exceptional value and biblical encouragement to the masses.

Printed in the United States of America.

To Arie, Sue, Betty, and Ada Nancy—four special women who have taught Amish children.

Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.

Prologue

Jim cringed when he thought of all the times he had reneged on a promise he’d made to his wife. “What do you want me to promise, Linda?”

“Would you see that….” Her voice faltered. “I … I want to be sure Jimmy continues to go to church—after I’m gone. Will you take him?”

“I’m glad we adopted Jimmy. He’s brought such joy into my life.” Linda fingered the edge of the Amish quilt tucked around her frail form. “I … I know we agreed not to tell him that he’s adopted while he’s too young to understand.” She paused. “But I want you to tell him about the adoption when he’s older. He needs to know the truth. It … it wouldn’t be right to keep it from him.”

“I promise I won’t.” Jim gritted his teeth. Should I tell her the details of Jimmy’s adoption? Would it be wrong to let Linda die without revealing the truth? He buried his head in his hands. It would be cruel to tell her what I did when I know she’s dying. The news in itself might kill her, and it would certainly add to her agony. And for what purpose? Just to ease my guilty conscience? I did what I did because I loved her and wanted to give her a child, so I can’t let her die with the truth of my betrayal on her mind.

He lifted his head and reached for her hand. “I will tell Jimmy about his adoption when I think he’s old enough.”

“Thank you.” Tears matted Linda’s lashes, speckling her pale cheeks. “I love you and Jimmy so much, and … and I pray you’ll find comfort in knowing that I’m going home soon … to be with my Lord.”

Jim gave a brief nod. The motion was all he could manage. He knew Linda believed in God and thought she would go to heaven, but he’d never been sure about all that religious mumbo jumbo. He only went to church when he felt forced to go—whenever Jimmy was in some special program. Even then, he always felt uncomfortable. Linda had said many times that she thought God had an answer for everything. But where was God when Linda had been diagnosed with breast cancer five years ago? And where was God when the cancer came back and spread quickly throughout her body?

Linda drew in a raspy breath. “Will you and Jimmy be able to manage on your own … after I’m gone?”

Jim groaned. He didn’t need these reminders that she was dying or that their son would be left with only one parent. “We’ll get along. I’ll raise him the best I can.”

He leaned over and kissed her cheek. If it were within my power, I would move heaven and earth to keep you from dying.

Chapter 1

Tears welled in Leona Weaver’s eyes as she glanced around the one-room schoolhouse where she’d been teaching the last four years. Her days of teaching would have been over in two weeks, when the school year ended. The school board would have then selected a new teacher to take Leona’s place in the fall, due to her plans to marry.

“But that won’t be happening now,” she murmured. “I’ll be teaching in the fall again—not getting married.”

Leona closed her eyes as she relived the shocking moment when she had been told that Ezra Yoder, the man she was supposed to marry, had been kicked in the head while shoeing a horse and had died.

“You seem kind of naerfich. Is there something wrong to make you so nervous?”

Papa pulled in a deep breath as he motioned for Leona to take a seat on the sofa. “There’s been an accident, daughter. Ezra is—”

He nodded soberly. “I’m sorry to be the one havin’ to tell you this, but Ezra is dead.”

Dead. Ezra is dead. Leona sank to the sofa as her daed’s words echoed in her mind.

Papa took a seat beside her, and Mom, who’d just come into the room, did the same.

“How did it happen, Jacob?” Mom asked, reaching over to take Leona’s hand.

“Ezra was shoeing a skittish horse and got kicked in the head. His brother Mose saw it happen.”

The tightness in Leona’s chest interfered with her ability to breathe. “Ezra can’t be dead. I just spoke to him last night. We were making plans for our wedding, and …” Her voice trailed off, and she gulped on a sob.

Papa kept his head down, obviously unable to meet her gaze. “ ‘The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away.’ It must have been Ezra’s time to go.”

Her daed’s last words resounded in Leona’s head. “ ‘The Lord hath taken away.’ It must have been Ezra’s time to go.” She gripped the edge of the sofa and squeezed her eyes shut. No, no, it can’t be! I love Ezra. Ezra loves me. We are going to be married in the fall!

“You’ll get through this, daughter. With the help of your family and friends, God will see you through.”

As the reality of the situation began to fully register, Leona’s body trembled. “ ‘The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away,’ ” she murmured. “Never again will I allow myself to fall in love with another man.”

Bringing her thoughts back to the present, Leona pushed her chair away from her desk and stood. She saw no point in grieving over what couldn’t be changed. Ezra had been gone for almost three months, and he wouldn’t be coming back. Leona would never become a wife or mother. She must now accept a new calling, a new purpose for living, a new sense of mission. She would give all her efforts to being the best schoolteacher she could be.

“Maybe a few minutes in the fresh spring air might clear my head before it’s time to call the scholars into the schoolhouse from their morning recess,” she murmured. “Maybe I’ll even join their game of baseball.”

As a young girl, Leona had always enjoyed playing ball. Even now, with her twenty-fourth birthday just a few months away, she could still outrun most of her pupils and catch a fly ball with little effort.

She opened the door, stepped onto the porch, and hurried across the lawn. She stepped up to home plate just as Silas, Matthew Fisher’s ten-year-old boy, dropped his bat and darted for first base. Sprinting like a buggy horse given the signal to trot, Silas’s feet skimmed the base, and he kept on running. His teammates cheered, and the opposing team booed as the boy made his way around the bases.

When Naomi Hoffmeir’s eleven-year-old son, Josh, nearly tagged Silas with the ball, the exuberant child ducked and slid into third base. Sweat rolled down the boy’s forehead as he huffed and puffed, but his smile stretched ear to ear.

“It’s my turn,” Leona called to Emanuel Lapp, the pitcher. She grabbed the bat, bent her knees slightly, and planted both feet with toes pointing outward. “Get ready, Silas, ’cause I’m bringing you home!”

Leona glanced at Fern, her older brother’s eleven-year-old daughter. Several wisps of the girl’s golden blond hair had come loose from her white kapp, and it curled around her ears. She reminds me so much of her daed, Leona thought. Ever since Arthur started working for Papa, he’s always said exactly what he thinks. Truth be told, Arthur probably can’t wait for Papa to retire from painting so he can take over the business.

Fern lifted her hand in a wave, and Leona waved back. She’s so sweet. I’d hoped to have a child like her someday.

Her thoughts went to Ezra again. But there will be no kinner for me. Ezra’s gone, and I’ll never know what our children would have looked like. I’ll never….”

Forcing her thoughts back to the game, Leona gripped the bat and readied herself for Emanuel’s first pitch. She knew the twelve-year-old had a steady hand and could throw straight as an arrow. He was also known to pitch a good curve ball, which she would have to watch out for. If the Amish schoolteacher got anything less than a good hit, she would never live it down. Keep your eye on the ball, she reminded herself. Don’t give Emanuel an edge, and don’t think about anything except playing this game.

The pitch came fast and hard, but it was too far to the right. Leona didn’t swing.

“Ball one!” Harley Fisher hollered from the place where he crouched behind her, ready to catch the ball.

She shifted uneasily as her metal-framed glasses slipped to the middle of her nose. She mostly needed them for reading or close-up work and should have left them on her desk. But it was too late to worry about that. She had a ball to hit.

Leona took one hand off the bat and pushed her glasses back in place. Whish! The ball came quickly, catching her off guard.

Leona pursed her lips in concentration. If I hadn’t tried to right my glasses, I could have hit that one. Might have planted it clear out in left field.

Setting her jaw as firmly as her determination, she gripped the bat tighter, resolved to smack the next one over the fielders’ heads and bring Silas home.

Leona’s gaze darted quickly to the left. When she saw it was only a skirmish over the swings, she turned back. But before she could react, the oncoming sphere of white hit her full in the face, sending her glasses flying and causing her vision to blur. She swallowed as a metallic taste filled her mouth. When she cupped her hand over her throbbing nose, warm blood oozed between her fingers. The ground swayed beneath her feet, and the last thing Leona remembered was someone calling her name.

“How come you wanted to go out for lunch instead of dinner tonight?” Jimmy Scott asked his dad. They had taken seats in front of the window at a restaurant overlooking Commencement Bay and given the waitress their orders.

“I thought it would be easier to get a table with a view of the water when they aren’t so busy.” Jimmy’s dad ran his fingers through his dark hair, which over the last couple of years had become sprinkled with gray. “Maybe after lunch we can take a ride to Point Defiance Park, or would you rather do something else to celebrate your birthday?”

Jimmy chuckled. “I won’t turn twenty-one until Sunday, Dad. I had hoped the two of us could attend church together and then maybe play a round of golf in the afternoon.”

His dad’s dark eyebrows furrowed, causing the wrinkles in his forehead to become more pronounced. “I planned it so we could take today off, figuring you’d want to spend Sunday with your friend Allen or some of the other young people from your church.”

Jimmy stared out the window as disappointment rose in his chest. Dad had never gone to church that often, not even when Mom was alive. Since her death nine years ago, all his dad had ever done was drop Jimmy off at church, and he’d even stopped attending the special holiday programs. What would it take to make the stubborn man see his need for Christ, and why hadn’t Mom been able to get through to him? She’d tried plenty of times; Jimmy had heard her almost beg Dad to accept the Lord as his Savior. But Dad always said he didn’t need church or anything God had to offer.

Jimmy studied a passing sailboat, which glided through the bay with ease and perfect rhythm. If only life could be as serene and easy to handle as a boat skimming along the water on a calm spring day. He thought about his mother’s untimely death and how sad he had been when the ravages of cancer had taken her from them. Still, it was because of Mom that I found a personal relationship with Christ. She set a Christian example, saw that I went to church every Sunday, and read me Bible stories when I was a boy. He reached for his glass of water and took a drink. At least Mom was set free of her pain, and I’m sure I’ll see her in heaven someday.

Dad’s question drove Jimmy out of his musings. “Uh … no, not really. I guess if you want to celebrate my birthday today and don’t plan to go to church with me on Sunday I’ll do something with Allen and his family.”

“That’s a good idea. I’ve got a lot of paperwork to do, and it’ll take me most of the weekend to get it finished.”

Sure, Dad, if this weekend is like so many others, you’ll probably be camped out in some bar instead of at home doing paperwork. “Yeah, okay. I understand,” Jimmy mumbled.

Dad reached across the table and handed Jimmy a small box wrapped in white tissue paper. “Happy birthday, son.”

Jimmy took the gift and tore off the wrapping paper. When he opened the lid, he discovered an expensive-looking gold watch.

“Thanks. Even though I already own a watch, it’ll be nice to have a new one I can wear when I’m not working and won’t be running the risk of getting paint all over it.” Jimmy had started working part-time for his dad when he was a teenager, and he’d continued painting after he’d graduated from high school. The only time he hadn’t worked for his dad was when he’d taken a couple of classes at the community college in Tacoma.

“The watch belonged to my father, and I thought you might like to have it,” Dad said.

Jimmy studied the heirloom. If it had been Grandpa Scott’s, then he felt proud to own it, even though he’d barely known his dad’s father. Mom’s parents came to visit often, and Jimmy’s folks had driven to Boise to see them several times over the years. But Grandma and Grandpa Scott lived in Ohio, and the only times Jimmy remembered going there was when Grandpa had been in the hospital having open-heart surgery and again five years ago when Grandpa died. Jimmy’s grandparents had come to Washington a few times for short visits, but after Grandpa’s health began to fail, their trips to the West Coast stopped; he hadn’t seen Grandma since Grandpa’s funeral.

“To your health and to many more birthdays,” Dad said, lifting his glass in a toast.

Jimmy cringed as their glasses clinked, leaving him with a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. “I wish you wouldn’t use my birthday as a reason to drink.”

“Can’t think of a better reason.” His dad gulped down the whole drink and smacked his lips. “That wasn’t the best champagne I’ve ever tasted, but it’s good for what ails you.”

Jimmy turned his gaze to the window again. There would have been harsh words on both their parts if he had reminded Dad that he drank too much or mentioned that if Mom were still alive, she would have gotten on him about ordering champagne in the middle of the day. When Jimmy was a boy, he’d known that his dad drank some, but after Mom died, it had gotten much worse. Jimmy thought his dad might be using her death as an excuse to drown his sorrows or bury the past, but he also knew the way to deal with one’s pain wasn’t found in a bottle. Dad needed the Lord.

“Oh, I almost forgot,” Dad said, halting Jimmy’s thoughts. “This came in the mail for you this morning. It has a Boise postmark on it, and I’m guessing it’s a birthday card from your grandparents.”

Jimmy reached across the table and took the envelope, stuffing it inside his jacket pocket.

“Naw. I think I’ll wait until Sunday, so I have something to open on my actual birthday.”

Abraham Fisher had just entered the barn when he heard a horse and buggy pull into the yard. He glanced through the open doorway and smiled when he recognized his friend Jacob Weaver.

“Wie geht’s?” Abraham asked, extending his hand when Jacob joined him inside the barn.

Jacob exchanged a strong handshake and grinned, causing crinkles to appear around his hazel-colored eyes. “I can’t complain. How are you this warm April afternoon?”

Abraham nodded toward the bales of straw piled along one side of the barn. “I was about to clean the horses’ stalls and spread some of that on the floor.”

“Norman, Jake, and Samuel went home to their families for the day, and I sent the twins inside to wash up.” Abraham shook his head. “Titus pulled one of his pranks, and he and Timothy ended up with manure all over their clothes.”

“Phew! Sure am glad I missed seeing those two.” Jacob removed his straw hat and fanned his face with the brim. “Can we sit and talk a spell, or would ya rather work while we gab?”

Abraham gave his nearly gray beard a quick pull. “Me and the buwe worked hard in the fields all morning, so I think I deserve a little break.” He motioned to a couple of wooden barrels. “Let’s have a seat.”

Jacob sat down and groaned. “You oughta get some padding for these if you’re gonna keep using ’em for chairs.”

Abraham snickered. “Jah, well, if I got too comfortable out here in the barn, I might not appreciate my old rockin’ chair in the house.”

“How come you’re not working on some paint job this afternoon, and what brings you out our way?” Abraham asked.

“I’m headed to Bird-in-Hand to bid on a paint job for the bank there, and I thought I’d drop by to see you first.” Jacob’s fingers traced the side of his prominent nose. “I know today is Zach’s twenty-first birthday, and I figured you might be feeling kind of down.”

Abraham leaned his head against the wooden planks behind him. It always amazed him how Jacob seemed to know when he needed to talk, and his friend’s memory for dates was even more astonishing. Ever since Abraham had known Jacob Weaver, he’d been impressed by the man’s wisdom and ability to offer godly counsel. When Jacob had been chosen as their new bishop some fourteen years ago, he’d become even more knowledgeable and helpful during times of need. Everyone in the community seemed to admire, respect, and appreciate the way Bishop Jacob Weaver led his flock.

“You’re right,” Abraham admitted. “I did feel a pang of regret when I got up this morning and looked at the calendar.” He drew in a deep breath and sighed. “For many years, I prayed that my son would be returned to us, but after a time, I came to accept the fact that Zach’s not comin’ home. Even though I don’t talk about him much anymore, I’ve never forgotten my boy or quit praying that God would protect Zach and use his life for good.”

Jacob reached over and touched Abraham’s arm. “I’ve prayed for your missing son all these many years, too.”

“Jah, I know.” Abraham cleared his throat. “Truth is even if Zach were to come home now, he wouldn’t know us, and we wouldn’t know him. We’d be like strangers.” He gave his beard another good tug. “Just wish I knew how he was gettin’ along out there in the English world. It would have helped if we’d have gotten more than one message in The Budget from the man who stole Zach—something that would have let us know he was still doin’ all right.”

“You must remember that God’s ways are not our ways. He has His hand on Zach,” Jacob reminded.

“I realize that, and rather than dwelling on what can’t be changed, some time ago I made up my mind to get on with the business of livin’ and enjoy the family I have right now.”

“That’s good thinking.” Jacob thumped Abraham on the back and stood. “Guess I should be on my way.”

Abraham walked his friend out to his buggy, and Jacob was about to climb in when another horse and buggy rolled into the yard. Abraham’s grandson Harley was the driver, and as soon as the horse came to a stop, he jumped down from the buggy and dashed over to the men.

“What are you doin’ out of school?” Abraham asked, placing his hand on the boy’s shoulder.

Rivulets of sweat trickled off Harley’s forehead and onto his flushed cheeks. “I went by Jacob’s place, but nobody was at home, so I decided to come over here, hopin’ you might know where Jacob was.”

“It–it’s Leona,” the boy panted. “She got hit with a baseball and has been taken to the hospital.”

Chapter 2

Leona forced one eye open and blinked against the invading light that threatened to blind her. The other eye wouldn’t cooperate. It felt as though it were glued shut. She tried to sit up, but the blurry-looking, middle-aged English woman dressed in a white uniform laid a gentle hand on Leona’s shoulder.

“Wh–where am I?” Leona rasped in a nasal tone. Her nose seemed to be plugged, and she needed to open her mouth to breathe.

“You’re in Lancaster General Hospital. You were brought here a few hours ago.”

Leona pushed against the pillow as memories rose to the surface. She’d gone outside during afternoon recess, hoping to clear her mind of the painful memories concerning Ezra’s death, and had planned to play ball with her students. She remembered Silas standing on third base, and it had been her intention to hit a good ball and bring him on home. Someone had called her name, and she had looked away. Then …

“Your nose is broken, one eye is swollen shut, and you have a slight concussion,” the nurse replied. “You were unconscious when the ambulance brought you to the hospital, and you were moved to this room after your injuries were diagnosed and treated. The doctor wants to keep you overnight for observation.”

Leona squinted her one good eye and tried to focus. “My glasses. Wh–where are my glasses?”

“I’ve not seen any glasses,” the nurse replied. “I suspect they were broken when the ball hit your face.”

Leona groaned. “I need them in order to teach. I don’t see well enough to read without them.”

“You probably won’t be able to return to work for a few weeks, and I’m sure you’ll be able to get a new pair by then.”

“But … but school will be out for the summer soon.” Leona fought against the tears clogging her throat. “I … I must be able to teach my students.”

“I’m sure you will in due time. You’ll just need to be patient.” The nurse patted Leona’s hand. “Your folks are in the visitors’ lounge waiting to see you. Should I show them in?”

The nurse left the room, and a few minutes later, Papa’s bearded face stared down at Leona. “Ona, what’s happened to you?”

“I … I got hit in the face with a ball I should have seen coming. That’s what I get for thinking I’m still a young girl.” Despite her discomfort, Leona managed a weak smile. She always felt better whenever she and Papa were together.

Papa reached out to stroke the uninjured side of her face. “No matter how old you get to be, you’ll always be my little maedel.”

Tears sprang to Leona’s eyes. “Oh, Papa, your little girl has gone and broken her glasses, and I can’t possibly teach school without ’em.”

“One of your students found them in the dirt, but they were busted up pretty bad,” Leona’s mother said as she stepped up to the bed.

“I knew it.” Leona sniffed, then winced as a sharp pain shot through her nose. “There’s only a few weeks till summer break, and—”

Leona shook her head, ignoring the pain radiating from her forehead all the way down to her chin. “I’ll be all right in a few days. I’ll need new glasses, though.”

Papa clicked his tongue. “If you could see how swollen your nose and left eye are right now, you’d realize you’re not gonna be wearin’ your glasses for some time yet.” He reached for her hand and gently squeezed her fingers. “The best thing you can do is rest and allow your body to heal. The school board will find someone to fill in for the rest of the year.”

Leona shook her head again, but a jolt of pain shot through her nose, and she winced. “I must teach, Papa. It’s all I have left now that Ezra’s gone.”

“Oh, Leona, don’t say that.” Mom patted Leona’s arm. “One of these days, the pain of losin’ Ezra will lessen, and then—”

Leona shook her head again, this time more slowly. “Nee. I just want to teach my students. They are all I have now.”

This has not been a good day. Not a good day at all, Naomi Hoffmeir thought as she stood in front of her propane cookstove, preparing to cook her family’s supper. First thing this morning, Kevin, her youngest, had spilled syrup all over his clean trousers. Then Millie fussed and fretted because she wanted to accompany her parents and older sisters to the store rather than stay with Grandma Hoffmeir for the day. Next, a tour bus unloaded a bunch of Englishers in front of their general store, and Naomi, Caleb, and their two oldest girls had been bombarded with a whole lot of questions. Even Naomi’s sister-in-law, Abby, who ran the quilt shop next door, had been busy all morning with the curious tourists. Around one o’clock when Naomi had finally taken the time to eat lunch, she’d glanced at the calendar and realized that today was Zach’s twenty-first birthday. For twenty years, her little brother had been missing, and her heart still ached whenever she thought of him.

Hardly a day’s gone by that I haven’t said a prayer for my missing bruder, she thought ruefully. Is he happy and doing well among the English? Does he have a job? A girlfriend? Could he even be married by now? Of one thing Naomi felt sure: If God had seen fit to return Zach to them, He would have already done so. Papa and all Zach’s siblings had moved on with their lives, and she was sure Zach didn’t know any of them even existed. How could he? He’d only been a year old when a stranger snatched him from their yard. And it wasn’t likely that the kidnapper had told Zach about them.

Naomi turned from the stove to greet her two sons, who had just rushed into the kitchen, faces flushed and eyes wide open. It appeared as if they had run all the way home from school. “Have a seat and tell me what happened,” she said.

“That’s right,” his older brother, Josh, agreed. “Emanuel Lapp was pitchin’, and he smacked her right in the naas.”

“You should’ve seen it, Mama,” Nate said, his dark eyes looking ever so serious. “Never knew a person’s naas could bleed so much.”

Naomi sat down across from the boys. “I’m sorry to hear about Leona. I hope she wasn’t hurt too bad.”

Josh’s blond head bobbed up and down. “Teacher passed out. One of the Englishers who lives near the school called 911, and Leona had to be taken to the hospital in an ambulance.”

Nate nodded in response. “Mama, it will be terrible for all of us if Teacher isn’t in school tomorrow.”

“From the sounds of it, she’s not likely to be there, but we’ll have to wait and see. In the meantime, we need to pray for her.”

“Can we have some cookies and milk?” Josh asked abruptly. “I’m starvin’!”

“Sure. You can get the milk from the refrigerator while Nate brings some glasses from the cupboard.” Naomi stood. “I’ll run upstairs and get Kevin and Millie. I’m sure they’d like a snack, too.”

“I hope you don’t mind if I’m not here for dinner tonight,” Jimmy said as he and Jim entered the house through the garage entrance. “Allen called earlier and asked if I’d like to go bowling. We’ll probably grab a hot dog or something at the snack bar there.”

Jim shrugged. “Not a problem. I’m still full from that huge platter of oysters and shrimp I wolfed down during lunch.”

“Yeah, I can relate. I ate more than my share of fish and chips.” Jimmy hung his jacket on the coat tree in the hallway. “Sure am glad I didn’t grow up anywhere but here in the Pacific Northwest. Everyone I know says we’ve got the best fish around.”

“I guess I’ll head upstairs and take a shower,” Jimmy said. “I told Allen I’d meet him at six.”

“Sure, go ahead.” Jim was glad he would be home alone all evening. It would give him time to think things over and decide whether he should broach the subject of Jimmy’s adoption, as he’d promised Linda he would do when Jimmy was old enough.

An hour later, with a bowl of clam chowder and a stack of saltine crackers piled on a tray, Jim settled himself on the couch in the living room, prepared to watch TV while he ate. When Linda was alive, she would have pitched a fit if he’d wanted to eat in the living room, but she wasn’t here to tell him what to do. And since Jimmy had left to go bowling a short time ago, Jim didn’t have to answer to anyone.

“I still miss you, Linda,” he mumbled. “Even though we had our share of problems, I always loved you.”

Jim thought about the day of Linda’s funeral and how his folks had flown in from Ohio and Linda’s parents and sister had driven to Puyallup from their homes in Idaho. Both sets of parents had suggested that Jim move closer to them, saying it would be good for Jimmy to be near his grandparents. But Jim had refused their offers. Linda’s mother was a control freak, and he knew she would have tried to take over raising Jimmy. Besides, he had his painting business to consider. Jim had worked hard to establish a good relationship with the general contractors in the area, not to mention the jobs he got from individual homeowners. If he were to sell his business and move to Idaho or Ohio, it would mean having to start over, and he had no desire to do that.

A curl of steam lifted from the bowl of chowder, letting Jim know it was probably still too hot to eat. He grabbed the TV remote and pushed the ON button. Jimmy and I have done all right by ourselves since Linda died. If she could see our son now, she’d be real proud. Jimmy’s a good kid, and he’s a dependable worker. One of these days when I’m ready to retire, I hope to turn my painting business over to him.

Jim clicked through several channels, hoping to find something interesting to watch, but it was no use. All he could think about was Jimmy and the promise he’d made to Linda to tell their son the truth about his adoption.

His gaze came to rest on the photo album lying on the coffee table, and he leaned over and picked it up. Turning to the first page, he saw pictures of Jimmy during his first year with them, surrounded by little sayings and drawings Linda had made. Jimmy takes his first step. Jimmy cuts a tooth. Jimmy turns two.

He flipped a couple more pages. Jimmy’s first Christmas. Jimmy playing in the mud. Jimmy eating chocolate ice cream.

There were pictures of Jimmy on his first day at school, learning to ride a bike, helping Jim rake leaves in the backyard, running through the sprinkler, and so many others depicting the boy’s life over the twenty years he’d been with them. He’d been a happy child, always eager to please and ready to help out. For the first several years, Jimmy had been a mama’s boy, but Linda had finally let go and allowed their son the freedom to find himself.

“I guess she found herself, too,” Jim murmured. “At least she said she had after she started going to church with Beth Walters.” He set the photo album aside. Beth’s husband, Eric, had tried to befriend Jim after Linda died, but Jim didn’t want any part of a holier-than-thou religious fanatic. He had let Jimmy continue to go to church because he’d promised Linda that he would, and for a while, Jim had gone to Jimmy’s church programs, but he didn’t care to go any further with religion.

He reached for his bottle of beer and took a long drink, hoping it would help him relax.

When he’d finished the beer, he leaned against the sofa, no longer in the mood for the chowder, which had grown cold. A wave of heaviness settled on his shoulders. Maybe when we finish the paint job we’re doing on the new grocery store across town, I’ll sit Jimmy down and tell him he’s adopted. I need all my workers for that job, and I won’t take the risk of Jimmy getting upset and walking out on me before it’s done.

Chapter 3

Leona eased onto the front-porch swing and tried to relax. It had been almost a week since she’d been hit in the face, and still her nose and one eye were swollen. She had no glasses to wear, either. A new pair had been ordered, but they hadn’t come in. Even if they had, she knew she would never be able to put them on. Her nose was too sore, and there was so much inflammation.

Cinnamon, the Irish setter Leona had been given for her twelfth birthday, moved closer to the swing and laid her head in Leona’s lap. It was as if the dog knew she needed sympathy, and Leona had always found comfort in being able to tell Cinnamon her troubles. Sometimes Mom accused her of caring more for the dog than she did for people, but Leona simply liked being able to bare her soul to one who wouldn’t sit in judgment or tell her what to do.

“You know whenever I need a listening ear, don’t you, girl?” Leona patted Cinnamon’s head and situated herself against the pillow she’d positioned in one corner of the wooden swing. She missed her students—missed teaching them and preparing for the last day of school when they would have a picnic on the lawn. Leona’s friend Mary Ann Fisher had been hired to take Leona’s place for the remaining weeks of the school year. That had worked out well for Mary Ann, since Anna Beechy had passed away three weeks ago, leaving Mary Ann without her job as Anna’s maid.

“Mail’s here,” Mom said, waving a stack of envelopes as she stepped onto the porch.

“Looks like more letters from your pupils.” Mom smiled and took a seat beside Leona. “Seems they’re really missin’ you, jah?”

Leona nodded and blinked back stinging tears that threatened to spill over. She’d been weepy ever since Ezra’s death. “Will you read the letters to me?” she asked, knowing she couldn’t see well enough to read them without her glasses.

“Of course.” Mom opened the first one and announced that it was from Emanuel Lapp.

Dear Teacher Leona,

I’m sorry about the ball hitting you in the face. Maybe my brother will bring me by to see how you’re doin’ on Sunday since it’s an off-week and there won’t be any preaching.

“It wasn’t Emanuel’s fault I didn’t have enough sense to keep my eye on the ball. I should have called the kinner in from recess instead of trying to join their baseball game.”

“Accidents have a way of happening when we least expect them. We can’t stop living for fear that something bad will happen.” Mom reached over and patted Leona’s arm.

Leona groaned. “My accident was one that could have been avoided if I hadn’t been so eager to join the game.”

A horse and open buggy rolled into the yard just then, interrupting their conversation and causing Cinnamon to bark. The driver pulled up beside the barn, jumped down, and secured his horse to the hitching post. Then he sprinted for the house.

Even without clear vision, Leona could see that it was Abner Lapp, Emanuel’s older brother. Abner worked at a furniture shop in Strasburg and had been overseeing his young sibling ever since their daed had been killed in a buggy accident last winter.

“Wie geht’s, Leona?” Abner’s heavy black boots clunked noisily over the wooden planks as he stepped onto the porch. “I was on my way home from work and decided to stop and see how you’re doing. I’d meant to do it sooner, but I’ve been workin’ a lot of overtime lately.”

Cinnamon released a throaty growl, and Leona laid a firm hand on the dog’s head to let her know everything was okay. “I’m feeling a little better, although I still don’t have my glasses and my nose is pretty swollen yet.”

“Sorry to hear that.” Abner shied away from Cinnamon and took a seat in the chair beside Leona. He studied her so intently that she felt like a horse being inspected on auction day. “You’re right about your naas being swollen. Looks awful painful to me.”

Leona nodded, and when Cinnamon let out another little woof, she leaned down to pat the dog’s silky head. “It’s okay, girl.”

Abner glanced over at Leona’s mamm, and when he smiled, the corner of his mouth lifted in a slight slant. “How’re things with you, Lydia?”

“Can’t complain.” She stood and smoothed the wrinkles in her dark green dress. “I think I’ll take this mail inside and get something cold to drink. Would either of you like a glass of iced tea?”

“That sounds good to me,” Abner was quick to respond. “It’s a warm day, and somethin’ cold would feel mighty good on my parched tongue.”

“All right then.” The screen door squeaked as Mom stepped into the house. Cinnamon flopped onto the porch beneath Leona’s feet.

Abner removed his straw hat and placed it over one knee. Then he lifted his hand to run long fingers through the back of his thick brown hair. “I feel real bad about my brother hittin’ you in the naas. Was he foolin’ around with the ball? ’Cause if he was, I’ll see that he’s punished.”

“Nee. He wasn’t fooling around. I just wasn’t paying close enough attention, that’s all.”

“That’s good to hear. I mean, the part about Emanuel not foolin’ around.” Abner’s clear blue eyes clouded over as he slowly shook his head. “Ever since Pop died, Emanuel’s sure been a handful.”

Leona nodded. “His grades were down for a while, too, but he’s been doing better lately.”

They sat in silence, Leona rocking back and forth in the swing, and Abner fanning his face with the brim of his hat and tapping his boot in rhythm with each forward motion of the swing. “You … uh … think you’ll be goin’ back to teaching soon?” he finally asked.

Leona touched the bridge of her nose and cringed when her fingers made contact with the tender, bruised flesh. “Well, I’m hoping….” She let her words trail when her mamm stepped onto the porch with two glasses of iced tea.

“Here you go.” Leona’s mamm handed one to Abner and one to Leona then turned back toward the house.

Leona wished Mom would stay on the porch. Being alone with Abner or any other single man made her feel about as comfortable as a hen setting on a pile of rocks. She hoped he would gulp down his tea and head for home soon.

“You done messing with pictures?” Jim asked when Jimmy entered the living room.

Jim yawned. They’d gotten off work early this afternoon, thanks to an unexpected rainstorm that had wreaked havoc with the outside paint job they’d been doing on the Save-U-More grocery store. He and Jimmy had eaten a late lunch, and while Jim spent the rest of the afternoon reclining on the couch with a bag of pretzels and a couple of beers, Jimmy had hidden out in his darkroom downstairs. It made no sense that the kid would want to mess around with an antiquated camera and a bunch of chemicals to develop pictures when he could snap some decent-looking shots with a digital camera and print them off on his computer.

Jimmy took a seat in the rocking chair across from Jim. It had been Linda’s favorite chair, and Jim remembered all the nights she had rocked Jimmy to sleep when he was little.

His heart twisted as he thought about the lullabies she used to sing to their son. When he closed his eyes, he could almost smell her rose-scented perfume and feel the softness of her long blond hair between his fingers. I should have been a better husband. Should have spent more time with her and Jimmy.

In the nine years since Linda had been gone, Jim had only gone out with a couple of women, and those had just been casual dates. His mother had mentioned once that she thought Jimmy needed a mother, but Jim didn’t see it that way. It would have been stupid to get married again just so Jimmy could have a new mom. No one could ever love the boy the way Linda had.

“Yep. Nine long years.” Jim sat up and reached for a freshly opened bottle of beer and took a long swig.

At the same time, Jimmy reached for the newspaper lying on the coffee table between them. “Wonder if there’s anything good playing at the movies this week,” he said. “Allen wants me to go on a double date with him and Sandy on Friday night.”

“Speaking of Allen, what’d the two of you do on Sunday to celebrate your birthday?”

“Nothing spectacular. After church, I went over to his house, and his mom fixed my favorite meal—stuffed cabbage rolls and mashed potatoes. And of course Beth had baked me a birthday cake.”

Jim grimaced. “Ugh. I hate cabbage rolls.” He took another swallow of beer. “Doesn’t sound like a very exciting day to me.”

“It was quiet but nice. I always enjoy spending time with Allen’s family.”

“So what was in that birthday card your grandparents sent? Did they give you a hundred dollars like last year?”

“Oh man!” Jimmy jumped up and dashed over to the coat tree near the front door. “I put that envelope you gave me in my jacket pocket when we had lunch last Friday, and I forgot all about it.”

Once Jimmy was seated in the rocker again, he ripped the envelope open. It was a birthday card all right—with a sailboat on the front and a check for a hundred dollars. There was also a smaller envelope tucked inside, and Grandma had scribbled a note to Jimmy on the bottom of the card, explaining that the note had been written by his mother and that she’d asked Grandma to see that Jimmy got it on his twenty-first birthday.

“Same as last year, only Grandma included a letter Mom wrote before she died.” Jimmy squinted as he silently read the note.

Dear Jimmy,

I’m sure by now your father has told you the truth about your adoption, but he isn’t always good about sharing details, so I wanted to be sure you knew and understood the whole story.

First, I want you to know that the reason we didn’t tell you from the beginning that you were adopted was because we wanted to be sure you were old enough to understand.

The words on the page blurred as Jimmy reread the first two lines. Could it be true that he was adopted? He’d never suspected it, and neither Mom nor Dad had ever let on. He blinked a couple of times and forced his eyes to focus, determined to finish reading the letter.

Your dad and I were unable to have children of our own, and when we decided to adopt, it was because we both wanted a child and knew we could offer that child a good home with all the love he or she would need. So when Max Brenner, our attorney here in Puyallup, told us that a lawyer friend of his in Bel Air, Maryland, had contact with a single mother who couldn’t care for her one-year-old son, we jumped at the chance to adopt you. After Max set the wheels in motion on this end, we drove to the East Coast to pick up our baby.

As it turned out, I ended up with one of my sick headaches and had to stay behind in the hotel while your dad went to Carl Stevens’s office in Bel Air.

Oh, Jimmy, I can’t tell you how excited I was when I held you for the first time. It was as though you had always been mine. Raising you has been such a joy and a privilege. I couldn’t love you more had you been my own flesh-and-blood son.

Your dad loves you, too, although I know he has an odd way of showing it sometimes. He may come across as harsh and indifferent, but I think he covers up his true feelings with his brashness. I believe the reason he sometimes drinks is because he can’t deal with certain things.

I thank God for leading me to church, and I’m grateful you’ve found a personal relationship with the Lord, too. Even though I’ve never been able to convince your dad that he has a need for Christ, I’ve continued to pray that he will someday come to know Him as we do. Maybe you will be the one to show him the way, so please continue to pray for your dad.

Always remember that I love you, Jimmy, and I have ever since that amazing day when I first held you in my arms.

All my love,
Mom

With tears clogging the back of his throat, Jimmy lifted the piece of paper. “Mom told me the whole story in this letter.”

“The whole story? What whole story is that?” Dad plunked the beer bottle on the coffee table and clambered off the couch.

“About me being adopted. She thought you would have told me by now. Why haven’t you, Dad?”

“I was going to, Jimmy.” Dad’s face had turned red, and a trickle of sweat rolled off his forehead and onto his cheek.

“Mom said the two of you drove back East to get me and that you went to the lawyer’s office alone.”

“Yeah, that’s right. Your mother had one of her migraines that morning.” Dad leaned over Jimmy’s shoulder and stared at the letter. After a few minutes, he straightened, and his face seemed to relax. “She’s right, Jimmy. We both loved you, and the only reason we didn’t tell you about your adoption sooner was because—”

Jimmy waved the letter in front of his face. “I know all that. What I don’t understand is why you didn’t tell me yourself. Why’d I have to find out like this?”

“I’m sorry about that, but I … I just kept putting it off.” Dad shrugged. “I would’ve gotten around to it sooner or later.”

“So I’m not perfect. You know about the adoption, and you know we both loved you. Now let’s get on with our lives, okay?”

Jimmy sprang to his feet, and Dad staggered backward. “Get on with our lives? I just found out I’m adopted, and now you want me to get on with my life like nothing’s any different than it’s always been?”

“I said I love you, and I loved your mother, too. Loved her enough to—” Dad sank to the couch, and with shaky fingers, he reached for his beer.

“Yeah, that’s right, Dad. The answer to everything is in that bottle, isn’t it?” Jimmy rarely spoke to his dad like this, but he was getting tired of covering for him when he didn’t show up at work and tired of putting up with his drunkenness and hearing all his lame excuses for why he drank. Learning that he’d been adopted and realizing his dad was supposed to have told him made Jimmy feel things he’d never felt before and say things he’d always wanted to say but had kept bottled up inside.

Dad gulped down some more beer and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “I … I need something to take the edge off. You know, to help me calm down.”

Table of Contents

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3