Sometimes I Get My Shoes on Backwards
Copyright ©2014 E. Michael Lunsford. All rights reserved
ISBN: 978143533674
eISBN: 9781483537436
To Merlyn, the love of my life.
E. Michael Lunsford
lunsfordmichael@comcast.net
Sometimes
Sometimes I get my shoes on backwards,
Sometimes my socks don't match.
Sometimes my buttons are all uneven,
Sometimes I need a patch.
Sometimes I forget to tie my laces,
Sometimes I'm such a dunce.
I suppose I should be grateful, though—
It's never all at once.
The Halloween Pumpkin
When are we throwing the pumpkin away?
It's getting too scary, I think.
It once had a wonderful toothiful grin,
But now the face is just caving right in,
And the thing's really starting to stink!
Father's Moustache
We're selling Father's moustache,
I hope he doesn't mind.
We're hoping for a hefty price,
Say, $13.99
It's not that we need the money,
Although it couldn't hurt.
It's just that he looks so funny,
Like he fell face down in the dirt.
And all our friends are laughing,
They point at him and stare,
And pass us giggling down the street
Like we're not even there.
So late tonight at midnight,
We'll have our fondest dream;
My brother with the shaver,
And me with shaving cream.
We'll put some earmuffs on his head
And cover up his eyes,
We'll even tie him to the bed,
Oh, won't he be surprised!
'Cause he'll wake up feeling lighter
In the head, but won't know why.
Yep, we're selling Father's moustache,
Do you think he'd like to buy?
Bedtime
Would you believe there's a pig in my bed?
There is, Dad, I promise! He's big, and he's red,
And he snores something awful!
Like halfway between
A grunt and an oink, if you know what I mean.
And I not only can't get him out of my bed,
He won't even move over!
So what if instead
Of trying to deal with this pork chop with feet,
I stay up, watch TV, have a little to eat,
Or go do some homework, I know you'd like that,
'Cause I'm not really sleepy!
—and besides, there's this bat
That keeps flying past my window all night!
And I wouldn't mind that,
It just makes me up tight