“Here’s a straight-from-the-shoulder guidebook that avoids the shallows of world-think, anchors to the rock of God’s grace-filled and loving ways, and answers the deep-seated heartcry of innumerable honest men and women, teens and collegians who are seeking lasting fulfillment.”
“Joy is hugely important in the lives of believers, and this is the perfect manual for finding real happiness.”
“Randy Robison challenges us to think more deeply about what it means not only to be joyful but also to be happy. The result is a book that will awaken the desire for true happiness in your life—today and always!”
“This book makes war on the age-old heresy that Christians are unhappy people. Redeeming the truth that our God is the author of joy, Robison breathes life again into his reader’s soul.”
“We thoroughly enjoyed reading this book. It is very well written, practical, thought provoking, and relevant. A great resource for a godly view of true happiness.”
“Having dedicated my life to strengthening marriages, I understand the importance of happiness for couples. This book not only helps people individually but also creates a better foundation for all relationships. In God Wants You to Be Happy, Robison joins godly wisdom with personal insight to create a refreshing guide for living with unconditional joy and happiness.”
“Is there an unhappy person in your life? This book will help point the way to a place of greater joy.”
“Negativity and discontent just don’t lead us to the lives we desire. Wouldn’t we rather just be happy? I would, and I know you would too! Robison shows us we all can possess and express happiness. What an impact this could have on every family, marriage, and individual.”
“This book has the potential to change a lot of lives! Real happiness can only be found in the light of Christ. This light, implanted into the heart of every believer, longs to consume us and emanate from us. Robison clearly defines the differences between the alluring happiness based on chasing our self-centered, ego-driven, materialistic desires, and happiness based on the light of Christ already within us.”
“Robison provides an in-depth look at what happiness means in God’s economy—he really has given us a Bible study on the subject. God does want us to be happy in the truest sense of the word. I learned so much and appreciate Randy’s new insights, his scholastic approach, and his practical applications. If you want to know happiness as God intends it, read this book!”
“This is a marvelous message for the perilous times in which we live. It is a must read for anyone in pursuit of true happiness.”
“In troubled times, Robison reminds us that “the joy of the Lord” isn’t just part of a verse to quote—it’s God’s central plan for our lives. The choice is ours to walk in happiness, and Randy illuminates the steps!”
“True happiness isn’t achieved through selfishness. Rather, it comes from seeking God first and living a life that blesses others. Robison gets that. I’m so thankful for a book that reveals how to live with a biblical happiness that not only enriches your own life but also impacts the lives of those around you.”
HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS
EUGENE, OREGON
Unless otherwise indicated, scripture quotations are taken from the New American Standard Bible®, © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)
Verses marked NIV are taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version® NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
Verses marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, IL 60189 USA. All rights reserved.
Verses marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Verses marked KJV are taken from the King James Version of the Bible.
All emphasis in scripture quotations (in italics) is added by the author.
Cover by Koechel Peterson & Associates, Inc., Minneapolis, Minnesota
Backcover author photo by Ian Gray
GOD WANTS YOU TO BE HAPPY
Copyright © 2012 by James Randall Robison
Published by Harvest House Publishers
Eugene, Oregon 97402
www.harvesthousepublishers.com
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Robison, James Randall.
God wants you to be happy / James Randall Robison.
p. cm.
ISBN 978-0-7369-4946-0 (pbk.)
ISBN 978-0-7369-4948-4 (eBook)
1. Happiness—Religious aspects—Christianity. I. Title.
BV4647.J68R63 2012
241'.4—dc23
2011025154
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, digital, photocopy, recording, or any other—except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.
Printed in the United States of America
11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 /BP-NI/ 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
I am blessed by many who choose to give me great joy,
starting with my wife, Debbie, and children, Abbie, Alek,
Aidan, and Audrey. This includes my parents and my sisters’
families, the Redmons and Turners, and my friends at the
Met Church and the men of ORU’s Youngblood.
Introduction
Our Calling to Be Happy
Happiness Is…
Part 1: Obstacles to Happiness
1. Human Nature
2. Disobedience
3. Bitterness
4. Pride
5. Taking Offense
6. Expectations
7. Unforgiveness
Part 2: Mixed Blessings
8. Money
9. Pleasure
10. Family
11. Work
12. Fear
13. Brokenness
14. Suffering
Part 3: Paths to Happiness
15. Salvation
16. God’s Presence
17. Goodness
18. Hope and Optimism
19. Helping Others
20. Justice
21. Praise
22. Trust
23. Wisdom
24. A Godly Perspective
25. Celebration
Find Your Happy Place
More Great Books from Harvest House
God wants you to be happy. It’s a simple idea, but a complicated reality.
About a year after the horrible genocide in Rwanda, I traveled to that hellhole to document the construction of a new orphanage for the television program LIFE Today. I found children who had been maimed, traumatized, and separated from their families. But I also found something unexpected: children who seemed to be genuinely happy. No doubt they had shed many tears and had a few more coming, but most of them were not gloomy, angry, or detached. They played, sang, and enjoyed the company of their fellow orphans.
I also met Fred Nkunda, a Ugandan man who exuded joy despite the conditions of poverty, political strife, overwhelming need, and long hours of working for a pittance to care for his children. A few years later, he succumbed to cancer, but while he lived he wore a warm smile as he selflessly gave himself to others. The same was true for a young Canadian couple and the African Christians who devoted their lives to the mission work.
When I came home, I noticed a shocking contrast. Most Americans lacked the joy that those Rwandan children and mission workers undeniably possessed. Despite the affluence, modern conveniences, political stability, and endless other material blessings, people here scowled, exhibited impatience, and simmered with discontent. How could this be?
Somewhere along the way, many of us in America have lost something. We have failed to experience happiness—real happiness that comes from within and flows to others. And it’s not just missing in “the world.” It’s in short supply in our homes, businesses, and churches.
Too often, happiness is viewed as a circumstantial condition. It is actually a personal character trait. We understand the necessity of love, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. These are accepted and desirable consequences of Holy Spirit residency. But happiness? It is easily overlooked or dismissed as unattainable in this life.
From a biblical perspective, happiness holds the same status as these other virtues. It is not the goal of a relationship with Christ, but it is a promised by-product. Of course, we need to establish the meaning of happiness to believe such a claim, but when we examine the scriptural notions of happiness, joy, delight, and other related concepts, a part of God’s plan for His children becomes clear: He wants us to be happy.
If you consider yourself a happy person, as I consider myself to be, then you will find this book to be enlightening and encouraging. You will understand yourself better and learn how to get really good at being happy. And I will warn you now: Happiness is infectious. The better you are at it, the happier people around you will be, which will make you even happier.
If you doubt your happiness or readily admit that you are unhappy, the ideas and scriptures laid out in this book will open the door for you to escape your darkness and enter the light. The journey may be difficult, painful, and exhausting, but it will be worth it—not just for you, but for everyone in your life. You have no idea how much your life can change and how much you can change the lives of your loved ones when you become a truly happy person.
James tells us that if we are suffering hardships, we should pray, and if we are happy, we should sing praises (James 5:13). If you are suffering, pray as you read through this book. God wants to bring you to a place where you are so happy, you can’t stop yourself from singing. It may sound ridiculous now, but that’s the incredible difference God wants to make in your life!
Most of us, happy or not, have an awareness gap. We spend time pursuing things we think will make us happy, but we don’t consciously consider the true meaning of happiness. If we examine the idea (both analytically and scripturally), discover its true meaning, recognize the obstacles, and actively pursue the paths to happiness, it can become a distinguishing characteristic of our lives—as it should be.
I became aware of this gap in my life many years ago. It took a long time for me to habitually consider how my words and actions impact my happiness and that of those around me, but I think I have made some progress. In this journey, I have discovered an incredible secret every believer should know: Happiness is a choice. It is a gift from Jesus Christ that we can own and then learn to give away. In His word, God repeatedly tells us to rejoice—an action that can create happiness. So be prepared to discover true happiness, learn how to keep it, and begin to share it with others.
God wants you to be happy. And in His word, He shows us how.
God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from
Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing.
C.S. LEWIS, MERE CHRISTIANITY
Why should you be happy? Few people would actually admit that they prefer being unhappy. Yet many people do things that invite unhappiness. It can be a nasty, self-perpetuating habit. I suspect most people don’t engage in much self-examination or put too much thought into the subject. Subconsciously, everyone wishes for happiness, but few make it a daily practice to ask, “Will this make me more happy or less?”
My church asked me to coordinate a band for a summer youth Bible study. The pastor in charge gave me a general idea of what they wanted and encouraged me to do what I wanted to do. So I did. I hustled up a great group of singers and instrumentalists. After the first weekend, the sound technician told me that what we had done did not fit his “vision.” I asked the lead pastor whose vision was operative—mine or the sound guy’s. He replied that mine was, with the guidelines he and I had already agreed on. So I planned for the next week.
On the Thursday before the second Sunday session, the sound technician told me I couldn’t use all of the singers. Again, I went to the lead pastor. It took a day, but the lead pastor came back and, apologetically, asked me to scale down. I was in the uncomfortable position of having to kick someone off the stage—someone who had volunteered and prepared for the weekend. Obviously, I was not pleased.
I had a choice to make. On one hand, I could complain, point at others’ deficiencies and lack of communication, and generally cause a ruckus. In my mind, I was justified. I even had other band members on my side. But what good would that do? As I squelched my emotions and conformed my mind to God’s word (and this book, which I was writing at the time), I realized that my reaction would impact a lot of people. I could easily hurt the tech guy. I could divide the band members from the youth leadership. I might even make a few people look bad. What good would that do?
Stirring discontent would not make my volunteers happy. It wouldn’t make the youth workers happy. It wouldn’t make the pastor happy. And it sure wouldn’t do anything positive for the kids who showed up and needed to be ushered into God’s presence through the praise music. In the long run, it would work against my happiness too. I spent many years building the self-confidence, the musical ability, the relationships with other musicians, and the trust of church staff to lead worship. Torching others would set me back regardless of how “right” I thought I was.
So I stabbed my pride in the back, buried my ambitions, and bit my tongue. I focused on the positive things and thanked everyone involved for their role. I trusted God to move in the students’ lives regardless of how the music sounded. As a result, everyone was happier—including me.
As Christians, we are called to be happy and infect others with happiness. Let’s consider three compelling reasons to seek godly happiness.
Our happiness affects everyone around us. Perhaps you have a parent, spouse, or child who is perennially unhappy. How does that affect you? Does that person make you want to sing praises? I doubt it.
“You are the light of the world,” Jesus said. If you are a believer, He was talking about you. Discontent, bitterness, depression, and every other enemy of happiness does not brighten a room, much less the world. In fact, it has the reverse effect.
We all know people who elevate the mood when they walk into a room, and we all know people who bring it down. Happiness in you will create an environment for happiness in other people. It’s not guaranteed—those people have their own free will—but light dissipates darkness. If we are to be the light of the world, as Jesus declared, we need to start by being the light at home, at work, or wherever we are. Happiness is a light. It brightens everyone’s day.
Even more important, we have something that overrides every obstacle to happiness: salvation. That made all the difference for the prophet Isaiah. “I delight greatly in the LORD; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness” (Isaiah 61:10 NIV). Other versions replace delight with rejoice, find joy in, or will be full of joy.
The Hebrew word is sows or suws, depending on your resource. The same word is used in Psalm 119:162: “I rejoice at Your word, as one who finds great spoil.” In God’s word, we find the way to eternal salvation. Through salvation, death and sin are defeated. Spoil does not refer to bad mayonnaise. It refers to the treasures recovered from a defeated army. One of the spoils of this spiritual war (which is already won) is victory over sorrow, suffering, bitterness, fear, and every unhappy emotion. Because of the cross, happiness can extend beyond any passing pain of this life.
“Weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning” (Psalm 30:5 NIV). The pain of this world is temporary, but the happiness of God’s salvation through Jesus Christ lasts forever. The work of salvation does not begin when we die. It begins when we are born again. So if you have been born again, you are entitled to the spoils of war, including happiness. You can find joy in your salvation now.
If you are a Christian but constantly convey unhappiness, you are undermining your effectiveness as a witness for Christ. Who wants to be like an unhappy person? Consider the case of the Westboro Baptist Church in Wichita, Kansas. This group is famous for picketing the funerals of American soldiers. Brandishing signs such as “Thank God for Dead Soldiers” and “God Hates Fags,” this small band of malcontents has inflicted misery on grieving parents, cost cities thousands of dollars in security, and embarrassed the entire Christian community. These people do not produce the fruit of the Holy Spirit any more than a walnut tree produces watermelons. They repel believers and nonbelievers alike. Who wants to be like them!
In the same way (though less blatantly), when happiness is not a characteristic of your life, other people are not attracted to whatever you have. If you are an unhappy believer, people quickly draw this logical conclusion: “He or she is a Christian and is miserable. Why would I want to be like that?”
I like Merriam-Webster’s definition of fruit in the context of the fruit of the Spirit: “a condition or occurrence traceable to a cause.” The Holy Spirit in our lives is the cause; joy is the condition. One is directly traceable to the other. We are called to bear the fruit of the Spirit, so we are called to possess happiness. Whether you are happy for your own sake, for the sake of your loved ones, or for the sake of your Savior, you have reason enough to put thought and effort into being happy.
To ignore this is to miss the mark God has for your life. Whether by omission or by the tolerance of things that crush happiness, to live an unhappy life is, to a great degree, to fall short of Jesus’ plan for your life.
My advice is…try to recapture happiness in
yourself and in God. Think of all the beauty that’s
still left in and around you and be happy!
ANNE FRANK, THE DIARY OF ANNE FRANK
The entire premise of this study depends on an accurate definition of happiness. Unfortunately, the word has suffered a tragedy of the English language, as has the word love. I love my wife. I love chocolate chip cookies with almonds. And we wonder why people ask, “What is love?”
A brief survey will provide you with a litany of poetic, sublime, and sophomoric definitions of happiness. Here are a few:
• “Happiness is two kinds of ice cream” (You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown).
• “Happiness ain’t a thing in itself—it’s only a contrast with something that ain’t pleasant” (Mark Twain).
• “Happiness Is a Warm Gun” (the Beatles).
• “Happiness Is…Quilting!” (tagline at happinessisquilting.com).
So what is happiness? At www.GodWantsYouToBeHappy.com, you’ll find an in-depth survey of the language and relevant scriptures, but the short version is this: The answer depends on what you’re talking about.
Let’s start with the English word happy. It comes from the Old Norse word happ, meaning “good luck.” One of Merriam-Webster’s definitions derives from the original: “favored by luck or fortune.” We would say, “I happened to be the one-millionth customer, so I won a free gift.” It means lucky. There is a scriptural parallel in the Hebrew, but we translate it as blessed. Of course, the biblical context implies a source of the good fortune rather than mere chance. Those of us who believe that “the steps of a man are established by the LORD” (Psalm 37:23) tend to view good things in life as blessings from God, not just random luck. That is not the primary focus of this study, though God’s blessings certainly justify our happiness.
The irrelevant definitions include such idioms and expressions as impulsive (a trigger-happy cop), irresponsible (a punch-happy boxer), obsessed (a stats-happy announcer), and notably fitting (a happy choice for dinner). None of these have scriptural relevance to true happiness.
Instead, the closest English definition of biblical happiness would be “characterized by well-being and contentment.” Yet even that is insufficient. My teenage sons are content to play video games all day long, but a life of that would not make them happy. To the contrary, it would most likely make them fat, unhealthy, antisocial, poor, and miserable. The most appropriate definition I can offer comes from Barnes’ Notes on the New Testament: happiness is “a state of mind free from trouble.” That comes from the Greek word euthymō, which means “to be joyful, be of good cheer, of good courage.”
Think about that idea. Has your mind ever been free from trouble? Wouldn’t you be truly happy if your mind was untroubled by anything? I tend to think so. That isn’t to say ignorance is bliss. Rather, we can fully know what is going on around us and yet trust God and His promises enough to not be troubled by those things.
As much as I like that definition, it is still lacking. Some things should trouble us to varying degrees. We should have a burden for those who do not know Christ. We should be bothered by the plight of the poor, downtrodden, and sick. We should “weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15). Things that are not right in the world or in our lives should trouble us so we are motivated to corrective action. And therein lies some of the irony.
Our burden for the lost should cause us to preach the gospel, which brings great joy. Our concern for the poor should prompt us to care for them, which brings great joy. Our dissatisfaction with sickness causes us to seek cures, which brings great joy. And so goes this dynamic of seemingly opposing forces that is crucial to our happiness. As we find our place in God’s plan and obey His will in our lives, we often address disturbing problems and find happiness in offering the solution.
Billy Graham obviously exhibited a great burden for the lost. But instead of being despondent over those he didn’t reach, he found great joy in preaching salvation. Missionaries I have met in places like Rwanda and China clearly live in constant discontent with the condition of those to whom they minister. Simultaneously, they are happiest when working in the capacity in which they are called. Ask full-time missionaries what makes them most unhappy, and many will point to the time they must spend on furlough taking care of domestic issues or raising more money to fund their work. They would rather be in the field with those who suffer.
One final connotation that helps to shape a proper definition of happiness comes from the Hebrew word ‘ashar. It means “to advance, to make progress.” Attaining and maintaining happiness is not a one-time, all-inclusive effort. It is a series of choices that move us in the right direction.
Words may be insufficient to fully express the concept of happiness or joy, but you generally know whether or not you have it. The purpose of this book is to make you more aware of happiness and its impact on you and those around you, to minimize the obstacles, to define the biblical paths to happiness, and to help put “mixed blessings” in perspective. One day, nothing will stand in the way of complete joy for those who are in Christ. And even now, in the midst of our struggles, we can (and should) experience genuine joy. Our lives will be touched by trouble, but our minds can still remain free.
Early in my life, I was taught in church that happiness and joy were two different things. Happiness, the story goes, is purely emotional. It depends on external circumstances. It comes and goes with the fortunes of life. Joy, on the other hand, is internal. It’s more spiritual. It supposedly sticks with you even when you’re completely unhappy.
This makes no sense unless your definition of happiness follows the Old Norse meaning of luck. I don’t relate to this kind of happiness, and I don’t know anyone who does. Common sense should tell us we can’t be joyful and unhappy at the same time. If that’s the case, then our emotions are ruling us, not our minds or spirits—and certainly not God’s word.
If I ask whether you are a happy person, you don’t reflect on your immediate circumstances and ignore the totality of your life. If you’re honest, you go to your core state of mind. You may have won the lottery yesterday, but even that doesn’t guarantee your happiness today. (I’ve seen an interesting documentary on this subject. An amazing number of people who have come into large sums of cash actually multiplied their misery.) Your true state of happiness reflects your overall joy in life.
Another definition of rejoice is “to give joy to.” When we pair joy with “a state of happiness,” we see that we can give happiness to others. Scripture backs this up. I believe this is paramount to understanding happiness: We should embrace it, possess it, and give it away.
Consider the actions to which we are called as Christians. When we share the gospel, we introduce people to a happier life. When we feed the hungry, we create happiness. When we care for those who suffer, we bring some happiness into painful situations. When we love one another as Jesus commanded, others are usually happier, and we are too. When you read the word rejoice in scripture, you can often insert the words create happiness.
Jesus said, “Therefore you too have grief now; but I will see you again, and your heart will rejoice [chairō], and no one will take your joy away from you” (John 16:22). The prophet Zephaniah said to God’s people, “Shout for joy [ranan], O daughter of Zion! Shout [ruwa’] in triumph, O Israel! Rejoice [samach] and exult [‘alaz] with all your heart, O daughter of Jerusalem!” (Zephaniah 3:14).
Jesus came to make His joy full in us here and now (John 15:11; 16:24; 17:13). Insisting that Christians can possess that joy while radiating unhappiness is either a trick of the language or a devilish lie. I believe it’s the latter. It’s like saying we can have the rest of the fruit of the Spirit but never actually show it. You cannot exhibit hate and say you have love. You cannot commit cruel acts and claim kindness. And you cannot be an unhappy person and pretend you have joy. Joyful people will be happy people.
The Old Testament includes more than two dozen Hebrew words that directly relate to being happy, glad, joyful, or delighted. The New Testament incorporates about half a dozen Greek roots. The words and connotations vary somewhat, but they are consistently expressed as a state of mind designed to be characteristic of God’s people.
Perhaps the most revealing aspect of the Greek and Hebrew study is the fact that happiness is most often expressed as a noun or verb, not an adjective. In other words, it is something we do or possess, not something we feel. If we define happiness as our level of pleasure regarding something, we are hopeless. If our emotions determine our happiness, we will be maddeningly unstable. But if happiness is something we express through our actions, words, thoughts, and intentions, no external situation has power over it. Once we control it, it is an actual thing with substance and weight that cannot be taken from us unless we give it up. We possess it and express it, and no other force on earth can contest it.
Unfortunately, modern translations make it difficult to quickly assess the biblical meaning of happiness. I started with the New Living Translation, but after running into numerous passages where the word happy