“Pleasure is the foundation of life, sexuality its best reward”

“When people are happy they shine. When they are sexual they sparkle.”

Life Energy Medicine Books

© Ambika Wauters 2013

The author reserves the right to be identified as the copyright holder.

All rights reserved. Subject to the copyright act of 1968, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior written permission of the author.

Life Energy Medicine Books. 2954 N Campbell Ave, Tucson, AZ 85719

http://www.lifeenergymedicine.com

ISBN: 978-0-9894337-0-9

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Contents:

Forward

Acknowledgments

Part One: Introduction on Pleasure

Chapter One: Pleasure: The Cornerstone of Health

Chapter Two: Pleasure: Healing a Tired Spirit

Chapter Three: Pleasure: How to Cultivate it for Daily Living

Chapter Four: Pleasure: The Big List of Pleasure

Part Two: Introduction on Sexuality

Chapter One: Sexuality And Health

Chapter Two: Healing Sexual Shame and Guilt

Chapter Three: Being Resonant with Your Sexuality

Chapter Four: Getting in Shape for Sex

Chapter Five: Sexuality for Life

Conclusion: Guidelines for healing diminished pleasure and sexuality.

A THERAPUTIC GUIDE TO EXPERIENCING THE SIMPLE JOYS OF LIFE

Includes reflective discourse, meditations, visualizations, affirmations, prayers, homeopathic and energetic medicine & nutritional guidance

BY

AMBIKA WAUTERS, CCH, R.S.Hom

Forward by Vonette Thorner, DHom

Forward

Having managed a homeopathic book business, I was privileged to have come in contact with Ambika and her writing. Just 10 days after having fractured a vertebrae in my back, I met Ambika face to face for the first time at a conference. Her positive energy and compassion helped me to gain strength and look forward to the next time our paths might cross. A few months later I took an interest in color and sound remedies, and knowing that she was the homeopath who proved these remedies, I gave Ambika a call. Coincidentally, she was embarking on a new business venture that needed my management expertise. A partnership was born.

I have been so blessed to be a part of this journey. She has taught me so much about homeopathic formulation, positive thinking, higher consciousness and perseverance. Most importantly, she has taught me the importance of pleasure and sexuality. This book is a true testament to what she has learned through her time on this planet.

I challenge you, as the reader, to leave prejudice, guilt and shame behind you as you embark on the journey to healing your own sense of martyrdom and open yourself to LIVING, not just existing.

Let’s abolish Pleasure Deficit Disorder!

Vonette Thorner, DHom

Acknowledgments:

This book has taken three years to complete. It was driven out a personal desire to heal martyrdom. That includes my own familial pre-disposition to it , and the collective martyrdom that impedes people from healing and growth. Many people, during these years, have facilitated my healing and transformation. I am so grateful to them all.

My Israeli friends: Audrey Benaroche, a young, brave, highly intelligent woman taught me kickboxing at age 65 to strengthen me ; Karen Pichel, a warm bright light in a cold , dark place, Mark Nissek, who sang the Ana B’Choach prayer to me in Safed over a bowl of hot soup. Thank you all for your light , courage and kindness.

To the therapists and healers who helped ignite my passion and creativity asleep at my core. Dearest Nina Norell, goddess of the heart, I love you; Monera McLaren, a very tiny chiropractor with a very big spirit; Robert Van Arsdale of The Beloved path. He set the seal on unconditional love and reminded me to love no matter what; Leslie Romero, gifted acupuncturist, when the pieces fell apart you helped me put them back together with love, tenderness and humor.

To my dearest friends: Gaynor Gabriel, true friend of lifetimes and a gifted writer, thank you for always believing I could do what I set my heart to accomplish; cherished friend; Kermie Wolhenhaus, amazing clairvoyant and writer, who always told me to look up instead of down; Karen Rose Smith, who dressed this vessel of love with pride and style and sistered the remarkabletransformation from Martyr to Marvelous; Sylvia Mattetson, prayer partner through thick and thin for years, a true blessing of a human being; Barbara Burninson, the best teacher I ever had for anything helped me find my voice; Chrissy Nelson took care of my skin, took the knots and kinks out of my body and always gave true care and kindness; Jane Larabee, a remarkably beautiful woman who has impeccable integrity; Dr. Kristen Lorenz; a gift to medicine and a true holder of wisdom; Nita Steinberg, my sister, wise, funny and kind who is always on the other end of the phone when I need to talk ; and Vonette Thorner, a rock of reliability , intelligence and spirit, whose great gifts have helped me accomplish so much in my work related endeavors. You have been a great source of goodness to me . . Thank you, thank you, thank you for the blessing of friends.

To several good authors who wrote inspiring books which helped me along the path: Thomas Moore writing about sexuality with so much grace; Debbie Ford, may her soul know the comfort and help she brought the world, Rhonda Byrne’s MAGIC is in tatters after half dozen reads. Thank you for inspiration and help.

To the good men in my life whose guidance taught me many realities . You helped nourish my spirit, fed my mind with knowledge and stood by me through times of change. . Joe Sugarman, catalyst for serious transformation ; Mike Crumley and Dennis Kirchoff, the best guy friends a gal could have; Anthony Mazza, who brought me the living truth of pleasure . You can cook up more pleasure faster and better than anyone I ever met and you re a a gem of a man.

All I can say is that I am lucky woman to be graced by the love and friendship of such marvelous, kind, loving human beings. Bless you all. It’s been a pleasure!

Ambika

Part One:

Definition of PLEASURE from Miriam Webster Dictionary

transitive verb

1 : to give pleasure to: ^GRATIFY

2 : to give sexual pleasure to

intransitive verb

1 : to take pleasure : ^DELIGHT

2 : to seek pleasure

Introduction: The Soul of Pleasure

This Book

Each chapter of this book is designed to guide you in restoring vibrancy and resiliency to your life so you can partake in joyful pleasure and satisfying sexuality. Each step you are willing to take towards healing dysfunction, deprivation and unhappiness transforms your diminished capacity for joy into positive life energy.

As you let go of negativity, your spirit fills that vacuum with the pure nectar of life. You have endless options for opening yourself to what you long for and hope to enjoy. We are given two choices for how we open to life: one is through pain, the other is through pleasure. When we choose pleasure we experience a deep gratitude for life and experience its sweetness. We revel in the joy of life itself. When we choose pain the taste of bitterness and bile remain for a long while; and they become challenging to root out.

If we focus on pleasure, all we want and need will eventually come to us. Our cup becomes full of pleasure with little things and big. The mind always creates what it focuses on. When we use this universal law for pleasure and sexuality we appreciate the results.

This book focuses on our innate right to pleasure and sexuality. Our awareness of these expands exponentially as we affirm our worth and honor our choices for a good life. As we acknowledge our need for pleasure and sexuality we call the people and experiences into our lives who help co-create our fulfillment. We become co-creators of our good.

Our Right to Pleasure:

We all have a right to the experience of pleasure. Allowing this right to expand and seek fulfillment is the foundation for happiness and satisfaction. To expand our right to it we give ourselves permission to have fun, delight in life, learn to relax and enjoy simple pleasures. We cultivate our good through affirming life with a resounding “YES” for all we love and desire.

We all want a place at the table of the Great Feast of Life. Affirming our right to pleasure and sexuality gives us a front seat at the table. It lets us partake in this feast with gusto. We savor each and every bite of all that makes life sweet.

When we taste the best in life we want to share it with those we love. As we say YES we forgive ourselves our faults and accept our limitations. Most importantly, we stop punishing ourselves for feeling we are not deserving enough to have what we want.

If we long to thrive, enjoy peace and pleasure, we put an end to the torture and destructivity of guilt and shame. We want to enjoy life and live in confidence and certainty with bliss in our mind and hearts.

This Book Helps with:

This book helps build self worth and confidence. It assists you in affirming your worth so you are able to receive more of what you want. As you develop clear intentions to receive joy, pleasure and sexual satisfaction, you open yourself to have a profound experience of your worth. It becomes easier to claim what you want, feel free to enjoy it and let it grow as a positive force living within you.

As you do this inner work to expand your consciousness every cell in your body expands with positive energy. Whenever you acknowledge you are worthy of what you say you want your body can only respond with health giving energy and vitality.

You begin to look at situations and people with a more wholesome eye for fun and delight. You see the possibility of pleasure in more situations, with more people. You stop worrying and fretting over what can not be changed or what you have little control over.

Pleasure is a reminder of what is good, sweet, juicy and tender in life. When we give ourselves permission to experience it we grow in the fullness of life. Knowing this makes it easier to take responsibility for our hopes and desires. We learn it is possible to be happy have more of what we want to enjoy life.

PLEASURE AND GRATITUDE

Pleasure ultimately makes us grateful for the gifts of life. Giving thanks is the true essence of all spirituality. Pleasure makes us aware of the precious experiences we have enjoyed. We stop feeling entitled to it and become appreciative.

As we open ourselves to pleasure it enhances our being. We become sweeter, nicer and happier. Pleasure literally pumps endorphins through our blood by releasing Oxytocin, the happiness hormone, into our brain. This energizes, purifies and tonifies our cells and makes us receptive to all good.

Pleasure keeps us buoyant and makes us happy. It keeps us fulfilled and satisfied and it nourishes us with vitality and resiliency. What more is there to ask for in life?

Too much hard work, too much stress and worry for too long become self punishment. Guilt thrives on the feeling we are not worthy of happiness. It lives in the past becoming fat on the idea of something we did or who we believe we are. Learning to forgive and release the past contributes to our self worth and raises us up for confidence in life.

Without time for ease, joy and fun, the tasks we do become heavy and burdensome. We dry up, become cranky and irritable old people. We lose our vitality and our sexual function diminishes quickly. Life can be very dull without joy.

In truth, the spirit loves pleasure. It is uplifted by music, beauty, and touch. It asks to be honored and fed on a regular basis with all that makes us feel good and gives us pleasure. A healthy sense of pleasure is the mark of a well rounded, healthy individual.

If we indulge in too much pleasure the spirit sours; it becomes corrupted. It begins to feel entitled rather than responsible for what it creates, and it becomes lazy. If we deprive ourselves with too little pleasure we become dry, shriveled and rigid. Mastery is learning to balance stress with pleasure. It is the formula for a good life. For those seeking this balance here is a recipe for success.

Chapter One:

Pleasure: The Cornerstone of Health

Feeding the gods of Pleasure:

The ancient Egyptians honored their river god Sobek. He represented the forces of pleasure, ease and leisure. He resembled a large, lazy crocodile living in the Nile.

Along the Nile basin crocodiles basked in the sun all day, occasionally hunting food. Often they waited for dinner simply to pop into their mouths. They exerted little effort for their supper.

The ancients believed Sobek had to be fed regularly with all things he delighted in that brought him pleasure. If he became hungry and demanding they believed chaos would ensue. He was known, in times of drought, when the river was low, to seek human flesh to feed his appetite. The Egyptians believed it was essential to appease this god and keep him content before that happened.

Buddhists also believe in an ancient form of sea monster that resides deep within the human belly. This monster resembles Sobek in that he, too, must be fed. Their rituals offered this monster food and sweet delights to keep him happy.

The ancients knew that a too stringent and severe lifestyle created emotional and spiritual starvation. They believed in honoring pleasure with joyful activities and positive thoughts. This appeased the beast.

They knew it wrong to starve a person of pleasure or to do punishing fasts and harsh practices. Finding the Middle Way was the enlightened awareness the Buddha brought mankind.

Today pleasure keeps us stable and steady in the flow of daily life. We need balance to stay happy, be fruitful and creative. We learn to give ourselves more ease and pleasure to balance our work.

The key to pleasing ourselves is simply believing we are worthy of ease and rest. We maintain high levels of self worth to stop ourselves falling into martyrdom and drudgery.

When we know we are worthy, we value our labor, honor our output, respect our creativity and our capacity to nourish others. We also pay attention to our need for rest and peace, affection and social interaction. We develop healthy boundaries that are self preserving and insure our needs are met.

Work defines us in our culture but it is pleasure that keeps the engines oiled and the spirit strong. If we look at the heavy burdens and accrued pressures that could limit our capacity for pleasure we see it’s important to be vigilant about enjoying moments of pleasure that sustain us in challenging times.

Learning to be responsible for our own welfare and happiness is what defines us as mature adults. Adults take care of their needs and plan for pleasure. They know they must have time off, ease and rest, joy and fun to keep their ship afloat.

Work, in general, teaches us to control and manipulate circumstances. Pleasure teaches us to let go and simply be in the flow of life. Once we integrate these two oppositional forces we create a healthy balance that is sustainable.

In other words, pleasure prepares us for more hard work; and work offers us the reward of ease and fun. This balance strengthens a healthy ego development. It shows us the importance of rigor in hard work and the freedom to play associated with adult pleasure. Together they help form our identity and create a meaningful and fulfilling existence.

People who are constantly striving, afraid to let go or ease up on control have a fear of losing something. They hold the reins tenaciously. Ultimately they will wear themselves down with their own tightness and rigidity.

They fear intimacy and vulnerability and often become obsessive giving little room for pleasure. Fulfillment is seldom a part of their experience.

THE INDIVIDUALITY OF PLEASURABLE PURSUITS

Pleasure is not prescriptive. What suits one individual may not suit another. Pleasure is individual and must accommodate each person’s desires for what makes their heart sing.

For some people it can be as simple as watching a child at play, or walking in a beautiful garden. For others it may involve active sport, hard workouts or adventure.

It’s always good to know what gives you pleasure and have an extended repertoire of activities to enjoy.

Pleasure can be as gentle as taking a hot bath after a hard day’s work, or enjoying intimacy with your partner. Pleasure is whatever you define as what helps you let go, ease down and enjoy yourself.

Pleasure is simple; it needs to delight you and make you feel good. Only you know what pleasures hold magic for you. Pleasure diffuses what is crusty and hard. It blows away the cobwebs from our minds and releases what is too serious and dour.

Pleasure helps our spirit rejuvenate. Pleasure is ultimately satisfying to the senses and helps release tension in the body. Pleasure has a sweet perfume we never tire of sensing.

Too much tension eventually numbs and paralyzes the senses. Conversely, too much pleasure does the same. Being sated with pleasure makes us lazy. Our task is to find that balance between too much and too little pleasure. It’s a wise person who knows the right measure when enough is enough.

Balance asks us to keep our fingers on the pulse of how we feel. It demands we stay aware of what the time and our energy call for at any particular moment. Pleasure is a resource we want at our command.

Creating time for ease, fun and enjoyment means learning to say no to impending responsibilities and putting personal challenges into a safe compartment we can return to when we are refreshed. Pleasure needs room to expand.

Hard work stimulates the mind and generates our will forces. These keep us moving forward in life. We often define ourselves through our ability to master hard and challenging work. We can also define our nature through the pleasures that delight us and bring us joy.

Pleasure is the stop gap between the battles of life. It regenerates our natural forces needed to master the next task. Without pleasure to help us regenerate we become stagnant and, often, lose control of the situations we most want to master.

Accepting Pleasure:

The key to pleasure lies in our ability to receive it. When we know we deserve pleasure we integrate it into our life. We make room for it because we know its importance in the rhythm of our life. It is as essential as good sleep, healthy digestion and ease.

Cultivating healthy attitudes about pleasure help keep us on track with our lives. Smart people know when to stop striving, when to let go, when to ease down and relax. They have enough wisdom and experience to let things unfold in their own way without pushing for more.

There is intelligence in knowing when to rest, slow the pace and ease off the pressure. It conserves energy and fortifies the body and mind preparing us for major tasks and hard work.

People who consistently push themselves to the wall, show disrespect to their physical needs and mental limits. They burn out easily. Their nervous system can not sustain the unending assault. Without respite, the system weakens with loss of stamina, depleted resiliency and vitality. This makes people vulnerable and susceptible to illness.

Doctors and health care practitioners are inundated daily with clients suffering from adrenal insufficiency, chronic fatigue, and ailments brought on by stress. We may have super human wills that can allow us to drive ourselves without play and rest but the body has finite limitations. Health is conditional on healthy kidneys, functioning livers and strong, healthy hearts.

Victims of chronic illness and burn out regain their health by resting and re-educating themselves on the healing power of pleasure, ease and joy. For some used to pushing and driving themselves beyond their endurance levels that is a challenging task. It’s not possible to “work” at pleasure, you simply have to give in to it.

When we learn to balance fun, ease, pleasure and sexuality with the rigors of hard work we have given the good room to fill our lives. As we accept that good we expand our capacity to hold more pleasure, ease and fun.

Few people in today’s fast world have a healthy understanding of the power of pleasure to heal their stressed minds. In truth, pleasure nourishes a tired spirit and heals an exhausted body. It transforms us thoroughly and renews us at a cellular level.

Finding a good balance between productivity and relaxation creates good health. It gives healing and regeneration. Pleasure allows us to let go of accumulated tension and give over to the moment.

Opening the Door to Pleasure: