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To protect the privacy of some of the individuals referred to, names of persons and places, and some other details, have in a few cases been changed.

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Preface

I sat down and wrote the bulk of this book in 2010 when I was living in Redondo Beach, California. I was attracted to the South Bay area south of Los Angeles when I had time to kill for a flight from LAX airport and I stopped in Hermosa Beach to go running along the beach. I stopped in a place called the Underground, named after the London subway system, and met a nice guy at the bar from England named Tony. He introduced me to his friends before he left and I ended up staying there the rest of the night, rescheduling my flight for the next day, and enjoying the many new friends I was making. I never got back there or met up with any of those people since, but I hoped to do so and that’s why I relocated there. Otherwise, I would have relocated to San Diego.

After writing the book I had a friend review it and he liked some of it and was critical of some of it. Then, despite warnings to stay away from a relative, I showed it to my relative and he discouraged me and there it sat for 4 years. I should have heeded the warning to stay away from that relative. But this book needed some revisions, which I should have done 4 years ago and, in 2014, I miraculously got the time and opportunity to finish it. All in all about 8-9 solid months of full-time writing, another 4 years of valuable experience, and three more months of editing, went into this book; so, I hope the reader gets a lot out of it.

You’re going to get a bible lesson in the pages that follow. That’s because I believe everything written in the Holy Bible. That will be the subject of my next book, as a matter of fact, if God wills it. For now, just trust me. Have faith. Then be transformed.

Chapter 1 The Truth Hurts

At Age 15, I Inadvertently Took a Good Look in the Mirror

In March of 1987, during my sophomore year at St. Patrick’s High School, on the northwest side of Chicago, I was in gym class. Our coach was having the class undertake different strength tests, like hand grip, and also testing body fat with fat calipers, a device that squeezes the pockets of fat under your skin and gives a percentage of body fat based on the measurement. So, we had to take our shirts off, not something I liked doing at that time. I tested in the 30+ percentage range of body fat.

But what impacted me a great deal was when I was standing there with my shirt off, I saw myself in the mirror from across the room. But at first I did not know it was me. Seeing myself in the mirror, before realizing it was me, was a startling revelation after realizing it was me. It was like seeing someone and thinking how disgusting they look and then realizing it was you. The revelation impacted me a lot.

I was so disgusted with what I saw in that mirror. I was 15 years old and about 225 pounds at 5'11". I had gained probably 20 pounds of mostly fat that winter after football season ended from drinking beer (a new habit) with my friends on many nights. My weight and body fat had gone over the edge.

I remember a class mate of mine seeing and acknowledging my reaction to myself but he did not say anything, derogatory or otherwise. I guess even some people who are not fat can feel a fat person’s pain at times.

Normally, when I looked in a mirror, I was ready for what I was about to see. I would suck in my gut, pull on my shirt, or do whatever I had to do to make myself not feel so bad. But when I looked over and saw some fat flabby person standing in the mirror across from me and then realized it was me, I had not prepared for what I was about to see and I got an honest look at myself. I did not like it. I hated it. It really pained me something awful.

The effect was probably more powerful because I could see a lot of my classmates without their shirts and my fat self, standing in their midst. Without the mirror, I would only see them without their shirts without the ability to compare myself. But because of the mirror, I saw how disgustingly fat I was in comparison.

LOOK IN THE MIRROR – MAKE AN HONEST ASSESSMENT OF YOURSELF

The mirror does not lie, so face the mirror and look at your body despite how painful it will be. Although painful, it’s necessary. This is the first and most important step you can take to losing the fat on your body. This is time for honesty and truth.

You have to quit denying the fact that you are fat. Your clothes don’t make you look fat if you are fat. The fact – i.e., the truth – that you are fat makes you look fat. You might look better to yourself in certain clothes that hide the fat and lumpy contours of your body. But putting a drape around yourself, for example, would not hide your size to the world and, unless you wear a mask, people can usually see in your face that you are heavy.

The only way not to look fat is to lose the fat on your body. You cannot go through life fooling people (other than yourself). People can see you are fat. So, quit trying to convince yourself you are not fat and face the mirror, honestly. Take off your clothes and look at the mirror. Look at the mirror for at least five minutes. It will be difficult to endure the sight of yourself. It will make you feel bad, maybe terrible, but once you feel bad you will be determined to change. It will fuel your desire to make a change.

You need an intense desire to change. You have to become desperate to change and the only way to do that is by convincing yourself you need to make the change. Once you become desperate to change, you have taken the first step you need to take in order to change. “The journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step.”

By trying to deny to yourself the problem, you are refusing to take action. By admitting to yourself the problem, you will realize that you must take action. You should not go on living this way. You do not have to go on living this way. You can change your habits and accomplish your goal of a lean body. All you have to do is to transform your mind – i.e., the way you think.

If you continue to deny to yourself the need to change just to make yourself feel better in the short term, you will continue to stay trapped in your current body and you will stay unhappy in the long term. By looking in the mirror honestly, you can no longer deny to yourself the need to change. If you convince yourself that you need to change, by taking an honest look at yourself in the mirror, then you will have taken the first step necessary to changing your mind in the manner necessary to achieve your goal of a lean body. Once you know the truth, the path becomes clear.

LOOKING IN THE MIRROR IS THE FIRST AND MOST IMPORTANT STEP

It cannot be emphasized enough that you have to do this. This is very hard to do. But you have to do it. You can do it at home or, better yet, in a clothing store dressing room with wrap around mirrors surrounding you. You might be accustomed to seeing your front view naked but not your back view. Love handles and a fat ass will, most likely, make you want to change.

Or, you can use a camera by yourself if you use a digital camera using a timer or a remote control. You won’t like what you see and that’s the whole point!

This first step is the only way this book will help you and once you take this first step, the remaining steps which follow will then work. Your revulsion at what you see of yourself, while painful, will create an intense desire to change. Then, the next step will follow naturally.

Don’t skip this step. Don’t avoid any longer the pain of seeing yourself as you really are: OBESE. Get past this initial step and the pain of the truth will work for you like no other motivator can. Every time you think of eating for pleasure rather than nourishment, you’ll remember the sight of yourself in the mirror. The remaining steps will follow more easily. The memory of the sight of yourself in the mirror will help deter you from eating merely for pleasure.

There’s no need to belabor the point just to fill pages of this book. Obedience precedes understanding. Do this step – take an honest look in the mirror – first and foremost.

The truth is often painful, but accepting the truth is the first step to healing and recovery. Facing the truth means you are accepting the facts and willing to take action in order to make necessary changes. Many people don’t want to be told the truth because it makes them unhappy. “Ignorance is bliss.”

Truth is your most powerful weapon in warfare, whether it’s worldly warfare, spiritual warfare, or bodily warfare – i.e., battling your own body when it attacks you with cravings or hunger pangs. Refusing or denying the truth costs people dearly.

Once you know the truth, the path becomes clear. Face the truth by facing the mirror.

This message is for you only. Don’t pass the message of this chapter to anyone else as advice. I’m not suggesting you, in particular, would do so but there’s the odd chance someone could carelessly do so. Don’t tell someone to look in the mirror and tell them it will be good for them. Don’t try to help anyone you think needs to lose weight. Just worry about yourself. Don’t make anyone else feel bad. You don’t know how they will take it or handle it. “Truth without love is brutality, and love without truth is hypocrisy.”¹

I only inadvertently saw myself in the mirror because, prior to that, I avoided a good look in the mirror out of the pain and anguish I would feel as a result of being obese. If I hadn’t had the faith to turn to GOD, who knows what could have happened to me? If someone follows your advice and looks in the mirror but fails to follow the next step to pray, they could be left with no hope, hating self, and could fall prey to despair. Something bad could therefore happen to them. So, just focus on yourself and worry about yourself only.

(ABOVE: The photos, above, were taken the day of my grammar school graduation in June 1985, just before I turned age 14. Even with a gown on you can tell I was fat. Take off the gown and shirt, at that’s the body I had to look at in the mirror before I got the desperation to lose all the fat on my body.)

Chapter 2 “Go To Your Room!”

After I Faced the Mirror, My Only Hope was in God

That night, after seeing myself in the mirror at school in the gym, I was home in bed and I prayed. It was not a typical prayer. I remember praying for three hours. My recollection tells me three hours, even though I know it sounds incredible. But I was in anguish over my body.

I actually begged and pleaded with God to please please please help me, to please make me lose this fat. I was grabbing the large hunks of fat under my skin, on my chest, fat rolls on my gut. I begged God to make it go away; to help me lose this fat once and for all.

Losing the fat on my body had only been a day dream before then. It had been an impossible thing to accomplish for so long. All the way through grammar school, I could only fantasize that I looked like the normal kids – the skinny kids or the lean muscular kids. I wished I could be normal looking, good looking, popular, happy, and have a girlfriend. But it had been just a wish for so long; just a fantasy. A few times I had fasted an entire day trying to lose weight but that would only make me light headed and weak.

But, after that night when I prayed earnestly, it was no longer just a fantasy. After that night when I begged and pleaded with God for hours to please please please help me, my life changed quickly. God listened and responded.

Because I was being raised as a Catholic at that time, I had Catholic notions of Jesus Christ. I prayed to God and Jesus Christ even though at that time I believed completely in God but was not so sure about the relevance of Jesus Christ. (Catholics get a notion of Jesus Christ as one of many important people due to the lack of emphasis on the words of Jesus, lack of emphasis on reading the New Testament, and an overemphasis on apostles, “canonized” saints, Mary and Joseph, “baby Jesus” in “the holy family”, not to mention all its robotic rituals.)

PRAY TO GOD

After you’ve taken the first step – an honest look in the mirror – do not despair. You will feel anguish, though, at first. And this anguish must be followed by prayer. So, you must have hope. Put your hope in God. God has the power to transform you. And if you ask God, He will give you the power to transform your body.² It is said that “the starting point of achievement is desire.”³ But I believe that if you desire something bad enough to pray for it, then you can achieve whatever it is you desire. This is not a new idea. You can read the Holy Bible and it will tell you the power of prayer.⁴ Whether you believe it is another matter.

I assure you that when I was 15 years old and prayed to God that one momentous night, I was not doing so because of anything I read in the Holy Bible. Again, being raised as a Catholic at that time, I knew very little about what was stated in the Holy Bible. I knew characters (Adam and Eve, Noah’s Ark, Moses, Mary and Joseph, twelve apostles, “baby Jesus,” etc.) in the bible but not much else. Plus, I was still just an adolescent.

I suppose it was a natural instinct to ask God. Any time you ask a person for something, there is always uncertainty. The person might refuse. If you ask a total stranger for something, they are more likely to refuse. If you ask a cousin or a sibling, they might be just as likely to refuse. But if you ask your mom or dad for something you are more likely to receive what you ask for. If you ask a grandparent for something, you are maybe even more likely to receive what you ask for. God made man in his own image.⁵ So don’t think that God is any less likely to give to his children that which they ask for and which is good for them. Jesus said:

"So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!" (Luke 11:9-13)

Upon reading the preceding passage, you may wonder why you would want the Holy Spirit after asking for “x y or z.” You may think, initially, “keep the Holy Spirit, just give me ‘x y and z’.” To understand, you have to know who the Holy Spirit is and what the Holy Spirit does.

THE HOLY SPIRIT ENABLES YOU TO ACCOMPLISH GOD’S PURPOSE FOR YOU

Jesus spoke about the Holy Spirit quite extensively which was recounted in the gospel of John. Jesus said:

“You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it. If you love me, you will obey what I command. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever – the Spirit of truth.” (John 14:14-17)

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Contents

Preface

Chapter 1

The Truth Hurts

Chapter 2

“Go To Your Room!”