ISBN: 9781483508771

Chapter 1: The Twilight Zone

When you come into the world, who knows what you're coming into? Who decides your path? Who decides your fate? Who, most importantly, writes the end of the story? You know the saying 'it's not where you begin, but it's where you end up.' Everyone has a story as my father used to say, "there's a lot of tales in the naked city."

If you look around, you observe that it sometimes seems like the next guy owns it all. They have the world on a string and they're sitting on a rainbow.

Growing up so safe, I was protected, sheltered, and shielded from harm, danger, and, the most important thing, pain. I don't think until I was twenty years old, as a matter of fact, I know the exact date that everything seemed to change for me. It was April 18th, 2007.

Some older people would remember a program on television called "The Twilight Zone." This is a program that is currently on television in re-runs.

As my story unfolds, you'll see a person such as myself on the eighteenth of April, 2007 enter a twilight zone like no one I've ever heard of, read about or saw firsthand enter. In fact, a series of twilight zones of the highest and the scariest magnitude. No boy, man, or person should have to experience the things I did at age twenty.

Sometimes the only comfort in life you could have is to compare yourself with someone or something that's worse off than you or the situation you are in. As I get deeper into my story I'll show you a method I used to survive every day. It's called the pros and cons list. Then it didn't quite work out with the pro and con heading. I realized that there were no pros so I labeled it the unfair and what's worst list.

"The Twilight Zone" is a dark place filled with terror. So scary when night comes you seem to be filled with such panic. I remember when the panic hit me, it would stay with me so long I would freeze and be in a paralyzed state until morning arrived.

Morning for an instant gave me a moment of peace until in the pit of my stomach I knew it was just the beginning of ten hours of the worst nightmare leading up to another dark and scary night. The places I was imprisoned in were filled with danger all around me. The people around me were in most cases scary and dangerous as the environment itself.

At the time all of this was taking place and I was in this nightmare, it was hard to think back on all I left behind. It seemed like I wasn't even the same person I was before. I felt like my life was ruined and that I'd never get it back. Worst of all, fearful I'd never to be a free person, let alone live the beautiful life that I lived before.

In each facility that I was trapped in, you'll see that there was always evil lurking. Sometimes in the form of events that were happening around me or in the form of a real live vile person. To someone as sheltered as I, to this day I wonder how I survived all that I went through.

In my story I will introduce you to a composition I was asked to write by one of my attorneys that was involved in my story. This composition is called "Benjamin Buttons." You will see by my composition just how simple it started out when I crossed over to "The Twilight Zone." You will also see just how complicated "The System” became and how dangerous "The System" can become to you.

Not only does "The System" rule you and ultimately decide your fate, it destroys a little of you every day. The twists and turns, the ups and downs are many. To my parents and myself, sometimes what I was going through was gut wrenching, oppressive, and downright disturbing.

The only way to describe "The Twilight Zone" to people of the present generation, for instance my age at twenty-four is to give a few examples of a glimpse of how you cross over like I did.

Example one; imagine waking up in the morning everyday experiencing a beautiful lifestyle that you strived for, for years and finally got. Like the doctor who obviously went through years of schooling. Grooming himself not only to make money and live a better life, but to help other people. The passion and desire he felt all of his life for the medical field, his sole purpose always being that of which he lived for. Suddenly coming to an end.

As we speak, this example is before the court at this time. A well respected, very knowledgeable physician is facing prison time, felony charges, and in short, the end of his career as a doctor.

A physician in his fifties, through circumstances which drove him straight into "The Twilight Zone". This, in the long run, leads him straight to “The System”.

The only way to describe the combination of the "The Twilight Zone", and "The System", is to relate it to the date of today, which is October 29th, 2011. This meaning it's almost Halloween, two days and counting. Halloween, just like the movie, is a dark, foggy, musty, atmosphere, filled with cobwebs. In real life, these fake cobwebs on peoples' lawns, decorating houses are usually made of cotton, or heavy nylon material. This heavy nylon material is what "The System" is made of. It is strong enough to ensnarl a body and arms like a straight jacket. Hands and body tied in knots, let alone your heart and mind involved. The heart and mind tell you you're in real trouble. This trouble, when it involves "The System", seems scary and never-ending. The scariest part of it is that your fate is in everyone else's hands but your own.

The experts, the lawyers that are for you and against you, ultimately the judge, and if there's a jury, there's more than twelve more lives involved in yours. There are so many fractions that come into play in any kind of case in "The System". You would be surprised how little if any you can do to help the outcome of what ultimately happens to you.

This is why I say "Who decides your path? Who decides your fate? Who, most importantly, writes the end of the story? You know the saying 'it's not where you begin, but it's where you end up.' “And only "The System" has the answers, and your fate lying in the balance.

As I began to tell you of this physician, by all accounts very successful, of how he enters "The Twilight Zone", ultimately, "The System".

This man, I'll call Doctor Brown to protect his identity, went to a social function at his country club. Celebrating as people do was allowed allegedly to have more alcohol than he was supposed to consume. Ultimately resulting in a lawsuit against the country club as well.

Dr. Brown, after allegedly consuming this liquor, called it a night, and of course, being alone without a designated driver, climbed into the car, and as he did so many nights before, on social evenings, attempted to drive home. It was dark, fall, being this happened not too long ago, misty outside, he found trouble waiting for him to happen. As he drove along in the evening, with all of these conditions against him, the biggest condition was just out there waiting to take over his life. A young girl, approximately eighteen in the darkness was on a skateboard weaving in and out of cars parked along the street. In defense of the physician that allegedly struck this girl, it was pretty impossible to see her. Of course, allegedly, the alcohol ultimately would play a role in the story.

Allegedly he hit the young woman and did not remain at the scene according to the police reports. As the story unfolded, he allegedly went home, put the car in the garage, and as the police searched for the driver, he remained quiet. This story was carried throughout the media. Still, the physician kept quiet, and attempted to repair the damage to his car at a local garage. Obviously, before bringing the car in, allegedly, he washed the blood and any evidence from the vehicle. The circumstances and some facts on the news seemed to alert the garage of this vehicle. Taking a chance, the garage owner reported this certain alleged vehicle to the police. Ultimately, the story unfolds, and the physician enters his first steps into "The Twilight Zone", heading towards "The System".

This story shows a pattern at which someone including myself enters "The Twilight Zone"; into the darkness, with hope, the only hope, that "The System" will be fair. The main hope is that "The System" will not only be fair, but it will also give you another chance at getting your life back.

At this moment, the physician is in the process of realizing that life can become so unfair. In an instant, your whole life changes and all you can think about is how can I turn back time. No one can turn back time, so now all that is left in a person's future such as the physician is what you can muster up inside to hold on through "The Twilight Zone", and "The System".

One More example of how someone entered "The Twilight Zone", I will relate the following. In Hibernia Bank in San Francisco, suddenly four white women and a black man walked in and held up the bank of over ten thousand dollars, wounding two bystanders and fled in a car.

Police reviewing the bank videotape were in for a surprise. In the tape they viewed was a nineteen year woman that was missing for over two months. It was Patricia Campbell Hearst. Not only was she acting excited, she was brandishing a carbine and acting like part of the gang. To this day the Hearst story is still under debate.

Patty is the granddaughter of the legendary newspaper publisher, William Rudolph Hearst. Two black men and one white woman had kidnapped her at gunpoint from her Berkley apartment on February 4th, 1974 and taken her captive. The bank robbers identified themselves as members of the Symbionese Army (SLA). The event was the political kidnapping of an heiress from a prominent family. The event was all over the media.

Despite national unrest among college students then, this young woman had never been a political activist or taken up violent causes. What was the association?

The leader Donald De Freeze called himself Field Marshall Cinque Mtume. Like Charles Manson only five years before he wanted to start a revolution of the underprivileged, and he intended to do that by declaring war on those with status and money. From his followers he commanded total obedience and worship. Patty claimed that she was kept blindfolded for two months in a closet.

De Freeze used her visibility as a social figure to gain sympathy for his cause. De Freeze turned Patty into an angry revolutionary. De Freeze used psychological techniques. Patty was isolated. She was physically and sexually abused by members of the gang. She was told that she might die, and was fed lies.

By early April she had a new identity. She became part of the gang.

The gang tried to get Patty's famous father to distribute millions of dollars worth of food to the poor.

This plan badly backfired. Groups like the Black Muslims exploited the opportunity to fill their own coffers, and others grabbed the free food to sell at exorbitant prices.

The SLA wanted propaganda published, a demand which Hearst, Patty's father complied with. The SLA also wanted more food distributed to the poor

Finally Patty's rich father laid down the law, and a condition; Patty's safe return. All negotiations stopped.

Weeks passed with no more demands from the SLA but no Patty either. Tapes came forth that Patty had joined the SLA and was carrying a rifle and was now named Tania.

Photos surfaced and it was viewed as her being a willing part of the group. She looked to be participating willingly. When the attorney general viewed the video footage, he formed the opinion that Patty was a part of the gang doing these bank robberies, and hurting these people. The attorney general got a warrant for her arrest as a material witness. Her continued involvement with the gang soon changed her status in the eyes of the law to something more serious.

Patty Hearst ultimately found herself on the dark side; crossed over, whether it was or wasn't of her own volition to get caught up in this mess. Her volition or not she definitely crossed over to "The Twilight Zone", and into "The System".

In every walk of life, whether you're rich or poor, white or black, no matter where you're from, there's people in all generations that have gone through many many hardships. Everyone knows someone that has gone through "The Twilight Zone". Their story may not involve “The System", but no matter how far their story took them, the only answer that I know that can bring you through life a better person is to have faith. Faith in your family, friends, God, and ultimately yourself as well.

Chapter 2: 2000 Pictures And Counting

How can you make time stand still? Wouldn't it be a dream, the greatest invention in the world if you could suspend time? Just think of the greatest times you ever had in your life. What a feat it would be if you could find a way to live them over and over. Just think what it would be like to stop the worst of times and replace them with the best of times.

It seems with all of the technology they have to date, picture phones and smart phones, computers, I-Pods, I-Pads, Kindles, and, of course, cable television, satellite, bringing the whole world into your living room, there should be a way to suspend time.

It would be too simple; life itself, if you could suddenly turn off all things going wrong with your life and replace them with your happiest moments. Since it can't be done, all that you have to rely on of your happiest moments are pictures and photographs.

Of course pictures and photographs can't physically make you re-live the best of times, but they can bring back memories and emotions of joy and pleasure that brought you and others you love so much satisfaction.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, well in my case, my parents took over two thousand pictures of me by the time I was the age of ten. So, if you multiply one picture valued at one thousand words, I guess that you would say that my life would be worth millions.

There's so many things that you can pick up out of a photograph. You can tell how a person looks, how old they are, in a lot of cases how affluent they are. Of course you can tell the common factors like race and gender.

Having been born with two parents that had been married a total of five times between the two of them, never having any children, you can imagine the happiness and joy on the news that they were about to have their own child.

That news was overwhelming to a couple at their age, my father being sixty-three, and my mother being forty. They had just built a new house, and what could be more perfect? A child to go along with it. Life was good, and about ready to get better for my parents and ultimately, for me, upon my birth. It's the American dream, what every person strives for. A beautiful home and a family to make it all worth it.

So, in essence, you're starting to get the picture. It turned out to be what it was; a picture perfect life for all of us for a very long time.

My father had retired form Nabisco after forty-three years of service; the company bought out his job, and gave him a good package for retirement. My mother didn't have to work at the bank anymore because in her first marriage they owned a Laundromat and apartment buildings, plus her job at the bank, so after twelve years of marriage with her first husband she got a settlement. Therefore she didn't have to work either. What a perfect opportunity to make up all of the time that they had lost not having a child. Now, they could spend all of their days and their nights raising their child that they were about to have. My parents considered themselves very lucky to be able to be home with their child around the clock.

Days were filled with two doting parents attending to my every need. Of course, there were swings, slides, turtle-sandboxes, a big pool, and every kind of toy imaginable. In these two thousand pictures or more, at Christmas, it was hard to find me because I was surrounded by so many gifts.

Of course, my mother still had her mother alive at forty. It was even great because I had a great-grandmother too. My great-grandmother lived to be a hundred and three. On the other hand, my father had very little family left, because as I said, he was sixty-three when I was born. He had one very overbearing sister who later on in my life plays a big role in my life, and unfortunately, not necessarily in a good way it turns out. As a matter of fact, I know now that her presence, her advice, or I should say incorrect advice misled me into a terrible place. It ultimately almost turned into my demise.

My mother and father brought a camera everywhere. At that time in my life there was a Kodak commercial called "these are the days of my life." It was a famous song and it accompanied these beautiful Kodak commercials advertising the Kodak camera. At that time Kodak was the way to go.

These more than two thousand photos I have are as perfect as the Kodak commercials. Christmas, as I said, I was the face surrounded by so very many toys. Halloween, my costumes were impeccable. For instance, one year I was a doctor. I had professional scrubs and all of the paraphernalia that a doctor would accompany a doctor, right down to the ID tag around my neck. Superman was identical to the original costume; my parents would take pains in making everything perfect for me. It wasn't just on holidays, it was day-in and day-out, year-in and year-out, being lucky to get all of the things I wanted or needed. I remember almost every day after dinner while my mother cleaned the kitchen my father and I would get in the car and go buy the latest movie on video, so we could watch it that evening. I was so lucky that I didn't have to rent a movie; I could own my own and watch it whenever I wanted. So, life was good, and that's the way we rolled on, as I said for a very long time.

Thinking back now, I really had a lot to be thankful for growing up. Some children and a lot of adults don't get to live in a brand new house that they had built. However, by the time I was fifteen, my parents built four brand new homes. We had brand new cars every year; never having to worry about repairs, flat tires, or in essence always not driving in a safe car.

What more can a human being want or need? Of course I think everyone would love to be famous, travel all over the world, have their own airplane, and belong to the Jet-set, but as I said, a lot of people would love to have had what I had. A small town as we live in, we were considered doing very well.

We weren't jet-setters but we travelled quite a bit. We loved Florida and of course Disney World, MGM, Universal, and of course, Sea World. We travelled there a lot. One of my favorite destinations for both my parents and me was Las Vegas.

Las Vegas about nine years ago became very kid-friendly. Right now, it remains the same; kid-friendly. I found it to be so fascinating. Loving to eat the elaborate buffets which were sensational. Each casino seemed to have the most sensational food, even foods that aren't on restaurant menus such as duck.

My parents being older were not at all interested in the gambling. They taught me that it would be foolish to gamble and lose all of your money so you could never travel again. They made it a point of instilling in me how to save so you can have nice houses, cars and vacations.

One of the most exciting things about Vegas for me was the entertainment factor. For instance, EFX with first David Cassidy, then with Tommy Tunes. So many shows, so many artists and entertainers, so much great entertainment. My world wasn't bad at all, as a matter of fact as I look back how I went from all of this to the Twilight Zone astounds me to this day.

My surroundings, people in my life, were typical, conventional, and natural, there was nothing in my life growing up that was alarming and astounding. How would I ever know that I would be one of the very unlucky people in the world that would end up crossing into "The Twilight Zone," and ultimately into "The System."

In both places "The Twilight Zone" and "The System", people are known to not always survive. Some make it through but I know that even if they do, they'll carry scars forever. The scars come in the form of fear, flashbacks, and nightmares. However, the worst scenario is the people that don't make it through at all. Either through their own hand or at the hands of the people that are in "The Twilight Zone."

Through the many layers of "The System" you will see all of the different changes that take place. Going from one facility to another, each time thinking that it'll be over only to find out it's just another hurdle. With each facility there arise new problems, new worries and most of all new dangers.

Chapter 3: The Beginning Of The End

It was April 18, 2007. What a beautiful spring day it was! Love was in the air. There's always something about spring anyways. Like a renewal of life, a new beginning after a long, dreary, dark winter.

Life was a little mundane, with me some days feeling so listless. What threw me into this frame of mind was the ending of what I would describe as a special relationship.

Looking back on it I realized the deterrent of that last relationship was distance between the girl and I. I'm in New York State and her being located in New Hampshire, right outside of Boston.

Jennifer and I had a lot in common right from the start. It was just fate that we met. I had a friend from high school who was going to the University Of Boston. He was a good friend and I went out to see the school he was attending, thinking of going back to college myself.

It was funny how we met. My friend Sam was backing out of a parking space in the college parking lot. There were two girls in the car next to us, which we didn't notice because Sam and I were too busy talking. See I had just arrived by cab to the school and had been waiting in the parking lot for Sam. We were excited when we were communicating by our cell phones. The minute we got together we seemed to forget what was happening around us. To make a long story short we didn't notice Jennifer and her friend were backing out of the next parking spot at the same instant. Both cars were at an odd angle. Talking away I was facing the next car and I saw what was about to happen. Just at the right moment I yelled "Sam stop, you're going to hit the car next to you!" Sam stopped and the driver next to us got out and looked very angry, ready to fight. However Sam stopped her dead! Apologizing all over the place. He explained that I had just arrived from New York State and Sam got lost in our conversation. Jennifer introduced Sam and me to herself and her girlfriend.

It was like a story book beginning, all so perfect. Jen and I hit it off right from the beginning.

Having met lots of girls, as all guys do, through grade school and high school, I had never really met a girl with views that I possessed. The music for instance that I liked was the same. Most always, if not always, all the girls I met were focused on having children someday. I never met anyone who said they didn't want children. At this time in my life that's how I was feeling. I didn't think I wanted to have children and she had the very same feelings.

Our views on life were different than other people also. We believed that death and religion were very complicated matters. Take for instance the topic of homosexuality. It's a controversial topic, with there always being room for debate. However our views were on the same page. We believed that your genetics are already established in the womb. We believed that what you end up doing in life you were born to do anyway.

In other words, as you read my plight, later on you'll decide if what I went through results in what I'm doing today, which is writing a book for the whole world to witness. Hopefully taking life's lessons from what I went through.

So in short on this beautiful April, spring day I was reflecting on Jennifer and looking back on this last relationship.

Yes Jennifer and I got together even though the distance was a factor.

In the long run the distance became impossible to overcome. Jen was focused on me moving to Boston and me attending her college. When I couldn't make that decision at that time, she ended the relationship. The entire relationship lasted a year and a half, with me doing all of the traveling back and forth, to maintain a relationship I really valued.

So on this beautiful, spring, April 18th day, 2007, It's been about six months since I've had any contact with Jen. It's been a struggle. You can almost say it’s been like a great big blur. One day leading into the next. Almost like a song Tony Bennett sings on his CD's called "Yesterday I Heard The Rain." It's about someone whose relationship breaks up. The words were how I felt, at this time, about Jen.

I felt like the song "People with black umbrellas were pursuing me, and everyone was looking through me, and as I heard the rain it was whispering her name." It was bad, worse than Tony Bennett was describing.

However getting back again to that April day I keep mentioning, April 18th 2007. Can't forget this day!

I was driving along and for the first time in six months I wasn't as unhappy. For you see, two weeks earlier I had entered a music shop on a Saturday afternoon. It was just like any other Saturday. I was flipping through CD's in different areas of the store, a music shop called F.Y.E.

Not aware of anyone watching me, really just engrossed in finding some really nice music. When suddenly I was approached, out of nowhere it seemed. A pair of eyes was staring right into mine. At first it didn't register until her lips started to move. Before I could appreciate her eyes, I focused on her voice and her mannerisms. I liked both. She was only asking if she could help me with anything. She apparently was a sales girl working for F.Y.E.

I connected right away with her. Suddenly it all came together in my mind. The eyes, the voice, even the smile. For the first time in six months, my thoughts were of a different nature. A current seemed to go through my mind. Wow, it was a feeling of hope, first time in a long time.

She started a conversation about music which opened up other avenues. She introduced herself. Her name was Katie. She also revealed that she had also noticed me weeks and weeks ago. She even told me something surprising; we had two other conversations in weeks previously. Had I been so closed minded, so in love with Jen that I didn't even realize that there were other girls in the world. Others in a room or anywhere I went. Katie opened my eyes to life again. Possibilities to a new beginning; to a new future.

Shocked and dismayed at all of the feelings that was filling my head. At least I had feelings that I hadn't had in six months. Recently, all the feelings that I had had were so negative. How great getting back to being myself. Unfortunately the music shop was getting crowded on a Saturday afternoon. She looked around and said "I'd better wait on some other customers"; I saw in her eyes a feeling like she didn't want to end the conversation.

I decided to leave so that I could clear my head. I walked over to her as she was waiting on someone else and told her I'd think about some of the music I saw and come back again soon.

I got into my car and decided that I'd grab something to eat. Strangely enough for the first time in six months I felt hungry. I mean really hungry. Well, I'm not a genius but I know that being hungry is a step to healing.

Being by myself, I thought 'well it's got to be a mall food court or a Tim Horton's.' Most people alone do not want to walk in a nice restaurant by themselves. Now I'm realizing how lost you can feel after a relationship breaks up. Things and places you always managed to go to by yourself before a relationship, and then suddenly you can't do it anymore; it just gets too lonely. Life is hard, and it seems that the older you get, the harder it gets.

I decided on the food court. It's a big mall down the street from F.Y.E. called Northern Hills Mall. The mall is kind of an up-scale mall; therefore the mall has an array of restaurants to choose from. Deciding on Bill Grey's, I ordered a hamburger, fries, and a drink, and couldn't believe that that would be enough; boy, my appetite really came back.

As I sat there and watched at least fifty couples in groups going about their business in the food court, I realized that I couldn't have done that before today. Just watching a couple walking hand-in-hand for the last six months, since Jen and I broke up, I would have really felt bad seeing it. Now, I could actually see myself going on and maybe someday soon; not today but soon, I could be walking hand in hand with someone like Katie.

Lunch seemed to taste great. It must be my changed attitude. My cell phone goes off; it was Jim, who was a friend of mine. As we talked, he noticed the difference in my voice and in my attitude right away. He said "Man, what's up?!" Jim said "I can't believe that you're the same person that I talked to yesterday." Right away, I couldn't contain it, could not hold back what had just happened.

I said "Jim, you won't believe it. I just met the nicest girl that I've talked to in a long time. Not just nice, but she was really cute too. Man, where have I been for the last six months, where's my head been? This girl, Katie, that works at F.Y.E. said that she noticed me weeks ago, and that we'd had two other conversations besides today. Jim, what should I do?"

"Jim, I was thinking that maybe I should go back when her dinner is, or telling her maybe I will buy the CD's that I was looking at earlier. Or, I can just go in next Saturday and not appear to be too anxious", I said. Before I could get all of this out, Jim responded "Get in your car, man, and go back to that music shop. This is the best, and I mean the best you've sounded in months." Jim's enthusiasm got me all psyched up. He's right; I'm young and everyone needs somebody to help them through the bad times. "I'm on my way," I told Jim, and he said "Good luck, and call me later with some good news."

Chapter 4: Totaled

Walking back to the car, I notice the change in my step. I haven't walked with a brisk pace and a confident stride; I'm my old self again or at least headed in that direction again.

I looked at my little, white, 1997 Mitsubishi Sport with a spoiler on the back of the automobile. My parents had two other brand new cars, but the Mitsubishi Sport was my favorite, and I always took that car. My dad and I had a plan for that car right from the beginning. We were going to make it my very own antique car someday. We are in the year 2007, and for the last ten years, we have groomed the engine and the whole car to be, as I said, an antique car in my life time. This car is my pride and joy.

However, as I walked towards it, I was thinking that I'm six foot two and weigh one hundred and ninety pounds. Suddenly I could see a date with Katie may be in my future now, and the car looks awful small to me. All of these thoughts were flooding my head, but they were good thoughts. I might have been crushed before, but I was hopeful now. The size of the car is a small problem; I could always borrow one of my parents' cars for the date.

Headed towards the music shop F.Y.E., remembering how interested she was to keep my courage up, I decided that it was a go. After pulling onto Whirlpool Drive, coming off of Tangent Road, only less than a block away from the music store, I stopped behind a car which was turning left into a car dealership, but had to wait to turn due to on-coming traffic. Coming to a dead stop, there was a moment of silence until suddenly as if the whole sky lit up; there were the sounds of noises going in and out of my head. I felt a stabbing in my back, which later turned out to be the spoiler of the back of the Mitsubishi in my back. Being so big, trapped in this car, my head snapped forward with just as much thrust as when it snapped back into the headrest. I felt like someone was tearing my whole head off, and I remember thinking 'boy that hurt.' I felt that someone had just taken and beaten me to a pulp. Everything in my body ached, my head hurt, and I felt limp, powerless to even move from the car.

Trapped in this car, unable to move, I look to my left, and there's a face peering in my window. It was a girl my own age, twenty years old, driving a big Chevy Trailblazer behind me. She had smashed, rammed, right into me, causing the spoiler to lodge into my back.

With no remorse, and no intentions of helping me or staying around to see what was going to happen, she screamed "I have no ID, I'm leaving to go get it," and took right off in the SUV. Luckily, behind this girl was the manager of F.Y.E., coming back to the music shop from his lunch; he on a cell phone, called the Police on his cell phone and thereby documented her license plate. (See Chapter Benjamin Button for details of the accident)

Lying there, half in the car and half out, I knew that I was in trouble. In my life time of twenty years, this was the worst disaster I had come across. Little did I know that day, April 18th, 2007, was the day I entered The Twilight Zone.

As the paramedics came, the Police arrived on the scene; the witness for me was so cooperative. Thank God for him. The girl was ultimately found and in the long run, had to answer for what she did. My dreams, as it states in Chapter Benjamin Buttons, were trashed, my life flashed before me upon the impact of the crash. As they pulled me from the car, they asked me if I could stand. Out of sheer shock and dismay, I stood barely as I waited for my father and a tow-truck. The car was so demolished that the tow-truck could not tow it away due to the fact that the rear fenders were smashed into the rear tires and they were also crushed. So, after waiting for a tow-truck for an hour in my condition, I had to wait an additional hour for the flat-bed to come and carry the car away.

In retrospect, I realized that day that I should have gone to the hospital that instant. But as people say that have been in accidents, it all doesn't hit you until the next day. My father remembers how bad I was when he got there, and to this day, he wonders how I made it home without emergency medical care. The day after the accident, I went to the hospital, and I remember feeling altogether different than how I felt all of my life before the accident.

The sum of that whole day, April 18th, 2007, can be described in one word; "Totaled." Not only was the car completely totaled, my dream of grooming my own antique car from the beginning totaled, but also as you'll see for the next three years you might as well say, my life was not only totaled, it was totally devastating and unbearable.

Chapter 5: Fasten Your Seatbelts

Some things you get over right away. A disagreement, a difference of opinion or a view between family and friends can be dismissed very easily in most cases. It's just what it is; a matter of opinion. However, that horrible experience with my car being totaled and me being in it at the time was a whole other story.

The next day I remembered, while waiting for the tow-truck in the music shop F.Y.E., the words of the manager that helped me catch the girl that hit me came flooding back. He said, "You should have gone to the hospital," but, like an accident he was in, it didn't hit him until the next day.

Yes, he was right, he was a lot older than me, and his words were right on target. The next day I was more than sore, I ached all over, and my head was cloudy to say the least. Only twenty years old and I felt like a person might feel in their sixties. Everything ached from top to bottom. Finally, my father, looking at me sitting there on the sofa asked what was wrong. My head was the main concern; it was hard to think clearly; as I said, a good way to describe it, my head felt like it was in the clouds. We decided that my father would drive me to St. Mary's Hospital. We, of course was lent, by the insurance company, a rent-a-car.

At St. Mary's, they determined, after several tests, that I had three posterior disc bulges. My neck at the time was so bad off; they put a neck brace on me. However, my head was a different story. That turns out to take a year and a half to actually diagnosis.

My parents, as I said, at sixty four and forty having me late in life, protecting me always, for the first time someone else comes along and breaks that barrier of a perfect kid in perfect health. My first of many times I question and ask "why me?” It turns out that the next two years or better that question resonates in my mind over and over, "why me?"

Since that unfortunate day, April 18th 2007, I remember trying so hard to recover and put that day past me.

However, I never felt quite right. Fortunately, my family was supportive, and my attitude in those years was very good. I'm not going to let an accident stop me from planning my future, living my life, and trying to do everything I can to make things better for me.

The only way to describe what happens next is to say "fasten your seatbelts,” for the road I'm on gets bumpier, and my life starts to take so many twists and turns.

Putting the accident behind me, after three weeks of convalescing, I still didn't feel like myself, like I did before the accident happened, but I felt a little bit better. I had been seeing doctors such as a chiropractor; it helped a little.

So approximately six weeks or so after the accident I decided to get back into life. My father convinced me to go up to the music shop F.Y.E. He said "before the accident you were getting back into life after Jen." He also said "I think that it would be good for you to go talk to that girl you met; Katie."

Maybe he was right; I was acting a little lethargic. Listless, with my head still being cloudy. I myself thought that Katie seemed very interested; perhaps this would be good for me. The days previous were all spent thinking about my dreams of my antique car gone and how I was going to get back to being myself. I just didn't feel right.

So, on another beautiful Spring day, May 30th, 2007, my dad and I got into a new car; a 2007 Honda Civic. My mom purchased us a new car just for my dad and me. There we go, brand new car, brand new day, beautiful day as I said, and we're headed up in the same direction that the accident happened.

Driving along, feeling the best I felt in six weeks considering. When travelling in the right hand lane, closest to the side-walk, we were passing a major shopping store called Rex. Next to us as we were moving along, in the left lane, was another line of traffic going in the same direction as we were. In the median, there was a van stopped, waiting to turn into another shopping center on the other side of the road. Suddenly, coming from the opposite direction, came a lady and a twelve-year-old girl who was her daughter in a big van. From the opposite direction as I said, she veered around the van that was stopped in their median, and smashed into my father from the side as she attempted to turn into the Rex Supermarket parking lot as we were passing by the entranceway.

Upon impact, my head snapped to the left, and then, as we came to a stop, my head swung to the right and hit partly into the pillar in between the front and rear seats and the front window at an angle. It turns out that she hit us in the driver's side. She admits to wrong-doing and the police take an accident report and follow procedure; charging her with the accident. My mother's brand new car is smashed now. Needless to say, I'm re-injured, and now my father is hurt too. The Civic was drivable this time, and my father was so upset about me getting hurt again. He told the Police, "I just want to get him home and see how bad he is. We were twenty-two miles away from home, and my father said "If we're feeling no better when we get home, we'll go to the hospital that we always go to near our house.

Needless to say, the way we felt was beyond words. How could this happen, almost in the same area, again. Katie was the last thing on my mind now, and what worried my father was what was my mother going to say about another car accident? After all, all that they gave me for the Mitsubishi that was hit April 18th was very little because it was a 1997, and this was 2007; the car was ten years old. However the insurance company on the Mitsubishi did give us twelve hundred dollars over the book value because the engine was so clean and well kept. Remember, my dad and I was grooming that Mitsubishi for an antique car in my lifetime. Twelve hundred dollars extra wasn't much for a dream; how can you replace a dream?

Needless to say, I got a really bad feeling; I was worried about my eighty-three year-old dad, and what the accident might have done to him. We were both worried about what my mother was going to say because she just replaced the Mitsubishi with the new Honda Civic and now it's smashed.

What's happening to me? I have never felt bad feelings before these two accidents. Now I know what a lot of the kids in school were trying to tell me all through the years. From time to time I would witness different friends in real peril. I've heard of students in high school getting killed in accidents and many unfortunate tragedies and situations in the four years of high school. They didn't register or really touch my life so really I didn't understand or feel their pain. Suddenly, I realized life isn't always a bowl of cherries. I also realized what that phrase meant; life is a bumpy road.

My head hurt so much in the last six weeks before this second accident on May 30th. All I could think of was all the unfortunate things friends had told me all along the way. I'm beginning to realize life is tough, and I'd better "fasten my seatbelts."

Chapter 6: Average American Kid

I'm what you call an average American kid; I always felt a little more blessed because it seems when I was born, I was able to have nearly everything I wanted. However, like the saying goes, you can never have it all. However looking back throughout my childhood, I seemed to have it all.

The one drawback that I always said bothered me was the fact that I was born to parents that were at the age of forty-one and sixty-four. Not having any siblings, the idea of my parents dying, leaving me alone, always seemed to bother me. Naturally, if my parents are already at those ages when I was born, almost all of their relatives are already gone, leaving me without many relatives.

However life always was good. We travelled where we wanted to go, we built five homes, had swings, slides, sandboxes, pools, electric cars; any kind of toy imaginable. To make it even better, my parents were fortunate enough to be able to be home with me twenty-four seven. My father was retired from a management position in an upscale plant with forty-three years of service. My mom, because of businesses she had in her first marriage, was able to stay at home because she got a good settlement from the first marriage.

So with two doting parents, and an upper middle-class standard, I went to private Catholic schools. My days consisted of mom bringing in cupcakes, brand new cars to drive in, and nice vacations, plenty of designer clothes when not wearing my Catholic uniform. I remember, except for my parents’ age, having it all.

I think back how everything seemed so normal. It was like watching a fairy tale. Imagine waking up every day to a beautiful home, parents there to support you, for years nothing going wrong. Now, however, I'm finding after some thought, the pivotal point where everything started going in the opposite direction. As I mentioned before, there was an age difference of twenty-three years between my mother and father; that's 2.3 decades. When coming to raise a child together, nine times out of ten the closer parents are in age, chances are you were raised in the same era. People close in age have lived through the same economy, the same wars, and the same political influences; however, we're talking about twenty-three year’s difference as I said before.

Little things between my mother and father would crop up. My mother was always a stickler for having everything in its place. She wanted the house to be perfect. All of us being clean were very important, and everything was just so, right down to the grass and bushes outside. Inbred in my mother from her childhood, was to take a bath before bed every single night. The reason being my mother's mother was widowed with three children at the age of thirty-three. Her husband had died at the age of thirty-five from a massive heart attack. So my mother's mother taught her three children that by taking a bath each night before bed, it would cut down on dirtying the sheets and comforters so quickly. Resulting in saving lots of work for her mother.

On the other hand, my father was raised during the Great Depression in a cold water flat taking a bath once a week. The reason being his mother had to heat hot water on the stove because in those days there was no hot water readily available. Don't forget, my father was born in 1924; things were much different then, eighty-three years ago. Before I was born, these differences didn't seem to show up. However, with a child, and them aging more and more, cracks seemed to enter the marriage.

The major crack came in the form of my father's sister. Aunt Rita and my mother had a history before I was born. My mother tried to deal with her by agreeing with everything that she said until it came to religion. To give you a little insight into the kind of person Aunt Rita, we'll go back to before I was born. To make it brief, Aunt Rita had a large family; four children and a husband along with grandchildren. Examined further, all of her children were grown up. Now keep in mind the fact that my mother is way younger. This woman is nearly my father's age except for my father's age; in her eighties.

So as I was saying, before I was born Aunt Rita was so alone. Her husband went into his own shell, and hardly had anything to do with her except for eating meals with her together. Her children put up with her, would do what she said on demand, but mostly had their own lives and their own children. Leaving her to find her own outlet in life. She tried to focus her attention on my mother and father, who, at the time, had no children. Of course my mother, focusing all of her attention on her being perfect, like Brie on "Desperate Housewives." My mother rejected her, leaving Aunt Rita with a grudge against my mother. Also leaving Aunt Rita alone again, trying to find another outlet. It turns out, after I was born, and got a little older, Aunt Rita would turn her focus and all of her attention on me. This in turn eventually alienates my father and me against my mother.

So, four years before I was born supposedly Aunt Rita was in the kitchen cooking, and the television was on with the 700 Club at that time. Aunt Rita, being a Catholic for forty years, heard the preaching on this show. At hearing this, she claimed to get a calling, and in years to come became a Born Again Christian. I'm not talking about just being Born Again; I'm talking fire and brimstone. Take it to the highest mountain, as far as you can take any belief to the limit. There are no words to how this belief captivated her, except to say that it took over her soul, mind, and body.

A woman who's already nervous and hyper, a very controlling person to begin with, used to always getting her way, now becomes convinced that she must save the world, in particular, her new nephew with the word of God as she sees it.

Chapter 7: Uprooted And Separated

Now as I grow up in a Catholic school, this is the topic that Aunt Rita focused on. Being against many Catholic beliefs, she began putting a wedge between my father and my mother. Ultimately putting a wedge between my mother and myself. Day after day, threatening us, saying that we would all go to Hell for believing in the beliefs of the Catholic religion. It seemed that that time in my parents’ lives became increasingly difficult. Now the age difference of twenty-three years between my mother and father was really increasingly a factor in the relationship. Aunt Rita, zeroing in, saw an opportunity to break them up, the money in my family was also a focus, having told her brother not to leave all of his money to my mother, because she had plenty of money of her own.

As time went on, my mother tried her best to hold it together. Aunt Rita tried her best to pull us away. It seemed my perfect life was starting to fall apart now that I look back. It seemed like out of seven days, three or four of them were spent away from home. See, Aunt Rita had a summer home in the Southern Tier with canoeing, bonfires, golf carts, swimming, tennis, etc.

When you're twelve, going to a campsite like that is pretty impressive. Aunt Rita, during all of this time my father and I were spending with her, little by little was tearing apart my belief in the Catholic religion. Of course, this was tearing apart my mother inside. My mother believed so much in the Catholic religion, having sent me to private Catholic schools for four years, however now at this time I was no longer going to Catholic schools because Aunt Rita told my father that the Catholic religion was blasphemy.

I was now in public schools and believing solely in Aunt Rita's religion. I considered whatever Aunt Rita said was the word of God in the highest degree. In the meantime, this altered all of our lives. My father and I spent four days out of seven every week with Aunt Rita up at her camp in the summer.