WHO
STOLE
MY
MOJO?
HOW TO GET IT BACK AND
LIVE, WORK AND PLAY BETTER
First published by Allen & Unwin in 2008
First published in 2007 by Blue Moon Publishing
Copyright © Gary Bertwistle 2007
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior permission in writing from the publisher. The Australian Copyright Act 1968 (the Act) allows a maximum of one chapter or 10 per cent of this book, whichever is the greater, to be photocopied by any educational institution for its educational purposes provided that the educational institution (or body that administers it) has given a remuneration notice to Copyright Agency Limited (CAL) under the Act.
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National Library of Australia
Cataloguing-in-Publication entry:
Bertwistle, Gary.
Who stole my mojo? : how to get it back and live, work and
play better.
ISBN 978 1 74175 533 6 (pbk.)
Subjects: |
Charisma (Personality trait) |
155.232
Set in 10 on 14 pt Sabon by Midland Typesetters, Australia
Printed in Australia by Mcpherson’s Printing Group
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Introduction
1 Mojo mindset
Pure thinking • Positives, potentials and concerns • Your gift • Choices • The controllables • Rising sun • See your Mojo • Problems, problems, problems • Get out more • Change your identity • Take that back • Forget about it • Let go • Clueless • Drilling for ideas • Be a brand • Be curious • Mojo check-up
2 Raise the roof
The workout • Live like you are dying • May I take your bags? • Something to be proud of • Info • Get organised • Escape the everyday, every day • Paris • Stretch • A wealth of thinking • It’s alright for you • Grab a book • Speeches • I can’t wait • Don’t Send a Telegraph • Keeping the roof raised • Mojo check-up
3 Council
Listen up • Hooking • E-Mojo • Mojo check-up
4 Fat bastards
Little voices • The other fat bastards • My perfect race • Send me back to McDonald’s • Primary questions • Mojo check-up
5 Feeling groovy baby
The 70 per cent rule • Say NO to white • I’m full • It’s all about heart • Sleep on it • Don’t be on time, be early • Remember to look up • I don’t know how she does it • Drink up • Mojo check-up
6 Forever young
The centurions • State of mind • Staying creatively fit
7 How do I give my kids Mojo?
Get them thinking differently • So, what can we do? • The science • Mojo check-up
8 Keeping it going
Commit • Set your own standards and remove the ceilings • Make Mojo time • Shake it up • Journaling • Texture • Get back to the basics • So how do you know you’ve got it? • Last thought . . .
Recommended Mojo reading
Appendix
Acknowledgements
Index
To my baby girl Charley, for showing me a world
full of possibilities, through the eyes
of a child . . . forever yours.
It was during the closing presentation of the International Alliance of Learning Conference in Washington DC, USA, in 2006 that the concept for this book first came to me. I was thinking over the fantastic presentations that I had attended at the conference and the new and valuable information and training techniques that I had gained, and it occurred to me that while many of the attendees sitting in the room would leave the conference feeling motivated and inspired, within weeks all but a few would find themselves back in their old routines wondering what had happened to that extra spark they had felt during their time away. Where did their motivation go? Why did all their new ideas come to nothing? In fact, the question in their minds will be, ‘What happened to my Mojo?’ I am sure that many of you have experienced something similar.
Throughout our lives, we are often exposed to new concepts, ideas, methodologies and outlooks, however after the initial excitement and stimulation wears off we often find our motivation dies away and all that enthusiasm comes to nothing. Then we look back and ask ourselves, ‘What happened to my Mojo?’
When I arrived home and spoke to friends and family about the book concept I was surprised to discover just how interested everyone was in learning more about their Mojo. No matter how successful or happy a person seemed, it soon became apparent that everyone wanted to learn more about how to increase their Mojo.
Why Mojo? What in fact is Mojo? Mojo can be defined as your magic, voodoo, charm, or your energy, vitality, zest, drive, zip, zing, spirit, verve, pizzazz, punch, passion, oomph, power, get up and go, vigour and feistiness.
There is no doubt that people from all walks of life are losing their zip and their spark. It seems that the little bit of extra energy that we need to get the most out of life is sadly lacking in a lot of people. I believe this lack of Mojo is really important to address as it affects every aspect of our lives . . . our mood, our relationships, our emotions, our work, our play, our creativity, and in turn it affects our results and what we get out of life.
Mojo is the extra spark that is the difference between having a good day and a great day. It’s the difference between getting good results and outstanding results. You know yourself when you are in the presence of someone with Mojo. They just seem to have that extra something that helps them get that little bit more out of any situation. They seem centred and calm, yet at the same time they have that twinkle in their eye—they have Mojo.
Why is Mojo so important? Because it gives you the edge. It gives you the spark, oomph and energy to wring the last bit of juice out of your life. Without Mojo life has a tendency to be bland and mediocre. But once you get your Mojo working and put that vitality and vigour back into your life, the rewards come tenfold. People with Mojo seem to attract different and better results, and they always seem to find themselves in the right place at the right time in order to gain that extra inch. The greatest achievers in any aspect of life—be it business, family, sport, politics, religion or community—are the people who achieve the most and live their life to the fullest . . . people with Mojo.
Mojo comes in many different disguises and this book will give you the essential keys to unlock yours. Mojo is within all of us—the trick is knowing how to access it. Once you access your Mojo, you can not only put that something extra into your life, you also gain a great deal more. Every day, ordinary people are doing extraordinary things, and you can be one of them if you choose to be.
Our attitude and the way we think determines everything we do, and in this book I hope to be able to give you all the essential information and tools you need in order to get the most out of your life. But remember that unless you change the way you think, everything will stay the same—mental and physical vibrancy must be earned and this book will show you how to acquire yours.
Sometimes Mojo may seem out of reach of the everyday person, however I’m sure all of us know somebody that we live with, work with or hang out with who has it. Think about the people around you who have that spark, energy, and extra bit of oomph, and then think about what attributes they have. That’s what this book is about. It’s finding those special ingredients that separate those who have Mojo from those who don’t.
Who Stole My Mojo? is full of simple tips and tools, examples and anecdotes that I’ve collected from some of the thousands of people I’ve met and worked with over the years who all have Mojo. It’s also full of observations about people who quite obviously have lost their Mojo. My question is, what gives people their Mojo? And for those who might have lost it, how do they get it back?
I’ve purposefully written this book in short, simple chapters so that you can take a single concept and apply it to your own world in an instant. The book is packed with practical ideas about how to foster Mojo in your life and, most importantly, to make sure that no-one steals it from you ever again.
If you carry this book around with you while you are reading it, my suggestion would be that when you have a spare moment to drop your shoulders and relax, you can pull it out and read a chapter. I’d then encourage you to ponder what you’ve read, throw it around, wrestle with it, sleep on it, but most importantly apply it. Before you know it, you’ll be at the end of the book and the people around you will be looking at you and saying—you’ve got Mojo!
Although this is not a workbook as such, I believe that there are some valuable nuggets you will find as you move through the book.
One thing I find with this type of book is that if you seem to find a number of tools, tips or bits you want to implement, it’s impossible to do them all at once. The real value of this book is that it is a resource tool that you can go back to time and time again, and by having one reference page at the back of the book, it enables you to periodically go back and implement the pieces in stages.
For example, as you go through a chapter you might find a number of pieces that you want to implement, but rather than feel as though you have to do them all at once, when you are reading, or complete the book, you can stage them out over a number of weeks or months, in order to ensure that you implement them at some time. The biggest mistake people make is trying to do too much too quickly, when merging these new action steps into their current busy lifestyles. You’d be much better off to stagger your ideas over a period of time in order to merge them successfully into your current life.
As you go through the book, there are certain areas that you may want to make notes on and I have made a reference to the appropriate area in the back of this book for capturing those nuggets.
At the back of the book you’ll find plain note pages for you to capture your own thoughts, queries or notes as well as specific action boxes that relate to parts of the book. You’ll also see that I’ve made a space for a six stage plan. You could make each stage either a week or a month—the timing is entirely up to you. But as you go through the book, spread out your action so that you can try something, get it working, then go back to stage 2, try that and get it working as well.
This book is written as a resource so that at any given time you can go back to it and identify where you lost your Mojo. At the end of each chapter you’ll also find a type of checklist, which is a series of questions to ask yourself in order to determine where you lost, or even who stole, your Mojo. It’s not so much a chapter summary, but more a checklist that you can go back to on a monthly, quarterly, half yearly, or yearly basis.
I hope you find these additions to the book of benefit; it’s a method that has helped me in my reading, evaluation and implementation of books, and my hope is that it continues to increase the value of the book that you have in front of you.
I am sure that every one of you knows someone who you would say has Mojo. If I asked you to list what qualities these people possess that you believe gives them their Mojo, quite often the list includes such things as leadership skills, initiative, spark, adventure, fun, liveliness, contagiousness and spontaneity. Now I don’t believe, nor do most of the attendees at conferences that I have run, that there is anything on that list that you can’t do yourself or you couldn’t have more of in your life if you really wanted to. That is because having Mojo is largely a state of mind. People with Mojo always seem to see things differently than those who are struggling to find theirs.
For example, what do you see when you look at the illustration below?
The context in which you see this figure will largely depend on what you see. Some people will see the number 13 . . . but others may see the letter B.
A, , C, D
12, , 14, 15
What do you see in the following picture?
To some it’s just a stick. But to others it’s an extraordinary solution to many of life’s problems.
Once again different people see different things. And this is also true with the Mojo mindset.
I was working with a group at a conference in Melbourne recently and I flew with the attendees from Sydney to Melbourne on a 7 am flight. Given the early check-in everyone was required to be up and out of bed between 4.30 and 5 am, and by early afternoon people were starting to think about their long day and complain about the early start. Then somebody challenged the group by saying that this was a great opportunity to encourage a Mojo mindset.
People with Mojo tend to be excited at the prospect of getting up at that hour because they believe they are getting a two-hour jump on those who are dragging themselves out of bed at 7 am. They choose to see it as a positive that they have an extra two hours in their day, week and in fact their life. Yet, the people without Mojo complained because they missed out on their sleep. Did the people who got up at 5 am feel any different to those who got up at 7 am? Maybe, maybe not. But you’d have to agree that their more positive mindset would make all the difference in how they approached their day and to the people they interacted with during that day.
Now I’m not saying that it’s a matter of running around proclaiming that the world is perfect and that everything is great. It’s about understanding that whenever something happens or an opportunity presents itself, you and you alone have the choice of how you will react to it. Life is a lot like playing a game of cards. Sometimes you’re dealt a good hand and sometimes you’re not. But either way your reaction to the hand you are dealt has a direct bearing on your Mojo. It also explains why great poker players, even though they have a poor hand, are able to bluff their opponents to take the pot. Instead of seeing a bad hand they instead see an opportunity to bluff. I guess this is where the term ‘poker face’ comes from. We as a society have been taught from a young age to identify the negatives or the things that are wrong. Consequently when we are dealt our hand in life we tend to focus on the negatives as opposed to the positives. Developing a Mojo mindset is all about appreciating your hand, and understanding that regardless of whether you have a good hand or a less-than-brilliant hand, it is how you approach it and what you do with it that makes all the difference.
Not long ago I had an uncle who was in the final stages of a long battle with cancer. I went with my mother to visit him in hospital during his last days, essentially to say goodbye. This was without a doubt one of the hardest and most emotional things I’ve ever had to do.
Before I went to see him I thought about what I was feeling and the emotions that were going on inside me. I thought to myself there were two ways I could approach the situation. Either I could go in terribly upset because I was there to say goodbye, or I could go in and celebrate the last few hours I would spend with this courageous man and endeavour to put a smile on his face and the faces of the close family in the room. I chose to enjoy this valuable time with him, and not concern myself with what was yet to happen.
It turned out to be a good choice, as my uncle improved slightly and went on to live a further three weeks, and I was able to visit him on more than one occasion to spend precious time together and to laugh and share stories. That mindset choice enabled me to enjoy the quality time we spent together, and those moments will live with me forever.
In the coming sections I will share with you some simple and practical tools to enable you to develop a Mojo mindset approach in your own life.
‘Three minutes of pure thinking is what we’re after.’ That’s what Rod the spin class teacher asked for during a cycling class I was attending at the gym one Thursday night. The moment he said those words it struck me that I had been thinking about everything except what I was in fact doing. As soon as he said ‘pure thinking’, I started to concentrate on my cycling technique, trying as hard as I could to cycle effectively. After the class as I sat outside cooling down, I thought more about the term pure thinking, and realised that it’s a talent that people with Mojo definitely possess.
In this day and age, especially with younger generations increasingly growing up surrounded by new technologies, the opportunities for moments of quiet contemplation on any one subject are becoming more and more difficult to find. Each morning when I take my young daughter Charley for a walk around the block in her pram, I see a teenage girl who sits waiting for a lift to school. Every morning (and I mean every morning) I see that girl chatting away on her mobile phone to friends. It would be nice to see her spend some time just pondering or watching the world go by rather than filling every spare minute talking with others. I believe that we should be encouraging pure thinking in all its forms (such as the gentle art of contemplation or day dreaming) to stimulate our imagination, which we can use for things such as problem solving. People with Mojo often seem to have plenty of time on their hands and are always clear when it comes to a new or innovative way of solving a problem or issue. Pure thinking is about emptying your mind of everything else and concentrating on one thing and one thing only. It may only take three minutes, but you’d be surprised at how much more you’ll create and how much better your imagination will be when you are focused on just one thing.
A great example of the difference pure thinking can make comes from a scene in the film The Last Samurai, in which Tom Cruise’s character is attempting unsuccessfully to learn to fight with a samurai sword. A young Japanese boy walks up to Tom’s character and gives him some advice—he says, ‘Too many mind.’ Tom Cruise looks at him with a puzzled expression. The young boy then says, ‘Mind on sword, mind on opponent, mind on people watching, too many mind. No mind.’ At that point Tom Cruise’s character makes an effort to empty his mind of everything except working with the sword, and he experiences much greater success. It is one of my favourite scenes in the movie, and one I think of when I find myself trying to do too many things at once rather than just doing one thing and doing it properly.
Another great example of the value of pure thinking comes from an interview I recently watched with the great golfer Jack Nicklaus, who is still on the competitive golf circuit at well over sixty years of age. During the interview Jack’s fellow players all commented on Jack’s ability to shut out competitors, the audience, noise, and any other distractions, and just concentrate on what was at hand, whether that was hitting, putting, or driving the golf ball, to great success. Here is a man who is in his sixties, and certainly has his Mojo working.
By adopting a pure thinking approach you can make better use of your Mojo and get it working for you. Whether at the gym, at the office, in a conversation with your best friend or mum, or enjoying a book, try to empty your mind of the clutter of your thoughts and your daily life and use pure thinking to concentrate on one thing and one thing only—purely.
No matter what life throws at them, people with Mojo are able to step back from problems and view them from a different, more positive perspective. You can do the same using what I call ‘Positives, Potentials and Concerns’, or PPC. Before heading straight for the negatives or things that are wrong with a situation, try PPC. Research has shown that from the time we are young children we hear almost three times more negative comments and commands than positive affirmations, and predominantly these come from those closest to us—parents, teachers, coaches and friends. Consequently, by the time we reach adulthood, when something happens and we’re faced with an issue or problem we automatically revert to a mindset of asking what is wrong or what might go wrong in that particular situation. PPC turns this on its head and gives your thinking some much needed Mojo.
The next time you are faced with an issue, rather than exploring all the things that are wrong, or looking at the negative side, first consider the positives. What’s good about the situation, and what is going right (Positives)? Once you’ve considered the positives, you then need to look at the potential for the concept (Potentials). If some changes were made, what might you be able to do with it? If the situation is in fact negative, would it be possible to change things and make it into a positive? And then finally you can approach the concerns and the things that are troubling you (Concerns).
If you focus on the concerns first, you’re basically closing yourself off to potential opportunities you may have been presented with and you may be shutting down potentially good ideas with all the reasons why it won’t work before you even get started. Don’t be a party pooper who enjoys bringing down other people’s ideas by focusing on what’s wrong with them—leave that to others.
By looking at the positives first you can bring Mojo back into your office, business, circle of friends, family, and social circumstances. This PPC process is more than just positive thinking. It’s a way of giving your imagination, ideas and thinking a chance to breathe new life, as well as injecting it into those around you. Whenever you’re faced with a challenging concept or a problem, first consider the potential that lies within it and what could be done to turn it around.
PPC is a wonderful tool. Many organisations I’ve worked with have changed their entire corporate culture by employing this method of thinking. On a personal front, many individuals I know have also brought much happiness and Mojo into their personal lives by considering firstly the positives and potentials in their relationships before they move on to deal with other issues that may be affecting them in a negative way.
Discovering your gift will have a lasting impact on the level of Mojo in your life. It was during a break at a seminar at which I was presenting that I was fortunate enough to meet a delightful lady who brought home the importance of this. We had been discussing the day’s speakers and the conference in general, but towards the end of our conversation she told me the story of her son who had been severely injured in a car accident while riding his bicycle. Her son had been a very successful young football player, however as a result of the accident he had become a paraplegic and was now wheelchair-bound. The amazing thing about her story was that she was smiling as she told it! She then went on to say that her son as a result of his new circumstances had discovered he had a talent for web design, and was now a very well recognised graphic designer in his field.
The point his mother wanted to make was that although he would naturally have liked to have found his gift while he was able bodied, he believes that had he not had the accident he would never have found his gift and an outlet for the incredible creativity and imagination he was able to offer others. For him the accident was the catalyst for discovering something about himself that he never knew existed.
In a perfect world we would all discover our gift without having to go through such a traumatic experience, but it seems to me that a large proportion of the population don’t discover their gift or make significant changes in their life until something dramatic happens, if at all. You have the opportunity today to discover your gift—why wait for a health scare, an accident, a job loss or other such event to start the ball rolling? The conversation I had that day was a gift in itself to me. You have to admire her son, you have to admire his mother, and you have to admire the human spirit, in the way he managed to take good from an event that would physically and mentally have destroyed a lot of people.
Don’t wait to discover your gift; take the time and spend the energy to find yours now!
One of the things you will notice about people who have strong Mojo is that they always believe they have choices in life, and this is very empowering. As the PPC process demonstrates you always have a choice as to how you view things in life. People who have their Mojo working know that whatever happens they have a choice as to how they interpret or react to something. These people love life and are out to experience as much as they possibly can in the time they have available. As Muhammad Ali is reported to have said, ‘We have less time than you think.’
In the interview I referred to earlier with Jack Nicklaus he was asked why he was always so strong in the last round of a tournament, when most of his competitors seemed to be falling in a hole. Actually for golfers, the problem is probably the ball not falling in the hole. Jack’s response was that the night before any final round of a tournament he always visualised his competitors coming unstuck and that he would be the only one in the tournament who wouldn’t. By choosing to believe that he was not going to be the one to make mistakes, it gave him great power, confidence and the energy he needed going into the last round.
Jack knew he couldn’t control the other players. He could only control himself—his own thoughts, his mind, and the attitude he took into his game, which was that he would be the strongest player on the course. He said he saw it, he believed it, he embedded it into his psyche, and today he is known as one of the great golfers of our time. We can all learn something from his experiences, but most important of all is to remember that we all have the power to choose how we react in any given set of circumstances in life.
Love her or hate her, there is no question that Joan Rivers, the TV presenter and celebrity interviewer, is a larger-than-life character. She has survived decades in Hollywood, the ups and downs of TV, the harsh words of critics and the burden of celebrity for more years than I think I’ve been alive. In a recent interview with Michael Parkinson, Joan Rivers made the following comment: ‘I’ve been fired, I’ve been thrown out. I’ve been told I’m over. I’ve been told five times “Forget about her” . . . but you keep coming back. So an audience doesn’t like me. It makes you sad, but I know there’s a tomorrow and that makes a big difference.’ What an attitude. Here is a woman who has put up with more negativity than most of us could endure in a lifetime, yet at this year’s Emmy Awards she conducted her 1000th celebrity interview on the red carpet! Without question Joan knows that she is not loved by everyone and that not everything she has done over the years has been a great success, but she chooses to look at life in a positive manner and look at where it has taken her.