I would like to thank JoAn Blackmon for planting the seed that grew into the first Home Matters class and eventually this book. Thanks go out to all Home Matters class participants, you made teaching so much fun! To Andi Ball – I appreciate your willingness to apply my book in its rough stages as we worked (long distance) on some of your home matters. Your insight and suggestions have been implemented throughout this book. I am grateful to all who have prayed for me during this process – you know who you are!

Saving the best for last, I want to thank my husband Len for making my dreams come true, and writing this book is one of them. Doing life with you becomes better and better as we continue to encounter one adventure after another…

And finally, I thank The Lord Jesus Christ for giving me the desire in my heart to be an encourager.

Dear Reader,

To think it all started with an income tax return! In the first year of our marriage, my husband Len had the daunting task of preparing our income tax return and needed to fill in my occupation. He listed me as a “housewife.” As I looked at that, I thought, at least he had not filled in “none” or “does not work.” He already knew that the discrepancy between the perception and the reality of working in the home was a sore spot with me and how much I resented the comment, “Oh, you don’t work.” Although I did not have a job outside of our home, I worked—all the time it seemed. But I must admit that I did not like my occupation being described as a “housewife” either. I was married to my husband, Len, not my house! I soon realized and began to verbalize that I was a “homemaker”! Over the years I have heard terms like “household engineer” and even “domestic goddess,” but I think I will stick with “homemaker”; it more accurately describes what I want my job to be all about. I was in the business of making our house a home, truly a challenging task in some of the places we have lived!

I was asked by a pastor in my church if I would consider teaching a class about our homes. She asked me because she encountered women on a regular basis who were struggling with basic home-related skills. This caused them so much stress that they could not even consider their homes as places they could enjoy. I already had a different subject in mind, but teaching about our homes excited me!

The outline came together quickly for a course I would call “Home Matters.” This class was one of fourteen offered at Morning Grace, a large weekly ministry our church offers to women in our community. I have had the privilege of teaching it several times to women of all ages over a period of three years—and I can’t wait to teach it again! Teaching this class brought me great joy as I watched confidence build in the women who were learning to manage and enjoy their own homes.

Reaching now beyond the classroom, I am offering this book to you to encourage, instruct, and share with you what I have learned and experienced. Creating a home that glorifies the Lord and making the home-front “top priority” can change your family dynamics more than anything else. Comments and real-life examples are included throughout the book to remind you that you are not alone in this endeavor.

An important component of this book is inviting God into our homes and the management of them. He truly does care about what concerns us. At the end of each chapter you will find a section, titled “Heart Matters,” where practical help is offered in personal areas we often struggle with. I tried to relate this section with the physical area of your home you are working on, like “airing dirty laundry” (gossip and negative self-talk) for the laundry chapter; “preparing a spiritual meal” in the kitchen chapter; and “de-cluttering our minds, not just our offices” in the office chapter. Something wonderful happens when our everyday life and our love for God merge. We realize that we never have to feel alone. I hope you discover that Jesus is interested in every detail of your life and your home, and that you can invite Him into your mess—no matter where it is! So if reclaiming your home and filling it with peace, joy and the presence of God interests you, I think you will enjoy this component of the book. The Scriptures I have included throughout the book are mostly from the New Living Translation, which is one of my personal favorites. If the Scripture reference is from another translation, that will be noted in parenthesis.

Home management is not easy. When clutter and disorganization get the upper hand, stress is sure to follow. You may be the type of person who likes to have everything out where you can see it; there is a way to do that in an organized fashion. Maybe you are the extreme opposite; there is a way to keep things put away without becoming obsessive about it. Or perhaps you find yourself somewhere in between the two. Home Matters is designed to help you discover what will work for you, right where you are, with what you have. You will experience the added benefits of lowering your stress level and keeping more money in your pocket as well as learning simple ways to keep your home organized and clean. But most important of all, you will learn how to make your home a peaceful and enjoyable place where you will want to be and even want to share with others!

Some of my friends refer to themselves as the CEOs of their homes. Maybe you have never considered homemaking in that light before, but that is a pretty good job description! Like companies that develop their core values and articulate them in their mission statements, you will have the opportunity to do that too. Crafting a mission statement for your home will help you see and communicate to your family and others what is most important to you. To help you get started, I will share some examples from participants in a Home Matters class. Some women have even framed their mission statements and placed them in a central location, providing a constant reminder of what they want their homes to be about.

Practical tips and tricks of the trade that really work: we all love them! I have included some of my favorites; I really use them! Some are original, and many I have discovered through close friends and friends I’ll never personally know. Thanks to you, my life is easier and my job more enjoyable and fun.

In my forty-year (and counting) vocation of making a home, I have been blessed to have had others encourage me along the way. It is my privilege to do that for you, cheering you on in all of your Home Matters. I extend to you an invitation to relieve your stress and love your home, because home matters!

Bringing organization to your home through the de-cluttering process can be a daunting task. This chapter will give you the boost you need to help you start and keep you going. You will meet head-on what to do when you feel overwhelmed. You will learn a simple system that really works. But before we get to that, perhaps you can relate to the comment I most commonly hear, “I don’t know where to start.” It is easy to stall and feel like giving up before you even begin de-cluttering! If you are willing to commit yourself to the process and ask the Lord to help you, you will find lasting success in bringing order and peace to your home.

“It is a cinch by the inch and hard by the yard.” We know this statement is true, but most of us want our homes clutter-free and organized overnight! Overwhelming tasks are manageable when you take small bites; this will keep you from giving up. I want to help you discover what works for you. A by-product of managing your own home efficiently is confidence. Getting a handle on the best way for you to manage constant clutter will give you that confidence and also provide a home that you will enjoy living in. There is no shortage of great ideas for your home, but often those ideas can become distractions from the real task at hand: de-cluttering! It is easier to implement fun ideas and decorating after you have organized an area. This might be a good reward or motivation for you, once the hard work is done. Another concept to put into practice is to “eliminate and concentrate.” By eliminating the mess and concentrating on the rest, you will experience how having “less is best”—and much easier to manage and maintain!

I would like to invite you to evaluate your home by taking a stress test—relax, we are not headed for the treadmill, although you might feel like you are getting a work-out! Your home evaluation will help you identify the season of life you are currently in, what you enjoy most about your home and what you don’t. The evaluation test is designed to help you define the areas in your home that stress you the most. These areas are good places to start, because you will gain the most benefit there. In those areas of your home that are working for you, the ones that you rate low on your test, keep doing what you are doing! The intention of this book is to reduce your stress, not to make more work for you! If your stress level is similar in most areas, you might want to travel room by room, chapter by chapter. If your kitchen and laundry area are off the charts, be encouraged: there will probably come a time when you will be cooking and laundering for fewer people. (This possibility was hard for me to even imagine when I was up to my neck in dirty dishes and laundry!)

After you have read about “The System” and rated your rooms, I would encourage you to officially start with the entrance of your home (Chapter 2). Because the entrance is not really a room, de-cluttering and beautifying this area are fairly easy. Starting here will allow you to become familiar with how The System works on a smaller scale. And you will enjoy the fruits of your labor every time you enter your home!

Take your time in answering these questions, and then indicate the stress level in each room of your home. Your answers will help you to define your current living situation and how you feel about your home. I realize that you might be tempted to rate each area high if you are having an overwhelming day. If you feel that way, why not take the test when you can evaluate more accurately? Your honest evaluation will serve you well in helping you know where you want to start decluttering, organizing and making that area of your home serve you better. This assessment and evaluation will also help you see which areas are already working for you.

I want to share with you a basic system that many people use for organizing. You may be familiar with it, or maybe it’s new to you. The best part about this system is that it works and can be applied to any room or area of your home. As you begin the de-cluttering process, you will sort everything into at least three categories: things to throw away; things to give away; and things to store/put away. I can still feel overwhelmed with an area I am trying to de-clutter until I remember this system. Then I feel instant relief because I know I have a workable plan!

Another name for the de-cluttering process is “purging.” The verb to purge means to remove something that is undesirable. Undesirable items can be ones that you are not using—and we all probably need to get rid of some of those! It is easy to collect things you think you need or want and then end up not using them. They are taking up valuable space where you could put items you are using. When you are purging, remember to only get rid of items that you actually own—make sure they haven’t been borrowed! If you have borrowed items, create a box and mark it “Items to be returned”. Even if you have had the item so long that you thought it was yours, even if you are tempted to think that the owner has perhaps forgotten about it, swallow your pride and return it anyway. Take care of that right away by putting the items in your car today! I loaned a book to a friend I didn’t remember buying. I was pretty embarrassed when we opened it and saw another friend’s name in it! Fortunately the owner was glad to pass it on.

Here are some questions to help you in your decisions on what to purge:

Throw away anything that is obviously trash and cannot be recycled. Trash is anything that is broken and you cannot fix, as well as those bits and pieces whose purpose and function you have no idea of. If this is hard for you, thinking you might need those bits and pieces someday, you can toss them all in a box marked with that name. You might as well also throw out all those keys that go to who-knowswhich locks, unless you are willing to try them in every lock. If you absolutely cannot part with the keys, add them to your “bits & pieces” box. Did you know that purging can energize YOU? This process is not an easy one; it is hard work, but you should start feeling really good once you get started!

There are many places that will take your gently used items; some of these companies will even pick them up from your home. Ask friends and neighbors or check local charities for drop-off/pick-up information. You might consider consigning your items; again, ask around to see what your best option might be. Refrain from donating anything that you know you should throw away; only give away things that still have use.

Some clothing needs to go into a rag bag, saved for your next painting project, or put in the trash. You can remove buttons or embellishments before you toss the item, as long as you have use for them. Be sure to store these where you can find them, maybe with your sewing or craft supplies. Once I have a load to donate, I put it in my car (front seat) and drop it off the next time I am out. This final step really helps the process move along, and I enjoy the feeling as I drive away one load lighter!

Putting things away is a constant process because people just don’t put things back where they belong! “A place for everything and everything in its place” is not just a nice saying. We must resist the temptation to lay things down anywhere. Anywhere becomes everywhere, and before you know it clutter is out of control again. It is easier to keep things put away once you have established places for them. Implementing this principle will save you hours, perhaps years, over your lifetime of not having to look for things and is key to winning the war against clutter. I was going to say “key to living clutter-free,” but that’s not possible! Life is messy and constantly needs to be cleaned up, and everyone encounters clutter that needs to be dealt with on a daily basis. If you have perfectionist tendencies, realizing that clutter is common should help you feel less frustrated and more normal. Another thing to consider when putting things away is to group items or things that you use together. This will make finding what you need easier and help you get a job done faster. When you are working on a project that will take some time to finish, gather your items and keep them together until you are done. Then replace your tools and supplies where they normally belong, so you will be able to find them when you need them again.

These are the items that you think you might still have use for. This is a tricky category because during the purging process it is easy to either keep things that you really don’t need or give away something that you should have kept. This is really not as bad as it sounds; I have done both! You can always get rid of something later when you realize that you really don’t need it. And it is well worth the paring-down effort, even if you have to repurchase something that you should have kept. Too many times we hang on to something “just in case” we might need it, someone in our family might need it, or we might meet someone who might need it! There is nothing certain about the word “might”; just take a deep breath and let it go.

Place occasionally used items in a box and store the box on a top shelf of a closet or a cupboard. Be sure to mark the category on a strip of painter’s tape adhered to the box. You can also mark the category and contents on a 3" x 5" index card— or do both. I like to use painter’s tape because it is easily removed and does not damage the box. The contents card can be attached to the box with painter’s tape or placed with other cards in a small file box. If you are storing a large number of boxes, you can use correlating numbers for your boxes and cards. Storing the boxes numerically in a storage area or garage makes retrieval easier. To find an item, locate the card and match the number on the card with the number on the box, and you’ll have the right box to locate the item that you need!

There will probably be some items that you really are not sure about. Place them in a box with a question mark on it. You could also write the contents on the box / card in the same way I just mentioned. Mark your calendar to review the contents of your box(es) or read through the card(s) in a few months. How do you feel about those items now? If you still are not sure, review in a few more months—as long as you have the space to store the box. You might ask a trusted friend for help with those items you are having difficulty parting with. She or he can help you identify if your attachment is a healthy one.

A good rule of thumb for memorabilia is to designate one box per family member and keep only what fits into that box. This forces everyone to choose what means the most to him or her. As I have gotten older, I have pitched items that I do not want my children to have to deal with. This might seem radical, but one day I tossed my high school yearbooks. I had just heard about friends who had to go through all of their mom’s things after her passing. This got me thinking: would my kids want to keep these or even look at them? I had not opened them once in our forty-plus years of marriage and had moved them too many times to count— even to Australia and back! This is my example and may be something you would never even consider. For those of you who might be feeling bad for me: don’t—I still have all of my high school pictures.

Now you know about The System that I will refer to throughout this book. As you can see, it is not a complicated process, although it is hard work! You will find that it will become easier the more you use it. You might consider asking a friend to join you in your de-cluttering and organizing process. You can encourage and also be accountable to each other—and don’t forget to celebrate when you both complete an area of your home.

Pardon me if I repeat this a few times throughout this book: seriously consider declaring a moratorium on buying anything during your de-cluttering process. The last thing you and I need is more stuff! Learning not to buy on impulse (even if it is a great deal) will save you a lot of money and help you to develop healthy spending habits. Making do with what you have is discovering how to be resourceful. This lost art is making a comeback—and feels good. Rewarding yourself with “well thought out” purchases after you have completed de-cluttering and organizing an area might be good motivation for you.

Although there are many types of companies we can go to for different services, we find common elements in their customer-service endeavors. Most of these businesses, whether a car dealership, a restaurant or a Fortune 500 company, post a Mission Statement. Here companies express how they intend to conduct business, what their core values are, and what they offer you as their customer. In a similar vein, I encourage you to develop a Mission Statement for your home to express its core values. Take some time to think about what you would like your home to be like—to feel like—and then write it down. In theory the process is quite simple, but it does take time to determine what your core values are and then to craft them into a statement. I have found it helpful to look back to key elements in my childhood home that I either want to duplicate or not. (I hope you join me in realizing that no one grew up in a perfect home; there is no such thing! I once saw a humorous tee-shirt a woman was wearing that said, “I am the FUN in dysfunction.” Although dysfunction is no laughing matter, it does us good to realize that it is in all of our families to some degree.) For those undesirable characteristics you might have experienced, select adjectives that describe the opposite behavior and add them in your statement.

Some of the characteristics most of us would enjoy having describe our homes are found in the Bible, especially in Galatians 5:22–23. These characteristic are known as the “fruit of the Spirit.” They are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

The Scripture verse for this chapter is one you will want to keep handy throughout the process of de-cluttering your home. It is essential to have the Lord’s help, strength and wisdom as you move from stress and mess to peaceful success!