Sandy Ransford was born in Sheffield, and trained and worked as a physiotherapist before entering publishing. She has worked as a sub-editor, an editor, a reporter and, of course, a writer.
She has written over seventy books, including thirty joke books, puzzle books, titles on horses and riding, conservation, games and activities, fashion, spies, magic, dogs and cats.
She is married to an architect, and the houshold also includes a horse, two ponies, two pygmy goats, two sheep and two cats.
THE
Sleepover
Joke
BOOK
illustrated by
Emily Bannister
PUFFIN BOOKS
PUFFIN BOOKS
Published by the Penguin Group
Penguin Books Ltd, 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England
Penguin Putnam Inc., 375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, USA
Penguin Books Australia Ltd, 250 Camberwell Road, Camberwell,
Victoria 3124, Australia
Penguin Books Canada Ltd, 10 Alcorn Avenue, Toronto, Ontario, Canada M4V 3B2
Penguin Books India (P) Ltd, 11 Community Centre, Panchsheel Park,
New Delhi – 110 017, India
Penguin Books (NZ) Ltd, Cnr Rosedale and Airborne Roads, Albany, Auckland, New Zealand
Penguin Books (South Africa) (Pty) Ltd, 24 Sturdee Avenue, Rosebank 2196,
South Africa
Penguin Books Ltd, Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England
www.penguin.com
First published 2003
5
Text copyright © Sandy Ransford, 2003
Illustrations copyright © Emily Bannister, 2003
All rights reserved
The moral right of the author and illustrator has been asserted
Except in the United States of America, this book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, re-sold, hired out, or otherwise circulated without the publisher’s prior consent in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
ISBN: 978-0-14-195697-8
‘You Are Invited…’
Feast of Fun
Many Happy Returns!
Meet the Family
Pets’ Corner
Log On
On-screen
Shivers Down the Spine
Midnight Feasts
Jokes to Keep You Awake
Sweet Dreams
The Morning After
iT’S SLEEPOVER TiME! SO GRAB YOUR PYJAMAS AND SLEEPiNG BAG AND COME ON ROUND…
Knock, knock,
Who’s there?
Sarah.
Sarah who?
Sarah sleepover in this house tonight?
Why do mushrooms make great sleepover guests?
Because they’re such fungis.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ivan.
Ivan who?
Ivan new pair of pyjamas, do you like them?
What happens if you eat too much chocolate at a sleepover?
You turn into a cocoa-nut.
JILLY: Is it all right if I stay the night?
MILLY’S MUM: Yes, but you’ll have to make your own bed.
JILLY: That’s OK, I have to do that at home.
MILLY’S MUM: Well, here’s a hammer and some nails. You’ll find the wood in the garage.
Why is an elephant such a good sleepover guest?
He makes a great impression.
Why don’t gnomes like sleepovers?
They suffer from gnome-sickness.
Which dinosaur should you never invite to your sleepover?
A brontosnorus.
How can you tell if there’s an elephant in your bed?
Your head touches the ceiling.
What do you get if you cross a ghost with a packet of crisps?
Snacks that go ‘crunch’ in the night.
GUEST: Do you have running water in your bedroom?
SUSIE: Only when it rains.
What goes right up to your friend’s house but never goes in?
The front path.
SALLY: Last time I went to Sarah’s she had so many friends there I had to sleep on a door resting on two chairs.
SHEILA: Wasn’t that very uncomfortable?
SALLY: No, but it was rather draughty round the letterbox.
DON: Shall I tell you the joke about the bed?
RON: Yes.
DON: I can’t, it hasn’t been made yet.
What’s the difference between an American sleepover and a British sleepover?
About 3,000 miles!
JOE: What’s the difference between a sleepover and a matterbaby?
MO: What’s a matterbaby?
JOE: Nothing, but thanks for asking.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Carmen.
Carmen who?
Carmen and hurry up, it’s time to go to Jenny’s sleepover!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Java.
Java who?
Java dressing gown I could borrow?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Havana.
Havana who?
Havana great time at my sleepover!
HOPE YOU’RE FEELiNG HUNGRY, iT’S TiME TO GET STARTED ON THE FOOD…
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Wicked.
Wicked who?
Wicked order some pizzas now.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gorilla,
Gorilla who?
Gorilla the pizzas to Melta the cheese.