reading

Cover Design by Eric Granata

Illustrations by Ted Slampyak

Photography by Darren Bush, Antonio Centeno, Brett Mckay and Matt Moore

Typesetting by Screen Four Solutions

may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever

without the express written permission of the publisher

except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

First Printing, 2013

ISBN 978-0-9891903-0-5

Semper Virilis Publishing

PO Box 978

Jenks, OK 74037

www.sempervirilis.com

Table of Contents

Introduction

Day #1: Develop a Self-Reliant Mentality

Day #2: How to Do Laundry

Day #3: How to Open and Manage a Checking Account

Day #4: Keep a Regular Grooming and Hygiene Routine

Day #5: Create a Weekly Attack Plan

Day #6: How to Ace a Job Interview

Day #7: How to Make a Bed

Day #8: Living With Roommates

Day #9: Managing Your Online Reputation

Day #10: How to Tie the Half-Windsor Necktie Knot

Day #11: Understand Credit

Day #12: What to Do If You Get in a Car Accident

Day #13: Know How to Network

Day #14: Establish a Simple Cleaning Routine and Stick to It

Day #15: How to Change a Flat Tire

Day #16: Create a Budget

Day #17: Essential Etiquette for Young Men

Day #18: Renting Your First Apartment

Day #19: Fix a Running Toilet

Day #20: Maintaining Your Car

Day #21: Know Your Way Around a Kitchen

Day #22: How to Make Small Talk

Day #23: How to Iron a Dress Shirt

Day #24: How to Be a Savvy Consumer

Day #25: Establish an Exercise Routine

Day #26: 15 Maxims for Being a Reliable Man

Day #27: How to Shop for Groceries

Day #28: How to Jump Start a Car

Day #29: How to Iron Your Trousers

Day #30: How to Manage Stress

Day #31: A Place for Everything and Everything in Its Place

Conclusion

Introduction

Growing up, Dwight D. Eisenhower was responsible for many chores around the house and for looking after his younger brothers. When his mother got sick and was quarantined in a room in the house for several months, Ike was responsible for cooking for his whole family — his mother would call directions to him from her bed on how to make the meals (an experience that gave Ike a lifelong love of cooking). When Eisenhower graduated from high school, he started working as an engineer in a creamery’s ice plant. He worked 84 hours a week on the night shift — from 6pm to 6am, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year. Even with his savings, he didn’t want his college education to put any burden on his parents, so he decided to apply to the Naval Academy. He and a friend sent away for past entrance examinations, and after working all night, Ike would sleep a few hours and then go over to the gas lighting store where his friend was employed, and together they would study every afternoon before Ike had to be back at the ice plant. Eisenhower ended up at West Point and was able to hit the ground running when he got there. That was 1915.

In 2001, I, Brett McKay, graduated from high school and after a summer working at a paint shop, left home to become a freshman at the University of Oklahoma. I had never done my own laundry. I had never cleaned my own bathroom. I had never cooked for myself (unless plates of nachos count). I was a typical middle-class kid from the burbs, and the first time I moved away from home, I floundered. I finished the fall semester with a 2.6 GPA, and moved back home to go to a local college in my hometown. I just didn’t know how to live on my own successfully.

My parents, God bless ‘em, had tried to prepare me for leaving the nest, but they were also willing to do a lot of things for me, and as a teenager lacking foresight, I didn’t see a reason to look the gift horse in the mouth and learn how to do them myself. I eventually learned a lot of the basic life skills I had once been lacking, but I wish I had prepared myself a little better to become independent and self-reliant once I had flown the coop.

Every fall, millions of young men around the country get ready to head off to college and/or move out on their own. In an effort to help these young men avoid the same hapless mistakes I made, and better navigate the waters of independence, we decided to put together this book.

The goal is simple: to help young men heading out on their own for the first time learn some of the very basic life skills they’ll need to succeed once they’re living on their own. If that’s you, think of this book as a 31-day boot camp on becoming a successful, well-adjusted adult. If you’ve already been living on your own for a short time, or even for decades, but either never got around to learning some of these life skills, or simply need to brush up on them, this book is for you, too.

We’ve divided it into 31 chapters or “days.” Each day, you’ll learn a different basic life skill that will help you become self-sufficient as you head out on your own for the first time. We cover everything from shopping for groceries and stocking your kitchen, to ironing your clothes, to properly dealing with stress, and many more of the things that get taken for granted or just don’t apply when living at home. When possible, try to perform, practice, or implement the skill on the day that it’s covered. At the same time, keep in mind that some of these skills will require more than a few hours to master; the traits having to do with your mindset, in particular, will be things you’ll work on over a lifetime. No matter the type of skill, you’ll make mistakes and fail along the way. Don’t get discouraged – just keep working on them. If it makes you feel any better, I’ve been living on my own for over ten years, and I’m still working on some of these “basic” life skills!

Alright, you’ll be packing your bags and heading out the door before you know it, so let’s get cracking on transforming you from dependent boy to self-sufficient man.

Day #1: Develop a Self-Reliant Mentality

This first task is really more of a mindset than a skill set, but it’s a crucial building block that will lay the foundation for the rest of the “harder,” more practical skills we’ll be covering in this book.

It’s developing a self-reliant mentality.

Part of being a grown man is taking care of yourself and making your own decisions. It isn’t until you’re on your own that you realize how much you relied on adults to make your life run smoothly. From doing your laundry to calling the doctor when you were sick, your parents likely did a lot of things for you.

While you might not be completely self-sufficient right when you move out (many young people rely on their parents for varying degrees of financial support well into their twenties), you can certainly be self-reliant in a number of areas in your life. For example, you shouldn’t need your mom to remind you about important appointments or your dad to bug you about taking your car in to get its routine maintenance. You should be able to remember to do those things yourself. A man with a self-reliant mentality doesn’t wait around for someone else to take care of things that need to be taken care of. If he encounters a problem, he takes the initiative and tries to figure out how to resolve it himself.

So how does a man develop a self-reliant mentality?

One of the best answers I have found to this question actually comes from a great, albeit endearingly cheesy, 1950s educational film called “Developing Self-Reliance.” It’s ten minutes long and definitely worth watching:

images

Watch at http://youtu.be/xGROmq1mX1o

In the film, a kind-hearted teacher lays out the four principles of building self-reliance for one of his young students:

images

1. Assume responsibility. Start taking responsibility for your life and the things in it. If you’ve relied on your mom to wake you up every morning so you weren’t late to school, it’s time to make friends with the alarm clock on your smartphone. Start using a calendar to keep track of your appointments and important due dates. When you notice your apartment or dorm room is looking messy, clean it up. Don’t blame your teacher or your boss if you’re not doing well in a class or at work. If you make a mistake, own up to it, and try to make it right yourself instead of immediately running back to mom and dad so they can fix it for you. When you come home to visit your parents, don’t fall back into old routines and let mom do your laundry for you. Parents sacrifice much in taking on not only their own burdens, but the burden of responsibility for each of their children as well. But they should not have to carry more than their own burdens indefinitely; when a child is able, he, in gratitude to the unselfish care he received for many years from his parents, should begin to transfer his load from their shoulders to his, as soon as he possibly can.

I’ll be honest with you. Taking responsibility for your life isn’t all that fun. It requires doing things that are often boring, tedious, frustrating, and time-consuming. You’ll feel the burden of weighing a hard decision and accepting the consequences, even if they’re not favorable to you. You’ll often go un-praised and un-rewarded for being responsible.

But taking responsibility for your life is satisfying. You’ll gain a quiet confidence in yourself as you take control of your own life. You’ll feel empowered. Instead of feeling like life is simply happening to you, you’ll begin to feel like the captain of your destiny and master of your soul. As you assume responsibility for your life, you’ll notice doors open up to new and better opportunities. While you may notice that other young men who don’t take responsibility for their lives seem to enjoy a life of worry-free ease, give it a few years: those same men will probably have progressed little and seem stuck in neutral. You can have little responsibility, a ton of fun and pleasure, and few life options, or a healthy amount of responsibility, a healthy amount of fun and pleasure, and a ton of life options. I personally endorse the latter option. As the video above puts it, while it’s easy to get by having other people do everything for you, “the trouble is, when you’re not self-reliant, you’ll never do more than just get by.”

2. Be informed. Of course in order to take on more responsibilities, you have to know how to carry out those responsibilities. Some young men continue letting mom and dad do things for them, with the excuse that they just don’t know how to do those things themselves. They often turn to their parents to make decisions for them for the same reason. But the truth is, they’ve never actually tried to figure things out on their own.

This excuse is especially weak in the age of the internet, with answers to many of life’s practical questions just a Google search away. Need to figure out how to apply for financial aid? Don’t pawn the job off on mom — get on the computer and start researching it yourself.

This isn’t to say that you should completely avoid mom and dad or other adults for advice and counsel. There are some problems or decisions Google just can’t help with. You should definitely take advantage of the practical wisdom older people have acquired by asking for their input when making an important decision or trying to solve a problem.

However, I’d encourage you not to always make your parents a resource of first resort. We frequently turn to our parents when we don’t really want input — we want to be told what to do. And when parents hear about your problem, they often want to take care of it for you, even when you protest. So investigate yourself first; try figuring things out on your own. Experience can be the best teacher. Once you’ve reached a wall, then go talk to your parents. Because you’ve gotten your hands dirty with your issue, so to speak, you’ll be in a better position to ask them effective questions. Instead of feeling like a kid, you’ll feel more like a fellow traveler in the land of adulthood who’s simply looking for advice from someone who has already been there.

In situations where the stakes are high, turn to others sooner rather than later; oftentimes it’s better to learn from the mistakes of others, rather than making them yourself. But by always taking at least the first steps of intelligence gathering yourself whenever you can, you’ll grow and make discoveries you wouldn’t have otherwise.

The self-reliant man is always looking for a chance to learn and expand his knowledge and skills. He reads books for his classes not because he has to, but because he wants to. And whether he’s in college or on the job, he also reads regularly for pleasure. He keeps up with the news and current events. He talks to others and really listens to them. He’s very observant wherever he goes. In this way, he builds up a library of information that he can draw upon when making a decision or solving a problem.

3. Know where you’re going. A self-reliant man has goals that he has set for himself. His aims are not merely those things other people think he should do. The self-reliant man is autonomous and doesn’t overly rely on others to validate his decisions. A self-reliant man works with an end in mind. He has created a blueprint for his future. When he runs into a problem, he informs himself on what an ideal resolution would be and then works to make it a reality. He plans out his weeks and ensures tasks that he’s responsible for are completed.

4. Make your own decisions. One thing I’ve learned the hard way is that life is actually much easier and a lot less stressful when you proactively make your own decisions. It’s tempting when you’re younger to simply let life happen to you and hope that decisions and problems will magically resolve themselves. They won’t. In fact, problems and decisions often get bigger and harrier the longer you wait to take action on them. Make proactive decision-making a habit. With any choice or problem you may face, decide on an action plan quickly, and execute it immediately.

“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.” –Theodore Roosevelt

Also, while you should certainly seek advice from others to inform your decisions, don’t rely on them to make your decisions for you. It’s your life. Don’t let others live it for you.

Balancing Self-Reliance

Learning to be self-reliant takes time; you’re not magically transformed into a sage, totally autonomous adult the moment you turn 18. Rather, self-reliance is something you develop in stages as you get older, learn from experience, and become more and more independent.

I often get questions like, “When my parents come and visit, is it okay for them to buy me groceries?” “Is it okay for them to pay for my rent?” These men want to know where a young man should draw the line in being self-reliant and receiving assistance from their parents. Unfortunately, I don’t have any easy answers for such queries, and I don’t think there are any hard and fast rules, either. I would recommend asking yourself this question: “Will this support lead to more independence down the road or will it lead to greater dependence?” For example, a recent study showed that college students who get less financial support from their parents think of themselves as adults sooner, drink less, and may be more career-oriented, while those whose parents give them a free ride are more likely to engage in risky behaviors like binge drinking, and may be less motivated in their studies. On the other hand, students with parents who provide no assistance are more likely to take longer to graduate and drop out altogether. Basically, what the study found was that either too much self-reliance or too little can lead to a compromised college career, and less independence in the future; thus, the authors of that study recommended a balanced approach in which parents provide some assistance, while the student is responsible for other expenses. All of which is to say, it’s best to grow into self-reliance in stages — concentrate on becoming self-reliant in whatever you can, wherever you’re at in life, in ways that don’t compromise your ability to gain more independence in later stages.

Day #2: How to Do Laundry

One of the first things many young men will be confronted with doing for themselves for the first time when they leave home is their laundry. It’s not exactly rocket science (none of these 31 basic life skills will be, so let’s retire that caveat today), but there is a surprising amount to it — believe it or not, whole books have been written on the subject! Today we’ll cover the essentials in an easy-to-follow question and answer format. It’s an important skill to learn not just because everybody has to do it every single week without fail, but when you know how to do it properly, you won’t ruin your clothes or wear them out too quickly — something a young man on a budget can ill-afford to do. So let’s get started.

Before You Wash Your Clothes

How Often Do I Need to Wash Things?

You don’t have to wash everything you own after only one use. The less you wash your clothes, the longer they’ll last. While a lot depends on how often you shower, how smelly/sweaty you are, how long you wear the garment, the weather, etc., you can generally gauge whether something needs washing by how it feels and smells. Here’s a breakdown of how often, on average, to wash your various garments:

Undershirts/underwear/socks — 1 wear. So have plenty of pairs. Don’t turn your underwear inside-out for another use! But if you run out, and don’t have time for a wash, wash a pair in the sink at night and let it dry for the morning.

T-shirts — 1 wear. They absorb a lot of oil and sweat.

Jeans — every 4-6 wears. Yes, it is possible to go many months without washing your denim (a must, actually, if it’s selvedge denim), and if they don’t smell, go right ahead; they won’t accumulate any more bacteria after 300 wears than 15. You can spot-clean any stains you get (this goes for other clothing too).

Khaki/cargo shorts and pants — every 2-4 wears. Khakis don’t hide dirt as well as jeans and absorb more bodily sweat and oil.

Button-down shirts and sweaters — 1-3 wears. Very dependent on how tightly the garment fits to the body, the weather, and how long you wore it. When you take it off, give the armpits a sniff. If they don’t smell, put the shirt back on the hanger or drape the sweater over a chair to air out. If it’s right on the border, try a shot of Febreze.

Pajamas — 2-3 wears. Depending on how much you sweat at night (although everybody sweats more while sleeping than they realize — around a liter a night).

Towels — once a week. Assuming daily use.

Bed sheets — every two weeks. Experts say to wash bed sheets every week, but I know most young men aren’t going to do that. But at least wash them every couple of weeks (if you can’t even manage that, at least wash your pillowcase — especially if you have acneprone skin). If you need motivation, think of lying around in skin cells, dust mites and their feces, fungal mold and spores, bodily secretions, and bacteria. Not to mention insect parts, pollen, and soil. Sweet dreams.

How Do I Know How to Wash Something?

READ THE LABEL. If you get anything from this chapter, let it be this. Read the darn label. It will tell you exactly how to wash, dry, and iron your clothes. Don’t worry, you don’t need to know the meaning of those crazy laundry symbols you may have seen on your dad’s 1980s polo shirt. Clothing manufacturers used to rely on them to tell consumers how to wash a piece of clothing. Today, most clothing companies forego the symbols and literally spell out how you’re supposed to wash their clothes. For example, my polo shirt from Criquet Shirts has the following washing instructions: “Machine wash cold. Wash with like colors. Non-chlorine bleach only. Tumble dry low. Warm iron as needed.” I checked my other shirts, and all the labels were similar: instructions all spelled out and no symbols.

If a piece of clothing says “Dry Clean Only,” then take it to the cleaners. Yes, there are ways you can launder dry-clean-only fabrics at home, but for a beginner it’s not worth the risk, and for a young man, probably not worth the hassle. (If you’re a low-maintenance guy who’s never going to want to get something dry-cleaned, be sure to check the label before you buy something.)

How Do I Sort My Clothing Into Loads?

There are all kinds of elaborate laundry sorting systems out there, but for most young, college-aged men they’re overkill. Here’s the system I used during my bachelor years:

First, sort your dirty laundry by color. Many experts recommend creating three different color piles: whites, lights, and darks. In my experience, you just need two: whites and colors. Sorting by color ensures that your white dress shirts don’t turn pink from the bleeding crimson from your OU Sooners t-shirt (don’t ask).

After sorting by color, sort each pile by fabric heft: lighter fabrics (like dress shirts) in one pile and heavier fabrics (like jeans and sweatshirts) in another pile. I also create a pile that consists of bed linens and towels. Sorting by fabric type becomes important when we dry our laundry. Lighter items, like your t-shirts, dry much more quickly than your heavier items, like towels. When you dry light fabrics with other light fabrics, you can reduce the amount of time the dry cycle takes, which saves you money. This doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll need to do more loads either; heavier items, like jeans and sweatshirts, don’t need to be washed as often as other stuff, so just “save up” until you have one big heavy-item load to do.

What Do I Do About Stains?

While the nitty-gritty of stain removal is not within the purview of this post, many stains will come out in the wash if you simply pre-treat them with something like Shout. So when you sort through your clothes, be on the lookout for stains.

If you have white dress shirts or light-colored t-shirts in your dirty laundry, make sure to pretreat your collar and your armpits with stain remover. You don’t want that dreaded ring around your collar or yellow armpit stains. If you do get yellow armpit stains, here’s how to get rid of them.

Washing Your Clothes

What Water Temperature Should I Use?

This can get confusing, but keep it simple: Use warm water for whites; cold water for colors. Now admittedly I used to be a hot water for whites guy, but after researching the heck out of this chapter, I found that most experts agree that with the efficiency of washers and detergents these days, using only warm, or even cold water for all washes is A-okay. You might still want to wash your linens, towels, and gym clothes (regardless of their color) in hot water though, since hot water is best at getting out the grime. But always use cold water for colors, as it fades the color of clothes less than hot water does.

What Cycle Should I Choose?

Your default cycle should be “regular.” It’s the longest cycle and has the fastest and most vigorous wash and spin cycles (spin cycles are when the machine spins out the water from the clothes). It’s good for all fabric types.

Unless you have the same underclothing tastes as J. Edgar Hoover, you won’t use the delicate cycle very often, except for things like sweaters or a nice dress shirt. Remember: read the label.

What about the ever-mysterious permanent press cycle? This cycle is for synthetic fabrics like rayon, polyester, and acetate, as well as natural fabrics that have been treated with a chemical to resist wrinkles (like your “no-iron” dress shirts). The permanent press cycle has a fast wash cycle and a slow spin cycle. The slow spin cycle keeps some of the water in the clothes, which helps prevent wrinkling. The only clothing I can imagine a young man having in his wardrobe that would require permanent press would maybe be a rayon vintage bowling shirt. Other than that, I think you’re safe to use the regular cycle for the vast majority of your washing needs.

What Load Size Should I Choose?

Sometimes you have a crapload of clothes to clean, and other times you may have just a few items. Different amounts of water are required for each situation. The usual load option sizes are small, medium, large, and extra-large.

A typical top-loading machine uses the following scale for judging load size:

Small: clothing fills 1/3 of wash drum before adding water

Medium: clothing fills 1/3 to 1/2 of wash drum before adding water

Large: clothing fills 1/2 to 3/4 of wash drum before adding water

Extra-large: clothing fills wash drum 3/4 to completely full before adding water

What Kind of Detergent Should I Use? Powder, Liquid, High Efficiency (HE)?

Consumerism, for better or for worse, has given us dozens of different kinds of laundry detergents to choose from. So many, in fact, that it can be overwhelming to pick which one to use. While all of them will clean your clothes, each detergent type has pros and cons.

Powder detergents — cheaper per load than liquid detergents and better at getting out stains like dirt and clay than their liquid cousins. Unless specially formulated, powder detergents don’t readily dissolve in cold water like liquid ones.

Liquid detergents — more expensive, but better at getting out organic stains like blood, grass, and pizza sauce. They also dissolve better in cold water.

HE detergents — more expensive than regular detergents because they are specifically designed for High Efficiency washers. They are low-sudsing and quick-dispersing for use in low water volume machines. If you’re living in the dorms or in apartments with shared laundry facilities, you likely won’t have HE washing machines. While you can use HE detergent in regular washing machines, it would be a waste of money to do so.

Detergent companies are now marketing small pods that contain both liquid and powder detergent and dissolve in the wash. While certainly convenient, they’re expensive. For a young man on a budget, this probably isn’t a good option. Go with the powder. The ambitious young man can even try his hand at making his own detergent.

Here’s another money-saving tip about laundry detergent. Experts say you can get away with using anywhere from 1/2 to 1/8 what the manufacturer recommends and still come away with clean clothes. I aim for about half the recommended fill line myself.

In addition to choosing between liquid, powder, and pods, you can select scented or unscented detergents. If you’re prone to allergies, go with the unscented version.

Finally, fill the washing machine with water and add detergent before you add your clothes. While the machine is filling with water, add your detergent. By filling your washing machine with water and detergent before you add your clothes, you ensure that your detergent is evenly distributed throughout the water. Also, pouring detergent right on your clothing can leave spots; this is especially a concern with powder detergents.

Should I Use Bleach?

Bleaching, if done improperly, will ruin your clothing. But in the hands of a knowledgeable person, bleach can remove stains, make whites whiter, and disinfect the nasty bedsheets you’ve been lying in all week with the flu. But if you’re not comfortable with using bleach, you can honestly get away with skipping it. I didn’t use it all that often when I was on my own and my clothes looked fine. Kate’s never used it in her life. But if you decide to use it, here are some guidelines.

There are two types of bleaches: chlorine and non-chlorine. Chlorine bleach is the strongest, but it’s not safe for all fabrics. It’s the bleach that can leave your classic, green polo looking like a groovy tie-dyed shirt if you get some splashed on it.

Non-chlorine bleach, like OxiClean, is safe for colored clothing made with colorfast dyes and fabrics and will make colored clothing look brighter. Non-chlorine bleach, however, isn’t as effective as the chlorine variety at brightening whites.

If you decide to use chlorine bleach on your whites or bed linens, pour the instructed amount in the bleach dispenser in the washing machine before starting the cycle. If your machine doesn’t have a liquid bleach dispenser, mix the bleach with 1 to 1.5 quarts of water and add it after your clothes have been washing for five minutes. Stir it in with a wooden stick or spoon.

Never pour bleach directly on clothing, even whites. I had to learn this from experience. I poured some bleach on a load of white laundry while the machine was still filling with water. After drying, my white clothes had a bunch of brown stains which I later learned were chemical burns from the bleach. Lesson: use bleach with caution.

Washing Tips

Load your clothing a few pieces at a time. With the machine filled with water and your detergent added, you’re now ready to add clothing. Don’t throw giant, wadded up armfuls of laundry into the machine. Add your clothing a few pieces at a time. This will ensure that all parts of the fabric get adequate agitation in the machine.

Don’t cram all your clothing into a single load. In an effort to save time and money, you will be tempted to cram as much of your dirty laundry into a single wash load as possible. Resist that temptation. Your clothes need room in the drum to swish around in order to get clean. If you want clean clothes, don’t overload the washing machine.

Close the lid and set a timer. To get the machine to start washing, simply close the lid. Because it’s easy to forget you have a load of laundry in the wash, set a timer on your phone (even non-smartphones have a timer!) to remind yourself to check the wash when the machine says it should be done. Nobody likes that rank smell that develops from leaving wet clothes in an empty washing machine for too long (although a toss in a hot cycle on the dryer can often zap the smell if that happens to you).

Drying Your Clothes

Not everything goes in the dryer. Remember: read the label. Some garments will say things like, “Lay flat to dry.” In that case, spread it out flat on a towel, smoothing out the wrinkles. If it doesn’t go in the dryer, but doesn’t need to be laid flat, you can drape it over a drying rack or a chair. Even if a garment can technically go in the dryer, if you don’t want it to shrink — perhaps it was just the right size when you bought it or the freshman fifteen is making your jeans feel tight — go ahead and put it on the drying rack instead of the dryer. And of course, if you’re living in a house or apartment that allows line-drying, that’s a great option too: no shrinkage, less wear and tear on your clothes, no energy or money used, and that fresh air smell.

Clean out the lint screen. Before you put your wet clothes in the dryer, check the lint screen. A clean lint screen ensures that damp air leaves the machine and your clothes get dry. You may have to clean out the screen in the middle of a large load filled with items prone to shedding fuzzy stuff, i.e., towels, denim, etc. Oh, and make sure to save that lint! It’s a fantastic fire-starter.

Place clothing in the dryer a few pieces at a time. Clothes tend to get lumped and knotted together in the wash. Throwing your wet clothes into the dryer in a giant ball will result in some clothes getting super dry and others remaining damp. To avoid this, grab a few items at a time from the washing machine, shake ‘em out if they’re tangled up, and then place them in the dryer.

Don’t cram the dryer. Just as you don’t want to cram all your clothes into a single wash cycle, you won’t want to cram all your clothes into a single drying cycle. Clothes need space in the dryer to tumble and get completely dry. You’ll save yourself time and money in the long run by breaking up your drying into smaller loads.

Throw in a fabric softener sheet. To avoid static cling and to give your clothes that soft, comforting feeling, throw in a fabric softener sheet. For smaller loads, you can use just half a sheet. On many newer washing machines, you have the option to put in liquid fabric softener along with the detergent.

Select the correct drying temperature. Rule of thumb when it comes to drying temperatures: the hotter the drying temperature, the greater the likelihood of shrinking. If the care label on your garment says “Tumble Dry,” you can use the “regular” temp setting on your dryer. Regular is the hottest temperature and is suitable for sturdy cottons like towels, t-shirts, underwear, jeans, and sheets.

The “medium” setting is suitable for permanent press clothing — synthetics and fabrics treated with wrinkle-free chemicals.

The “low” setting is for stuff like knits and lingerie. Again, if you’re a man, you’ll likely have very little clothing that requires this setting.

Remove dried clothes immediately. To avoid wrinkles, remove your dry clothes from the dryer and fold and iron them immediately (we’ll be covering these skills later in the book). The longer you let them sit there, the more the wrinkles set.

Laundromat Protocol

Many young men reading this will likely be washing their clothes in public laundromats and dormitory basements. Washing your clothes in shared machines requires pluck, craftiness, and social grace that you don’t need when washing your clothes in the privacy of your home. Below we provide some fast and not-so-hard rules to help you navigate the often strange world of laundromats:

Go on off days and off times. “Saturday or Sunday is probably a good day to wash clothes. I’ve got nothing else going on.” You know what? That’s what everybody else in your dorm/apartment is thinking too. I remember attempting my first wash in the college dorm on a Saturday morning only to find it jam-packed. Tuesdays or Wednesdays are good days to go to the laundromat. If your schedule permits, go in the afternoon. If not, become an early-riser and do your laundry first thing in the morning.

Grab plenty of quarters before leaving. Yes, some laundromats and dormitory facilities use credit card or student ID readers these days, but it’s a good way to put your change to use, and the change machines at laundromats that lack the credit card option are often broken.

Check washers and dryers before putting your clothes in. A leftover blue sock can turn your whitey-tighties into baby blue under-roos. Also, make sure to clean out the lint screen, but use a paper towel. You don’t want to touch the discarded pubes of complete strangers.

Use multiple machines when you can. One of the benefits of going to the laundromat on off days is that you’ll likely have access to multiple machines. So instead of washing and drying one load at a time, you can have multiple loads going at once, thus cutting your laundry time down significantly. Of course, you need to be courteous when using this technique. Don’t be the guy who hogs three machines when there’s a line of other people waiting for an open machine.

Be wary about leaving your laundry unattended. People steal laundry. Take that into consideration before leaving your laundry unattended. I know you’d probably prefer to be other places besides a laundromat, but I’d recommend hanging around until your clothes are finished. Get some work done while you’re waiting or read a book. Make use of that downtime. If you do decide to leave your laundry washing/drying unattended, be sure to set a timer on your phone so you come back right when the cycle is done; don’t make someone else take out your laundry and pile it on a table so they can use the machine.

Don’t forget your manners. Ask people to move their own laundry if you need space on the tables; nobody likes a strange man handling their intimates. On the same note, don’t take up too much space. You don’t need to sprawl all your clean clothes out on the table to fold them.

Day #3: How to Open and Manage a Checking Account

For a young man just beginning to establish his financial life, opening a checking account is a small, but important, step in that process. A checking account is the workhorse of your accounts. It’s for money that you plan on spending or transferring to another account quickly. Because of the ease at which you can deposit and withdraw from a checking account, it will likely be the hub of all your financial activity.

Below we provide important tips and considerations on opening your first checking account. (While you’re at it, open up a savings account for your emergency fund.) For those of you who already have a checking account, we also provide some friendly reminders on managing it wisely.

What to Look for in a Checking Account

Not all checking accounts are created equal. Some banks offer higher-than-average interest rates, while others offer accounts with no interest; some banks charge a monthly fee to keep your money with them, while others offer free checking accounts. Below we highlight a few things to consider when selecting and applying for a checking account:

Look for free checking accounts, but understand that a free checking account isn’t really “free.” A free checking account is an account that doesn’t charge you a monthly service fee to keep your money in that account. Many banks used to offer free checking accounts without any strings attached, but those days are largely over. Now, most banks won’t charge you a monthly fee so long as you meet certain conditions. Usually the conditions are that you make a certain amount of direct deposits and debit card transactions each month, or you maintain a certain minimum balance.

If you fail to meet those requirements, the monthly service fee is around $5 at most banks.

Look for accounts with no minimum balance requirement. When you’re young and just starting out in life, your cash flow is likely minuscule. When I was in college, it was common for my checking account to dip below $100 despite my best efforts at budgeting. If you have a bank account that requires a minimum balance and you dip below that number, you’re going to be slapped with a penalty. Many free checking accounts have no minimum balance requirement (but require you to make direct deposits or debit card transactions to keep the account free), so select one of those.

Avoid checking accounts that offer higher-than-average interest rates. They look enticing, but they usually require a minimum balance of a few thousand dollars.

Look for accounts with online access. You want to keep on top of how much money is coming in and going out of your checking account. It used to be you had to religiously keep track of every single one of your transactions in a check register if you wanted to know how much you had in your account. Today most banks offer free online services that let you check your account online. Get one that does. Also check if your bank allows you to hook up your accounts with services like Mint, YouNeedaBudget, or Quicken. Keeping track of your checkbook on your computer is much easier than using the old pocket register.

Ask how check “holds” are handled. Let’s say you get a big fat $2,000 from Grandpa to help pay for school. You deposit it in your account. You’re ready to drop a $2,000 money bomb at the bursar’s office the next day, right? Nope.

Banks usually place “holds” on checks from other banks, especially out-of-state banks, for a few days to ensure the check or electronic deposit will be honored by the issuing bank. During this hold period, you won’t have access to the money you deposited. For checks from local sources, the hold period is usually two days; for out-of-state check sources, the hold period can be up to five days.

It’s good to know your bank’s policy so you don’t spend money that you don’t have access to yet.

Get an account with a check/debit card. Most banks offer customers a debit card when they open up an account. Debit cards offer the convenience of credit cards, without the crippling high interest rates. Whenever you swipe a check card, your checking account is deducted.

What’s the Difference Between Choosing Credit or Debit on Check Card Readers?

Whenever you swipe your check card at a store, you’ll often be asked to select “credit or debit.” While both options will result in money being deducted from your checking account, they each process the transaction differently.

If you select “credit” and your check card happens to be a Visa checking card, your transaction is verified with your signature (sometimes), and will be processed through Visa’s networks. The benefit to you for using your debit card as credit is that you get to take advantage of Visa’s added security options to prevent against fraudulent transactions. You can also earn reward points with certain cards. Store owners have to pay Visa a pretty hefty service fee (usually 2% of the transaction) every time you choose credit, which is why you may have recently noticed the check card readers at your favorite store bring up debit as the default option, forcing you to press the cancel button, and select credit instead.

If you select “debit,” you’ll need to enter your four-digit PIN. After you enter it, your transaction will be processed through an electronic funds transfer, and funds are taken from your account instantly. You don’t get the same protections on your purchase as you do when you select credit, and debit transactions aren’t eligible for reward programs. You can, however, ask for cash back when you make a purchase using debit. That means if your purchase was $5, you can have the store debit your card for $25, and the store will give you $20 straight from the till. That comes in handy when you need cash, but don’t want to pay an ATM fee. Be aware that store owners, especially mom and pop places, prefer debit transactions because of the reduced service cost.

Look for a bank with plenty of ATMs in the area and ask about ATM fees. You’ll have those days when you need quick access to cash. That’s where ATMs will come in handy. But the convenience of ATMs comes at a price. While most banks offer machines that don’t charge withdrawal fees for their own customers, banks will charge you a fee for using a competitor’s ATM. When you add that fee, to the fee or surcharge the competitor’s bank charges you to use their ATM, you’re looking at paying about $5 just to get your cash.

Should I Go With an Online-Only Bank?

In the past few years, the number of online-only banks has increased dramatically. Because they have less overhead than brick and mortar banks, online banks are able to provide higher interest rates and charge fewer fees. A few years ago, online banks like ING Direct (now CapitalOne 360) and Ally had crazy monthly interest rates between 2%-4%, but they’ve since gone down to about 0.8%-1%. Not fantastic, but still better than most traditional banks.