Advance Praise for Ministry 3.0
What a breath of fresh air! From the first page I was engaged and intrigued. I thoroughly enjoyed reading the experiences of each of the coaches and then seeing how the coaching principles could be applied to those situations. As a Director of Missions for an Association of Southern Baptist churches I believe this book should be in every pastor's library. ∼Dr. Danny Pickens, Director of Missions, Smith Baptist Association
I am increasingly using coaching as an excellent way to assist in clergy development. This book will help in a number of ways; by giving clear practical examples of how and why coaching works; by contextualising a wide variety of approaches to coaching, making connections across boundaries; and by demonstrating that a one-size-fits-all approach is bankrupt. I am delighted to welcome this practical resource for ministry. ∼The Reverend Doctor Dr. Neil Evans, Director of Ministry, Diocese of London
As a coach in para-church ministry for 23 years, I found Ministry 3.0 extremely encouraging. Applying the coaching paradigm in this book will lead to self-discovery, authenticity, and ministry ownership within the local church resulting in believers living out their God-given design and vision. I highly recommend this book for anyone in a church leadership position. ∼David Henry, Cru (formerly known as Campus Crusade for Christ), Raleigh, NC
The most powerful and effective things/strategies in life are simple and very basic. Drawing from real life experience, the writers of Ministry 3.0 simply take the reader beyond the hype of another program to the basics that are sorely needed in the church today. ∼Willie Crew, Founder, World Missions Centre
Ministry 3.0 is a GPS system for successfully navigating through the real-life trenches of ministry. As you read, you will discover a practical, biblical, and spiritual road map to a destination that is the best coaching can offer… an ever-deepening understanding how God works in the life of His people – His Church. The stories and questions are forged in real life. Ministry 3.0 is masterfully illustrated with exceptional coaching that moves people forward and gives life to some powerful biblical concepts. Each chapter makes the journey of coaching an enjoyable and life-giving adventure. ∼David Beroth, Lead Pastor, Des Moines First Assembly
Cathedral Rose Books, the Christian Imprint of
Love Your Life Publishing
St. Peters, Mo 63376
636-922-2634
Copyright © 2012 J Val Hastings. All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced mechanically, electronically, or by any other means, including photocopying, without written permission of the publisher. It is illegal to copy this book, post it to a website, or distribute it by any other means without permission from the publisher.
ISBN: 978-1-934509-55-5
Library of Congress Control Number: 2012943851
Printed in the United States of America and Great Britain
First Printing 2012
Cover design: www.Cyanotype.ca
Editing by Linda Dessau and Gwen Hoffnagle
Dedication
This book is dedicated to Jesus, the Master Coach.
2 Timothy 1:6 & 7 – Therefore I remind you to stir up the gift that is within you … for God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
Acknowledgements
Each contributing author has someone who first introduced us to coaching and encouraged us to go further with it. Thank you for getting us started on our own coaching journeys. You coached, trained and mentored us so that we could each write our contributions to this book. We appreciate your influence on us.
A special thank you to the authors who contributed chapters to this book; the depth and breadth of your chapters is tremendous. Thank you for your invaluable offerings to this book. Thank you to (in alphabetical order):
• Teresa Angle-Young
• Dave Biser
• Nancy M. Stefano
• Don Eisenhauer
• Ed George
• Michael Godfrey
• Ed Hale
• David P. Hyatt
• Kay L. Kotan
• Jim Latimer
• Larry Ousley
• Claire Pedrick
• Sue Politte
• Jim Robey
• C. Darrell Roland
• Patricia Suggs
• Jennifer Williams
To my online business manager and virtual assistant, Laura Pumo, and her team at Office DEVA, thank you for pulling this all together for me. Your assistance was invaluable.
To our editor, Linda Dessau, working with you was one of the best decisions I ever made with my business. Thank you for bringing our ideas to light and helping us clarify and polish our messages.
To our project manager and publisher, Lynne Klippel, thank you for your practical help in turning this into an actual book. Your help made this feel effortless and enjoyable.
To all of the pastors, ministry staff, and church leaders that we, as contributing authors, have coached and trained, this book is filled with what you have taught us. Others will benefit from your experiences and wisdom.
Table of Contents
Section One – Practical Help for Pastors
Fishing for a Different Fish: Using Scripture in Coaching
Navigating the Path: Coaching Relationships
Stressless Preaching: How Coaching Helps Pastors to Preach with Power
Letting Go and Taking Up: Lenten Spiritual Coaching
Pickin' That Carcass Clean: Coaching a Congregation through Conflict
Breaking the Silence: Using Coaching at the End of Life
Section Two – Leadership and Team Development
After the Honeymoon: Coaching a Ministry Supervisor
Transforming Good Pastors into Great Pastors: The Leadership Development Group Coaching Project
Who Can Help? Coaching a Stuck Church Committee
From Fragile to Fruitful: How Coaching Assisted a Pastor with a Struggling Church
Hearing the History of the Heart: Internal Coaching as an Executive Pastor
Through Christ's Lens: Leading a Staff of Coaches
Section Three – Managing Change and Transition
Meaningful Worship: Coaching a Missional Congregation
True to Their Calling: Coaching for a Sure Start
From Burnout to Breakthrough: Coaching for a Faithful Finish
Growing Beyond the Lid: Coaching the Multi-Church Site
Coaching to the Promised Land: Coaching the Transition to a New Pastor
Coaching's Contribution to Dream Fulfillment: Finding the Ultimate Ministry Setting
Focus Coaching: Empowering Clergy with Focus, Even When the Earth Quakes
Section Four – Creating a Larger Coaching Culture
How to Create a Coaching Culture in Your Conference, Association, or Local Church
Coaching from First Chair: Leading Using Coaching
Building the Bridge as We Walk on It: Coaching in a United Methodist Conference
The Long Game: Incorporating Coaching into Ministry and Mentoring
Taking the Conversation to New Frontiers: Coaching in the Annual Review
Conclusion
About Coaching4Clergy
Timothy 1:6 & 7 Therefore I remind you to stir up the gift that is within you … for God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
Introduction by J. Val Hastings
Before You Read This Book
"If the 1950s ever return, the church is well-equipped and ready." In recent years I've heard several pastors and ministry leaders make this statement. It's usually followed by laughter among the pastors in the room, including me! We all get it. The models of ministry that many are using are outdated and ineffective in today's world. In fact, several of the models are so antiquated that it is truly laughable.
This book is for after the laughter. It's an anthology for those who are ready to consider new ways of being in ministry – ways that are actually effective. It is written expressly for those willing to embrace new models of ministry.
I was recently challenged by a ministry leader about this whole idea of the need for a new model and way of being in ministry. He really took offense at what he called "business language" – terms such as outcome, results, and effectiveness. Here's what he wrote, "Success in ministry is defined by obedience, not by results." With my coach hat on I followed up with, "How's that going for you?" I was saddened, but not surprised, when he wrote back that his church would probably be closing later this year.
Please understand that I agree that ministry is about obedience and commitment, but to the core components of Christianity, not to a model or framework. The Tarrant Baptist Association in Ft. Worth, Texas was an early adopter of a coaching approach to ministry. Years ago I asked them why that was, and I will never forget what they told me: "We decided a long time ago that we would do whatever it takes to be faithful to the Great Commission, even if that meant completely changing the way we do ministry."
Strap yourself in. This will be new material for most of you. This book is filled with much more than information about coaching. These chapters will "prime the pump" as you prayerfully consider shifting out of a 1950's model of ministry and into something entirely new, exciting and effective.
Some of you probably think coaching is just a fad. Yet today coaching has worked its way into the mainstream of some of today's biggest and most influential corporations at every professional level and every area of expertise, not to mention health and other intimate personal issues. Whatever skill, mindset, or goal you're aiming for, there's a coach for that. This is no fad.
Coaching is what you didn't get in seminary. But it's what you wanted.
Why this anthology was created
Throughout my years of providing coaching and coach training to pastors, ministry staff, and church leaders, a recurring response has surfaced: "Hey, this is great stuff, how do I use it?" This book comes in response to that common curiosity amongst many in ministry. Just how are people using these coaching techniques in real life ministry settings?
This resource was designed to give you solid examples of coaching in ministry, and we even provide you the contact information of the contributing authors so that you can reach them directly and learn even more.
I believe this is one of those books that pastors and ministry leaders will want to keep close by and refer to regularly. We've already decided that this book will be required reading for our coach training students at Coaching4Clergy.
The other rationale for creating this book was to highlight the people who are doing this well. It is such a privilege for me to introduce these contributing coaches and to applaud their work in a very public way. In the tradition of Benjamin Zander, they all get an "A."
I know each contributing coach in this book, and I've seen them all in action. Over the past several months it has been my privilege to review their individual chapter contributions multiple times, and I have gleaned much from what they offer. I'm confident that you will learn much from reading their contributions, and even more when you follow up with those you are drawn to.
What I hope you will get from this book
Whether you are ordained or not, I am hoping that by reading this book you will be inspired, moved to action and empowered to make changes; that you will pull out ideas, learn new concepts and be able to apply them in your own familiar context.
At its core, coaching is about empowering others. What if empowering and equipping people became the norm in your faith community? Consider the impact that your faith community could have locally and globally. And so ultimately, I hope reading this book leads to your Next Great Awakening of that reality.
The power of stories
This is not a skill-building book, this is a different approach – an approach straight from the Bible. The Bible is full of stories. Pastors tell stories from the pulpit all the time. This book contains real stories from the trenches; this is not theory. And you'll not only see the successes, you'll hear about challenges where the rubber hit the road, and how these extraordinary coaches found their way through them.
With 6 out of 10 churches doomed to close in the next 10 years, this book is a ray of hope for what can be.
What is Ministry 3.0?
You may be wondering about the title, "Ministry 3.0." The concept follows what we see in the computer world, every time Microsoft or some other company releases a new version of their software. With this update, you're not just getting a few simple tweaks and some bug fixes; this is a whole new package to install. In terms of ministry, we are at one of those places where the platelets are really shifting. It's not about doing what we've been doing better, it's about a whole new approach – a coaching approach – through which we're really empowering all people.
Ministry 1.0 was when Jesus was alive, and during the formation of the early church. Ministry 2.0 began when Augustine in Rome made Christianity the religion of the people, and then continued with Martin Luther and the Protestant Reformation. Which bring us to the 1950s.
In many ways, Ministry 3.0 is a re-emergence of Ministry 1.0 – an empowering of all of God's people. Reggie McNeal refers to this as the New Reformation, which is about freeing God's people from the institution called "the church" (Reggie McNeal, The Present Future, page 43).
Why Does Ministry Need to be Transformed?
Churches are closing, membership is shrinking, and pastors feel alone and unsupported. One online article from August 2010 by Eugene Cho even called it "death by ministry" – a striking account of the emotional and mental stressors of ministry today.
And what's more, congregants aren't having their needs met. "They are not leaving [the church] because they have lost faith. They are leaving the church to preserve their faith." (Reggie McNeal, The Present Future, page 4.)
What Is Coaching?
Let me explain that if coaching is completely new to you, this book will not teach you how to be a coach. It will not even teach you, in so many words, what coaching is. What this book will do is inspire you with the miracles that coaching can invite. And when that happens, I suggest your next step be to visit http://coaching4clergy.com/find-a-coach/find-a-coach/ to book a complimentary session and experience coaching for yourself.
You can also refer to our other coaching books (http://coaching4clergy.com/products/coaching-books/) and training programs (http://coaching4clergy.com/coaching-programs/) for more possibilities.
Who is Coaching4Clergy? Who is J. Val Hastings?
Coaching4Clergy provides coach training programs for pastors, church leaders, and ministry staff. When I first experienced coaching for myself, I remember thinking, "What if I adopted a coaching approach to ministry? What if the larger church adopted a coaching approach to ministry?" In that moment a vision began to emerge – a global vision of every pastor, ministry staff, and church leader a coach.
That's the vision of Coaching4Clergy. Those eight simple words: Every pastor, ministry staff, and church leader a coach.
Those eight simple words have the ability to radically transform the local church and its leaders. It's the next great awakening in Christianity. It's Ministry 3.0.
I'm one of those crazy individuals who believe that we can change the world, and my contribution is to make certain that everyone in ministry has coaching skills in their toolkit.
Aside from being founder and president of Coaching4Clergy, I am the author of The Next Great Awakening: How to Empower God's People with a Coach Approach to Ministry, and the e-book The E3-Church: Empowered, Effective and Entrepreneurial Leadership That Will Keep Your Church Alive. I hold the designation of master certified coach through the International Coach Federation, the highest coaching designation.
Who You Will Meet in This Book
Our authors are pastors and ministry leaders, coaches and trainers, former pastors and former executives. They come from a diverse cross-section of small towns and big cities, the one common thread being that they have all found a way to effectively apply a coaching approach to ministry.
I intentionally invited this eclectic group of contributors to be part of this book to demonstrate that you do not need to be ordained to transform your church, nor do you need to have a church or association of a certain size. I want to empower each of you reading this book to create your own success stories.
The Themes
Ministry 3.0 is divided into four themes. You are welcome to read the entire book from start to finish, or to dive into the section that first grabs your interest. Some of the stories overlap more than one theme, so please be sure to read them all eventually.
As your own experience, skill set, and ministry settings evolve, certain stories will become more relevant to you. Please keep this book handy – if you're facing a challenge using coaching in ministry, it's likely that one of our authors has addressed it.
Section One: Practical Help for Pastors – These stories describe how coaching can assist pastors with their day-to-day duties in different aspects of ministry.
Section Two: Leadership and Team Development – These stories highlight coaching as a leadership tool and demonstrate how coaching can smooth out group dynamics and capitalize on the strengths of a group.
Section Three: Major Change and Transition, Multi-Sites, and New Church Sites – These stories explore change, growth, and segmentation, and how coaching can ease the way into these unknown territories.
Section Four: Creating a Larger Coaching Culture – Coaching cannot exist in a vacuum, and so these stories explain how to weave coaching into the core activities, mindsets, and interactions in a ministry setting.
The Time is Here
Your work in ministry compels you to serve God's people. In Ministry 3.0, you'll witness an expanded vision of how you can transform that work to have a greater impact on the people you serve and a greater level of satisfaction for you personally.
God's richest blessings to you as you read this book and apply its powerful message.
J. Val Hastings,
September, 2012
Proverbs 20:5 – The purposes of a person's heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out.
Section One: Practical Help for Pastors
During the twenty-plus years that I pastored local churches, I was always looking for resources and practical help for the day-to-day pastoral work that I did. No sooner had I preached a sermon, when it seemed like it was already time to preach the next sermon. Determined not to deliver a "Saturday night special," I was most grateful for sermon suggestions. It was the same with weekly Bible studies and special seasons of the year. On top of that, there were always the growing pastoral care needs and requests for help.
This section contains examples of practical pastoral help covering a wide range of areas from preaching and teaching to pastoral care and special seasons. There is even a chapter to help you improve your focus and effectiveness.
One of the tenets of coaching is that the coachee does the work. As you read through these chapters, consider letting go of the need as ministry leader to do all the work or be the expert. Instead, experience the freedom and joy that come from drawing out and empowering others. Yes, as ministry leaders we have a role and responsibility; and so do others.
Fishing for a Different Fish: Using Scripture in Coaching
By Jim Robey
"What does this remind you of from the Bible?" That powerful question asked by my coach had a major impact on me. Suddenly I was connecting my coachable moment with a personal favorite Bible story. While exploring my story and that Bible story, I uncovered a spiritual connection that supported me in taking an important action in my life. And I discovered a new metaphor for my work as a coach.
My metaphor? Fishing for a different "fish."
I was gripped by the story of Jesus's call to Peter and Andrew found in Matthew 4:18-20. Jesus invited them to leave their fishing nets behind and follow him, and they would "fish" for men and women. They would leave the security of the known for the unknown. In 2004, because of my connection to this story, I determined that my call is to follow Jesus; not as a pastor, but as a coach to other pastors.
For thirty-five years I had been a pastor of local churches. Just like Peter and Andrew, I was invited leave my nets (the local church ministry) to follow Jesus and fish for people (coach pastors and church leaders). This was, using a phrase from Mother Teresa, a "call within a call." I did not have a clear vision of what this would be, and there were very few models available at that time. What I knew deep within my soul was that this was what I was to do now. My then sixteen-year-old daughter expressed it this way: "You are leaving a perfectly good job with a perfectly good salary for a position that does not exist and no money." This fishing metaphor took on even more meaning as I moved to the Alabama Gulf Coast to live.
Coaches often work with metaphors. Metaphors are like mirrors, reflecting our inner images of self, life, and others. They may be drawn from poems, literature, music, TV, or movies. The Bible's stories, images, and passages are also sources for metaphors. The coachee – the person being coached – is invited to find what is valuable and meaningful for him or her. A Biblical metaphor might provide that deep connection. By connecting the coachee with the scripture, the coach can allow the "aha!" to occur. This is the place in the coaching process where the Holy Spirit may be most at work. Here the coachee is able to deepen the learning and move forward in taking the action she or he is choosing.
Using scripture in coaching is about exploring the story, image, or passage together with the coachee. A co-active approach allows room for the Holy Spirit to be active. As the coach, it's not about my telling or directing; it's about the coachee and me considering and reflecting together on the chosen metaphor. Although I might have an intuition about what may be useful, I am often surprised by what story, image, or passage the person chooses. What makes it so meaningful for the coachee is that it is his or her choice. Sometimes the person feels stumped and asks for my help. Then I may offer a passage or image that comes to my mind. However, if my suggestion doesn't work for the person, I let it go. I hold my suggestions lightly, as one might a feather. It is not what speaks to me as coach, but what speaks to the coachee that is important.
During my years of coaching, I have crafted a basic question that invites my coachees to explore their situation using a Biblical story, image, or passage. There is power in the moment as they become conscious of the similarity between their situation and the Biblical metaphor. I might ask:
• "So, what Biblical stories come to mind that could be helpful/similar/useful?"
• "So, what story from the scriptures speaks to you?
• "What image from the Bible comes to your mind?
• "If you were to choose a verse of scripture to aid you in this moment, what would it be?
Here are three things to remember when using metaphor from scripture:
1. Invite the coachee to share the connection he or she is experiencing. After all, it's all about the coachee, not about you as the coach. Ways to do this include brainstorming together, asking about a favorite passage, or musing, "I wonder what Jesus might say if he were here?" The coach can also inquire about recent devotional readings, journal writings, and worship experiences to allow a connection to the Bible. Pay attention to what question brings a "wow" response.
2. Explore the passage and what it might reveal about a particular situation in the coachee's life. Explore the revelation by talking through multiple thoughts and possibilities. Look at it from at least three different perspectives. What lesson can be taken away from the discussion and applied to the person's life now? Next, remember to ask the AWE question: And what else? This allows even more insight and connection by catching any final insights that might be lurking.
3. Apply a reminder. The learning for the coachee can be enhanced by her or his choosing something tangible to aid in remembering this connection. It might be a symbol, song, picture, smell, movement, or item. What gives this real power for the coachee is that it is clearly spoken and chosen by him or her. I often ask, "What will help you remember this scriptural metaphor?" Here are some real-life examples:
• Abi chose a "competency coin" to remind her that God had already created her to be competent for her work of ministry.
• Dale chose a passage from Philippians 4:13 (NKJV) – "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" – as he dealt with a challenging situation in his congregation.
• A favorite picture of Jesus carrying a sheep aided Dolores to remember and claim her beloved-ness as a child of God.
• Keith added the song On Eagles' Wings to his daily devotions as a way to reconnect to God's providential care for him and his family in a time of uncertainty.
• John, a businessman, placed a Bible on his desk as a reminder that all of his life was God's, and that his desire was to serve God through his work.
• The gesture of cupped hands (as to receive a gift) was what Alan chose as he experienced a great abundance of successes in his life.
• Mary wore her favorite cross, which had a new specific meaning for her, while making the decision about moving to another congregation.
Coaches can also use scripture in group coaching with ministry leaders and church staff teams. Again, asking powerful questions allows coachees to connect their current realities to their spiritual resources. I like to ask:
• What Biblical story is important for us to remember in this moment?
• If we could only keep one passage of scripture to guide us in this situation, which one would we select?
• Using the scriptures of this liturgical season, what theme is emerging for our ministry?
• What from the Book of applies to our church now?
• How does this apply to you personally as part of this ministry team?
For me, the use of scripture in coaching can be a powerful place of learning and action. The use of scripture as metaphor encourages a spiritual connection to develop, and a coachee may be shaped, formed, and transformed by the scripture. Through this process an individual's faith may be enhanced and deepened. As a coach I am unattached to the story or metaphor, allowing it to be a place of fulfillment for the coachee. This is where Jesus's words in John 10:10 bring special meaning to me as he says, "I came so that they could have life – indeed, so that they could live life to the fullest." (CEV) This is so true for me and my ministry of coaching. I have discovered that in my call to follow Jesus and coach others, I experience living life to the fullest.
What three lessons are you taking away from this chapter? Write them down here.
1.
2.
3.
And finally, what story from scripture are you living now?
Dr. Jim Robey, a United Methodist minister and professional certified coach, is the global coaching initiative coordinator for Coaching4Clergy. He was the first UMC clergyperson to be officially endorsed for Ministry of Life Coaching. Jim is a renowned speaker, pastor, seminar leader, teacher, and coach, with a profound commitment to helping others grow in their ministry and connection to God.