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HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS

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Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New International Version^®, NIV^®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by the International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

Verses marked NLT are from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, IL 60189. All rights reserved.

Verses marked KJV are from the King James Version of the Bible.

Cover by Dugan Design Group, Bloomington, Minnesota

30 DAYS TO A STRONGER, MORE CONFIDENT YOU

Published by Harvest House Publishers

Eugene, Oregon 97402

www.harvesthousepublishers.com

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Pegues, Deborah Smith

[Supreme confidence]

30 days to stronger, more confident you / Deborah Smith Pegues.

pages cm

Revised edition of Supreme confidence / Deborah Smith Pegues. 2008.

Includes bibliographical references.

ISBN 978-0-7369-6121-9 (pbk.)

ISBN 978-0-7369-6122-6 (eBook)

1. Self-confidence—Religious aspects—Christianity. I. Title. II. Title: Thirty days to a stronger, more confident you.

BV4598.23.P44 2015

248.4—dc23

2014022667

All rights reserved. No part of this electronic publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, digital, photocopy, recording, or any other—without the prior written permission of the publisher. The authorized purchaser has been granted a nontransferable, nonexclusive, and noncommercial right to access and view this electronic publication, and purchaser agrees to do so only in accordance with the terms of use under which it was purchased or transmitted. Participation in or encouragement of piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of author’s and publisher’s rights is strictly prohibited.

Dedication

This book is dedicated to my husband, Darnell, my companion, my confidant, and my cheerleader. There is none like you on all the earth.

Acknowledgments

Special thanks…

To the Harvest House family: Bob Hawkins Jr., president, for his humility, his passion, and his commitment to the spiritual development of those who love to read; Terry Glaspey, director of acquisitions and development, who stretched me beyond my comfort zone to do a thorough work; Kim Moore, my editor, who convinced me that I could do it; and the entire staff for the spirit of team that makes the company the powerhouse that it is.

To P.B. “Bunny” Wilson, for her wisdom and godly example of what an emotionally secure woman really looks like.

To my friends in ministry: Terri McFadden, Theresa McFadden, Sandra Arceneaux, Marilyn Beaubien, and Pat Ashley, for their encouragement.

To my former Bible study group: LaTanya Richardson Jackson, Cookie Johnson, Charlayne Woodard, Akousua Busia, Wanda Vaughn, Andi Chapman, Candida Mobley-Wright, Eula Smith, Jennifer McHenry, Cheri Townsend, Patricia Moore, and Pat Kelly, whose hunger and receptivity for the Word kept me researching the principles discussed herein.

To everyone who participated anonymously so that the world could benefit from your story.

To my family, for your unwavering support of all I do.

To my husband, Darnell, who had to endure my hours of solitude and unavailability in order to bring the book to fruition.

Most of all, to my Lord, who is indeed the author and finisher of this work.

Contents

Dedication

Acknowledgments

1. Confront Your Insecurity

Part 1: Syndromes of Insecurity

2. Justifying Jealousy

3. Exhibiting Envy

4. Seeking Significance

5. Preserving Preeminence

6. Pleasing People

7. Performing or Perishing

8. Imagining Inadequacy

Part 2: Roadblocks to Confidence

9. Prayerlessness

10. Personal Devaluation

11. Poor Knowledge

12. Purposeless Living

13. Past Transgressions

14. Perfectionism

15. Pride

Part 3: Strategies for Slaying the Giant of Insecurity

16. Resting on God’s Word

17. Refusing to Be Deterred

18. Remembering Past Victories

19. Rejecting Carnal Weapons

20. Resisting Intimidation

21. Running Toward the Giant

22. Reaping the Reward

Part 4: Habits of Supremely Confident People

23. Embracing Individuality

24. Employing Teamwork

25. Engaging Constructive Feedback

26. Establishing Boundaries

27. Empowering Others

28. Enjoying Success

29. Experiencing Peace

30. Walking in Victory

Appendix A: Prayer for Supreme Confidence

Appendix B: Confidence-Building Scriptures

Notes

About the Author

About the Publisher

Day 1

Confront Your Insecurity

The Sunday morning worship service was in full swing at Faith Covenant Church. Sherry glanced up from her hymnal just in time to see the usher direct a shapely young woman to the seat on the other side of her husband, John. She cringed as she took in the beauty of the sexy latecomer who looked as if someone had poured her into her way-too-short-for-church spandex knit dress. Sherry silently scolded herself for abandoning her latest diet program. Of course, John was a loving husband who had never been unfaithful and was not prone to wandering eyes. Notwithstanding, Sherry thought of asking him to exchange seats with her, but decided that her motive would have been too obvious.

Across the aisle, Jerry the church plant manager, despite the upbeat singing of the choir, decided to peek into the weekly bulletin. What he saw caused him to turn green with envy. Lois Smith, the latest new hire to the church staff, was featured as “Staff Person of the Month.” Until the arrival of this highly credentialed superstar, Jerry had been the most esteemed member of the staff. Though he could claim only a high school education, he was one of the founding members of the church. He was faithful in his attendance to scheduled services and was the official go-to person for the majority of the problems that arose—at least he was before the church started to experience mega growth. Now the pastor was hiring seasoned professionals with fancy technical and managerial skills. He was even raising his expectations of all paid and volunteer leaders. To Jerry, it seemed that his status was eroding by the day.

Finally, in the pulpit, Pastor Terry was fretting over the increasing popularity of Elder Moore, the men’s Bible study teacher. Why, the attendance in his class was large enough to start a small church! Elder Moore was a great communicator, his messages were relevant, and he was genuinely concerned about the men and their issues. It was no secret that they adored him and considered him their mentor. To boot, he was also a solid and well-balanced family man. Pastor Terry had never heard anyone cast an aspersion on Elder Moore’s character. In sum, the guy was virtually perfect. Pastor Terry was torn between viewing him as a valuable asset or a potential liability.

What do Sherry, Jerry, and Pastor Terry have in common? They are all battling an unrelenting emotional giant. It is a giant that lives in the mind and causes its victims to feel inadequate, unsure, or doubtful of their abilities to perform in the essential aspects of life. It is the giant of insecurity.

No respecter of persons, insecurity infiltrates and influences every major aspect of a person’s life. It attacks individuals from the lowest to the highest rungs of the professional, social, economic, and spiritual ladder. Although it thrives in the mind, insecurity is not a psychological disorder.

Insecurity is an unbelieving mind-set, rooted in fear and nourished by spiritual and natural ignorance. It was once my frequent companion until I found out how to recognize and overcome its many manifestations. Even now, it sneaks in an occasional visit, but my spiritual radar quickly alerts me to its presence and enables me to respond with appropriate firepower from the Word of God. But I am not so naive as to believe that it will ever stop trying to rear its ugly head in one area or another in my life. That is why I am writing this book.

In the following chapters, I will share the truths that God has revealed to me for conquering this giant. You will be introduced to biblical characters and situations, as well as modern-day people who may mirror your own behavior or that of someone you know. Your relationships will improve as you gain insight into the fears that cause you to behave in certain ways—at home, at work, and at play. You will learn how to stay on high alert for this insidious enemy and to defeat it each time it rises up in your life.

During the course of our journey, I will give you instructions on how to leave the valley of self-doubt, bypass the road of self-confidence, and advance to the highway of Supreme confidence, the kind only God can give.

It is not my intent to provide an in-depth analysis of the numerous circumstances or situations that may have caused a person to become insecure. Suffice to say that insecurity is learned behavior—and it is learned early in life. Its origin may run the gamut from a traumatic childhood experience, such as the loss of a parent through death, divorce, drug abuse, or abandonment; cruel teasing and rejection by other children; rejection by peers during the formative years because of a handicap or other physical difference; an overly critical, nonnurturing, nonaffirming parent; a prejudiced, unsupportive teacher; an unstable home environment due to numerous job relocations, or financially irresponsible parents, to name a few.

It would be time well spent to trace your various insecurities to their roots. At least you will know the foundation of the problem. But while it is helpful to understand the path that got you to your current level of insecurity, it is more important to get on the road to Supreme confidence. That is what this book is about.

In Part 1, “Syndromes of Insecurity,” we will examine seven biblical characters and look at how their insecurity affected their lives and the lives of others. In Part 2, “Roadblocks to Confidence,” I will challenge you to take an introspective self-audit of the seven behaviors that may be preventing you from becoming the confident person you desire to be. In Part 3, “Strategies for Slaying the Giant of Insecurity,” the battle is on. These chapters parallel the story of David and Goliath and show you how to overcome your insecurities despite obvious realities or discouragement from others.

By the time you reach Part 4, “Habits of Supremely Confident People,” you will have conquered the giant—or know how to—and will be poised to model the behavior that bespeaks the emotional victory that you have achieved through God’s grace.

Finally, the appendixes feature key information to help you maintain your mastery of insecurity. Appendix A is a powerful, scripturally referenced healing prayer that connects you with God and leads you into declaring your victory on a daily basis. Appendix B is an arsenal of Scriptures for you to read, recite, and memorize to reinforce your confidence.

Quick Self-Assessment

Before you begin your quest for Supreme confidence, let’s take a quick assessment of your current level of insecurity. Please answer yes or no to the questions below. Be honest. Resist the urge to go into denial. Know that an acknowledged weakness can be your greatest strength and the quickest path to an emotionally balanced and fulfilling life.

INSECURITY QUIZ

1. Do you find yourself resenting or criticizing others who are assertive, confident, or capable in areas in which you feel inadequate?

2. Do you become anxious when it appears that someone may take your place of prominence in a certain environment or relationship?

3. Do you brag about your possessions, accomplishments, or well-known acquaintances in order to gain the admiration of others?

4. Do you become perturbed when someone disagrees with your opinion or rejects your advice?

5. Do you fail to pursue certain opportunities for fear of failure or inadequacy for the task?

6. When working with a team, do you prefer to “shine alone” rather than having the group share the credit for your ideas?

7. Do you resist giving or receiving constructive criticism?

8. Do you find it difficult to say no or to express your personal boundaries or preferences in relationships?

9. Do you feel slighted when someone gives a friend, sibling, coworker, or another person a compliment or an accolade in your presence?

10. Do you feel inadequate or inferior due to certain unchangeable physical features such as your height, skin color, a physical deformity, a handicap, facial features, or your age?

If you answered yes to any of the questions above, you are most likely battling insecurity at some level. If you answered yes to five or more, insecurity has a major stronghold on your life. Do not despair; conquering it is not impossible. You can break its grip on your life and become an internally secure person. Be patient and understand that this will be a process rather than an event.

A popular riddle asks, “How do you eat an elephant?” The answer is, “One bite at a time!” And so it is with insecurity. How do you conquer it? One fear at a time!

Let’s get started.

Syndromes of Insecurity

Syn•drome: a distinctive pattern of behavior

Day 2

Justifying Jealousy

Anger is cruel, and wrath is like a flood, but who can survive the destructiveness of jealousy?

PROVERBS 27:4 NLT

King Saul found himself in a real dilemma. David, an unknown upstart, had killed Goliath, the Philistine giant, and was gaining in popularity daily. In fact, the women were literally singing his praises.

When the men were returning home after David had killed the Philistine, the women came out from all the towns of Israel to meet King Saul with singing and dancing, with joyful songs and with tambourines and lutes. As they danced, they sang: “Saul has slain his thousands, and David his tens of thousands.” Saul was very angry; this refrain galled him. “They have credited David with tens of thousands,” he thought, “but me with only thousands. What more can he get but the kingdom?” And from that time on Saul kept a jealous eye on David (1 Samuel 18:6-9).

Angered and humiliated by their song, King Saul embarked upon a campaign to wipe David off the face of the earth. The insecure king was relentless in his pursuit, engaging in repeated attempts to slay the innocent young man whom he now viewed as a rival to his throne (1 Samuel 18–26). David’s lifestyle became that of a fugitive as he literally ran from place to place trying to escape the wrath of Saul.

What was this gnawing emotion that fueled Saul’s actions? It was raw, unadulterated jealousy—the fear of being displaced. It consumed him like a fire. He was determined not to rest until he eliminated the threat to his kingdom.

We can learn from Saul’s example. When we attempt to destroy someone whom we consider to be a threat of any kind—be it professional, relational, or otherwise—we have embarked upon a course that will most assuredly come to a dead end as we reap the results of the negative seeds that are planted. Saul did not succeed in killing David. Rather, he and all of his sons were killed in a battle with the Philistines (1 Samuel 31). David then became king of Israel according to the sovereign plan of God.

The sovereign plan of God is a factor in our lives that we must constantly remind ourselves to consider. When jealousy rears its head and tries to make us fear that we are going to be displaced in any manner or in any circumstances, we need to swat those negative thoughts with Psalm 139:16: “You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed” (NLT).

Guarding What’s Mine

Like the powerful suction of a vacuum cleaner, jealousy can pull us into its chamber. Once there, we become angry, possessive, fearful, and totally ineffective. There are two truths I try to stay keenly aware of when I sense jealousy’s lure. First, God has my back. Second, He has a sovereign plan for my life.

David knew the key to avoiding this trap. He proclaimed, “LORD, you alone are my inheritance, my cup of blessing. You guard all that is mine” (Psalm 16:5 NLT). I have come to understand that when God has determined that something is mine, I have no need to guard it in the sense of watching over it for fear it will escape. That’s God’s job, not mine. My responsibility is to nurture and enjoy the blessing on a daily basis, rather than obsessing over whether it will still be mine tomorrow. Embracing this truth can free you from anxiety about the unknown. On the other hand, when God, in His wisdom, has decided that something is not to be mine, then I must submit to His plan and release it. Holding on to it will keep me in the pit of insecurity as the thing continues to elude me. Sure, I will need God’s supernatural intervention to help me to let it go, but at least I know His empowering grace is available for the asking. I absolutely must trust God to guard what is mine. When a child of God succumbs to the pitfall of jealousy, he engages in the ultimate act of unbelief.

The fear of being displaced knows no economic, social, or political boundaries. Consider Norman McGowan’s story:

It was Sir Winston Churchill’s standing order that when he returned by train from a trip that his dog Rufus should be brought to the station to meet him. Rufus would be let off his leash to dash to his master and be the first to greet him. One day I happened to be standing close by. Rufus ignored his master and came leaping all over me instead. Of course, Sir Winston loved Rufus too much to blame him. Instead, he turned to me with a hurt look and said quietly, “In the future, Norman, I would prefer you to stay in the train until I’ve said hello.”¹

The Jealous Mate

“But,” you may be saying, “I’m not the jealous one. How do I deal with my mate’s jealousy?” If you are committed to staying in your relationship, you must understand the root cause of your mate’s fear of being displaced.

Take the case of a man I will call Kory. He is the illegitimate son of Ronald, a man highly regarded in his community for his wealth and influence. Now, Kory’s mother, Wanda, was close friends with Ronald’s wife. When Kory was born, Wanda was too embarrassed by her betrayal to disclose the name of Kory’s father. However, when Kory reached high school, his mother told him the truth about his birth. By then Ronald’s wife had separated from him and moved to another state.

Kory related to me that one day he was downtown shopping with Ronald when they met one of Ronald’s friends, who remarked about their striking resemblance. The inquisitive friend went on to ask, “Is this your boy?” Ronald refused to answer directly and deflected the question with a lighthearted reply. Kory was devastated. He took Ronald’s response as rejection of him. He wanted his father to be proud to acknowledge him. Kory never told Ronald how that incident had affected him. He chose rather to hide his hurt and to mentally rehearse the incident every chance he got so that he could feel sorry for himself. To this day, Kory has had a challenge with each woman whom he has attempted to relate to romantically. His ex-wife confided to me that during their marriage he was extremely jealous. He even confessed to me that he had often felt that the women in his life would eventually abandon him. Kory allowed one incident to destroy his ability to trust.

Dealing with an Insecure Mate

If you are dealing with an insecure mate, you must make every effort to be accountable. It is important to voluntarily provide adequate (read: extra) details to an insecure person. After all, he is looking for assurance. Learn to explain your whereabouts in a casual but thorough manner. Short, one-syllable responses will only provide more insecurity and leave the person to imagine various negative scenarios. After all, the jealous person is insecure and thus feels he does not have what it takes to maintain the relationship.

Do not make the mistake of thinking or saying, “Tough, you just need to get over your insecurity.” If it were that easy, he would have done so by now. Continue to pray for his or her healing from this debilitating mind-set, but do your part not to exacerbate the problem with vague communication. Most of all, encourage your partner to talk about his or her fears. Listen without being critical or judgmental. Seek first to understand. Make it clear that you have pure intentions regarding your relationship. But here is something important to keep in mind: Stay balanced in your interaction. You must also make it clear that you will not be forced into an emotional prison by having to account for every moment of the day. This too could exacerbate the jealousy and set up unrealistic expectations. Trust is a two-way street.

Wisdom vs. Insecurity

Some situations may require you to exercise the kind of wisdom that could cause others to accuse you of being insecure. For example, no matter how faithful your husband is, it is probably not a good idea to allow your girlfriend to spend the weekend in your home alone with him while you are away. I know of a woman who regularly allowed her husband to take her best friend home late at night. She was devastated when she later discovered they were having an affair. Wisdom would have dictated that she accompany them—even at the risk of appearing to be insecure.

I once asked the wife of a very popular, internationally known minister if she frequently accompanied her husband to his numerous speaking engagements to various cities and countries. She replied very resolutely, “You have to.” Of course, this is not to say that men of the cloth should never travel alone. This was simply one woman’s way of being a visible safeguard for her husband.

Now, you may say that if an affair is going to happen, it’s going to happen anyway. Just know that a wise woman does not serve her husband to another woman on a silver platter.

CONFIDENCE CHALLENGE

Describe a relational, professional, social, or other situation in which you fear being displaced.

Write the Scripture below on a separate piece of paper or a card and meditate on it often.

You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed

(Psalm 139:16 NLT).

Remind yourself that no one except you and God can affect His plan for your life.

Day 3

Exhibiting Envy

Wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous; but who is able to stand before envy?

PROVERBS 27:4 KJV

Have you ever been around someone who reminded you of what you should be, could be, or desire to be? Did you find yourself resenting or unfairly judging the person because you have not had the faith, courage, discipline, or even opportunity to pursue your own goals? If you answered yes to the latter question, you are being held captive by the monster of envy.

Unlike jealousy, the fear of being displaced, envy is a feeling of ill will toward those who possess the thing you want. It is important to understand this difference. Jealousy says, “I am afraid you are going to take what I have.” Envy, on the other hand, says, “I want what you have and I resent you for having it!” Envy is one of the most frequently concealed of all emotions. A person is more likely to admit to an uncontrollable temper, a phobia, or any other negative emotion than to acknowledge that he is envious.

Envy can force you into a cycle of resentment and self-doubt as you start to wonder what it is about you that keeps you from getting what you desire. Your discontentment with your situation becomes the breeding ground for insecurity and its debilitating thoughts: “You don’t deserve to have that.” “You don’t have the beauty, the brains, the body, the personality, the social standing, the contacts, or the whatever to even dream of such a thing!” Entertaining such negative thoughts can leave you scorching in the desert of envy and longing for just a drop of the blessings that seem to shower others.

You must immediately halt your train of thinking and come to grips with the reality that there will always be somebody within your various circles of interaction who will enjoy an advantage you desire. Don’t fall into the trap of believing that somebody’s life is perfect just because he has something you wish you had. Life is much more complex than that. Everybody has at least one aspect of his existence he wishes were different. Trust me, there is somebody in your circle who envies you for something you possess. Pray a hedge of protection around your emotions so that envy will not drag you into a pit of insecurity and resentment of others.

Resenting Confidence

After God fired King Saul for his disobedience in offering an unauthorized sacrifice, He dispatched Samuel the prophet to anoint a new king for the nation of Israel. He directed him to the house of a man named Jesse, who had eight sons. The moment Samuel laid eyes on Eliab, the eldest son, it was “king at first sight.” He could not hide his enthusiasm at the apparent choice:

“Surely the LORD’s anointed stands here before the LORD.” But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:6-7).

Eliab’s tall and handsome appearance made him seem right for this lofty position. His kingly presence had even persuaded Samuel, an anointed, discerning, and seasoned man of God who literally grew up in church. However, God, being all-knowing, saw something in Eliab’s heart that disqualified him for the nation’s top job.

Seven of Jesse’s sons passed before Samuel for consideration. Of course, no one knew that Samuel was on a secret assignment to anoint a new king. They only knew somebody was being anointed for something special. God rejected them all.

So he [Samuel] asked Jesse, “Are these all the sons you have?” “There is still the youngest,” Jesse answered, “but he is tending the sheep.” Samuel said, “Send for him; we will not sit down until he arrives.” So he sent and had him brought in. He was ruddy, with a fine appearance and handsome features. Then the LORD said, “Rise and anoint him; he is the one” (1 Samuel 16:11-12).

Imagine the thoughts that must have flooded Eliab’s mind at this point. “Well, what’s up, Lord? I am the oldest son. I thought it was my birthright to be first in line to receive the place of honor or any other prime benefits!” Eliab had to bear the frustration and humiliation of being rejected in favor of his youngest brother. Rejection is guaranteed to produce anger that will most often be directed to the one selected rather than the one who has rejected. We often see this when a woman catches her man with another woman. She directs her vengeance to the floozy. An ensuing fight between them is commonplace while the man stands by and watches—sometimes with delight.

Eliab, no doubt, harbored feelings of resentment toward David. Resentment is simply unresolved anger that is “re-sent” to the inside. Unfortunately, once you allow resentment to enter your heart, it acts as a free radical producing an emotional cancer. It will eventually manifest itself in some destructive way, whether it is in the form of overeating, shopping excessively, lashing out, being sarcastic, or physically harming others.

Eliab’s envy and resentment came to the forefront while Israel was at war with the Philistines. Jesse sent David to the scene of the battle to take food and other necessities to his brothers who were in King Saul’s army. David became righteously indignant when he arrived and heard Goliath, the Philistine giant, taunting and intimidating the Israelites.

Then David spoke to the men who stood by him, saying, “What shall be done for the man who kills this Philistine and takes away the reproach from Israel? For who is this uncircumcised Philistine, that he should defy the armies of the living God?” And the people answered him in this manner, saying, “So shall it be done for the man who kills him.” Now Eliab his oldest brother heard when he spoke to the men; and Eliab’s anger was aroused against David, and he said, “Why did you come down here? And with whom have you left those few sheep in the wilderness? I know your pride and the insolence of your heart, for you have come down to see the battle.” And David said, “What have I done now? Is there not a cause?” (1 Samuel 17:26-29 NKJV).

Have you ever noticed that when an insecure person meets someone who is confident, he will often accuse him of being arrogant or cocky? Of all the men present, why was Eliab the only one who reacted so vehemently to David’s statements? David had not engaged in behavior that would incite the envy of others, nor did he attempt to embarrass Eliab in any way. In fact, David’s questions were not even directed to his brother. Thus, any embarrassment Eliab felt was self-imposed.

As we dig a little deeper into the Scriptures, we can understand the root of his problem. Eliab was tall and physically strong. And though he looked prepared to fight the giant, he ran from him just as everyone else had done. Eliab felt the pressure of his younger brother demonstrating the confidence and courage that had eluded him. To make matters worse, his name meant “God (El) is my father (ab).” As I meditated on this story, the thought came to my mind, “He is wearing the name, but letting Satan run his game!”

Now, before we pass judgment on Eliab, let’s look in the mirror. How many of us are wearing the name “Child of God,” but letting Satan run his game by allowing the giant of insecurity to control our lives?

Contrary to Eliab’s accusation, David was not cocky, he was just convinced—convinced that God would honor His covenant with the Israelites to protect them and to subdue their enemies. Eliab envied David’s confidence. And, in the typical fashion of an insecure person, he attempted to devalue the person he envied—even a blood relative.

Family Envy

Perhaps you are part of a family where, by default, you are the CFO (chief family officer) and therefore the designated problem solver. That’s my role. And, like me, you’ve probably had the experience of other family members resenting your ability to take charge of a situation. The truth of the matter is that they envy your confidence in facing issues head-on and your ability to think clearly, soberly, and objectively in resolving them.