Finding Church by Wayne Jacobsen

www.findingchurch.com

International Standard Book Number

978-0-9839491-5-2

ISBN: 9780983949169

Copyright © 2014 by Wayne Jacobsen

All Rights Reserved

This book or parts thereof may not be reproduced in any form, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwise—without the written permission of the publisher, except as provided by United States of America copyright law.

Except where otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New International Version. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by the International Bible Society. Used with the permission of Zondervan Publishers.

Scripture taken from The Message (MSG) Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

Scripture quotations taken from the New American Standard Bible® (NAS), Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)

Trailview Media, an imprint of Lifestream

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Printed in the United States of America

Second Printing (November 2014)

To Julie, Andrew, and Tyler
My three children, two by birth and one by marriage,
who bring great joy into my life every day.

What others are saying about Finding Church

There is no slow bleed; the mass exodus from local congregations is a stubborn fact. So why is Wayne Jacobsen so hopeful? Because dispersion and isolation need not be the endgame. Jacobsen is finding church—the fully functioning family of Christ that transcends institutions—networking everywhere. I would especially invite Jesus-loving ex-churchgoers to borrow his eyes so they might share his hope.

BRAD JERSAK, Ph.D., author of Can You Hear Me?
Abbotsford, BC

Finding Church is a riveting and challenging read that prompts its readers to seriously reconsider the definition of church. With courage and compassion, Jacobsen states what millions of Christians intuitively know but can’t admit, while sharing his passion for a church that every believer craves.

DEREK WILDER, author of Freedom
Life Transforming Group, Andersonville, IN

For that endless stream of people I meet who love God but either cannot bring themselves to re-enter the institutional church world or who are feeling great pain from abuses they cannot understand at the hands of leaders who subverted what we call church, Wayne Jacobsen’s book will be a great encouragement. Without overlaying a new structure, he reminds us that living for and with God is far simpler than we ever imagined and that God still knows our address. Rare is the invitation to relax in God’s love and love others, and it is enough.

GAYLE ERWIN, author of The Jesus Style
Cathedral City, CA

Finding Church is written by one who is not throwing stones. Just the opposite. His love for the church can be found on every page, even as he beckons us toward something more—the very real New Creation.

BOB PRATER, former pastor, entrepreneur
Bakersfield, CA

If you have tried every Christian conference, attended every kind of church, and gone through numerous programs for deeper spirituality, but cannot shake the “Is this all there is?” feeling, do yourself a favor and read Finding Church. In a gracious and loving way, Wayne Jacobsen provides encouragement, hope, and direction to all who have known that there must be something more to this thing we call church but have almost despaired of finding it. You may find that the church you long for might be sitting right next to you as you read these very words.

JEREMY MYERS, author of Put Service Back into the Church Service,
Portland, OR

Like all of Wayne Jacobsen’s books, Finding Church is an engaging and graceful work that is rich in insight. He presents a simple, beautiful, and incredibly freeing picture of what it means for believers to come together, and how the community of believers can operate without an institution pulling the strings.

MICK MOONEY, author of An Outsider’s Guide to the Gospel
Sydney, Australia

With the integrity and objectivity one hopes for from an author and based on decades of his experience and study, Wayne Jacobsen tackles one of today’s growing questions in his new book Finding Church: Is the church a place we go or who we are? Jacobsen offers perspective and insight on ecclesiology—the nature of what is generally known as “the church.” If you are ready to ask the who-what-when-where-why-and-how questions about the church then you are ready for Finding Church.

GREG ALBRECHT, author of A Taste of Grace
Plain Truth Ministries, Pasadena, CA

Wayne has always been a blessed source that gives us language to describe what we are all feeling. Be ready to put on a new pair of glasses that will allow you to see the church that has been hiding right in front of you all these years—a church free from human effort, alive in the Spirit and built by Jesus himself. By changing the focus of the conversation, Wayne opens the way to have a much more fruitful dialogue as we gaze at the church that Jesus is building.

BARRY STEINMAN, iconoclast, peacemaker, writer, and fellow pilgrim
Oceanside, CA

This book will challenge those wedded to the traditional image of the church, but don’t let that scare you. This is what we have all felt sitting in the pew and rethinking our “default setting” about his church. Wayne reminds us of things we thought we knew but must learn again. The Church is not the bricks and boards of the building but the blood and bones of people in a growing relationship with each other with Jesus as the head.

NICK SEMBRANO, contributor to the Theophilus Group
Kingsburg, CA

Finding Church offers wisdom, hope, and godward, practical direction for those who have experienced frustration or hurt in man-centered systems. But it does more than that as Wayne shares the vision and certainty of Jesus building his church, his way. Wayne is uniquely positioned to write this book with years of experience in different Christian settings and then years beyond it in freedom and a growing love relationship with him. This has included travel around the world to connect with many who are joined by bonds far higher than loyalty to a leader, group, or organization. He points us to Him who is the Way and opens up the glorious potential of His headship in his people. I highly recommend it.

DAVID RICE, retired science teacher and brother on the journey
Co Wicklow, Ireland

I loved this book! From the moment I started reading it, I found my heart coming alive with renewed hope for seeing mand experiencing a true expression of New Testament “church life” in my generation. For years I’ve struggled with a gnawing sense that there had to be more to church than what I had encountered in religious institutions, but I really didn’t know where to turn. After reading Finding Church, I’ve discovered that there are countless possibilities for experiencing kingdom life in the conversations and relationships I engage. I highly recommend Wayne’s book.

S. J. HILL, Bible teacher and author of Enjoying God and A Love for the Ages
Cromwell, IN

It’s about time someone wrote a book like Finding Church! Without condemning those who see it differently, Wayne has found a way to explain why people are disillusioned with our religious systems and how they are discovering a church beyond it that they find so enjoyable. He speaks for me too!

SILVIO VIOTTI, IT specialist
Vallorbe, Switzerland

Finding Church is a mature reflection on the extensive and unique experience Wayne Jacobsen has had over many years with individuals and groups who are exploring the reality of fellowship with the Father, His Son, and one another, free of the trammels of institution. The message is timely and will be strongly encouraging for others to press on in their own search for church as Father wants it to be.

JACK GRAY, retired surgeon
Auckland, New Zealand

If you find it difficult to be true to yourself while being part of a group based on religious conformity, read Finding Church. You’ll discover it is possible to be uniquely you and, at the same time, be part of this beautiful family Jesus is building, who are encouraging, supporting, and caring as they learn to live in God’s love. The church is alive and well. We only need eyes to see it the way he does.

KEVIN TUPPER, founder of Christian Simplicity, Inc.
Haymarket, VA

Each page of Finding Church will lead you on a compelling journey to discover a church beyond our manmade structures and behold it as the fruit of a new creation that thrives in freedom and love and depends on transformation from within not conformity imposed from without. Illustrated by experiences from his own life, Wayne shows how a culture of mutual honor, love, and respect opens the door to a oneness of heart and purpose that can transform the world. This inspiring and challenging book is a must read for all who hunger for something more than what we call church today.

DAVID FREDRICKSON, author of The Church Has Left the Building
Family Room Media, Citrus Heights, CA

This book is the capstone of Wayne Jacobsen’s life-long quest to discover the nature of our Lord’s church. It’s presented without spin and without agenda, other than to live in his love. Each of Wayne’s books has been the equivalent of a doctoral dissertation. Offering the same remarkable depth of insight and understanding, this is a personal best. It’s not just a home run; this time he hit it out of the park.

BOB LANNING, missionary in India
Ripe Harvest Ministries, Bedford, TX

Yet again Wayne Jacobsen draws from his fascinating journey of following Jesus to produce a challenging book, Finding Church. And where he finds “church” may surprise you! Because church is literally anywhere where Jesus is with his followers. From helping us understand leadership to grappling with what it looks like for everyone’s contribution to be important, Finding Church is actually a description of finding Jesus in our everyday life with His people.

TONY DALE, founder of Sedera Health and House2House
Austin, TX

Living in an age of conformity and pretense brought about by the constant pressure of religiosity to perform or else, Wayne’s insights are a welcome call to change within the church community for freedom in the love offered by Jesus. His book encourages us to understand and accept that Father is looking for those who trust Him without having first to win His approval. Finally, a book that dares to confront the self-centeredness of what passes for Christianity….

DAVE COLEMAN, retired hospice chaplain
Visalia, CA

Wayne has taken his years living both as a leader inside the institutional church and outside its walls and crafted a book that reads like a conversation shared between fellow journeyers who have set out on a pilgrimage to find a treasured promise. He describes the church with conviction and deep affection, revealing that she is alive and growing all around us, within our culture and communities and even our own souls. Throughout Finding Church, the heartbeat of the Father and His relentless and incomprehensible love is prevalent. Wayne addresses the hard and confusing questions that invariably arise when one attempts to unglue oneself from religion, with both kindness and wisdom. This is an invaluable book for anyone who has experienced “frustration at the disparity between (their) hungers and (their) experience” in the institutional church, and a great encouragement to those who have already embarked on the journey into the unknown, outside of its walls.

JANNA LAFRANCE, author of A Girl Named Grace
Ajax, Ontario

Wayne Jacobsen is just like most people who will pick up this book—a sincere believer who genuinely wants to live the Christian life to the full, but who is, at the same time, very conscious of his own weaknesses, and those of the Christian church. As he tells about his personal journey, however, he reveals how, bit-by-bit, his attitude of the Christian Life and the Christian Church changed—in many positive ways. I myself found that every chapter contained insights that were hugely helpful, and I couldn’t keep my highlighter away. I am convinced that any enthusiastic Christian who follows the book through will find a new zest for following Jesus and his people.

STAN FIRTH, author of The Remarkable Replacement Army
Surrey, England

Finding Church is for the weary, the restless, or the earnest disciple who longs for intimacy with Jesus and his people. It is a vision of what church could look like if we weren’t spending so much time and energy attending to our institutions and instead were living in the same reality Jesus did, with an eye on his Father and compassion for people around us. Let Wayne help you discover the church Jesus is building. There really is something more.

DAN MAYHEW, author of The Butterfly and the Stone
Portland, OR

At the beginning of my detox process from organized religion I read So You Don’t Want to Go to Church Anymore. It affirmed the feelings I had for years were not rebellion, but the prompting of the spirit to lead me away from lifeless religion. Now Finding Church affirms everything The Lord has been showing me over the past five years: that Jesus is the builder of the church and that we would do well to stop trying to help him. When we trust Jesus to assemble us, not merely for meetings, but organically and relationally, we experience the reality of his church and so does the world around us.

VINCE COAKLEY, radio talk show host
Charlotte, NC

In Finding Church, my friend Wayne Jacobsen offers Christ’s way to a home for those who have searched for it congregation to congregation all their lives. The answers he offers come long after he has learned to live it and they are as free and freeing as the Gospel itself!

JOHN LYNCH, co-author of Bo’s Café and The Cure
Scottsdale, AZ

Contents

Foreword

Wayne Jacobsen asks a compelling question in the title of his latest book, and he continues to ask the reader to consider the questions so many Christ-followers have long pondered, posed, or simply been too afraid to ask. If the resonance and comfort found in this query were the sole reasons to read this book, it would be enough. The deep sense of identification one gains from joining Wayne on this journey is a salve to the heart, cheering the long-held dream of finding a church that is so much more than a steepled edifice on the corner.

In fact, there is much more to love about this book, and I found myself engaged immediately as Wayne brings clarity to the growing trend of disengagement from the traditional church—the departure of the nones—as it has come to be known. But rather than lambast those leaving or criticize those in leadership for not addressing this exodus with compassion, he helps readers understand the many pitfalls and trappings of contemporary Christianity, pointing more toward the ecology of church structure rather than the frailties of the human heart.

Early on, Wayne puts his finger in the center of an ache that cries out from the depths of every believer who has experienced an inkling of “something more,” but who has gone away empty. Yet, it is not with vinegar that he touches it. The very salve of God’s love is the much-needed ointment he uses to nurture healing in the deepest parts of the heart. Thus, the reader is led to the key of the entire book, which is the knowledge that Christ-followers have the opportunity to enter into a whole new creation. Sadly, this life-changing truth is often missed by many of us for far too long and missed altogether by some. Instead we get hung up with other questions of hierarchy, gifting, and finding our own little molehill on the mountain of the Lord. When this happens, the church becomes its own personal proving ground. It is in this dastardly place that we see the simplicity of life together replaced with the all-too familiar scenario of human striving, ambition, and organizational strategies. It’s here, when the Body of Christ becomes all about personal achievement, approval, and self-actualization, that so many lose heart. The good news is, when we finally learn that our place in the family of God is simply “in Christ,” we begin a new journey—one that makes the Lord Jesus central so we can look to him for leadership, guidance, comfort, and love.

These ideas are unpacked in Wayne’s own inimitable way as he poses this question: “What would the church look like if it were made up of people who were learning to live in the same reality Jesus did?” I’m not sure there’s a more important question to be asked. Learning to live in the reality of the risen Savior evokes a much different response to being a Christian than when asking, “What church should I attend?” What this means and how we do it together is the road that is explored throughout the rest of this helpful, invigorating book.

It is indeed the road less traveled, but one that I myself have long walked—sometimes in solitude and other times in the midst of many a fellow sojourner. Throughout the text, I found myself nodding, smiling, amen-ing, and at times wincing at the stark realities. The pain and disappointment so many continue to experience in the church never ceases to grab hold of me and wring my heart. My own journey in Christ is quite similar to Wayne’s, in that right after college I experienced a bird’s-eye view of the machinations and muddy waters of church leadership. For the better part of twenty years, my husband and I functioned in various traditional church leadership roles, and while we surely met and related to some fantastic people, the leader-driven, vision-based life in the church could not be sustained. Sure, we saw ourselves as “servant leaders,” and we tried to live it in purity and grace. But like so many others discovered before us, servant leadership did not lead to the joy and peace one would expect from being a part of a People walking with the Lamb. Sadness over the jockeying for position, competitive spirit, and ongoing frustration–wonderment at the 80 percent of non-functioning congregants led us on a different road, one that was off the beaten path. We sometimes refer to that period of our journey as our desert days. While it was full of dry bones and disillusionment, it wasn’t long before the deep wells of living water began to bubble up through the sand. And it was there, right smack in the center of that lonely season, that we learned how living in everyday dependence on the Lord for fellowship, provision, and life could open up many God-moments—opportunities to love and walk with others in much greater closeness and authenticity than living in the frustration of trying to rally a small group to action.

One of the most delightful things about this book is Wayne’s ability to wear his heart on his sleeve. While he clearly sees a non-programmatic, informal church functioning in the earth as preferable, there isn’t even one point where institutional bashing comes into play. It is rare to find that kind of respect coupled with the conviction he holds. He is unafraid to expose his own frailties and tells stories about the many times that he learned something new in conversation with others. This reveals another of the strengths of this book: the multitude of stories told. We all have stories of our journey—stories that narrate our lives. Jesus was the master of this medium, sharing stories from which generations have gleaned food to nourish our souls. Throughout the book Wayne shares stories from around the world, including his own. I, too, am happy to give you a slice of my own story:

As a teenager I came into the fold toward the end of the Jesus Movement and almost instantly learned how refreshing it is to fellowship with others of like mind. We gathered and sang, shared and worked side by side, growing in knowledge and grace through informal community. No one was in charge of us. We loved Jesus and looked to Him to lead us, and it worked. Through it, I learned straightaway that the church is not an organization, but rather a living, breathing organism, pulsing with the life of the Son of God. Instead of dealing with this truth as an abstract idea, I thought it should be a lived reality and shared it openly. My undoing came with the realization that so many others “leading” the flock of Christ did not really believe this. It’s funny how truths of the Kingdom can be so easily obscured by trying to fit in, be the obedient, man-pleasing, doting disciple who all of a sudden is seen as a threat. Funny, but sad. Nonetheless, my own “finding church” became a journey to regain the simplicity and purity of what I experienced in Christ prior to becoming a church leader. Thus, it is particularly joyful to read the stories of so many who are on the same road.

As you set out reading, undoubtedly you will find your own particular points of joy, growth, and resonance, but to my mind, the strength of this book is two-fold. First, and perhaps the most significant, Wayne has undertaken the task of helping readers to see the church as God sees it. We need new eyes—eyes enlivened and renewed by the Holy Spirit—to see what God sees. Toward that end, there is much help in the pages that follow. Second, this book is full of hope. It might just be the holy fire needed to inspire a generation of believers worn out by the unfulfilled promises and potential of the church—the kindling needed for the family of God in the twenty-first century.

And so, dear reader, I leave you with a prayer—one that’s taken me through many years of faith, doubt, desperation, and back again to believe that the promises of God for His People are true and REAL. With Paul, I pray that “the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him, the eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the exceeding greatness of His power toward us who believe.” (Ephesians 1:17–19 NKJV)

I believe in God, the Father Almighty and His Son, who came in the flesh and suffered in our stead.

I believe in the Body of Christ—the family that is God’s answer to human misery. I believe it is His plan for human flourishing.

So hey—let’s not wait ’til heaven to relate!

STEPHANIE BENNETT, author of the Within the Walls trilogy and Communicating Love: Staying Close in a 24/7 Media-Saturated Society

West Palm Beach, Florida

On my first trip to Israel, the small tour I was with spent an hour in a private part of the Garden of Gethsemane that was open only by appointment. Once inside the walls and away from the crowds we were transported to another time. As we meandered through two-thousand-year-old olive trees, I felt I was inside one of the few places in Israel that carried the weight of authenticity back to the time of Christ. We eventually gathered on a large boulder in the back and, while facing Temple Mount, we contemplated what Jesus had accomplished on the cross.

Imagine my joy when taking my wife there seventeen years later! She wasn’t on the first tour and I couldn’t wait to share the rustic ambiance of this Garden with her. When we arrived on our last day, I was nearly bursting with anticipation; however, as we walked through the gate, I knew something had gone horribly wrong. Stone-lined pathways cut through the garden. Stacks of outdoor chairs littered the grounds. I hurried to the back of the garden in search of the boulder and could not find it. In its place stood a large, elevated stone patio with amphitheater seating for 100 people all facing a huge lectern stuck on a metal pole. My heart sank as confusion set in. This couldn’t be the same garden.

I sought out our tour representative and asked him about the garden I had been in last time. He looked at me, puzzled. What happened to the big rock in back? He had only been working with the tour company for a few years and had never seen it. He assured me this was the same garden I had been in seventeen years before. The boulder (could it have been that boulder?) had been buried under the patio. This rustic garden had been turned into a lecture hall, making it more useful to tourists while destroying the purpose for which they’d come.

It was supposed to be so much better than this.

I’ve had that same feeling about Christianity from my youngest days. First as a follower of Christ, then as a vocational pastor. Don’t get me wrong—there were some awesome times in the congregations in which I was involved in my first forty years. But those moments proved more fleeting than I’d hoped, and the fruit far more temporary than it ought.

Is this all there is?

The thought emerged in times of frustration about some conflict or flawed program. But those weren’t the only times. Even when things were going well by any external measure, in the quiet place away from the frenetic pace the nagging thought would surface: There must be something more.

Have you had similar thoughts? I know few people who haven’t, including pastors of some outwardly successful congregations. We were promised a vital relationship with God and the joy of sharing oneness and fellowship with his people, but instead we ended up with a set of disciplines, a weekly service to attend, and a set of rules to follow. And while those might be helpful for a season, somewhere along the line you just feel like something is missing. When Jesus talked about living water flowing from deep within us, or Paul referring to the church as a bride without spot or wrinkle, it made me wonder if I’d missed out somehow.

Had someone covered up the real thing to make it more palatable to the masses? I looked everywhere and tried so many new ideas to seek the richness of his life that would endure the toughest of times, but always came up short. Often I tried to talk myself out of that hunger, to settle for the fact that Jesus and Paul must have been talking about spiritual realities, not practical ones. But the feeling would return. There must be something more.

That thought would drive me for twenty of my adult years, alternating between seasons of working hard to find that something more, and the frustration of watching my latest hope fall short yet again. I used to open talks at pastor seminars with a brief quiz. “Jesus said he would build his church and the gates of Hades would not overcome it. He’s been at it now for two thousand years, how do you think he’s doing?” Just watching people process the question was fun.

Some were reticent, thinking it presumptuous of me to even suggest they judge Jesus’ work. Others pointed out wonderful things about their congregation that led them to believe he was doing a fine job. Still others saw the church of the twenty-first century as a bit of a divided mess, but they couldn’t bring themselves to lay the blame for that on Jesus. Even if they liked their particular congregation or denomination, they had concerns about most others. And everyone knows of congregations with leaders so abusive or extravagant they are an affront to the nature of Jesus as well as an embarrassment to the Gospel. Invariably some would admit that their vision for a genuine community of the redeemed—those who love him and one another in a way that restores the broken, encourages the weak, and demonstrates his glory in a fallen world—has gone unfulfilled.

Some pointed out that Sunday morning is the most divisive time of the week in our culture. Our “churches” divide us racially, economically, and socially. We gather with people who see the world like we do and who prefer the same teaching and style of music. While each congregation has its own people in leadership and claims allegiance to the same God, there is little real collaboration between them. In fact, judgments abound between one group and another. Some are thought too liberal and others too legalistic. They disagree on key doctrines and disregard each other’s leadership. Some are autocratic and repressive, while others seem to reject Scriptural teachings in favor of a softer message. Some are stuck in rituals others find boring while some spend ridiculous amounts of money to build facilities that look like shopping malls.

“Church splits” are commonplace when people no longer get along. Most people have endured one and few things are more painful. Those who think God is on their side of any issue can be vicious in their attempts to make others conform or be pushed out. Many of these groups fight political battles that rival anything Machiavelli wrote, as they argue over a building project, a new pastor, or how contemporary the music should be.

People have often told me they have suffered more vitriol at the hands of fellow Christians than they have in family or business. Gossip can be more common than fellowship, and the constant plea for more volunteers or more funds are designed to manipulate people’s guilt. No wonder most frequent their fellowship only for an hour or so on Sunday, out of obligation, while they ignore it the rest of the week.

So just how well is Jesus doing after two thousand years?

Since you’ve picked up this book, I suspect you might have concerns about the church as we know it today, or care deeply for someone who does. Maybe you’re an active part of a congregation hoping against hope that something can be done to make it more reflective of Jesus’ kingdom. Maybe you’ve already left your congregation and have given up hope that anything can fulfill your longing for his church. Or, maybe your parents stopped attending the fellowship they raised you in and you’re wondering if they’ve lost their minds.

It is no secret that people are leaving their congregations in droves and have been doing so for more than twenty-five years. Some estimate as many as thirty-five hundred people leave their congregations every day, causing many to close up or merge with others to survive. We may be witnessing the implosion of Christianity in America that mirrors what happened in Europe during previous centuries.

Our religious institutions are becoming increasingly irrelevant in the cultural conversation and less essential to the fabric of our society. Religious leaders blame this on the secularization of our culture, brought about as science undermines our spiritual underpinnings while the individual grows more narcissistic and indulgent. But those who have left tell a different story. They say that their religious institutions were too focused on money and power, too judgmental of others, and too hypocritical. Disappointed in flawed leadership, wearied of jumping through hoops and still feeling spiritually empty, trapped in superficial relationships, or disillusioned by unanswered prayers, many end up questioning God’s character, if not his existence.

This exodus has caused great concern among religious leaders as they watch the declining statistics of those actively involved in their congregations. Because it is easy to blame people for their lack of commitment and outside forces for seducing them, few pastors are taking an honest look at how the local congregation might be part of the problem. Instead of inviting people into a compelling engagement with God, they have resorted to pressure or manipulation, claiming that their attendance is an obligation and without it people will end up devoured by sin, seduced by false theology, or withered up spiritually. One well-known pastor even wrote in a national publication that those who think the congregation is dying owe it to the rest to come and die with it.

Yet people keep leaving. Some reject both God and the church, having never met a God more real than the failures of the institution they attended. They conclude its failure must be proof that God must be a fantasy and plunge headlong into the excesses of a lost world. While that may sound scary, I’ve seen many of them find the world’s ways just as empty and, like the prodigal in Jesus’ story, eventually turn again toward the God who beckons them.

Some leave in search of a better congregation. During the past four decades, many have moved into the big-box mega-churches that replaced smaller congregations at about the same time Walmart ate up local mom and pop shops. These impersonal institutions essentially altered the nature of church life. People no longer sit in services with their friends, but in auditoria filled with strangers focused on the entertainment value of the stage or the benefits a large group can provide. Even these have a big back door, as people get bored with the show and weary of the constant appeals for money.

Others look for smaller alternatives, inviting believers to return to their homes with house church gatherings that are more informal. While they offer the promise of more relationship and participation, they don’t always turn out that way. Often they are nothing more than the same congregational system, albeit in a smaller setting. They are easy to start and difficult to sustain, as people feel manipulated by the leadership or bored by the meetings.

The “church” as we know it seems to be dying. What does that say about the job Jesus is doing to build his church? I used to think he was doing a frightful job, though I was careful where I expressed that. Mostly it came out in my frustrated prayers about the complications that arose in the congregations in which I participated. While it’s easy to blame the problems on flawed humans, Jesus said the powers of darkness couldn’t overcome it, so how can human frailty? Paul, the early apostle, even broadened the scope of that promise, saying Jesus would, “present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.” (Ephesians 5:27) That’s quite a picture, and it’s hard to see that the church of our day is any closer to that reality than the church of Paul’s day.

If you share my frustration with the disparity between the church as Scripture talks about her and what we see reflected in our religious institutions, you’re not alone. You’re standing in a long line that includes the likes of Francis of Assisi, John Wycliffe, Martin Luther, John Wesley, and nameless others who dared to ask the difficult questions and struggled with the uncomfortable answers.

Just maybe your growing discouragement is not the proof of his failing, but the evidence of his working.

What if he is actually behind this move away from institutionalized Christianity? What if he is inviting people into a simpler and more effective way to express the reality of his family? What if that church has been growing since the Day of Pentecost, and we’ve missed it—not because it wasn’t there but because we were so distracted by human attempts to build our own version of the church that we missed the more glorious one Jesus is building? I know this may be difficult to consider if you’ve only known the church as the sanctioned institutions that use the label, but it may well be a question worth asking, especially if you no longer feel at home in a local congregation.

Unless we’re willing to say Jesus has done a poor job building his church, the question begs us to consider that his church is something different than our human attempts can consistently reflect. What would the church of Jesus Christ look like if it were made up of people who were learning to live in the same reality Jesus did, with an eye on his Father and a compassionate heart for people around him? How well would we love one another and how much would we reflect his glory if we weren’t spending so much time and energy attending to our institutions?

That’s not an idealistic dream. That church is already taking shape around the world.

To embrace that reality, however, we’re going to have to see the church as he does, not how we’ve been taught to define her. The longing to find a church that fulfills the promise of Scripture is God’s gift, drawing you toward a greater reality than you’ve yet seen. I know how frustrating it can feel when your tastes of it seem to fade like a mirage in the distance, but his church is alive and well. She is not and never has been the building on the corner. Evidence of her may be there, but she’s far more glorious than our institutions or denominations could possibly contain.

Finding her has been the quest of my life. I pastored for twenty years hoping to find a congregational system that would allow people to experience his reality. It was only after I was forced out that I began to get a glimpse of the reality I’d been seeking most of my life.

I found her where I least expected her to be—right in front of me! I had been searching for her in all the wrong places and actually had no idea what I was looking for until I stumbled upon her. It was far simpler than I considered, and when I embraced that reality I found myself at home with a family I always hoped existed. Jesus is building this church by quietly bringing together a family so rich and vast that she doesn’t need the religious conventions we’ve used to contain her.