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This collection published 2015

Copyright © Jane Robinson, 2015

Cover image © Planet News Archives/Getty Images

The moral right of the author has been asserted

ISBN: 978-0-241-96292-3

Jane Robinson

IN THE FAMILY WAY

Illegitimacy Between the Great War and the Swinging Sixties

Contents

List of Illustrations

Introduction

1. Filius Nullius: Illegitimacy before the Great War

2. Little Bastards: The Meaning of Illegitimacy

3. The Woman Who Did: Unmarried Mothers

4. Pater Nullius: Unmarried Fathers

5. Black Lamb of the Black Sheep: Moral and Legal Judgement

6. All the Way to Blackpool: Sex, Pregnancy and Birth-control

7. Ungentle Birth: The Confinement

8. Love-child: The First Six Weeks

9. Odd One Out: Growing Up Without Birth-parents

10. Lost Innocents: Child Migration

11. Mummy’s Little Secret: Staying Together

12. Bad Blood: Attitudes to Single Parents

13. Shame and Pride: Reflections

Illustrations

Notes

Select Bibliography

Acknowledgements

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Acknowledgements

When I first thought of writing In the Family Way my worry was that I might not find enough material. I could do the history bit: that only needed some judicious research. But at the core of the book in my mind’s eye was a narrative of other people’s secrets; untold stories of masquerade and in many cases, of shame. Naturally, these are very private matters, shared only – if at all – with those we trust implicitly.

Miraculously, it turned out that all I had to do was ask. A short paragraph in a few different magazines and newsletters asking for experiences of the stigma of illegitimacy brought in scores of responses (the editor and readers of Saga Magazine were particularly magnificent). So did an email to everyone I knew, to be forwarded to everyone they knew, requesting help. Visitors to my website, blog and Twitter account came up trumps; each time I gave a talk and was asked about work in progress, I appealed for contributions. In the end I had well over 100 secret histories in my possession. I could not offer much in return: just my determination to tell other people what it was really like to be or to bear an illegitimate child during the cloyingly polite years between the Great War and the so-called Swinging Sixties. That, and the promise of confidentiality.

My promise means that even though some people didn’t mind my using their real names, I rarely did so and have made a decision not to acknowledge contributors individually. That feels mean, but it avoids confusion and the possibility of distress. I hope they appreciate why I have come to that decision, and realize that it doesn’t diminish my sense of obligation and gratitude. It was not easy for most of them to revisit what happened, and few of our interviews passed without tears (of happiness and relief, as well as sorrow or regret). Thank you, all of you, for the privilege you have given me.

On a more practical note, for permission to quote from material in their custody I am indebted to Barnardo’s and the Liverpool University Library Special Collections; the British Library Oral History Collection; the Foundling Voices project at the Foundling Museum, London; Faber and Faber Ltd; Steve Humphries of Testament Films; the Imperial War Museum; Herbert Kretzmer; the Trustees of the Mass Observation Archive, University of Sussex (material reproduced with permission of Curtis Brown Group Ltd London on their behalf); the Museum of London Oral History Collection; Major Kevin Pooley and staff at the Salvation Army International Heritage Centre; the Principal and Fellows of Somerville College, Oxford; Elizabeth Roberts; Christine Wilkinson of the Elizabeth Roberts Archive, Centre for North-West Regional Studies, Lancaster University; and the ‘Their History’ website.

I found valuable background material at the Bodleian Library; Cambridge University Library; East Midlands Oral History Archive; the East Sussex Record Office; the UK Data Service (particularly Dennis Marsden’s study on fatherless families); the library at the Wellcome Collection; and the Women’s Library at the London School of Economics, which houses the archive of the National Council for the Unmarried Mother and her Child.

As ever, I owe much to my agent, Véronique Baxter; to my editor, Eleo Gordon, who is beyond compare, and to my friends who always seem to know when I need rescuing from reclusion. This was never supposed to be a book about my own family, but I realize now that on several levels it is just that, and I am grateful to my cousins, my sister, my husband and my children. I love them all dearly, and am so proud to think that they belong to me, and I to them.

While every effort has been made to contact copyright holders, the publishers would be pleased to hear from any not here acknowledged.

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