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Contributors Jessica Ablitt Sudbury, Dominic Addison, Sharif Ahmed, Edoardo Albert, Simone Baird, Alex Barlow, Paul Burston, Rachael Claye, Simon Coppock, Annie Dare, Amy Ellis, Anna Faherty, Mike Flynn, Grant Gillespie, Charlie Godfrey-Faussett, Hugh Graham, Sarah Guy, Derek Hammond, Ronnie Haydon, Kate Hutchinson, Serena Kutchinsky, Ben Lerwill, Jon Levene, Cathy Limb, Megha Mohan, Jenni Muir, Julie Pallot, Toby Pearce, Cath Phillips, Natasha Polyviou, Kate Riordan, Alan Rutter, Robin Saikia, Cyrus Shahrad, Andrew Shields, Bella Todd, Helen Walasek, Peter Watts, Patrick Welch, Sonia Zhuravlyova.

Interviews Nuala Calvi, Bella Todd, Sarah Thorowgood.

The Editor would like to thank Katerina Botsari, Simon Coppock, Grant Gillespie, Vincent White.

Maps London Underground map supplied by Transport for London.

Front and back cover by Heloise Bergman, Andrew Brackenbury, Tricia de Courcy Ling, Guy Hills, Jitka Hynkova, Britta Jaschinski, Olivia Rutherford, Ming Tang-Evans, Alys Tomlinson, Jonathan Perugia, Anthony Webb, Marzena Zoladz.

The following page numbers refer to the printed
edition from which this ebook was created:

Photography by pages 3, 5 (bottom left), 7 (bottom right), 205, 208, 209 (middle & bottom left) Britta Jaschinski; pages 5 (top left), 35, 89, 124, 177, 236, 237, 309 Jonathan Perugia; pages 5 (top right), 28/29, 30/31, 37, 38, 90, 91, 123, 130/131, 134, 135, 194, 195, 201, 211 Olivia Rutherford; pages 5 (top & bottom middle), 9 (top), 53, 81, 106, 107, 143, 216, 230, 231, 233 Jitka Hynkova; pages 5 (bottom right), 7 (left), 105 ( right), 141 (right) Haris Artimis; pages 7 (top right), 73 (bottom), 120, 175, 249 Andrew Brackenbury; pages 9 (middle), 164 Michelle Grant; page 9 (bottom) Scott Wishart; pages 10/11, 26, 148, 150/151, 169, 185, 190/191 Alamy; page 13 Wellcome Images; page 18 Londonstills.com; page 19 newsteam.co.uk; page 33 National Maritime Museum, London; page 42 Neil Wissink; pages 48, 67, 77 Rob Greig; page 50/51 Alistair Muir; page 61 Libby Mor; pages 62, 63, 239 Tove K Breitstein; pages 70, 71, 264, 265, 303 Marzena Zoladz; page 73 (top) Abigail Lelliot; page 79 (top) Kate Peters; pages 79 (bottom right), 129, 167, 277 Alys Tomlinson; page 93 (left) WWT London Wetland Selena Sherid; page 93 (right) Werner Certh/ardea.com; page 95 Sarah Thorowgood; page 97 The Royal Parks; page 99 Tim Spicer; pages 100, 144, 157, 158, 159, 170/171, 197, 198 Elisabeth Blanchet; pages 105 (left), 108, 127, 209 (top left) 246 Ming Tang-Evans; page 109 Michael Franke; pages 110/111, 254, 290/291 Getty Images; page 133 Jon Furniss; page 147 www.gorminator.com; page 173 (top) Peter Garner; page 173 (middle) Sophie Lee; page 173 (bottom) Fung Wah-Man; page 193 www.britainonview.com; page 203 Adrian Pancucci; page 204 David Axelbank; page 209 (top left & bottom right) Rogan MacDonald; page 214 Richard Bryant/arcaid.co.uk; page 218 Stephen Dobbie; page 220 Tristram Kenton; page 221 Esme Appleton; page 227 Michael Cockerham; page 240 Heloise Bergman; page 242 Hayley Madden; page 245 Bernardo Doral; page 257 londonstills.com; page 268 Nick Ballon; page 269 Anthony Webb; page 276 (top & bottom right) Gemma Day; pages 294, 295 Tricia de Courcy Ling; page 306 Thomas Skovsende.

The following images were provided by the featured establishments/artists: pages 15, 42, 43, 47, 57, 69, 83, 87, 113, 122, 152, 153, 178, 187, 188, 206, 218, 221, 243, 248, 293, 297, 298.

Illustrations Ian Keltie, www.keltiecochrane.com.

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Contents

About the guide

Introduction

1000 things

Features

Path to glory

A different league

Crunch clubbing

Deal or no deal?

Take a stand

Going underground

Take it to the bridges

’Crash course

Carry on cabaret

Brought to books

Fringe benefits

Family fortunes

Cheap chills

Transports of delight

Art for art’s sake

A few of my favourite things

Russell Kane

Scroobius Pip

Dominic Cooke

Leslie Grantham

Johnny Vaughan

Patrick Wolf

Lesley Lewis

Victoria Thornton

Fabien Riggall

Emmy the Great

Anna Robertson

Tube map

Copyright

About the guide

Inspirational ideas for what to do in the capital, all of them costing £10 or less – with many of them costing nothing at all. Enjoy big club nights or little-known river walks; try martial arts or hula hooping; play bike polo or hunt for classic vintage couture; drink quality champagne or hear world-class music. From once-in-a-lifetime experiences to everyday pleasures, there’s always more to be discovered, without breaking the bank.

Telephone numbers

All phone numbers listed in this guide assume that you are calling from within London. From elsewhere within the UK, prefix each number with 020. From abroad, dial your international access code, then 44 for the UK, and then 20 for London.

Disclaimer

While every effort has been made to ensure the accuracy of information within this guide, the publishers cannot accept responsibility for any errors it may contain. Businesses can change their arrangements at any time so, before you go out of your way, we strongly advise you to phone ahead to check opening times, prices and other particulars.

Advertisers

The recommendations in 1000 Things to do in London for under £10 are based on the experiences of Time Out journalists. No payment or PR invitation of any kind has secured inclusion or influenced content. The editors select which venues and activities are listed in this guide, and the list of 1,000 was compiled before any advertising space was sold. Advertising has no effect on editorial content.

Let us know what you think

Did we miss anything? We welcome tips for ‘things’ you consider we should include in future editions and take note of your criticism of our choices. You can email us at guides@timeout.com.

Introduction

London is a famously – some might even say reassuringly – expensive city. A place that consistently tops highest cost of living charts and which people from out of town save up to visit. There’s no denying the fact that a martini at Claridge’s or a box at the Royal Opera House will set you back considerably more than ten pounds – and that’s probably the way it should be. Some things are worth paying a lot for. Yet despite the high rents and other costly living expenses, there is also a wealth of entertainment on offer in the city that’s free – or at least attainable for less than a tenner.

When we set about compiling a list of ideas, it soon became clear that we were not going to be short of suggestions. For starters, since the great national museums threw open their doors for free after the millennium, it’s been possible to spend days wandering the capital soaking up culture without paying a penny – once you’ve bought your travelcard. But even travelling through the city can be part of the floor show – head upstairs on a double decker bus with Peter Watts and you’ll see what we mean, and happy is the child that bags the front seat on a driverless DLR train. Then there are the hundreds of other art galleries and museums to visit, walks to take, performances to see (including opera in Covent Garden), bargains to buy, food to eat and even cocktails to sip – all for less than £10.

It’s true that sometimes a little ingenuity is required to keep things ticking along for less than a tenner – we’re not above a well-placed blag in the interests of research – and there are some things in this book that would not be here if it weren’t for the generosity of the people that run them (for some special deals). But, as you’ll quickly discover with the help of this book, London’s full to bursting with gloriously cheap thrills. Grab a crisp ten pound note and start exploring.

Sarah Thorowgood, Editor

1 Refresh yourself in Battersea Park

Here’s hoping for a repeat of summer 2006 when the mercury hit 36° centigrade and London’s fountains became more than just decorative attractions. If the heatwave comes, you’ll be relieved to know that the fountains in Battersea Park – the largest of any London park – spring into life at least once every hour.

2 Take tea in the British Museum

You could have a cuppa in one of the museum’s various cafés, but if you have some spare time why not enjoy the free ‘Way of Tea’ session instead? This demonstration of the Japanese tea ceremony takes place in Room 92 roughly once a fortnight. There’s also a terrific programme of free gallery talks, which are often focussed around the current blockbuster exhibition. Many of them are also timed just right (at 45 minutes) for a lunch break. Check the website for specific dates and details of all events.

British Museum Great Russell Street, WC1B 3DG (7323 8000/www.britishmuseum.org).

3 Buy Chinese food in Chinatown

Head to New Loon Moon (9 Gerrard Street, W1D 5PL, 7734 3887) – a labyrinth of pan-Asian delights – for an unrivalled range of products from different countries including China, Thailand, Vietnam, Korea, India, Japan, Indonesia, the Philippines, Malaysia and even Burma. Try fresh gai lan (crystal pears), Thai pea aubergines or huge, spiky jackfruit sold by the slice. Loon Fung (42-44 Gerrard Street, W1D 5QG, 7437 7332, www.loonfung.com) is one of the only oriental supermarkets in this part of town to have a butcher’s counter – pork shin bones and chicken feet are offered alongside more traditional cuts. See Woon Hong (18-20 Lisle Street, WC2H 7BA, 7439 8325, www.seewoo.com) is good for fresh vegetables and cured Chinese meats, while the Good Harvest Fish Market (65 Shaftesbury Avenue, W1D 6LH, 7734 4900) is London’s (only) answer to the Chinese ‘wet market’ and is best for live seafood – crabs, lobsters and razor clams, for instance – as well as sashimi-grade salmon, tuna and seabass.

4 Go falcon-watching on the South Bank

The Royal Society for the Protection of Birds (RSPB) isn’t all about red kites, golden eagles and puffins – high profile species living in remote sanctuaries. From July to September, you’ll find Society volunteers toting telescopes next to the Millennium Bridge just outside Tate Modern. The RSPB’s Richard Bashford told us that their plan is ‘to approach people and say “would you like to see a falcon”, then give them binoculars and information and point them up to where they’re perched up on top of the Tate Modern chimney, post breeding.’ Find out more at www.rspb.org.uk/brilliant/sites/tate.

5 Get something for nothing…

… at friendly monthly tombola bash Something for Nothing held at Dream Bags/Jaguar Shoes (34-36 Kingsland Road, E2 8DA, 7729 5830, www.jaguarshoes.com). Amid the playful indie-electro tunes of local DJs, free fashion swag from labels like American Apparel, Lee, Dr Martens and Cheap Monday are given away to grateful drinkers. Arrive at 7pm, take a ticket and wait for your number to be called out – then claim your loot.

6 See London through Nelson’s eye

Situated in the south-west corner of Trafalgar Square, the Trafalgar Hotel’s small rooftop bar (2 Spring Gardens, Trafalgar Square, SW1A 2TS, 7870 2900) overlooks the lions, the fountains, the general melée – and Nelson on his column. Up here you get pretty much the same view of the city as the great Admiral standing 170 feet up in the air. The bar serves a range of drinks (many of which cost less than a tenner), but is only open in the summer months and may be closed for private parties – phone ahead to check before you visit.

7 Be grateful for modern medicine

The Wellcome Collection explores the connections between medicine and art through its three spaces. Upstairs, exhibits drawn from 19th-century explorer Sir Henry Wellcome’s findings include a 14th-century Peruvian mummy, a used guillotine blade, Napoleon’s toothbrush and a wickedly bladed torture chair. Next door, is ‘Medicine Now’, which contains some startling modern art on medical themes (a realistic sculpture of a man disappearing into the folds of his own obese stomach, for example). Downstairs, the series of temporary exhibitions get better and better: Skeletons – a forensic analysis of ancient bones from the Museum of London storerooms – was one of our favourite recent shows.

Wellcome Collection 183 Euston Road, NW1 2BE (7611 2222/www.wellcomecollection.org).

8 Drink to George Orwell in the Fitzroy Tavern

This lively West End boozer first secured its reputation as a literary salon in the 1920s when it provided a bolt- and watering-hole for Fitzrovia’s more outré residents, including Augustus John, Jacob Epstein and Aleister Crowley. Queen of Bohemia Nina Hamnett could also be found sprawled over the bar here, trading anecdotes of her numerous adventures with Picasso in exchange for drinks. In the ’50s, regulars included Dylan Thomas, George Orwell, Soho raconteur Julian McLaren-Ross and there was even the occasional visit from Lawrence Durrell when he was in the country. The Sam Smith pub still wears its history with pride – head downstairs to the Writers’ and Artists’ Bar, find yourself a cosy wooden booth and toast London’s former literary glories.

Fitzroy Tavern 16A Charlotte Street, W1T 2LY (7580 3714)

 

A few of my favourite things

9-13

Russell Kane,
comedian

If you want to see some good comedy on the cheap, the best place to go is the Greenwich venue Up The Creek (302 Creek Road, SE10 9SW, 8858 4581, www.up-the-creek.com) on a Sunday night. It’s just a little local place, but the standard of comedy is always high and it’ll only cost you a fiver to get in. Another favourite of mine is the Fat Tuesdays Comedy Night at the Salmon and Compass (58 Penton Street, N1 9PZ, 7837 3891, www.salmonandcompass.com). If you are lucky you’ll sometimes see people like Frank Skinner and Eddie Izzard popping in to try out their new material.

You can’t do much better than walk the half mile or so through the centre of Covent Garden to look at the jugglers, human statues and street performers – it’s like a constant free theatre show out there. The other day when I was there, I saw some people having a paella cook-off. If you get a drink at the Punch and Judy pub (40 The Market, The Piazza, WC2E 8RF) you can look down on proceedings from the upper level and have a laugh at the City types getting drunk and falling over.

Something that I really love doing is going on what I call a ‘human safari’. You have to head out at about 11pm, having drunk no more than one bottle of wine – you need to be lubricated but relatively sober for this – then take a tuk tuk along Great Newport Street and through Chinatown and Leicester Square. I can guarantee that you will never see such a brilliant snapshot of humanity. Every stage of inebriation and emotion will be on display – from first love right the way through to animosity and violence.

There are lots of cool places to go to see films in London, but I think that the Ritzy (Brixton Oval, Coldharbour Lane, SW2 1JG, 0871 704 2065, www.picturehouses.co.uk) is really something special. As well as having tickets for £6.50 and live music for free in the café upstairs, it’s also in a beautiful old building, all the movie timetables are written up on chalkboards and the staff really know their stuff. Plus it’s in the heart of Brixton so it has a really great atmosphere.

I love food, and because I’m a bit hyperactive I can eat massive quantities of it without penalty. At the Stockpot (18 Old Compton Street, W1D 4TN, 7287 1066) you can get two courses, like sausage and mash and apple pie and ice-cream, for example, plus a drink, for under a tenner. It’s the perfect place to go if you love British cooking – and if you feel like gorging yourself.

14 Take pleasure in the Palace on Bankside

As recently as the 1960s, the Bishop of Winchester’s Palace on Bankside was little more than a rumour, hidden away behind Victorian warehouse walls. But now its tumbledown walls and high rose window once again add some spiritual frisson, as well as some 13th-century gravitas, to Clink Street. In the 15th and 16th centuries, Bankside was the focal point for fun in London – and who better to control the theatrical shenanigans, the dog-tossers, bear-baiters and prostitutes (aka ‘Winchester geese’,) than the right honourable Bishop himself? Oh for the days when this ‘private retreat from the pressures of medieval governance’ featured not only ‘a prison, a brewhouse and a butchery’ but also the more wholesome delights of a ‘tennis court, bowling alley and pleasure gardens’. No wonder the area was known as the ‘Liberty of the Clink’.

Winchester Palace (www.english-heritage.org.uk).

15 Walk the Thames Path

Path to

glory

Cath Phillips packs some plasters and walks the Thames Path – all the way from the Thames Barrier to Hampton Court Palace.

The pain set in just past County Hall. The sunlight was bouncing off the water, the Houses of Parliament resplendent in the afternoon sun, and the riverside café did a mean cappuccino. But my feet were suffering: the blisters on my ankles had started to bleed, my toes were red and raw, and a strange puffy swelling had appeared on the underside of one foot. Perhaps we could call it a day, nip round the corner to Waterloo station and get the tube home? Fat chance. We were on a mission: to walk the Thames Path through London, all 36 miles of it from the Thames Barrier to Hampton Court Palace, over one weekend, and no way was the little matter of bleeding blisters going to stop us. At least I’d got some plasters and a spare pair of socks. And it was only another 23 miles to go.

It was a bright Saturday morning at the beginning of October. We’d started at 9am, meeting at North Greenwich tube station at the top of the desolate Greenwich Peninsula, next to the 02 Centre. From there it was a bus ride to the Thames Barrier, the official ‘end’ of the Thames Path, which starts 184 miles away at the river’s source in the Cotswolds. For us it was the beginning, however, because we were walking east to west. You can do it in either direction, of course, but we had an overnight stop in Barnes and anyway it somehow seemed more appropriate to walk west – away from the city into the countryside, the sunset and the glories of a splendid palace.

Few people walk great distances in London. Walks tend to be short and practical: to and from the tube station or bus stop, to the shops, perhaps a Sunday stroll around a park if you’re lucky. There are other long-distance paths within the capital (the Capital Ring, the London Loop, the Green Chain Walk), but the Thames Path takes you through the heart of London, not the outskirts; it reveals the ever-changing nature of the city, from the industrial east through the seats of power in the built up centre to the increasingly rural west; and it’s a brilliant way to reclaim the Thames, that great thoroughfare that defines the city yet is often ignored by its inhabitants.

You don’t need a map as there are are signposts all along the route, but it’s worth taking the three (free) mini guides to the London stretch of the Thames Path National Trail. You can download them from the publications section of www.nationaltrail.co.uk/thamespath or order them from Managers of the Thames Path National Trails Office (Environment & Economy, Holton, Oxford OX33 1QQ, 01865 810224). The brochures are written west to east, but they’re just as useful in the opposite direction if you want sights pointed out to you, historical information and, crucially, for helping you decide which side of the river to walk on. You have no choice at the extremities, but from Greenwich to Teddington Lock the path straddles both sides of the river and it’s possible to zigzag via the numerous bridges. Swapping sides gives a different perspective, but there are also lengthy and irritating detours that are best avoided, when the path is forced away from the water’s edge and goes all round the houses (literally, in some instances) before getting back on course. Other essential equipment should include proper hiking boots and thick socks for cushioning, plasters, water and raingear. Binoculars are useful too.

The first ten miles, to Tower Bridge, were easy. From the shiny silver pods of the Thames Barrier to genteel Greenwich, it’s a bleak but thrilling landscape of industrial decay, the path hugging the shoreline past scrapyards, derelict wharves, heaps of aggregate and mysterious metal structures dangling over the water. Rusting shopping trolleys are visible in the mud at low tide, and signs of life are few, bar the solitary Anchor & Hope pub and the occasional dog walker. In the 17th century pirates’ corpses were hung in cages at the tip of the peninsula as a deterrent to other pirates; later it became an industrial stronghold, dominated by works for guns, ships, steel, metal, cement and gas, and therefore heavily polluted. Nowadays, the Greenwich Ecology Park, rows of colourful new apartment blocks and the David Beckham Football Academy signal the area’s transformation – but it’s still got a long way to go.

‘The path reveals the ever-changing nature of the city: from the industrial east, through the seats of power to the increasingly rural west.’

Just past the O2 Centre is Antony Gormley’s sculpture Quantum Cloud, a tangle of metal rods that gradually reveals the outline of a human figure. A sweet, heavy stench hangs in the air: Tate & Lyle’s refinery still processes a million tonnes of sugar a year here. The brick towers of the Greenwich Power Station loom dramatically over the diminutive Trinity Hospital almshouses, founded in 1613; beyond lies the stately Royal Naval College and tourist shops of Greenwich, an ideal place for a coffee break.

At Greenwich, you can continue along the south bank, through Deptford and Rotherhithe, or traverse the Thames via the Greenwich Foot Tunnel and walk through the Isle of Dogs and Wapping. It’s one or the other; there’s no alternative river crossing until you reach Tower Bridge. We chose the southern route, ducking and diving around historic Rotherhithe, with changing views of the higgledy-piggledy apartment blocks and gleaming high-rises of Canary Wharf opposite as the river bends around the Isle of Dogs.

There’s an awkward detour at Pepys Park in Deptford (look out for the Thames Path signs or you’ll get lost). Then comes Deptford Strand, site of Henry VIII’s Royal Dockyards – Drake’s Steps mark the point where Francis Drake was knighted by Elizabeth after his circumnavigation of the globe in the Golden Hind. The docks here, once the heart of Britain’s seafaring ambitions – whalers left for the Arctic from Greenland Dock – are now used by watersports enthusiasts and yachting types. Occasional danger signs warn of ‘Slippery Steps. Sudden Drop. Deep Water.’ Surrey Docks Farm, a ramshackle oasis with its goats, pigs, donkeys and café, is another handy refreshments stop. As the river bends to the west, you get the first glimpse of Tower Bridge.

Perhaps surprisingly, the section from Tower Bridge through the heart of the city and the tourist hotspots of the Tower of London, HMS Belfast, Shakespeare’s Globe, Tate Modern, the South Bank Centre and the London Eye is the least interesting for the purposes of this mission. Inevitably, this is the most crowded part of the walk and it was hard to retain a sense of purpose and an air of adventure as we struggled through hordes of sightseers and office workers on their lunch break. (The northern bank, along the edge of the City, Victoria Embankment and Charing Cross, is quieter.) Eventually the throngs petered out beyond Westminster Bridge.

We crossed to the north at Lambeth Bridge (to avoid lengthy detours in Vauxhall and around the dilapidated hulk of Battersea Power Station), then crossed back again at Chelsea Bridge to take in leafy Battersea Park. We then yo-yoed once more to the north over Albert Bridge and wandered past assorted houseboats and gleaming yachts at Chelsea Harbour, followed by a seemingly endless array of swanky new riverside apartment blocks to get to Wandsworth Bridge. By now it was getting dark and we were dog-tired; perhaps the reason that we made the mistake of continuing on the north side and had to endure a tedious longcut around the grounds of Fulham’s private Hurlingham Club, before hitting Putney Bridge. We crossed the Thames once more.

From here, the most direct route to Barnes was a couple of miles, but we were walking next to the river and at this point it does one of its great meandering loops up to Hammersmith Bridge and then south again. At least the hard, foot grinding tarmac turned to gravel after the boathouses of Putney, and the tree-lined path was tranquil and increasingly pretty at we headed behind the London Wetland Centre, past playing fields and the Leg o’ Mutton nature reserve. Finally, the humps of Barnes Bridge signalled the end of day one. A stiff drink, a hot bath and an early night swiftly followed. We weren’t up early the following morning.

Day two started well. The stretch from Barnes to Richmond on the south bank is particularly idyllic. (It also avoids a rambling detour through the backstreets of uninteresting Brentford and, if you’re counting miles – which of course we were – the southern route is more than two miles shorter than the northern one.) Trees line the gravel path, which hugs the water’s edge, curving past cottages, various pubs, the Budweiser brewery at Mortlake (the smell of hops in the west countering the sugar in the east) and a glitzy, glassy housing development just before Kew Pier and Bridge.

The weather was bright and sunny and ducks and swans paddled by on the water, keeping out of the way of the heaving rowers. Then a lovely green vista opened up as the path skirted the edge of the Royal Botanic Gardens and the Old Deer Park. It was low tide, and foxes were playing on the foreshore opposite; beyond we could see lion-topped Syon House amid the grassy expanse of Syon Park. Then came pretty Richmond Lock, Twickenham Bridge and, shortly afterwards, the White Cross pub and the smart riverside frontage of Richmond. We stopped for coffee, cake and a breather at the café nestled under the bridge.

Just after Richmond lies one of the most picturesque parts of the Thames. The buildings disappear and there’s the long sweep of Petersham Meadows (where cows still graze) and a little island midstream. Handsome 17th-century Ham House on the south bank faces off against 18th-century Marble Hill House on the north (a foot ferry runs between the two). Himalayan balsam has colonised the riverbank here; it’s an invasive exotic, but it’s hard to resist squeezing the seedcases – which pop satisfyingly, as if alive – thus spreading it further. Then comes a series of playing fields, nature reserves and, finally, Teddington Lock.

As well as the lock (which is crammed with pleasure boats in summer), there’s a weir, a summer café and footbridges to Teddington proper. The lock marks the end of the tidal Thames; from this point the river takes on a placid and unhurried air, very different from the turbulent highs and lows Londoners are used to. This is also where the path loses its double-sided character. It runs on the south bank through a grassy hinterland as far as Kingston, then you have to cross to the northern bank, following the sweeping edge of Hampton Court Park to Henry VIII’s glorious Tudor palace.

Just three miles to go. Trees and bushes dangled in the water, swans floated gently past a marina; the houses of Thames Ditton across the water the only reminder that we weren’t in the heart of the country. But the light was fading, and an autumnal chill had descended making our legs feel heavy and stiff. Even the gravel towpath was getting too hard underfoot, so we hobbled, staggered and stumbled on the grassy verge until the long brick wall and ornate gates of Hampton Court Palace came into view. The sense of achievement was profound and – not capable of much more – we fell into the nearest pub for a celebratory pint.

On the train home (Hampton Court station is 30 minutes from Waterloo), despite aching limbs and bleeding feet, we were already planning to do it all again, this time from west to east, filling in the gaps we’d missed this time.

16-19 Decode Da Vinci

‘In London lies a knight a Pope interred…’ reads the clue in Dan Brown’s The Da Vinci Code which leads our heroes to the ‘Pantheonically pagan’ round nave at the 12th-century Temple Church off Fleet Street (Temple, EC4Y 7BB). There are spooky, lifelike memorial effigies of Knights arrayed in the Round, where the order once held their secret initiation rites. But the hunt swiftly moves on to Westminster Abbey (20 Dean’s Yard, SW1P 3NY), where fans will find Isaac Newton’s tomb complete with the orb mentioned in the next part of the clue, although on a quiet day the Chapter House may feature a distinct lack of flying cryptex cylinders, gunplay and/or damsels in distress. It turns out that Alexander Pope (‘A Pope’, geddit?) read Newton’s funeral eulogy.

Code devotees will also enjoy the crucifixion mural by Jean Cocteau (like Da Vinci, allegedly Grand Master of the Priory of Sion) in the Notre Dame de France church off Leicester Square (5 Leicester Place, WC2H 7BX). The surreal 1950s mural features much occult symbolism, from disguised pentagrams through John the Baptist handsigns to a black sun casting black rays into the sky.

But top of the hit list has to be the hulking art deco Freemasons Hall (60 Great Queen Street, WC2B 5AZ, www.ugle.org.uk), in Covent Garden – especially as it isn’t common knowledge that tours are freely available. Highlights at the hall include a wealth of magickal, inexplicable regalia, walls and paraphernalia strewn with Egyptian, Hebrew and esoteric symbolism – and the 2,000-seater Grand Temple. It’s stacked with Zodiacal signs, a depiction of Solomon’s architect Hiram, symbols for Faith, Hope, Charity and Jacob’s Ladder. There are also celestial and terrestrial globes, all-seeing eyes, charioteers and ‘five-pointed stars’. Other items in the collection include the various belongings of other notable masons such as Winston Churchill and Edward VII.

20 Get behind the scenes at London Transport Museum’s depot

London Transport Museum has a secret horde at its depot in Acton. Normally this is closed to the public but the treasure trove of unused exhibits opens occasionally for a s themed weekend so that the public can have a peek – a treat that includes its working model layouts of London’s transport network. You can ride on the depot’s miniature railway – there are steam as well as electric trains – or take a trip on full-size heritage vehicles, including the 1950s prototype of the Routemaster bus (the RM1).

London Transport Museum Depot 2 Museum Way, 118-120 Gunnersbury Lane, W3 8BQ (7565 7298/www.ltmuseum.co.uk). £10.00, under-16s free.

21 Ask ‘Can you tell what it is yet?’ at Heavy Pencil

Ever innovative, the ICA holds various themed nights in its bar as well as a rolling programme of contemporary art exhibitions. One such night is Heavy Pencil, a once-a-month event (check website for dates) that invites some of the UK’s best illustrators to draw live just for the pleasure and fascination of the drinkers in the bar. Inspired, and accompanied by their favourite music, the artists’ doodles are projected onto the bar’s walls.

Institute of Contemporary Arts The Mall, SW1Y 5AH (7930 3647/www.ica.org.uk).

22 Make space in your diary for Open House weekend

Block out the third weekend of September and spend it visiting some of the more than 700 places – buildings of every conceivable size and type – that you can’t visit the rest of the year. And, what’s more, they are all free. See www.openhouse.org.uk for details.

23-31 Head for the hills

Alexandra Palace, N22

Alexandra Palace is famous for its splendid Victorian architecture and ice skating rink, but the view is a similarly big draw. Framed by a low brick wall and ornamental railings, and dotted with pay-per-view machines, the vista encompasses everything from the leafy Victorian terraces of Crouch End and Wood Green to the City glitter of the Gherkin. The view from below, looking back at the flamboyant ‘Ally Pally’, is equally majestic.

Brockwell Park, SW2

A short walk from the mean streets of Brixton, leafy Brockwell Park is worlds away in feel. Wandering amid the ancient trees, postcard lakes and gentle hills, you may feel like you’re in the shires, but turn northwards and take in the vista – the Gherkin, the London Eye, Tower 42 – and suddenly the city meets the country.

Denmark Hill, SE5

Formerly Dulwich Hill, Denmark Hill was rechristened in honour of Queen Anne, wife of Prince George of Denmark, who lived on the east side. The Fox on the Hill pub stands on the site of the ‘Fox under the Hill’, the only building in the area shown on John Cary’s 1786 map.

Forest Hill, SE23

This sleepy southern suburb is best-known for the eccentric Horniman Museum. It’s a gem, to be sure, but the view from the park behind will leave an equally lasting impression – the City shimmering in the distance, rising above a canopy of leafy green.

Greenwich Park, SE10

It’s quite a steep hike up to the summit of Greenwich Park from the river but the sweat is well worth it. As well as the genteel views of the Royal Park spread out before you, there’s a host of graceful structures to take in on the way: from Wren and Hawksmoor’s baroque Old Royal Naval College through to Inigo Jones’s Queen’s House and on up to the Royal Observatory. The view from the top looking back across the river is breathtaking.

Muswell Hill, N10

The site of a spring that was thought to have healing properties and named ‘Mossy Well’, Muswell Hill was a place of medieval pilgrimage. Later on, its impressive views over the Thames and Lea Valleys made it a popular rural retreat until – back in 1896 – key estates were bought by developer James Edmondson. He built new houses and shopping arcades, effectively creating a London suburb from scratch.

Parliament Hill, NW3

At the top of the wild and woody Hampstead Heath, you are a long way from the urban grit, but Parliament Hill offers a true natural high within the city. The extraordinary vista provides a medley of London’s greatest landmarks – the Gherkin, the London Eye, the Houses of Parliament, St Paul’s – and many harder-to-spot highlights.

Primrose Hill, NW3

The name sounds incredibly romantic, and the view from the top of Primrose Hill is just that. On a warm summer evening, this spot is a mecca for loved-up couples – it’s the perfect cheap date in a neighbourhood of millionaires. London is laid out before you and its buildings are helpfully identified on a plaque. Visual highlights include Regent’s Park and its zoo, the London Eye, and a couple of modernist icons: the BT Tower and Centrepoint.

Shooters Hill, SE18

At 433 feet, Shooters Hill is the highest point in south London. During the Middle Ages the lofty position was a favourite with archers and highwaymen took it to their hearts in the 17th century (because it was on the route of the mail coaches that ran between London and Dover). There was a gallows at the bottom of the hill, and the bodies of the hanged were displayed on a gibbet at the summit, close to where the Victorian gothic water tower now stands.

32-33 Ring church bells

If you thought bellringing was just a simple matter of pulling on a rope, think again. It’s an art form, one that requires precision, a degree of physical exertion and team work. The current technique, known as change ringing, was developed in the 17th century. Don’t expect to be able to ring perfectly straight away; there are plenty of practice sessions around London that welcome beginners. For more details, check out www.mcaldg.org.uk. We particularly recommend St John at Hackney (Lower Clapton Road, E5 0PD, www.stjohn-athackneychurch.org.uk, Mondays) and St Mary Abbots Kensington (Kensington High Street, W8 4HN, www.stmaryabbotschurch.org, Thurdays).