The Parent’s Guide to Uncluttering Your Home

 

How to Organize What You Need and Recycle What You Don’t

By Janet Morris Grimes

The Parent’s Guide to Uncluttering Your Home: How to Organize What You Need and Recycle What You Don’t

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Grimes, Janet Morris, 1967-

The parent’s guide to uncluttering your home : how to organize what you need and recycle what you don’t / by Janet Morris Grimes.

p. cm.

ISBN-13: 978-1-60138-338-9 (alk. paper)

ISBN-10: 1-60138-338-X (alk. paper)

1. Storage in the home. 2. House cleaning. 3. Parents--Life skills guides. I. Title.

TX309.G75 2010

648’.5--dc22

2010037800

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A few years back we lost our beloved pet dog Bear, who was not only our best and dearest friend but also the “Vice President of Sunshine” here at Atlantic Publishing. He did not receive a salary but worked tirelessly 24 hours a day to please his parents.

Bear was a rescue dog who turned around and showered myself, my wife, Sherri, his grandparents Jean, Bob, and Nancy, and every person and animal he met (well, maybe not rabbits) with friendship and love. He made a lot of people smile every day.

We wanted you to know a portion of the profits of this book will be donated in Bear’s memory to local animal shelters, parks, conservation organizations, and other individuals and nonprofit organizations in need of assistance.

– Douglas and Sherri Brown

PS: We have since adopted two more rescue dogs: first Scout, and the following year, Ginger. They were both mixed golden retrievers who needed a home.

This book serves as proof that sometimes dreams chase you down until you are ready to surrender to their power. Appreciation for my husband, Thomas, for your patience, for your belief in me, and for putting up with the clutter the process of writing this book caused. To my kids, Crystal, Andrew, and Malloree, for giving me daily reasons to become an author. How could I not write about you? To my Mom and sister, Jeanna, for demonstrating perseverance and inner strength when no one but me was watching. I love you all.

Do you own your stuff, or does it own you? Do you have a two-car garage that houses everything but your car? If you answered a resounding yes and you are a parent, then Janet Morris Grimes’ book The Parent's Guide to Uncluttering Your Home is for you!

Clutter is an issue that has no restrictions as to who suffers from its clutches, and if left unattended, clutter can cause stress, anxiety, and loss of time as you constantly look for something. Aside from that, you teach your children a bad habit they will take into adulthood. By getting a handle on your stuff and mandating a place for everything, you teach your children responsibility and skills they will take into adulthood — and your house will get organized now.

The battle over clutter is a battle all parents must deal with, especially if they do not have proper systems in place to begin with. The main struggle with parents is getting their kids in the habit of putting their stuff in its proper place. Kids learn from their parent’s actions and behaviors; if parents do not put their stuff away, why should children? The Parent's Guide to Uncluttering Your Home helps parents identify what processes are missing in their households and how to establish them with the six-week commitment, as well as how to help get the entire family on board and take back their home. The key is helping families break down what the problem is — including compulsive shopping, not putting stuff away the first time, and not having a designated place for the stuff— establishing a plan, and then breaking the home into clutter zones and deciding how to de-clutter and then reorganize them. Important tips are broken down into bullet points in the "Oppress the Mess" sidebars, which are extremely helpful, and in the checklists that help parents act as if they are getting their home ready for sale, which was one of my favorite parts of the book.

As owner of Bante Design LLC and the creator of The Clutter Counseling program, I highly recommend this book for any parent who wants to take back control of his or her stuff (and conversely, his or her life) and teach kids good organizational habits. This book serves as a guide for setting up an action plan to get all family members involved, a room-by-room checklist of what to tackle and how, and case studies to help illustrate each point with real-life examples that readers can identify with.

Happy Purging!

DeAnna Radaj

Bante Design LLC

Move Your Couch, Change Your Life

www.bantedesign.com

www.deannaradaj.com

info@bantedesign.com

DeAnna Radaj, owner of Bante Design LLC, is a nationally recognized speaker on healthy home design, color therapy/theory, psychology of clutter for adults and children, and a variety of business topics for the individual, small business owner, and entrepreneur. Her design philosophy entails designing spaces that are not only beautiful and comfortable but also spaces that bring out the client’s personality. Visit the Bante Design website for a list of all workshops and appearances at www.bantedesign.com.

Table of Contents

A cluttered lifestyle is as cumbersome as it sounds: unproductive, unfocused, unimaginative, and unyielding. When surrounded by clutter, this may be how you feel about yourself, as well as your home. Any sparks of creativity are quenched because there is no time or space to follow through with your ideas. Constantly aware of what needs to be done, you are never quite sure how or where to start. Any tasks you complete bring no sense of accomplishment because bigger, harder, and messier tasks clamor for your attention. You go through the motions and try to keep up, but at the end of the day, you wonder if you accomplished anything at all.

If this is how you feel when living in a cluttered environment, imagine what it does to your family. This is one of the most important reasons to gain control of your home. You need to recapture your family’s sense of fun and need to open their world to how motivated and focused they can be in the right environment. By understanding why your clutter has taken over your home and by chipping away at the problem one room at a time, you will be thrilled to discover the fulfilling lifestyle that waits for you. You will view your life through a renewed sense of clarity and focus and will be so thankful you took the steps to arrive at such a destination.

If the clutter in your home robs you from focusing on your children as they come in the door at the end of a hectic day, it is time to do something about it. If your home’s current state presents a barrier between you and the friends and family you yearn to invite inside, then it is time to change. If the condition of your home is a sensitive topic between you and your spouse that frequently causes arguments, it is time to find a common middle ground to improve this condition. If you find yourself staying away from your home as long as possible so you will not be forced to confront your clutter, it is time to choose another course of action.

The cluttered lifestyle leads to confusion and a lack of focus for everyone involved. Clutter serves as a constant reminder of the lengthy list of what you still must do. When you surround yourselves with meaningless stuff, it becomes excess baggage, causing you to waste time and effort carrying it around with you. In order to recognize and identify patterns of clutter, you need to step back and seek a fresh point of view. As you seek a permanent lifestyle change, you must first take a complete inventory of the history of your habits, emotions, and physical possessions. It could be that your cluttered home reflects a cluttered heart and mind as well.

As your family grows, both in number as well as in physical size, so does the list of things you own. Any new parent marvels at the amount of equipment required to care for the baby: Bottles, food, toys, clothing, blankets, diapers, baby wipes, playpens or portable cribs, and high chairs take over your home when you welcome a new baby to the world. Then, as your children quickly outgrow their clothes, shoes, and toys, a parent can barely keep up with what is still usable and what is no longer needed. Without an outlined plan of action, any home will fall victim to the piles of stuff that accumulate as children grow. Having a family translates to a frenzied schedule that multiplies with each new addition. As you manage your family, keeping up with and supporting the activities of each child, little time remains to manage and maintain the home.

For those of you who find yourselves surrounded by clutter, the process of learning to control it may feel overwhelming. Not knowing where to start paralyzes you, preventing you from making any changes at all. This book is set up in such a way that it offers tips and ideas you can use at any time, and each step to improvement builds on another. However, it also establishes an introduction period where you family forms new habits. Beginning a difficult task is the hardest part, but by creating a launching point and then adding to it each day, you will progress further than you ever dreamed. Over time, you will learn what works for your family and how quickly you can make improvements to create a welcoming and uncluttered environment.

Where to Begin When it Seems Overwhelming

This book is an important first step in your journey from clutter to clarity. The journey requires you to take a few steps in the right direction each day. If you frequently chide yourself because of your cluttered lifestyle, it signifies you are unhappy with your current situation. Your children naturally look to you for guidance, and if you send the wrong message, maintaining the home becomes a chore that everyone dreads. If you change your approach, then your children and spouse will do the same. When your family is part of the solution, the result will be a home everyone can be proud of, which also will feed your family’s desire to keep your home clean and clutter-free.

Your family must contribute every day by doing something as simple as putting shoes away as soon as they are taken off. When this becomes a habit, add to it by creating another simple task, such as placing keys and cell phones in the same place every day. New habits develop only after repeated, concentrated effort, but once they are established, there is little thought involved in performing the task. The act of keeping your house clean will no longer be something your family dreads because it will become second nature to all of you.

This is true for any desired change in lifestyle. In order to lose weight, you must form new eating habits. In order to save money and get out of debt, you must create new spending habits. To raise a family that manages its own clutter, your family must form new habits. Building this type of discipline is not easy, but it is necessary to accomplish your family’s goals.

As an overwhelmed parent, if the clutter in your life freezes you in your tracks and prevents you from reaching your dreams, assume it does the same for the members of your family. Free yourself and the ones you love most by allowing yourselves to flourish in your new, clutter-free environment.

About this Book

This book was written from a parent’s point of view — a parent who, as a matter of fact, could never be described as a naturally neat person. For some, the need to be clean and orderly is not an inherent part of their personality. As a person grows up, gets married, and creates a family of his or her own, it becomes apparent there are many types of personalities that range from self-proclaimed “neat freaks” to “slobs” — and everything in between. Families consist of interesting blends of all of these characteristics so it is important to tolerate the behavior of others while still creating an environment where new habits can form. It may never bother your messy son that his coat is on the chair closest to the front door, yet he can still learn to place it on a hanger as soon as he enters the house. Your “neat freak” daughter may have to adjust to the idea of a taking her shoes off by the front door rather than neatly lining them up in her closet so she does not track dark footprints all through the house.

Living as a family unit requires give and take for everyone involved. Acceptance, patience, and a desire to do what is best for all members will go a long way in determining a successful outcome as you attempt to conquer the clutter that any family possesses.

The truth is that overly cluttered homes do not happen overnight but instead over a long time. Do not expect drastic changes to take place in one day or even one week; realize you must make a concentrated effort. As you learn new tricks and discover for yourself what will work for your family, you will possess the tools you need to make a permanent improvement. The pathway to improving the atmosphere and organization of your home begins with clarifying the roles of each member of your family. The process may be an uphill battle but is well worth the climb.

Charting the Way Out

This book includes a series of charts, checklists, and quizzes to help you identify what will work best for your family. Some family members may need to organize their thoughts before putting any of them into action, identifying specific thought processes in order to let go of old patterns of behavior. Each family is unique, and yours may appreciate a chart or checklist to simplify areas of your home life. There is no need to try to attempt this feat on your own when so many experts have gone on before to chart a path to success. The way out begins with reaching for help and accepting the tried and true ideas of others along the way.

Oppress the Mess Tips

Tip boxes are scattered throughout the chapters of this book, referred to as “Oppress the Mess” tips. These offer quick reminders and simple solutions that take little time but keep the mess at bay. Think of these tips as bite-sized pieces for both parents and children. Write them on sticky notes and post them on your mirrors as a different goal for each week. As your family begins to take note, your minds are being retrained and results will soon follow.

Oppress the Mess: Tip #1

Examine the ways clutter steals from you and your family.

Clutter wastes your valuable time – Storing things where they are used will save your family time and frustration.

Clutter may cause you to waste money – Have you ever purchased a duplicate of something you already own simply because you can no longer find the original? By eliminating clutter and realizing what you already have and where it is located, you will reduce the chances of purchasing duplicates.

Clutter wastes your energy – Leaving something out of place means you adapt to it and work around it, possibly even cleaning around it. You will never be happy with the results until everything is in its place.

Clutter can cause accidents or bring unhealthy living conditions – Repeatedly stepping or tripping over misplaced items on the floor is a clear signal that it is time to remove them. Growing piles of paper, magazines, or clothes invite insects and other unwelcome critters to form a home there.

One Step at a Time

This book presents a room-by-room, habit-by-habit approach to conquering the clutter in your life, making it easier to choose at least one improvement each day that will make a difference. Each step in the right direction brings success and will inspire you to proceed further down this path of remaining clutter-free.

You will find that certain chapters have information and tips you can apply immediately, while others may take longer to accomplish. The purpose of this book is to lead you to discover new ideas and embrace the fresh possibilities for your home. As you let go of past guilt or negative thinking that comes from living in an overly cluttered home, recognize these feelings may be exactly what holds you back. There is no room for blame if you hope to find the road to a better existence. What matters is that you desire better surroundings and harmony for all who enter your home, and it will require the support of your entire family to accomplish this feat.

As a parent, you may sometimes feel as if you are running through life at a full sprint, hurrying through without ever realizing why you are running that particular race in the first place. If you change your course of action and pace yourself as if you are running a marathon instead of a 100-yard dash, you will set yourself up for success. As in the story of the tortoise and the hare, a slow and steady approach will create winners out of you and your family.

With the right training, keeping an orderly home will be a side benefit to improving the teamwork and cooperation within your family. A cluttered home will no longer be your only focus, nor will it provide a constant source of shame or guilt.

Reading this book will help you learn to do the following:

• Look at your home through a fresh point of view in order to identify quick improvements.

• Establish a plan of action customized for your family and the various personalities within it.

• Find creative and fun ways to get and keep your family involved.

• Take control of the contents of your home rather than allowing them to control you.

• Set yourself up for success by focusing on small, daily improvements rather than changing your environment all at one time.

• Take the stress out of maintaining control of your home, which will open it up for the enjoyment of your family and friends.

• Develop a successful plan, even if both parents work outside the home.

• Establish a method of storing things where they are most likely to be used, which also increases the chances of them being returned to their appropriate location.

• Create ways to build fun into work days or cleaning days, making them more rewarding for the entire family.

• Dissolve the territorial attitude many kids have regarding their belongings or assigned chores; as everyone works together toward a common goal, it matters less whose job it is to do a particular task.

Table of Contents