reading

Print ISBN 978-1-68322-070-1

eBook Editions:
Adobe Digital Edition (.epub) 978-1-60742-119-1
Kindle and MobiPocket Edition (.prc) 978-1-60742-089-7

All scripture quotations are taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

All German-Dutch words are taken from the Revised Pennsylvania German Dictionary used in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania.

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any similarity to actual people, organizations, and/or events is purely coincidental.

Cover design: Müllerhaus Publishing Arts, Inc., www.Müllerhaus.net

For more information about Wanda E. Brunstetter, please access the author’s website at the following Internet address:
www.wandabrunstetter.com

Published by Barbour Books, an imprint of Barbour Publishing, Inc., P.O. Box 719, Uhrichsville, OH 44683, www.barbourbooks.com

Our mission is to publish and distribute inspirational products offering exceptional value and biblical encouragement to the masses.

Printed in the United States of America.

DEDICATION

To my dear friends Arlene and Wayne Randolph.
Thank you for introducing me to so many wonderful Amish people who live in northern Indiana.
To Dale Burnet. Thank you for your willingness to share the experience of losing a leg with me.

Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
PSALM 37:4

CHAPTER 1

Ach, there’s a bee in the van! Somebody, get it out of here before I get stung!”

Loraine Miller looked over her shoulder. Her cousin Katie’s face was as pale as goat’s milk, and her eyes were wide with fear. Ever since they’d been children and Katie had been trapped in the schoolhouse with a swarm of angry bees, she had panicked whenever a bee got too close. Poor Katie had been pelted with so many stings that day, much of her body had looked swollen. The doctor had said it was a good thing Katie wasn’t allergic to bee stings or she would have probably gone into shock.

“Get it! Get it!” Katie screamed. She sucked in a deep breath and ducked her head.

“Open your window, schnell!” Loraine said to her fiancé, Wayne Lambright. “We need to get that bee out before Katie hyperventilates.”

“Did…did it go out?” Katie’s chin trembled as she lifted her head. Her vivid green eyes glistened with unshed tears. Loraine found it hard to believe anyone could be so afraid of a bee, even though she knew the source of her cousin’s fear.

“Jah, I’m sure it’s out. At least, I don’t see it anymore,” Loraine said, hoping to reassure her cousin.

“It’s gone, Katie, so you can relax.” Wayne closed the window and nudged Loraine’s arm. “You know what I’m thinking?”

“I’m thinking I can hardly wait to get you on the Side Winder I’ve heard so much about!”

She grimaced. “It would be just like you to try and talk me into going on the scariest ride at Hershey Park.”

Wayne’s eyes twinkled. “Do you really think I’d twist your arm and make you do that?”

“She doesn’t think it; she knows it,” Loraine’s cousin Ella spoke up from the back of the van.

Jolene, Loraine’s other cousin, giggled behind her hand, while Katie’s boyfriend, Timothy, snorted like one of his father’s pigs.

“Remember, Loraine, you’re the one who suggested we take this trip to Hershey Park,” Jolene’s brother Andrew said. “So I would think you’d be looking forward to going on all the scary rides.”

“That’s right,” Ella’s brother Raymond chimed in. “Getting scared out of your wits is the whole reason for going to an amusement park.”

Wayne nudged Loraine’s arm again. “Don’t you remember how much fun we had when we went to the Fun Spot last Labor Day weekend?”

Loraine nodded. It had been fun to visit their local amusement park, but those rides weren’t nearly as frightening as the ones she’d heard about at Hershey Park. Even so, she was excited to take this trip. Ever since she was a little girl, she’d wanted to visit Hershey Park and Hershey’s Chocolate World. She loved chocolate and had heard there was a ride inside Chocolate World that showed visitors how the various kinds of Hershey candy were made. Their plans were to travel through the night, arrive in Hershey around 2:00 a.m., and check into the hotel their driver, Paul Crawford, had reserved for them. Then they would sleep a few hours and spend all day Saturday at the park. They planned to rest awhile on Sunday, and then maybe take a drive around the surrounding area. Early Monday morning, they would head for home. Loraine figured this trip could turn out to be more fun than if her parents had taken her when she was a girl.

Even though the Amish didn’t celebrate Labor Day, Timothy, Raymond, and Andrew worked at the trailer factory in Middlebury and had Monday off, as did Loraine, who worked at the hardware store in Shipshewana. Since neither Katie nor Ella had full-time jobs, being gone for three days wasn’t a problem. The same held true for Wayne, who farmed with his father. Only Jolene, a teacher at the local Amish schoolhouse, was scheduled to work, but she’d been able to get a substitute for Monday.

“I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m more anxious to eat some of that wunderbaar chocolate than go on any of the rides at Hershey Park.” Katie smiled and relaxed against the seat, obviously feeling better now that the bee was gone.

“Listen to you…talking about food already, and we’re not even to Ashley yet.” Timothy bumped Katie’s arm. “Can’t you at least wait until we leave the state of Indiana to talk about food?”

Loraine smiled. It was good to see everyone in such good spirits. Paul had been laughing and telling jokes since he’d picked them up at Jolene and Andrew’s house in Topeka.

“Hey Paul,” Timothy called, “Katie’s hungry, so we may have to stop soon and see that she’s fed.”

“I’ll be stopping before we get to Highway 69,” Paul said over his shoulder. “Will that be soon enough?”

Timothy needled Katie in the ribs. “What do you say? Can you hold out till then?”

She wrinkled her nose. “If you don’t stop teasing, I won’t go on any of the rides at Hershey Park with you.”

Loraine looked over at Wayne and rolled her eyes. Katie was her youngest cousin, and she’d recently turned nineteen. Sometimes, like now, Katie still acted like an immature adolescent. Timothy, who was twenty, wasn’t much better, always goofing around, mimicking others, and making all sorts of weird sounds. But the two of them seemed happy together and planned to be married in the fall of next year. Maybe by then, they’d both have grown up some.

“I wish people would quit cutting me off and tailgating,” Paul complained as he merged the van into heavier traffic. “Seems like everyone and his brother is headed somewhere for Labor Day weekend. If it’s this bad now, I can only imagine how it will be on the trip home.”

Wayne gave Loraine’s fingers a gentle squeeze. “This will be our last chance for an outing with our single friends before we become an old married couple, so we’d better enjoy every moment,” he whispered in her ear.

He looked at her so sweetly she wanted to tousle his thick auburn curls, the way she sometimes did when they were alone. In just a little over a month, she and Wayne would get married, and then she could tousle his hair to her heart’s content. By this time next year, they might even have a baby, and their lives would take a new direction—one that wouldn’t include weekend trips to amusement parks. A baby would mean changing dirty diapers, getting up in the middle of the night for feedings, and so many new, exciting things. Loraine could hardly wait to make a home and raise a family with Wayne. It would be a dream come true.

She leaned her head against Wayne’s shoulder and let her eyelids close. She felt safe and secure when she was with Wayne—enjoying his company and happy to know she’d soon be his wife. I wonder what our kinner will look like. Will they have my brown hair and brown eyes, or will they resemble Wayne with his curly auburn hair and hazel eyes? Will they be easygoing and even-tempered like Wayne? Will they have a servant’s heart—generous in spirit and sensitive to others in need?

In her mind’s eye, Loraine could see a sweet baby with curly auburn hair, gurgling and reaching chubby hands out to his father.

The van lurched suddenly, and Loraine’s eyes snapped open. “Wh–what happened?”

“We’re stopping for those snacks I promised you could get,” Paul said as he pulled off the road and into a gas station. “If anyone wants anything, you’d better get it now, because I won’t be stopping again until I need more gas.”

Loraine climbed out of the van ahead of her cousins and turned to smile at Katie. “Since you’re the one who said you were hungry, I guess you’d better make sure you stock up on plenty of snacks.”

With a sack full of snack foods, Loraine crawled back into the van and released a noisy yawn. “Someone wake me when we get there, would you?” She leaned her head on Wayne’s broad shoulder again. “I hope you don’t mind me using you for a pillow.”

He nuzzled the top of her stiff, white head covering with his nose. “I don’t mind at all.”

Loraine’s eyelids fluttered closed once more. She was almost asleep when Katie let out an ear-piercing yelp. “Ach! Another bee’s in the van!”

“Ella, roll down your window!”Timothy shouted. “Maybe the critter will fly out like the last one did.”

Ella quickly did as he requested, but the bee kept buzzing and zipping all around.

“What’s going on back there?” Paul called over his shoulder. “What’s all the ruckus about?”

At the sound of Ella’s shrill scream, Loraine’s gaze darted to the front window. A semi-truck headed straight for them!

Paul jerked the wheel, and the van lurched to the right. As the semi roared past, it slammed into the side of their vehicle. The van skidded off the road and smacked a telephone pole. It flipped onto its side and spun around. Metal crunching! Breaking glass! Screaming voices! Deafening silence. Loraine was sure everyone was dead.

CHAPTER 2

Rivulets of sweat trickled down Loraine’s bodice as she stood in front of the window inside one of the waiting rooms at the hospital in Fort Wayne, watching the last orange strand of sky fade into darkness. Her family and the families of those who’d been riding in the van with her should be arriving soon. Oh, how she wished she had better news for the parents of those who had died.

Loraine pressed her forehead against the window and closed her eyes, trying to shut out the memory of the accident.

She took a few short breaths and tried to relax, but it was no use. This terrible nightmare was real and would not go away. If she could only wake up tomorrow morning and find that everything was all right—the way it had been before they’d gotten into the van. If Paul hadn’t turned around to see what the commotion was about. If she and her friends had only stayed home today. But all the ifs wouldn’t change a thing. The accident had happened, and Loraine, along with the others who survived, would have to deal with it.

Loraine turned away from the window and glanced at her cousin Katie, slouched in a chair across the room. Wearing a blank stare, Katie looked at the floor as though she were in a daze. As far as Loraine knew, she and Katie were the only ones who’d escaped serious injury, although they did have several bumps and bruises.

What can I say to her? How can I offer comfort to her hurting soul? Loraine drew in a deep breath and made her way across the room.

“There’s a vending machine in the hall. Can I get you something? Maybe a cup of coffee or a bottle of water?” she asked, taking a seat beside her cousin.

Katie lifted her head but stared straight ahead, knuckles white as she gripped the edge of the chair as though she might fall off if she let go.

Loraine shifted in her seat, unsure of what to say or do. Finally, she went down on her knees in front of Katie. Gently, she pried Katie’s fingers loose and held them in her hands. “Please, talk to me, Katie. Tell me what’s on your heart.”

Katie blinked a couple of times. “T–Timothy’s dead.” Her chin trembled, and her voice came out in a squeak.

Loraine nodded as tears pricked her eyes. “I’m so sorry for your loss, Katie. I’m sorry for everyone’s loss.”

Katie pulled her hands away and folded her arms. “I wish we’d never gotten in that van. I wish we’d stayed home where we were safe. I wish Timothy wasn’t—” Her voice trailed off, and her mouth snapped shut with an audible click.

“Katie, please say something. It’s all right to cry. Don’t hold your feelings in. Don’t shut me out.”

Katie didn’t utter a word. It was as though an invisible wall had been erected between them, and Loraine’s cousin had withdrawn to her own little world.

Loraine rose from the floor and began to pace, sending up to heaven a silent prayer. Dear Lord, please comfort Katie and be with the doctors who are working on the others. Please help me know what to say when their families arrive, and please keep my Wayne alive.

A middle-aged man with thinning brown hair entered the room. He smiled and held out his hand to Loraine. “I’m Robert Taylor, the hospital chaplain.”

She shook his hand. “I’m Loraine Miller, and that’s my cousin Katie Miller.” She motioned to Katie, but Katie gave no response—just sat with her lips compressed and her eyes tightly shut.

“I heard about the accident you and your friends were in,” he said. “I wanted you to know that I’m here to help in any way I can.”

“I’m sure everyone will need it as much as I do.” Loraine looked at Katie again. “Katie’s boyfriend was killed in the accident, and I think she’s in shock. She’s only said a few words to me since we left the emergency room and came in here. She seems to have shut me out.”

“I’ll try talking to her.” The chaplain moved away from Loraine and took a seat beside Katie. “I’m the chaplain here, Katie. I’d like to pray with you,” he said in a gentle, comforting tone.

“If you’d like to talk about what happened or how you feel, I’m here to listen.”

Several minutes passed, and then Katie’s lips started to move. She spoke so quietly Loraine couldn’t make out the words. She moved back to the window, praying that the chaplain would be able to get through to Katie—help her deal with the pain.

Someone touched Loraine’s shoulder, and she whirled around. Uncle Alvin and Aunt Leah, Jolene and Andrew’s parents, stood behind her with worried expressions.

“We came as soon as we heard about the accident,” Uncle Alvin said. “They wouldn’t give us much information in the emergency room. Just said the doctors are still working on our son and daughter and that we should wait in here.” His forehead wrinkled as he shot Loraine a pleading look. “Do you know anything?”

“Not a lot. The last thing I was told was that Andrew had suffered cuts, bruises, and a broken arm.”

“One of the nurses said something about possible damage to Jolene’s auditory nerves, but that’s all I know.”

Aunt Leah glanced anxiously at the door. “I wish they’d let me go in. I need to see how my kinner are doing. I’m so worried about them.”

“I understand. I’m worried, too.” Loraine placed a hand on her aunt’s arm, hoping to offer a little reassurance. Reassurance she really needed herself.

“What about the others? Was anyone seriously injured?” Uncle Alvin wanted to know.

Loraine nodded. “Our driver, Paul Crawford, was killed, and so were Katie’s boyfriend, Timothy, and Ella’s brother, Raymond.”

“Ach! That’s baremlich. “Aunt Leah’s eyes widened as shock registered on her face. “What about the others?”

“Ella has a concussion, and I was told that Wayne has some serious injuries, but I don’t know what or how bad they are.” Loraine swallowed a couple of times. The not knowing clawed at her heart and made her body feel numb. If Wayne died, she’d probably go into shock the way Katie had.

For lack of anything better to do, Loraine motioned to the chairs across the room. “Should we have a seat while we wait to hear how Jolene, Andrew, and the others are doing?”

She introduced them to Chaplain Taylor, and they all took seats. Aunt Leah clasped Katie’s hand. “I’m sorry about Timothy.”

“Have Timothy’s folks been notified?” Aunt Leah’s question was directed at Loraine.

“Timothy’s parents do know about the accident,” Loraine replied, “but they haven’t arrived yet and don’t know he died soon after we got here.”

Uncle Alvin grunted. “I hope we find out about Jolene and Andrew soon. I can’t stand the waiting.”

“I know it’s hard to wait, but I’m sure you’ll be told something soon,” Chaplain Taylor said.

With a childlike cry, Wayne’s mother, Ada, rushed into the room. Her husband, Crist, followed.

Ada clasped Loraine’s shoulder so tightly she winced. “Have you heard any news about our son?”

Loraine rose from her chair and gave Ada a hug. “He’s still being examined, but I was told earlier that he suffered some serious injuries.”

“I—I don’t know. I’m hoping we’ll hear something soon. I’ve been hoping and praying that he’s not—”

“We’re waiting to hear how our son and daughter are, too,” Aunt Leah spoke up.

Ada’s lips compressed into a thin, tight line. “So we don’t know how anyone is?”

Loraine swallowed around the lump in her throat. “We do know that three people died in the crash.”

Ada groaned as she slowly shook her head. “I knew going to Hershey Park on a holiday weekend was a bad idea. I told Wayne that, too, but, no, he wouldn’t listen to my advice. He wanted to please you, so he agreed to go.” She lifted a shaky hand and pushed a wayward strand of grayish-brown hair under her stiff white head covering. “If Wayne’s seriously hurt, then I’m sure you realize there won’t be a wedding for the two of you in October.”

Loraine cringed. She didn’t need that reminder. She wished she could change the subject—say something to lighten the mood. Only she didn’t know what to say, especially when she felt so discouraged and frightened.

Crist patted his wife’s arm. “Let’s not put the buggy before the horse. Our son’s injuries might not be as bad as we think. Wayne and Loraine might still be able to get married as planned.”

“Would either of you like a cup of coffee or something to eat?” Loraine asked Wayne’s folks.

A few minutes later, a young man entered the room and announced, “My name is Dr. Mayhew. I’m looking for members of Wayne Lambright’s family.” He glanced around the room. “Are any of you related to him?”

“I’m his father.” Crist motioned to Ada. “This is his mother.” He nodded at Loraine. “This is Wayne’s fiancée. Do you have information about our son’s condition? We need to know—is he going to live?”

Dr. Mayhew took the empty seat on the other side of Crist. When he cleared his throat, his forehead wrinkled into deep furrows, making him look older than he was. “Your son has several broken ribs, cuts, and contusions. His worst injury, however, is to his left leg. I’m afraid it’s going to have to be amputated above the knee.”

Loraine drew in a sharp breath and grabbed the edge of the chair to keep from toppling over. Wayne was a farmer. He needed two good legs. How would he deal with this tragic news? How would it affect their plans to be married?

“You—you want to cut off my son’s leg?” Ada’s voice trembled, and her eyes widened like those of a panicked horse. “Wayne’s our only child! It would break my heart and his, too, if—”

“I’m sorry, but there’s no other way.” The doctor shook his head. “We can’t save his leg. If we don’t amputate, he could die.”

Crist offered his wife a weak smile and slipped his arm around her shoulders. “We should be thankful our son’s still alive. It could have been worse, you know. He might have died instantly like some of the others who’d been riding in the van. If the doctor can save Wayne’s life by taking his leg, then we’ll give our permission.”

Ada glared at Loraine. “This is all your fault! If you hadn’t insisted on him going to Hershey Park with you—”

“Now, Ada,” Crist said in a calming voice, “don’t cast any blame; it won’t undo what’s been done. Everyone in that van went of their own free will. Loraine didn’t force Wayne or anyone else to go.”

“That may be true, but you know our son—he’d do anything she asked him to do. He’s never been able to say no to her.” Ada’s voice lowered to a whisper, as her gaze dropped to the floor. “I—I wish he’d chosen to marry Fern Bontrager.”

A tremor shot through Loraine’s body as hot tears pushed against her eyelids. She hadn’t realized until now that Ada Lambright didn’t want her as a daughter-in-law.

CHAPTER 3

Whispered voices. Strange smells. A heaviness in his body he couldn’t explain. Where was he? What was going on?

“Jah, Wayne.” He felt the warmth of his mother’s fingers on his hand. He heard the sadness in her voice. Something was terribly wrong.

Wayne’s eyes finally opened, and two blurry faces came into view. “Wh–where am I?”

“You were in an accident,” Pop said. “The van you were riding in hit a telephone pole, and—”

Pop’s voice faded as Wayne’s memories took over. There was a bee in the van. Katie was screaming. Paul turned around. A semi-truck came at them. Paul swerved. They hit a pole. Someone screamed. Then everything went black.

“Loraine’s all right. She and Katie suffered some bumps and bruises, but neither of them was seriously injured,” Mom said.

A sense of relief washed over Wayne. He wouldn’t know what to do if anything happened to Loraine. She was the love of his life—soon to be his bride. “Wh–what about the others? Were any of them hurt?”

“Jolene and Ella suffered head injuries, but from what we heard, Ella’s was only a mild concussion.” Mom pursed her lips. “Jolene suffered damage to her auditory nerves and lost her hearing.”

Pop nodded. “You’re right, it’s terrible. Now she’ll have to learn to read lips and speak with her hands.”

“Andrew has a broken arm and a few other minor injuries, but he’ll be all right once he heals.” Pop slowly shook his head. “The other fellows weren’t so lucky though.”

Wayne gulped on the sob rising in his throat. His friends couldn’t be dead. There had to be a mistake. “Wh–where’s Loraine? I need to see her!”

“She’s in the waiting room.” Mom glanced over at Pop. “We thought it would be best if we spoke to you first. There’s something you need to know.”

“My brain feels kind of foggy right now, but I—I think I’m okay.” Wayne managed a weak smile. “I’m alive, anyway.”

“You have lots of bumps, bruises, and a few broken ribs, but the worst injury was to your left leg. It—” Mom covered her mouth with the palm of her hand as her voice broke on a sob.

“What’s wrong with my leg?” Wayne struggled to keep his eyes open. He needed some answers. He needed them now.

Pop laid a hand on Wayne’s shoulder. “I’m sorry to be tellin’ you this, son, but you lost it.”

Mom patted his arm as if she were soothing a fussy baby. “The doctor took your leg from just above the knee.”

Wayne’s head fell back on the pillow as the stark realization of what she’d said settled over him like a dark cloud. He had only one leg. He was a farmer. He needed two good legs. He was getting married soon. His world had been turned upside down!

Sweat trickled from Wayne’s forehead and dripped into his eyes. Mom wiped it away with a tissue. “We feel your loss, too,” she murmured, “but we’ll get through this tragedy together.”

“I think you should ask her those questions.” Pop turned to Mom and motioned to the door. “Why don’t you go to the waiting room and get Loraine now?”

Wayne’s hand shook as he massaged his throbbing head. After the series of shocks he’d suffered today, he needed something to settle his nerves and block out the pain.

At the sound of Ada’s voice, Loraine jumped out of her seat. “Did—did you tell him about his leg?”

“Not well. I think he’s more upset about losing two of his friends than his leg though.”

“Jah.” Ada glanced around. “I don’t see your folks anywhere. Haven’t they arrived yet?”

“No, but I’m sure they’ll be here soon.” Loraine moved toward the doorway. “I’m ready to see Wayne.”

As Loraine and Ada walked toward the elevator, the echo of their footsteps resounded in the hall. It reminded Loraine of her horse pulling her buggy up a hill. Clip…clop…clip…clop.

“I hope you won’t say anything to upset Wayne,” Ada said as they stepped up to the elevator.

Ada pursed her lips. “I don’t think you should mention anything about marrying him. At least not right now.”

“We may not be able to get married on the day we planned, but we’ll be married as soon as he’s sufficiently healed.”

A look of shock registered on Ada’s face. “Then you’re not going to back out on the marriage?”

“I—I just thought….” Ada sighed. “I assumed you wouldn’t want to marry a man with a handicap such as Wayne’s.”

Hoping, isn’t that what you mean? “Wayne’s handicap doesn’t affect the way I feel about him,” Loraine said without voicing her thoughts.

“You say that now, but you don’t know how hard things are going to be for Wayne in the days ahead. He won’t be able to farm anymore, and he’ll need lots of care.”

“I realize things will be difficult. Wayne will have many adjustments to make, but we’ll get through it together.” The elevator door zipped open, and Loraine stepped in behind Ada. She couldn’t believe the woman thought she wouldn’t want to marry her son because he’d lost his leg. But then, after Ada’s earlier remarks, Loraine was sure Ada wanted Wayne to marry Fern instead of her.

The elevator opened, and as Loraine followed Ada down the hospital corridor, she sent up a silent prayer. Lord, please give me the right words to say to Wayne. Help me not to break down in tears when I see him, and show me a way to let Ada know how much I care for her son.

“Here we are.” Ada halted in front of a door, drew in a sharp breath, and pushed it open.

Loraine stepped into the room. Her heart pounded against her rib cage, and the scene that greeted her blurred her vision. Wayne looked so pale and helpless lying in his bed. He looked like a sick little boy.

I can give in to my tears some other time, Loraine told herself. Right now I need to be strong and positive for Wayne.

“Let’s leave these two alone so they can talk,” Crist said to Ada. He moved toward the door.

At the door, Crist turned and gave Loraine a reassuring smile. “We’ll be in the waiting room.”

Loraine waited until Wayne’s parents left the room before she moved to the side of his bed. “H–how are you feeling?”

She nodded, barely able to speak around the lump in her throat. Wayne had never spoken to her so harshly. But then, he’d never lost a leg before.

She seated herself in the chair beside his bed. “It means there will be some adjustments to make, and—”

“I’m never going to be any better, Loraine. I’ll always be without my leg.”

“I want my own leg, not an artificial one; it would slow me down. I’m a farmer. Farmers need two good legs.” A deep groan escaped his lips. “If I can’t farm, I can’t support a wife and family. If I can’t offer financial support, then I won’t get married.”

“Maybe you can find a different job—one that doesn’t require you to be on your feet so much.”

“I don’t want another job. I’ve never wanted to do anything but farm.” Wayne shook his head. “We can’t be married, Loraine. I won’t ask you to make that sacrifice.”

“Jah, it would.” His head lolled to one side, and his eyelids fluttered as though it took all his strength to keep them open.

Loraine was tempted to argue about whether they could get married or not but knew it was best not to say too much. Wayne was weak and needed time to heal from his surgery. They could speak of this again when he felt a bit stronger.

He nodded. “If I’d known we were gonna be in an accident, I wouldn’t have agreed to go to Hershey Park. I wish now that I’d said no.”

Loraine’s spine went rigid. Did Wayne blame her for the accident, too? “I–I’m so sorry. I wish I hadn’t suggested the trip. I wish there hadn’t been a bee in the van. I wish Paul—” She gulped on a sob, unable to finish her sentence.

She nodded. “She took it pretty hard. So did Timothy’s and Raymond’s parents.”

With an ache in her soul such as she’d never felt before, Loraine tiptoed out of the room, wondering what the future held for her and Wayne.

CHAPTER 4

The next few days went by in a blur as Loraine and her family comforted those who’d lost loved ones and those who were dealing with injuries. The day when they would attend Timothy’s and Raymond’s funerals arrived. Not everyone, however, would be in attendance. Wayne and Jolene were still in the hospital.

“Are you doing all right?” Mom asked when Loraine entered the kitchen that morning. “I see dark circles under your eyes, and your face looks awfully pale.”

Loraine pushed a wisp of hair off her forehead and sighed. “I haven’t slept well since the night of the accident, but I’m sure there are others in much worse shape than me this morning.”

Mom nodded. “I feel terrible for my sister Verna. It’s not natural for a parent to lose a child. It doesn’t seem possible that Raymond is dead.”

The ache in Loraine’s heart struck swiftly, and she nearly doubled over from the pain. She felt so guilty for suggesting they make the trip to Pennsylvania. “If I hadn’t asked Paul to drive us to Hershey Park, everyone would still be alive and well.”

Mom left the stove where she’d been frying bacon and gave Loraine a hug. “I want you to stop blaming yourself. There was no way you could have known when you planned the trip that it would end in a tragic accident.”

Loraine sniffed as a film of tears obscured her vision. “In my head I know that, but my heart says something different.”

“It’s hard not to blame ourselves when things go wrong, but you need to remember that the accident wouldn’t have happened if Paul had kept his eyes on the road.”

“He made a mistake, but I’m sure he didn’t do it on purpose.” Mom’s shoulders lifted in a brief shrug. “Rather than casting blame, we need to concentrate on helping our family and friends get through the funerals. It’s going to be a difficult day.”

Loraine nodded. “I’ve hired a driver to take me to the hospital later this afternoon. I’m sure Wayne and Jolene would like to know how everything goes at the funerals, since they’re unable to be with us today. Besides, I need to see how they’re both doing.”

“Speaking of Wayne,” Mom said, “I’ve been wanting to talk to you about something.”

“Jah.” Mom cleared her throat a couple of times. “I talked with Ada at church yesterday, and she said because of Wayne’s injuries, there won’t be a wedding for the two of you after all.”

Irritation welled in Loraine’s soul. “He won’t be well enough for us to get married in October as we’d planned, but as soon as he’s feeling strong enough, we’ll set a new wedding date.” She saw no point in mentioning that Wayne had said they couldn’t be married at all because of his handicap. She also chose not to mention that she’d overheard Ada say she wished her son had picked Fern Bontrager to marry. It hurt too much to talk about it. Besides, once Wayne felt better, he would change his mind. By then, she hoped to be on better terms with his mother. Things had to work out; she couldn’t allow herself to think otherwise.

Mom drummed her fingers along the edge of the table. “I have some concerns about your marrying Wayne.”

“I’m sure you must realize that his disability will probably keep him from farming.”

“He can find another job—something that won’t require two good legs. Something he can do from a wheelchair, if necessary.”

“Loraine’s right,” Dad said as he entered the kitchen. “Wayne may have lost a leg, but he’s a hard worker with a determined spirit. I’m sure he’ll find a job that will allow him to provide adequately for our daughter.”

Loraine swiped at the tears dribbling down her cheeks. She knew from what Wayne had said to her at the hospital the other day that he, too, was worried he couldn’t provide for her.

The things he said were only the shock of learning he’s lost a leg, she told herself. Once he’s had a chance to think more about it, he’ll realize we can work through this together. That’s what people who love each other do.

As Ella Yoder stood in front of her brother’s plain wooden coffin, a sense of determination welled in her soul. In a short time, family and friends would arrive for Raymond’s funeral. Later this afternoon, they would go to the Lehmans’ for Timothy’s funeral. Ella would need to remain strong. She’d have to look out for her younger siblings and take care of her mother’s needs. Mama had taken the news of Raymond’s death hard. She’d barely been able to cope since then.

Ella was glad the injuries she had sustained weren’t serious. Her concussion had been mild, and the cuts and bruises on her legs and arms would heal quickly. She wasn’t sure how quickly Mama would heal however. Truth be told, Mama might never get over losing her firstborn son.

“People are beginning to arrive,” Papa said. “Loraine’s here with her family. She wants to speak with you.”

“Oh, okay.” Ella stepped into the living room where Loraine stood with her parents, Amos and Priscilla.

“I don’t know. I’ve hired a driver to take me to see him later today. I should know more then.”

“I’m sure it’s hard for Wayne not to be at his friends’ funerals today.”

Tears pooled in Loraine’s eyes. “He doesn’t want to get married. He thinks he’ll be a burden on me.” Her voice lowered to a whisper. “Mom doesn’t want me to marry Wayne either. She as much as said so this morning.” Her chin trembled. “Wayne’s mamm is against us getting married, too. I think she’s been against it from the very beginning. I just didn’t realize it until the night of the accident.”

“What are you going to do? I mean, if Wayne wants to call off the wedding, and your mamm and Wayne’s mamm think you shouldn’t get married—”

“I don’t care what they think. I love Wayne, and I promised to marry him.” Loraine lifted her chin a notch. “I’m going to keep that promise, no matter what anyone says.”

“He will. He’s just confused and hurting right now.” Loraine slipped her arm around Ella’s shoulder. “Enough about me. How are you feeling this morning? Does your head still hurt?”

Ella touched her forehead. “It feels better than it did a few days ago. I’m worried about Mama though. She’s having a hard time dealing with Raymond’s death.”

“Jah.” Ella glanced toward the door. “Oh, there’s Katie and her family. I wonder how she’s holding up.”

Loraine could tell Ella was doing her best to put on a brave front. Worrying about others seemed to be how she’d chosen to deal with her pain. Ella had always been a nurturing person, even when they were young girls. Loraine thought about the time her kitten had drowned in the creek. Ella had been so sympathetic that she’d given up her own kitten so Loraine wouldn’t cry.

“Let’s go talk to Katie before the service begins.” Ella linked arms with Loraine and led her across the room.

Wayne grunted as a youthful-looking nurse with short brown hair stuck a thermometer under his tongue. How was he supposed to answer her question with something foreign in his mouth?

When she removed the thermometer, she asked again, “Is the pain medicine working for you?”

“That’s to be expected.” She slipped the blood pressure cuff around his arm. “Are you in pain right now?”

When she removed the cuff, she listened to his heart and checked the bandages on the stub of his leg. “The doctor will be in later to examine your leg. Is there anything I can get for you?”

“No, and even if we did, I wouldn’t be interested in watching it. I have better things to do with my time. At least I used to,” he added bitterly.

The nurse quirked an eyebrow and placed the call button close to his hand. “Let us know if you need anything,” she said before leaving the room.

Wayne reached for the Bible on the nightstand by his bed. Chaplain Taylor had left it there when he’d dropped by Wayne’s room the other day.

Wayne opened it randomly, and his gaze came to rest on John 11:43–44: “And when he thus had spoken, he cried with a loud voice, Lazarus, come forth. And he that was dead came forth, bound hand and foot with graveclothes: and his face was bound about with a napkin. Jesus saith unto them, Loose him, and let him go.”

The page blurred, and Wayne blinked several times, hoping to keep the tears he felt pushing against his eyelids from falling onto his face. Today, two of my good friends will be buried. Tomorrow is Paul’s funeral. If Jesus were here, He could bring all three of them back to life. He did it for Lazarus; He could do it for my friends.

Wayne’s stomach twisted as his thoughts raced on. I wish it had been me who’d been killed in the accident. It would have been better than living with only one leg. I can’t marry Loraine. I won’t be able to farm anymore, and I wouldn’t be happy doing anything else.

Wayne thought about the excitement he’d felt when he’d climbed into that van with Loraine and the others. The memory of how happy he and Loraine had been that afternoon shot through him like a knife. He was no longer a happy, excited, soon-to-be groom. He was an ugly half-man with a missing limb.

A huge knot formed in his throat as helpless fury swept over him. He grabbed his water glass and hurled it across the room, wincing when it smashed against the wall and broke. Nothing would ever be the same for him. Nothing!

CHAPTER 5

A feeling of heaviness settled on Loraine’s chest as she looked out the front window of her father’s buggy. A slow parade of black buggies inched their way up the hill toward the cemetery. Two funerals in one day; it was too much to bear. First Raymond’s service this morning, and now they were about to bury Timothy.

She swallowed past the lump in her throat. Paul’s funeral would be tomorrow, and many of the Amish from her community would attend his contemporary service as well. Paul and his wife, Rachel, had moved to Goshen five years ago, and he’d begun driving for the Amish soon after that. They were a middle-aged, childless couple, with no family living in the area. Loraine figured now that Paul was gone, Rachel would probably move back to Pennsylvania, where two of her sisters lived.

“We’re here,” Dad said as he guided their horse and buggy into the grassy area outside the cemetery.

When Loraine and her family climbed down from the buggy, her gaze came to rest on the open-bed hearse holding Timothy’s coffin. Her heart pounded as the oilcloth cover was lifted and the coffin was carried to the gravesite. The mourners followed solemnly behind.

Once the coffin was set in place, the bishop read a hymn: “Ah, good night to those I love so; Good night to my heart’s desire; Good night to those hearts full of woe; Out of love they weep distressed. Tho’ I from you pass away; In the grave you lay my clay; I will rise again securely, Greet you in eternity.”

Loraine glanced at Timothy’s parents, Calvin and Ruby. Calvin’s shoulders shook as he struggled with his emotions, and Ruby, sobbing uncontrollably, had to be held up by her husband and oldest son, William.

A group of men sang a song while the grave was filled in by the pallbearers. Loraine’s gaze went to Katie, leaning on her mother’s shoulder. The poor girl’s face looked drawn, and dark circles under her eyes underscored her exhaustion. She probably hadn’t slept much since the day of the accident. Katie’s vacant stare sent chills up Loraine’s spine. It wasn’t a look of acceptance; it was a look of defeat.

When the song ended, the bishop asked the congregation to silently pray the Lord’s Prayer. As the others moved away from the gravesite, Katie remained near Timothy’s grave, rocking back and forth on her heels. Finally, Katie’s father led her away.

As Loraine walked back to her father’s buggy, she lifted her tearful gaze to the cloudless sky. Help Katie and all of us who are hurting today. I thank You, Lord, that Wayne’s still alive. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost him.

When Ella entered the Lehmans’ house, where the second meal of the day would soon be served, she spotted Katie in one corner of the living room, standing in front of the window with a vacant stare.