Brenda and Eric provide a fun, user-friendly, and effective look at what’s collecting in your life, and offer a pathway to freedom from the physical, virtual, and mental STUFF weighing you down. Their personal stories make it seem they are walking alongside you as a friend. If you want to live Clutter-Free, this book is for you!
Carol Peters, MD, DMin, Host
Dr Carol Show www.drcarolshow.com
Brenda and Eric present an interesting and compelling book on clutter. I admire their passion, and their expertise comes through.
Brooks Palmer, Author
Clutter Busting
What a wonderful feeling of surprise and wonder I felt as I finished STUFFology 101. Just like the cover illustration, the pages of this book open up a world of possibility with whimsical, humorous, and poignant stories.
For people who clutter, STUFFology 101 offers a gentle escape from the prison of “more.” What struck me most profoundly was: What really matters? Is it the stacks of papers teetering on tables, boxes filled with more stuff, hand-me-downs that clutter the garage, attic, and rooms of your home or is it the heart connections we have with people that matter?
Like the occasional great teachers we had in school, Brenda and Eric inspired me to think, feel, reflect and, above all, act. I am empowered now to face the clutter and clean up that “POOP!”
Thank you for this book that fills a gap in the literature regarding clutter. There is a place for STUFFology 101 between all the books on clutter busting, feng shui, and the scientific literature on this complex and potentially crippling topic.
Patrick Arbore, EdD, Program Director
Institute on Aging
Is too much clutter hiding the true value of your home? Real estate agents are often faced with a Seller’s possessions making it difficult for potential Buyers to envision themselves in the Seller’s home. The process of de-cluttering can be overwhelming to the best of us. STUFFology 101 provides realtors with a framework for dealing with clients with compassion in order to present their home in the best possible light.
Barbara Benchoff, Broker Associate
Centennial Realty Group
Copyright © 2014 by Brenda Avadian, MA and Eric M. Riddle
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, scanning, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.
Barbie is a registered trademark of Mattel, Inc.
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LLC. LIONEL is a trademark of Lionel, LLC.
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ISBN 978-0-9632752-5-7 (paperback edition)
ISBN 978-0-9632752-7-1 (ebook edition)
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Avadian, Brenda.
Stuffology 101 : get your mind out of the clutter / Brenda Avadian, MA, Eric Riddle.
pages cm
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 978-0-9632752-5-7 (pbk.)
1. Orderliness. 2. Time management. 3. House cleaning. 4. Distraction (Psychology) I. Title.
BJ1533.O73A93 2014
646.7—dc23
2014003437
North Star Books
P. O. Box 589
Pearblossom, California 93553 U.S.A.
Telephone: 661-944-1130
Email: NSB@NorthStarBooks.com
For all who
want to stop STUFF
from draining
their life force,
their energy,
and their vibrancy.
For all who
don’t want clutter
to take away
from the time they spend
with people.
This book will help people who want to decrease the STUFF they’ve accumulated in order to reduce their stress and be free to take advantage of life’s opportunities.
The publisher offers this book for sale with the understanding that the authors have shared what worked to reduce clutter for them and others. The authors have made a good faith effort to help you reduce what you define as clutter.
The publisher and authors are not licensed professionals rendering legal, medical, or other advice. If you require these, please seek the services of licensed professionals.
The authors and North Star Books shall not have liability or responsibility to any person and/or entity with respect to any loss or damage caused, or alleged to be caused, directly or indirectly by this book.
If you do not wish to be bound by the above, you may return this book (in resalable condition) to the publisher for a refund.
Preface
PART ONE: STUFFOLOGY 101
I Can’t Park My Car in the Garage
1. What is Stuff?
2. Cluttergories
PART TWO: DOES STUFF MATTER?
3. The Station Fire
4. The Wooden Spoon
5. A Man’s Home Garage is His Castle
6. Those Are MY Toys
7. Stuff Matters, But …
PART THREE: I WANT MY LIFE BACK
8. Where Stuff Comes From
9. The Toy Gun That Killed
10. The Ghost of Opportunities Past
11. POOP!
12. Why Can’t I Play Pool?
13. Whose House Is It Anyway?
14. I Want My Life Back!
PART FOUR: GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE CLUTTER
15. Define Your Clutter
16. Write Down Your Thoughts
17. Focus on Doing One Thing
18. Dedicate a Workspace
19. Repeat Small Steps
20. Do It NOW!
21. Input, Throughput, Output
22. Two Magic Questions
PART FIVE: WIIFM?
23. What’s In It For Me?
24. The U.S. Savings Bonds Windfall
A Deep-Fried Thanksgiving
25. Unexpected Gifts
Afterword
Bonus STUFFologist’s Guide
Acknowledgments
Appendix That’s MINE!
Notes
Additional Resources
Index
About Your STUFFologists
We Want to Hear From You
We’re Here to Serve You
Research shows that after our basic needs are met—and a little more—we are not happier with more stuff.
After years of conspicuous consumption—and the hunt for bigger and more things—we have finally said, “Enough!”
You won’t find us featured on reality TV shows about hoarding, yet we are among those who deal with something insidious. Unlike hoarders, we live in the shadows, struggling with a lifetime of clutter. Our clutter is not compelling enough to be seen on national TV but it does affect our lives severely; diverting us from our life’s purpose and what we deserve.
Out of public view, in closets and spare bedrooms, we hide stacked boxes, piles of overwhelming paperwork, and collectibles.
We are among those who still have stuff stored in boxes from our last move—even if it was ten years ago.
We wander at the “edge of the road,” trying to get our minds out of the clutter.
We are among those who park our cars outside, because there is no room in the garage.
We make piles after our paperwork grows too much—piles that we scoop up and place out of sight when there’s a knock on the door.
We need to go on a “clutter diet.” We need to look at all of our stuff and define what clutter is in order to rid ourselves of it.
If any of this is true for you, then we, the authors, invite you to join the millions living in the shadows for whom this book was written.
We will be your guides on this journey through the land of STUFF. We are a married couple (not to each other), who share a combined eighty-three years of experience in dealing with clutter. Brenda started accumulating at age eight, Eric at age eleven. We have faced the emotional struggle of dealing with clutter. Want to know a secret? It’s an ongoing process. We know that managing clutter is not a one-weekend or even a three-month endeavor. It may take much longer.
We’ve needed to be patient and understanding when dealing with our stuff, and our experience has taught us to be flexible while navigating through it.
What finally motivated us to de-clutter was when we realized that instead of doing what we wanted to do, like spending time with people, we were spending time with things. At the end of our lives, things won’t bring us comfort, people will.
This book is for people who are ready to face the stuff that clutters their lives. STUFFology 101 provides flexible tools to help get your mind out of the clutter. The steps you take to manage your own stuff will serve you when helping others deal with their stuff.
Eric, a fan of Green Eggs and Ham, was inspired to write this Dr. Seuss-style poem about all of the stuff in his garage:
Been there, done that
“Bin” there, why’s that?
Whose bins are those, they’re in my way
They are Susi’s; I’d have to say
Keepsake clothes for babies and her
Throw them out and I’m dead for sure
Seven, eight, nine, and more
Not enough space for this garage to store
Speechless I am. What about you?
Can’t say much because I have keepsakes too
Mementos of track, running shirts, and such
But mine is just one bin, not too much
Other items are here as well
Too much stuff it looks like hell
Tucked away in the garage where no one can see
Christmas stuff that’s bugging me
Feeling boxed in from the holiday
It ends up in my garage because Susi got her way
Keeping it for now, must be fate
She will need it next year to decorate
Christmas junk and Easter too
She wants to keep it, what can I do?
Will I ever be able to park a car in here?
Not gonna happen with that trailer near
What’s up with that trailer in this space?
I might need it again, just in case
Trailer trash that no one can see
Get rid of some stuff that is the key
But what should go and what can stay?
I wonder what it’s worth on eBay
Keep it all and tell a tale
Of why our memories are not for sale
“Well, there’s your stuff and my stuff,” said the late comedian George Carlin in a sketch titled “Stuff.”1 Some stuff matters a lot. That’s because it’s our stuff. Other stuff matters little. That’s because it’s other people’s stuff.
We’ll focus on the stuff that matters a lot—the stuff we can do something about—our stuff.
What is stuff?
Stuff is what we’ve accumulated during the course of living, working, and playing day to day. During the past two decades, stuff has morphed into the virtual realm. We now store music, photos, documents, and videos on our computers and even in the cloud.
There’s also the stuff between our ears. What’s in our minds (our attitude) will determine how we navigate through life. Many books have been written about this. Some of these books are on our bookshelves or stored in our digital eBook readers. What we accumulate in our minds will fill us with hope, wonder, and lead us to success—or it will fill us with overwhelm and worry because there’s too much stuff!
For our use here, stuff is divided into two categories—the stuff we need and use regularly and that makes our lives more comfortable (toothbrush, toilet paper, clothes, utensils, furniture, computer/ tablet/smartphone, etc.) and the stuff we think we need and will use someday (old car, clothes that don’t fit, paperwork we haven’t looked at in decades, etc.).
What is clutter?
The stuff we think we’ll need someday often gets in the way—and this is what we call clutter. Whether physical clutter or mental, it’s the stuff we trip over while trying to get to what we need.
The magazines we’re currently reading are not clutter; whereas, the growing piles of back issues that we’re trying to find the time to read are clutter.
The boxes and overstuffed shelves of seasonal decorations in the garage are not clutter until our fingertips freeze while scraping ice off the windshield of our car parked outside.
Hundreds of emails flooding our inboxes that await our reply are clutter.
Not being able to play a game of pool because it takes a half day to move the piles of stuff off the pool table are clutter.
My husband’s tools are clutter.
My wife’s collection of baby clothes is clutter.
Your married child’s stuff still in your home is clutter.
Feeling overwhelmed after overscheduling our lives is clutter.
Too much noise is clutter.
Being stuck and not knowing why we’re holding onto something adds to the clutter. “Just because” is not a good enough reason to hold on.
Oh, and finding $100,000 between two books on a living room shelf is definitely not clutter.
Clutter is different for each of us. The former First Lady of the Philippines, Imelda Marcos, boasted a collection of 3,000 pairs of shoes while prolific author Danielle Steele, enjoys a collection of 6,000 pairs. Most likely, these women do not consider their collections clutter; yet, it would take Steele more than sixteen years to wear a different pair of shoes each day.
Although many of us are overwhelmed if we have more than a dozen pair of shoes, sandals, boots, and slippers in our closets, we don’t advocate the popular mantra: Let go of anything you have not used in a year.
Brenda stored an oriental wool rug in her bedroom closet for seventeen years because the colors didn’t coordinate with the house she was living in. After she moved and redecorated, she’s thankful she saved it, to enjoy it once again.
Heck, we admit to saving and now wearing certain clothes from almost thirty years ago. They’re back in style and of higher quality!
Clutter is not the same as hoarding, which affects two to five percent of the population, according to Frost and Steketee, authors of Stuff: Compulsive Hoarding and the Meaning of Things.2 Hoarding, once classified as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), is now distinguished from OCD in the new Diagnostic and Statistical Manual as a disorder causing distress and disability among those whose homes are almost uninhabitable.3
Then what is clutter?
Clutter is what blocks us from fulfilling our purpose and goals. It could be a pile of papers, too many boxes, worries, noise, too many scheduled activities, or not enough time.