NINE WORDS
First Edition
Copyright © 2012 Allen R. Hunt
Published by Beacon Publishing
ISBN: 978-1-937509-35-4
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.
The Best Version of Yourself®
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Printed in the United States of America.
Prologue
YOUR DESTINY IN NINE WORDS
Introduction
WHY CHRISTIANS ARE DIFFERENT
Chapter One
THE MOST EXCELLENT WAY
Chapter Two
YOUR MOST ATTRACTIVE QUALITY
Chapter Three
AVOIDING THE-WORST-VERSION-OF-YOURSELF
Chapter Four
HOW YOU KNOW YOU ARE MATURE
Chapter Five
EASY TO BE HARD
Chapter Six
THE HAPPIEST PEOPLE I KNOW
Chapter Seven
A WORD WITH GREAT ANCESTORS
Chapter Eight
YOUR SECRET WEAPON
Chapter Nine
YOUR BEST FRIEND
Chapter Ten
ABUNDANCE
STUDY QUESTIONS FOR GROUPS
To Thing 1 and Thing 2.
They are God’s greatest blessing to me.
All Scripture references are from the New American Bible unless otherwise noted.
If you had met Johnny in 1995, you would not have been impressed to say the least. Living on the street, addicted to multiple substances, jobless, and estranged from his children, Johnny’s life was a mess. He may have had big dreams at some point in his life, but if he had, certainly none of them had come to fruition. Given the range of possibilities for his life, Johnny sadly had settled into the worst possible version of himself: homeless addict who has abandoned his own children.
By 2005, Johnny looked completely different. Clean-shaven, married for the second time, caring for his children from his previous relationships as well as those from his new wife’s earlier marriages, Johnny held a full-time job as a meter reader and owned his own modest home. More significantly, Johnny was sober. In fact, he was a leader in his faith community, a diligent pray-er, a generous giver, and an eager volunteer anytime his parish needed his talents and passions.
What had happened? How did Johnny go from a pile of ruined dreams to a man rapidly becoming the-best-version-of-himself? Two moments fundamentally changed Johnny’s life. Those two moments provided the springboards for a complete re-making of Johnny’s life from the inside out, from broken rubble to budding saint. First, a stranger met Johnny on the street and convinced him that his life had great potential. That God intended more for Johnny’s life than for him to be an addict, absentee father, and aimless wanderer. That stranger invited Johnny into his home and offered Johnny a chance to begin again.
Second, through that stranger’s compassionate hospitality, Johnny came to a new place in his Catholic faith. Johnny discovered that God did have high hopes and big dreams for his life, that God had indeed created Johnny to be the-best-version-of-himself. By earnestly studying the Scriptures with his fellow believers, and embracing the nine words of Saint Paul that form the foundation of this book, Johnny put into place new patterns and habits in his life that created total transformation in his life.
The unconditional love and aid of a stranger combined with nine powerful words to spur Johnny onto a new journey, one that literally changed his life in almost every way imaginable. A new destiny birthed out of nine words.
I have been privileged to observe firsthand some of Johnny’s transformation as well as the change that has occurred in the life of a young man named Art. The path for Art has been quite different than the one Johnny has experienced. Art has many gifts from God, and he has long known it, even in spite of his not being fully sure how to use those gifts. Handsome and hard-working, Art has carved out a fine life for himself. He owns his own business, is recently married, and leads a comfortable life materially. When Art reached his thirty-second birthday, however, he began to ask the more challenging questions of his life. Is this all there is? What does God really desire from my life? Do I have any higher purposes other than running a business and being a faithful husband?
Not long after that birthday, Art began to focus his mind and energy on the nine words that provide the centerpiece of this Bible study. Seeking to become the-best-version-of-himself, Art discovered that these nine words of Scripture gave him a road-map for doing just that. In seeking to grow in these nine words, Art would now tell you that he is on the way to his destiny. Certainly not there yet but making good progress. He has discovered a deeper sense of calling and a higher aim for his life, where he works daily to grow into the-best-version-of-himself.
Nobody grows up wanting to lead a meaningless or unsatisfying life. No one yearns to be incomplete or frustrated or to lack any sense of a destiny or purpose. Who would want that? Deep within each of us, God has implanted the desire to be the-best-version-of-ourselves. God has a dream for your life. And His dream for you is unique. Only you are you. And only you can become the-best-version-of-yourself.
If you could describe the-best-version-of-yourself in just nine words, what would those nine words be? Which ones would you pick? Perhaps some from this list: Successful. Happy. Purposeful. Friendly. Parent. Helpful. Fulfilled. Holy.
Saint Paul uses nine words to achieve just that: to describe the-best-version-of-yourself. In fact, in his letter to the Galatians, the apostle paints a very clear picture of the destiny God has in mind for you. He captures that destiny by contrasting two ways of life: the way of the flesh and the way of the Spirit.
What defines the way of the flesh? Paul makes a list, descriptions that you might even call the-worst-version-of-yourself. “Immorality, impurity, licentiousness, idolatry, sorcery, hatreds, rivalry, jealousy, outbursts of fury, acts of selfishness, dissensions, factions, occasions of envy, drinking bouts, orgies, and the like.”
Then he goes for the heart. He draws the target for you, what the-best-version-of-yourself will look like. This is your destiny. He calls these words the fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22–23) because these nine words encompass the way of the Spirit, the way God intends for your life.
Love. Joy. Peace.
Patience. Kindness. Generosity.
Faithfulness. Gentleness. Self-control.
That’s it. Nine words. A portrait of your destiny, the dream God has for your life. Some call it holiness. Others call it being conformed to the image of Christ. Saint Paul calls it the fruit of the Spirit. You might just call it the-best-version-of-yourself.
Whatever you call your destiny, these nine words provide the blueprint. And I have designed this simple study to help you dive into God’s dream and grow into the-best-version-of-yourself.
Christians are different. Or at least they should be.
After all, as the apostle Paul says, “I have been crucified with Christ; yet I live, no longer I, but Christ lives in me.” (Gal. 2:20) What a revolutionary idea: As a Christian, you have been crucified with Christ. He now lives in you. That means you no longer live by the world’s standards; instead, you live by faith in the Son of God. Your values will differ from the values of the world. When the world says, “If it feels good, do it,” Jesus says, “Deny yourself and follow me.” When the world says, “I gotta be me,” Jesus says, “You are my sheep, my flock.” When the world says, “Do unto others, and then split,” Jesus says, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” To follow Jesus is to be different.
In other words, Jesus wants your heart and your soul. He yearns to free you from the awful bondage of serving only yourself and seeking only your own advantage. He envisions yours as a heart that desires God and His pleasure most of all.
That’s what Saint Paul means in Galatians 5:16 when he says, “Live by the Spirit, I say, and do not gratify the desires of the flesh.” The-best-version-of-yourself will live by faith in God rather than faith in yourself or in the powers of this world. As a result, your behaviors, values, and priorities will change.
God’s destiny for you is a life in the Spirit. Saint Paul describes that destiny as fruit, the fruit of God’s Spirit. Jesus offers that kind of life to you. How does that happen? True life really begins when the fruit of God’s Holy Spirit begin to grow in your heart and life. As those fruit grow, Jesus will change you and me from the inside out.
These nine fruit of God’s Spirit are the focus of this study. Notice that the apostle Paul says “fruit” of the Spirit rather than “fruits.” He uses the singular, not the plural. He does this because God does not give you just one or a few of the fruit. Rather, God begins to bring all of these fruit to reality in your life as you seek Him. That is the work of the Holy Spirit in you. We do not pick and choose the fruit; God intends to give them all to each of us. After all, they are your destiny. These nine words capture the-best-version-of-yourself.
These fruit may grow at different rates and at different times in our spiritual lives, but each of us can and will experience growth in all of them to some degree. In other words, when you live in the Spirit of God, you will begin to watch love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control blossom in your life. That is how you will know that you are growing into the-best-version-of-yourself: You will notice more of God’s fruit in your life.
In this study, I guide you through each fruit of the Spirit. Each chapter seeks to paint what that spiritual fruit looks like in real life.
My goal is not only to grow your understanding of each fruit but also to provide practical, real life tips that you can use to allow these fruit to blossom in your daily life. After all, that is your goal: to become the-best-version-of-yourself. At the end of each chapter, therefore, I have provided five ways to increase that fruit in your own life. All in all, a total of forty-five tips populate the entire study to move you toward the-best-version-of-yourself.
God desires no more and no less than for your heart to belong to Him. God dreams that you will become the-best-version-of-yourself. He wants these fruit of His Spirit to abound in your life. God gives you His Spirit; Jesus has promised you that He lives within you. Turn that power loose in how you live. And then become the-best-version-of-yourself!
As you begin this study to move toward the-best-version-of-yourself, start with a short self-evaluation. How would you rank yourself in each of the fruit? Circle the number of how much you see this fruit prospering in your life, with a score of 1 being very little and 10 being the fullest abundance you could ever imagine. Doing this will help you envision where and how you will grow as you seek to become the-best-version-of-yourself.
Now add together the numbers you have circled. A score of 9 would indicate you have a long way to grow to become the-best-version-of-yourself. A score of 90 would suggest that you have totally self-actualized! Your score will likely be somewhere between 40 and 60.
Set a goal to use the real-life suggestions at the end of each chapter/lesson to improve your self-evaluation by a total of nine points in the coming nine weeks of study on these lessons. You may grow each fruit by one point or pick a few in which you see a large need to leap forward by three points each. Do what is most helpful to you, but set a goal to ensure that you have a target in mind to inspire you forward.
You will discover that the best way to use this Bible study is to keep this original self-scoring in mind as you read and reflect on Scripture. Your goal is to grow nine points. And as you have fun doing so, you will find greater satisfaction in living because you will be moving toward the target: the-best-version-of-yourself.
“. . . the fruit of the Spirit is LOVE, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control . . .” Galatians 5:22–23
Love God. Love People.
Love makes a difference. It’s the difference between life and death.
Love’s difference can be best seen in babies born either addicted to drugs such as cocaine or suffering from deadly diseases such as AIDS. The odds are stacked drastically against them. With a mother addicted or infected, a newborn infant receives little or no interaction, affection, or stimulation. As a result, these infants fail to thrive. The first few weeks of life often present more challenges to the life of the baby than his or her small body can withstand. With the body ravaged by chemical dependency or deadly disease, the newborn struggles to stay alive.
To combat these seemingly insurmountable odds against life, many hospitals and medical teams use a creative strategy: They recruit volunteers to stop by daily simply to hold, touch, and speak to these uniquely challenged newborn human beings. The results surprise even the most advanced medical researchers. By providing attention and loving care for the infants, these volunteers increase the addicted infants’ rate of survival dramatically. As the volunteers reach out to newborns who receive little or no other affectionate attention, fewer infant deaths occur. Fewer children succumb to “failure to thrive,” the medical term for the inability to gain momentum in living.
The truth is plain: Love makes the difference.
Put simply, humans need love. Without it, you will die. Failure to thrive really means “failure to be loved.”
Frederick II discovered this truth in a unique way when he ruled in the thirteenth century. He wanted to test babies to discover what language they would speak if they never interacted with adults but only with each other. Would they communicate in Latin or in Greek or in some other language unknown to adults? To find out, Frederick ordered a group of infants quarantined—separated from all adults other than a lone nurse who silently changed their diapers and provided some food each day. She interacted with the newborns for only the most basic needs: food and cleanliness. She offered no kind touches, no words of affection, no smiles. Essentially, having no interaction with a loving caregiver meant the children received no love.
As a result, Frederick was shocked when the babies did not learn to communicate with each other. Instead, they died. No love meant death. Instead of learning what language they would develop, Frederick discovered that without the love of a mother or caring adult, the children could not survive. Failure to thrive, absence of love, death—the truth emerged plainly: Love is essential for our lives.
That’s where the Christian faith comes in. In the first century, Christians were certainly not the only organized group in the Roman world. Dinner groups met for social purposes. Burial societies were organized to provide social interaction and preparation of post-death arrangements. Philosophical schools created opportunities for people to gather around gifted teachers to pursue education and intellectual achievement. Pagan cults sought to give meaning to life through their seasonal rituals and sacrifices to the gods.
However, Christians were the only group governed and centered by the principle of love, the Greek word agape. The early Christians built their foundation on the idea of agape love. Agape love is selfless love. Generous love. Sacrificing love.
Perhaps that’s why the most famous words ever written about love emerged from the mouth of a Christian. Saint Paul describes love as the highest and best spiritual gift to be experienced in this lifetime:
But I shall show you a still more excellent way.
If I speak in human and angelic tongues, but do have not love, I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal. And if I have the gift of prophecy, and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge, if I have all faith, so as to move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away everything I own, and if I hand my body over so that I may boast but do not have love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, love is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails. (1 Corinthians 12:31–13:8a)
Saint Paul’s thoughts spring from Jesus. After all, Jesus tells His disciples that the world will know they are His followers by their love. “This is how all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:35)
Clearly, love is important. Love gives life. Love sustains life. And when we are at our best, love defines life.
How can we have this kind of love in our lives?
The Bible is a story of love: God’s love for the world and God’s love for His children. After all, God is love (1 John 4:8). Nowhere do we see the love of God more active than in Jesus. “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life.” (John 3:16)
This famous verse captures the heart of the Bible, the heart of the faith, and truly the heart of God. Jesus came to us because God loves us. That is the supreme example of agape love. God loves us first. God takes the first step. And the birth of Jesus proves that.
In Jesus, we see God taking the first step to touch and shape our lives. In offering His son to you, God shows you His highest dreams for your life. He wants us to be like Christ. That is the-best-version-of-yourself. Just as Jell-O takes the form of the container it is surrounded by, so too are we shaped by what we are surrounded by. God desires to immerse you in Himself, Jesus. In Him, you can fulfill God’s dream for your life.
Jesus represents all that we humans can be. You are made in His image. As you become the-best-version-of-yourself, you become more and more like Jesus. Most of all, because He is willing to sacrifice Himself for us at the cross, Jesus represents love. That’s what agape love is: self sacrificial love. Agape love means thinking of the other person first and being willing to sacrifice in order to help that person.
Jesus is God’s agape love. God sent His son to us and then sacrificed Him for us. God loves you so much that He is willing to sacrifice His very own substance, Jesus, His son, on your behalf. That is the model of love. God loves us first.
Next, Jesus issues the invitation to us all: Love Him. Hear the words of Jesus: “Whoever has my commandments and observes them is the one who loves me. And whoever loves me will be loved by my Father, and I will love him and reveal myself to him.” (John 14: 21) When we worship Jesus in the Eucharist, we love Him. When we obey Jesus and fulfill His commandments, we love Him. Our actions and our service to Him become expressions of our love for Him. And when we love Jesus, we love God.
God loves us first. We then love Him in return. And the news gets even better! When we love Jesus, God in turn loves us and continues to show Himself to us even more. The relationship grows and strengthens. This is where our strength comes from: God’s love flows into our lives and provides us with a special power that is unavailable in the world outside of Him. When we love Jesus, we come to know who we are. God’s love becomes a part of who we are. Only then do we begin to realize the full potential that God has in mind for us. We start to understand who we are. And we also realize whose we are. We are God’s children. We belong to God.
As God’s children, and as lovers and followers of Jesus, we are invited to live in that love. “As the Father loves me, so I also love you. Remain in my love.” (John 15:9) Jesus invites us to spend our days and our energies in that love. Love becomes not merely something we feel, or something we receive; love becomes where we live. We live in God’s love. In fact, He is our dwelling place (Ps. 90:1). That is the most special gift of all. Jesus ushers us into a new life of love with Him and the Father above.
Self help books and self esteem courses can never replace the most basic fact that we belong to God. Only God can heal the human heart. God loves you. That is who you are: His precious child. God has dreams for your life. God has a blueprint for who He intends you to be. That blueprint gives your life meaning, direction, and purpose. And that God given dream begins with a simple word: love.
Who are you? A child loved by God.
If Jesus had only one word in His vocabulary, it would be love. In fact, Jesus says all of His teaching can be summarized in that one powerful word: agape. When asked what the greatest teaching or commandment was, Jesus responded, “Love God completely. And love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:34–40)
The critical role of agape love can best be seen in Jesus’s teaching in Mark 12. Perhaps paradoxically, this chapter of Mark shows the many ways in which Jesus disagreed with the Jewish leaders of His time. It is important to remember that Jesus was not always popular. In fact, He often found Himself mired in controversy. Some people loved to fight with Jesus or argue with Him. For example, in the Gospel of Mark alone, religious authorities, demons, Satan himself, and even occasionally Jesus’s own disciples oppose Jesus and/or His teachings.
Therefore, it should not be surprising to open Mark’s chapter 12 and find Jesus in the middle of a series of arguments. One disagreement leads directly to another. All kinds of people—chief priests, scribes, elders, Pharisees, Herodians, and Sadducees—parade through chapter 12 quibbling and arguing with Jesus over various matters. First, in Mark 12:1–12, Jesus tells the parable of the wicked tenants in the vineyard, and the religious authorities realize that He “told this parable against them” (12:12) in order to criticize their failure to serve God with their lives. In 12:13–17, Jesus avoids the trap that the authorities seek to set for Him regarding the issue of the payment of taxes. Sadducees question Jesus regarding the resurrection in 12:18–27, and Jesus denounces the scribes’ ostentatious lifestyles in 12:38–40. He reinforces that denunciation with His observation of the supreme value of the widow’s offering of a mite in 12:41–44.
However, it’s easy to miss the point of this entire chapter. Unlike all the disputes in the rest of the chapter, in 12:28–34, Jesus and a scribe actually agree. Mark nestles this passage of agreement right between the first three disputes of chapter 12 and the final three disputes. In other words, the passage of agreement between Jesus and the religious authorities is located right at the center of chapter 12. This is the heart of the chapter, the center-piece. The six stories of disagreement and debate only serve to highlight the focal point of the chapter: 12:28–34. This is the center of the chapter and the center of what binds believers together.
Well, then, on what do Jesus and the scribe agree? Love. That’s it. They both agree that love is the centerpiece of becoming the-best-version-of-yourself. Love is the fulcrum.
“You are right.”