NEW DICTIONARY ENTRY
Clueless Emperors [kloo’ lis em’per ers] n. [derived from Hans Christian Andersen’s story The Emperor’s New Clothes] 1. People who use power foolishly or selfishly 2. People who halt progress 3. People who suck the life out of you
CLUELESS EMPERORS
How to Overcome Problem People and
Not Be One Yourself
Victoria Humphrey
PRINT EDITION ISBN: 978-1-939288-16-5
ISBN: 9781939288400
Library of Congress Control Number: 2013939533
©2013 by V. L. Humphrey.
All rights reserved.
www.CluelessEmperors.com
Clueless Emperors® is a registered trademark.
Published by BUZZ,
An Imprint of Wyatt-MacKenzie
CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
PART I: THE BASICS
Chapter 1: Clueless Emperors 101
Why They Do What They Do
They’re Everywhere
It’s Possible to Overcome Them
Chapter 2: The Clueless Emperor Profile
The Foolish and Selfish Misuse of Power
Overcome Them, Don’t Cure Them
Stop Colluding
Clueless Emperor Busters
Chapter 3: Content and Form
The Strategic Importance of Form
Why Form Is Often a Weak Link
Chapter 4: Power Plays
Position and Situation Power
Power Distribution
Chapter 5: The Clueless Emperor Inside You
Assessing Your Clueless Emperor Potential
Using New Skills Responsibly
Chapter 6: The Clueless Emperor Gamut: From Blockheads to Bullies to Beasts
Clueless Emperors Are Not All the Same
How to Evaluate Power
The Correlation between Power and Damages
PART II: THE FOUNDATION
Chapter 7: The Difference between Behaviors and Perceptions
Behaviors Are Facts
Perceptions Are Not Facts
When It’s OK to Use Perceptions
When Facts Are Required
Chapter 8: Feedback That Works
Feedback Isn’t an Enemy
Giving and Receiving Feedback With Grace
The Perils of Negative Feedback
Chapter 9: The Harmful Agendas of Clueless Emperors
Liking to Be Right versus Needing to Be Right
The Gift of Acknowledging Mistakes
Chapter 10: When Power and Harmful Agendas Coincide
The Pros and Cons of Agendas
How Agendas Affect Communication
Chapter 11: Using Emotion Effectively
Emotion Is Here to Stay
Why Emotion and Content Should Be Best Friends
Chapter 12: The Awareness Advantage
You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know
How to Gain Awareness
PART III: LEARNING THE SKILLS
Chapter 13: The Behavioral Menu
Let Your Voice and Body Work for You, Not against You
How to Showcase Your Content
Chapter 14: Audible Behaviors of the Clued-In
Volume and Inflection
Pronunciation and Pace
Word Choice When Speaking
Balance of Questions and Declarative Statements
Silence
Auditory Timing
The Choice to Write or Speak
Air Time
The Audible Bottom Line
Chapter 15: Visible Behaviors of the Clued-In
Facial Expressions
Eye Contact
Body Language
Physical Appearance
Physical Timing
The Setting
Word Choice When Writing
Punctuation
Length of a Written Message
The Visible Bottom Line
PART IV: IMPLEMENTING THE SKILLS
Chapter 16: Integrating New Behavior into Your Life
Nine Case Studies
Chapter 17: When Success Is Not an Option
One Case Study
Chapter 18: Final Thoughts
AFTERWORD
APPENDIX A: A Retelling of “The Emperor’s New Clothes”
APPENDIX B: Answers to Chapter 7 Quiz
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
INDEX
For Foster
Your intelligence, high energy, and unconditional love amaze me every day.
“The only end of writing is to enable the readers better to
enjoy life, or better to endure it.”
—Samuel Johnson
We don’t always get along with each other for a wide variety of reasons. It would be an exceptional person who is logical, kind-hearted, and socially skilled—all the time. Unfortunately, selfish motivation is common and when people behave this way, resolving differences with them isn’t easy. Tempers can flare at a moment’s notice—even our best intentions can’t be counted on to prevent bruised relationships—resulting in stalled progress and communication breakdowns. So we get stressed out, ask our friends for advice, don’t get enough sleep, and wonder how to make things better. Without the right skills, our efforts to protect personal “territory” fail, and the final outcome is all too predictable. In the life-isn’t-fair department, the person with the highest rank usually prevails, regardless of the facts.
Have you ever clashed with someone whose primary motive seems to be self-promotion at all costs? Disagreeing with a need-to-win person isn’t pleasant and hoping for fair and equitable treatment is wishful thinking. To complicate matters, persuading the antagonist to listen to your point of view feels like an impossible assignment. When such a person is taking undue advantage and also has the power to control how things work out for you, who gets the last word?
Any satisfaction we might gain from informing people of their bad behavior—even under our breath—is short-term. Although name-calling may have some blow-off-steam appeal, it also implies a sense of helplessness if labeling their misconduct is all we do. Quietly giving up and giving in when people have the power to shut us down doesn’t work either—it just makes their job easier, and our lives more stressful.
Understanding the root cause of power struggles can significantly improve the odds of being successful. To help with that, the term “Clueless Emperor” provides insight into their self-centered ways:
Looking at problem behavior through this lens provides clues for recognizing the force that drives inappropriate actions. People in a Clueless-Emperor state of mind, regardless of the territory they control, have one trait in common: they use their power foolishly or selfishly. And they certainly do suck the life out of people who lack the skills to stand up for themselves. Clueless Emperor behavior is pervasive. We may work with people who behave this way, or socialize with them, do business with them, and even live with them. And sometimes we are them.
Clueless Emperors—especially when there is no opposition—cause hardship with wide-ranging penalties: from benign to life altering. In extreme cases, people die as a result of their destructive actions. When circumstances give them the power to ensure an outcome—guaranteed to be in their best interests—problems are inescapable. Some skilled individuals have the talent to prevail when Clueless Emperors obstruct progress, but most people are immobilized, like deer in headlights. They’re also clueless, but in a very different way, and for a very different reason: they have less power than the Clueless Emperors taking advantage of them and don’t know how to take care of their own needs.
Abusing authority for personal gain is a historical equalizer, so Clueless Emperors’ misconduct is certainly nothing new. It’s also not new that people in the vicinity of Clueless Emperors often feel the pressure to conform. So why does this kind of exploitation persist? The answer lies in understanding certain characteristics of human nature that influence behavior and motivation. Once armed with appropriate knowledge, the next step is developing the skills to prevail—the mechanics of which are described in these pages. The tactics and strategies provided here will help readers achieve Clued-In status, which affords several advantages. These benefits are the value proposition offered in this book:
Although my primary goal is to help people overcome the Clueless Emperors in their future, readers will also learn to heed personal warning signals in order to avoid irresponsible behavior of their own making. Clued-In citizens know that it’s important to recognize and manage any personal tendencies along these lines.
My education and career in sales, organizational development, and human resources have taught me how to overcome Clueless Emperors, despite their power and authority. Although it was never my original intent, the profession I chose made it imperative for me to gain this knowledge. With decades of experience behind me, I wrote this book to share what I’ve learned so you can achieve the same skill with more speed, and less pain, than if trial and error were your only teachers. Fuzzy platitudes have been kept to a minimum here, but specific and actionable guidance is plentiful. There is a way to overcome Clueless Emperors and not be one yourself—and I’m going to show you how to do it.
PART 1
The Basics
“Nothing is more terrible than ignorance in action.”
—Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
If people misusing power and taking advantage of well-meaning citizens has ever been a problem for you, this book has information and guidance to help overcome these challenges. When selfish opportunists are on the loose, having effective skills is crucial. Although it’s reasonable to expect fair treatment, and the freedom to thrive in a world without unwarranted interference, life doesn’t always turn out that way. When reasonable people lack the know-how to hold their ground, they can’t effectively stand up for themselves in conflict situations. Although that goal may seem unattainable, there is a solution for those who want to succeed: the skills required to overcome Clueless Emperors are easily within your grasp—really. This chapter starts your exciting journey from the war-torn land of the uninformed to the tropical paradise of the Clued-In.
Although the term “emperor” is used throughout the book, it’s certainly not meant to imply that empresses are off the hook! Clueless Emperors come in different sizes, shapes, colors, ages, and genders. Unfortunately they can’t be recognized on sight—bad behavior is their calling card—so the ability to quickly assess when they’re in the vicinity provides advantages.
Clueless Emperors remind me of a human version of sharks: we don’t always know where they are, so it’s important to be on the lookout—their strikes can be sudden and painful. We know that sometimes they bite and sometimes they don’t—their behavior is unpredictable. We know that when they do bite, it can be very serious, sometimes people die, so we need to protect ourselves against them. Just as with sharks, if the victims of Clueless Emperors don’t know how to ward off threatening behavior, they’re forced to live with the damage left behind. Although the art of communication is always valuable, it becomes an extraordinary asset when Clueless Emperors are causing problems. Here are ways to identify them:
Clueless Emperors masterfully control their environment by using power foolishly or selfishly to push their own agendas—with no regard for the common good. They don’t feel like they’ve won, unless those who have disagreed with them have lost. They don’t seek opportunities for mutual gain, because that concept has never occurred to them. They don’t think about talented people or good ideas that get crushed. They get what they want, when they want it. If you are in their way, it’s important to learn how to maintain composure and think rationally, or be prepared for defeat.
Even though logic dictates that acknowledging problems is the first step toward fixing them, don’t count on Clueless Emperors choosing this path—they take care of their own needs without consideration of a broader point of view. Facts are irrelevant, and logic doesn’t apply. No doubt, problem-solving skills are required to get around Clueless Emperors, but intellect and logic alone are often not enough to compensate for their sheer power. This book helps you with a unique set of skills that compensates for a lack of power on your part: behavioral skills are a key ingredient to overcoming Clueless Emperors.
Lots of very smart people don’t have a clue about effective behavioral skills—what they are, or how to develop them. You will get detailed instructions here that include tips for how to be effective with a wide variety of people in your life—from family members and friends—to work colleagues at all hierarchical levels, bosses included.
A fairy tale I loved as a child, “The Emperor’s New Clothes,” inspired me to think of foolish, selfish people as Clueless Emperors. The story was written by Hans Christian Andersen way back in 1847, so this kind of behavior is obviously not a recent event! For those who missed this fairy tale, or perhaps no longer recall the details, a retelling can be found in Appendix A. In short, the main character is a know-it-all emperor who behaves selfishly, and doesn’t have a clue about his own foolishness.
Over quite a long period of time, those in the emperor’s inner circle act as if they don’t notice his self-centered ways and collectively keep up a charade to protect themselves from the fallout of speaking openly to their employer. Not surprisingly, the local residents follow their example and adopt the same behavior for fear of losing their livelihoods. The degree to which the townspeople turn a blind eye to their predicament might seem irrational, but their reality makes them afraid to speak up—so they pretend their environment is a happy place to live and work.
Finally and thankfully, justice prevails at the story’s conclusion, and the emperor gets what he deserves. The catalyst that brings the facts to light comes from a surprising source—it’s a child’s innocent remark that breaks the empire’s communication logjam. But then, that’s why we call the story a fairy tale. Several life lessons from Andersen’s educational narrative are explored and analyzed here, specifically two important messages for grown-up readers:
Perhaps if this book had been available in the mid-nineteenth century, the emperor might have avoided the humiliation he ultimately suffered. But then, perhaps not, because Clueless Emperors are rarely interested in self-improvement—in their minds, they are nothing short of perfect, and we should never count on them to do the right thing.
Even though Andersen’s fairy tale seems uncomplicated on the surface, it reveals a complex aspect of human nature at its core: he ever so gently reminds us that people with power are capable of abusing it while creating all manner of misery for others. He also lets us know that we have choices when managing power—other people’s as well as our own. The central characters in the story would have experienced a more agreeable outcome had they been Clued-In to the skills that would have prevented their problems in the first place, including the emperor himself.
Over the years, the fairy tale has become a metaphor for the social custom of people not speaking candidly—especially to those who misuse power—even when the truth is nakedly apparent. This aspect of human nature poses some interesting questions:
I will try to answer these questions and explain the motivation behind Clueless Emperors’ misconduct, and the reason they carry on with plans they know are wrong. Hoping for an innocent child to show up and save the day isn’t a practical strategy. It may work in children’s stories, but it certainly doesn’t work that way in real life.
Understanding the skills and achieving the skills, however, are two very different things, so this book ensures you have the expertise for both. With the right skills in hand, there isn’t a need to feel helpless when Clueless Emperors interfere and take advantage of their power. Everyone can benefit from the advice in these pages, because Clueless Emperor predicaments are so common. The tips offered here are especially valuable, because they’re not easily accessible:
Although some of the material in this book can be found in other resources, you won’t find it integrated under one cover as it is here. The skills are easy to understand as individual behaviors, and when practiced in combination, they become the formula that discourages Clueless Emperors. You’ll find many examples that illustrate the recommendations, and each chapter’s conclusion has a “Main Points” summary for easy review of the material. By following the advice and suggested exercises, readers will be able to develop the ability to achieve goals despite attempts to stifle their progress.
When valuable thoughts and ideas are squashed, Clueless Emperors don’t care because they are, well, clueless. To add insult to injury, by definition, their actions are dead wrong. When people are Clued-In and use their power wisely, they should be respected and followed. It’s the combination of power and cluelessness that’s destructive. This point needs to be emphasized. History has shown that power tends to corrupt, but we shouldn’t assume this is always the case—there are noteworthy exceptions. It’s important to objectively evaluate problems based on their own unique characteristics, and the information coming up will help you do just that.
The expertise gained here can also be applied to short-term or infrequent encounters with Clueless Emperors who are exasperating at a particular moment in time. For example, think about customer service representatives who are not Clued-In about their role to serve customers and prove that lack of knowledge by disregarding the very people they’re being paid to help. Standing in long lines or waiting on hold (the “your-call-is-very-important-to-us” recording that plays over and over isn’t convincing) only to be “rescued” by a clueless customer service person is not my idea of a good time. Regrettably, it’s often the only choice when we’re in their clutches.
The customer service function in many companies needs a major overhaul. Countless business articles over the years confirm this sad reality. The companies themselves can’t seem to fix the problem, so perhaps frustrated customers can lend a hand by making use of the information in this book to encourage better service: savvy, Clued-In customers with effective skills have a better chance of getting their needs met than customers who don’t have a clue about how to get the service they deserve.
Gaining awareness of Clueless Emperors’ motives improves the odds of overcoming them. Specifically, recognizing why Clueless Emperors win so often will equip readers to find effective ways to disagree with them, even in the face of their power. Sometimes Clueless Emperors behave irresponsibly out of sheer habit and don’t comprehend why the people around them feel stressed out. In other cases, they do know—and just don’t care. Whether they know better or not, challengers who lack the skills to overcome them become pawns. Or worse.
A good starting point for a Clueless Emperor 101 education is to watch any news broadcast or scan any newspaper and take notice of people who love the limelight. As an example, politicians often provide excellent public illustrations of people who abuse power and behave ridiculously. Just look for stories about people who use their power in foolish or selfish ways—a Clueless Emperor will be right there. Even though the stories that make headline news featuring high-profile Clueless Emperors grab our interest, the low-profile ones aren’t much different—they’re just not well-known. Clamoring for attention is their favorite sport, and not getting caught breaking rules is the goal.
Many businesses, corporations, and governments of all sizes work hard to keep their local Clueless Emperor debacles hush-hush. Even though many of them make every effort to conceal wrongdoing (the tobacco industry comes to mind), their shenanigans—or many times worse—have made big news in the past few years. A spotlight was directed at this problem in an article in Crain’s New York Business (July 23, 2012), featuring a boutique firm that specializes in controlling public relations nightmares for their clients. The article says that hiring these types of firms for damage control is becoming more and more common, but warns their services don’t come cheap. The story goes on to reference a survey done by Spencer Stuart and Weber Shandwick: 71% of large companies have experienced a reputation-threatening crisis within the past two years. Wow—that number certainly corresponds to a lot of bad behavior!
Although the article focuses on the public relations firms themselves (high-profile clients like Bernie Madoff and Dominique Strauss-Kahn are cited), one has to wonder why so much bad behavior was tolerated in the first place—to the point that high-priced damage control was required to suppress it. It’s not hard to imagine that people using power foolishly or selfishly are somehow involved. It’s safe to say that keeping Clueless Emperors around can be expensive.
Although disagreeing with Clueless Emperors is never fun, achieving independence from them is important, because they can show up anywhere at any time. Unless you’re a hermit, there isn’t an option to be out of harm’s way. Left unchecked, it’s common for Clueless Emperors to gang up with disastrous results:
Nearly everyone has been squeezed by a Clueless Emperor or two—or maybe more?—and because it’s so unpleasant to be in their grip, you may have chosen to go along with them out of self-protection. My goal is to help you discourage people with self-serving intentions for a Clueless-Emperor-Free future. That said, overcoming an Emperor may not occur with every attempt, so I also address what to do with challenging situations that can’t be resolved satisfactorily. There are circumstances when a departure strategy is the most sensible choice, but you’ll want the certainty of having done your best before exiting the scene of the crime.
There is no reason to give up or give in any longer. The counsel here doesn’t offer bulletproof protection, but it does provide a Kevlar-like vest. Beyond protection, there are also some effective strategies that will facilitate getting your needs met easily and smoothly, without acrimony, no matter how many obstacles are thrown your way.
Chapter 1 Main Points
Clueless Emperors 101
“I had no idea there was a special name for people who behave like I used to.”
—A Recovering Clueless Emperor
“It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.”
—Seneca
Clueless Emperors have a personality profile that’s one of a kind. To overcome them, it’s helpful to understand everything possible about their characteristics and motives. We’ll start this chapter with some frequently asked questions to give you a sense of how they operate:
1. Why are sharks illustrated on the cover of this book? Do they have something in common with Clueless Emperors?
Certainly, both are predators. But their similarities go beyond this obvious commonality. New research in the last decade indicates sharks are not the mindless, ruthless man-eaters we thought them to be. They are sociable and curious, but like Clueless Emperors, they have selfish motives and can’t be trusted. This is what makes both sharks and Emperors so dangerous. They draw us in (literally and figuratively), and then decide whether to bite us. When it comes to real sharks, we have a choice to stay out of the water. With Clueless Emperors, there is no choice. If we want to live in the real world, they are a force to be reckoned with and a challenge to overcome. The cover of this book depicts Clueless Emperors with sharks for brains as a reminder of their capability to harm.
2. How often do Clueless Emperors show up?
It’s the frequency of our interactions with people (family members, friends, professional colleagues, or service providers are examples) that dictates the number of Clueless Emperor encounters we’ll have. But it’s hard to predict exactly where or when this will happen, so it’s essential to be observant and have the skills to act at a moment’s notice.
It’s not uncommon for some people to experience multiple occurrences weekly. In difficult work or family situations, Clueless Emperor encounters can occur several times a day. In these extreme cases, prospects for satisfactory results seem unattainable and stress levels can become unbearable.
3. When is it important to be on the lookout for a Clueless Emperor who could pose a problem?
Clueless Emperors are probably lurking when you don’t feel free to express yourself. There is pressure to keep your head down and stay under the radar. You might feel a desire to escape. All these feelings will pass when you discover there are skills available to address these situations head-on and be successful.
4. What motivates Clueless Emperors to behave badly?
Sometimes Clueless Emperors use their power to block progress for no other reason than because they can. They like calling attention to their importance, because they’re full of themselves and love to show off. Sometimes they simply don’t know any better, or don’t realize what they’re doing. But most often, they consciously and selfishly advance their agendas for personal gain, and treat other people’s needs as trivial or of no consequence. They have no sense of civility when they want something and can’t get it quickly. Instant gratification is their lifeblood.
Clueless Emperors use their power to discount people’s input, abilities, and feelings without regard to any ideas or solutions those individuals might have contributed had they been free to have a say. If this is happening to you, pay attention. Ignoring conflict doesn’t make problems go away. People eventually suffer when they deny anything untoward is taking place, even when it’s right in front of their eyes.
5. What are the signs a Clueless Emperor is nearby?
Before answering this question specifically, it’s important to remember that sometimes bad outcomes occur when there isn’t a Clueless Emperor in sight. Knowledge or information required for a good decision is simply missing or ignored out of innocence, not malfeasance. People are giving their best effort to solve a problem, but they don’t know what they don’t know.
A Clueless Emperor is nearby when misconduct comes into play. Facts are withheld or crushed through a foolish or selfish misuse of power. How will you know the difference? Clueless Emperors are experts at ignoring people who would contribute if given a chance. An example might be when flaring tempers prevent information flow. Using inappropriate words or tones of voice that intimidate others to the point they stop talking is a common misuse of power.
Conversely, when Clueless Emperors themselves have pertinent information that isn’t compatible with their selfish goals, they keep it to themselves for self-centered reasons. Although this circumstance can be harder to detect, a key indicator is lack of information-sharing. The Enron Corporation scandal and the company’s subsequent downfall is a good example of executives who withheld information and privately colluded to misrepresent the company’s financial data. They committed this crime to drive up the corporation’s stock price for the sole purpose of increasing their personal wealth with no regard for employees or shareholders. (From the CNBC documentary The Smartest Guys in the Room, 2005.)
6. How do Clueless Emperors respond when a challenger is successful?
Sometimes they learn from the experience and become more civilized as a result. More often, however, they don’t learn a thing and remain clueless. Do not feel sorry for them when this occurs. This book is designed to help you overcome Clueless Emperors, not cure them. They are responsible for their own development. If the Clueless Emperors you overcome happen to have an “aha!” learning moment along the way, that’s great. But transforming personalities and reforming character flaws should not be your primary mission. Some of these scoundrels are very tough and resist change at all costs.
The goal is to neutralize power and get all perspectives taken into account, not necessarily repair an Emperor’s inability to collaborate. Having said that, this book is designed to teach skills that may cause Clueless Emperors to discover the error of their ways and behave less imperiously. It’s a great side benefit when this happens.
7. What is the likelihood of overcoming a Clueless Emperor?
Clueless Emperors come with different levels of power and nastiness. The more treacherous they are, the more difficult it is for any individual person to overcome them. This book teaches skills that provide the communication know-how and negotiation ability to succeed in most circumstances, but you need to calculate the risk before taking on this challenge. Most Clueless Emperors are manageable, but some of them are quite dangerous. This book helps with that, too, and offers realistic alternatives if you run into one whose ability to harm goes beyond your scope.
8. Do Clueless Emperors behave badly all the time?
A quotation by Abraham Lincoln sheds light on this question. Although his words are about gullibility, they can be reinterpreted to exemplify the Clueless Emperor dynamic. Lincoln provided insight about how often people are fooled when he said:
“It is true that you may fool all the people some of the time;
you can even fool some of the people all the time; but you can’t fool all of the people all of the time.”
When we understand what Lincoln was suggesting, we’re able to infer how frequently people behave like Clueless Emperors:
Although they can be tricky and mean-spirited, Clueless Emperors don’t usually behave that way full-time. Some people are exceptions to this general principle, but they are in the minority. The term “Clueless Emperor,” as it’s used in this book, is an abbreviated way of saying “when someone acts like a Clueless Emperor at a particular moment in time.”
Even though unrelenting Clueless Emperor behavior isn’t common, some people do behave this way with regularity and cause problems wherever they go—their self-absorbed condition keeps them isolated from reality. If you’re the target of a Clueless Emperor like this, don’t ever count on civilized conduct—their bad behavior should never come as a surprise.
Sometimes people do surprise us, however, when they act like Clueless Emperors only occasionally—after all, predicting how any one person might use his or her power in any given situation is not a precise science. Indeed, it’s what makes human beings so complex. When people behave badly, it’s easy to forget their positive attributes—and when they behave with civility, it’s easy to forget their potential for ruthlessness. Thoughtful consideration and heartless self-indulgence in the same person are not mutually exclusive.
One of America’s most controversial presidents, Lyndon Johnson, illustrates this dynamic very well. Robert Caro’s four biographies of the 36th U.S. President vividly capture how Johnson dramatically and consistently exercised his power for both good and ill purposes, revealing how difficult it can be to predict human behavior.
Last but not least, we must attend to our inner Clueless Emperor, because everyone has occasion to misuse power from time to time. When we’re conscious of this potential within ourselves, less effort is required to avoid misconduct. If you’re wondering how your own behavior fits into this model, Chapter 5 provides clues.
9. Would there ever be a reason to deliberately avoid Clueless Emperors?
The short answer is “yes,” but there is more to consider. Let’s assume for a moment that you read this book from cover to cover, understand the skills taught in the final chapters, practice the skills, and master them. Your newfound expertise has given purpose to your life: you feel a calling to eradicate Clueless Emperors from the planet.
STOP!!
If a Clueless Emperor’s behavior does not have negative implications for you personally, or for people with whom you’re aligned, it’s advisable to walk away. When you have no vested interest in the outcome of a particular conflict, choosing to insert yourself in someone else’s disagreement is generally unwise and unnecessarily risky. In other words, do not set yourself up as a one-person Clueless Emperor S.W.A.T. team. Your time is better spent closer to home, overcoming Clueless Emperors who affect your own life.
If you feel compelled to help the victim of a Clueless Emperor, even though the circumstances have nothing to do with you personally, make sure the victim is open to advice before proceeding. Some people prefer to whine and complain without accepting responsibility for their inaction. They take pleasure wallowing in misery and enjoy feeling sorry for themselves. They may even resent an intrusion on their pity party. It is their right, after all, to behave childishly. In these circumstances, the most sensible action is to leave these crybabies alone.
The answers to these frequently asked questions are intended to provide a glimpse into the Clueless Emperor personality, and why their decision-making causes so much failure. Think about some bad decisions that have negatively affected you: it’s likely they can be traced to a misuse of power. This is what the majority of failures have in common, which is why the physical skills taught in the final chapters of this book contribute to effective decisions and fewer conflicts.
It doesn’t help to know that when Clueless Emperors selfishly wield their muscle for personal gain, their misdeeds often catch up with them. Regrettably, karma can sometimes take a while to arrive. In the meantime, life for the Clueless Emperors’ victims is painful. If you choose to tackle an Emperor head-on without the right skills, it would be less painful to go swimming with sharks instead and end your misery faster. On the other hand, if you’ve been in cahoots with them, it’s time to learn how to defend yourself. People who do nothing to confront Emperors are part of the problem. So why do people collude? Here are two primary explanations:
Most unskilled people are rightfully concerned about the possible harmful consequences of a confrontation, so they play it safe and take no action—a lack of knowledge and experience makes it difficult to imagine other choices. When would-be challengers can’t acknowledge a lack of skill, they invent excuses for their failure to act: they might say they just wanted to be polite, or didn’t want to rock the boat. After all, fragile egos must be soothed. But these rationalizations don’t help anyone. They merely make it easier for Clueless Emperors to rule.
Make no mistake. Clueless Emperors want the people around them to be submissive. When people don’t comply and can’t effectively negotiate—they lose. Unfortunately, as people gain effective confrontational skills, they appear more frequently on Clueless Emperors’ radar screens. Anyone who gains power and uses it judiciously makes an especially appealing target, because trouncing someone who uses power sensibly makes Clueless Emperors feel extra superior. Fully prepared is safer than partially prepared.
When conflict with a Clueless Emperor threatens to harm you or people with whom you’re aligned, it’s essential to address the issue and reach a satisfactory resolution. Expertise is imperative in these situations, because skills drive strength. Although it can be challenging to get Clueless Emperors to listen, everyone’s ideas should be given consideration, including yours. Here’s why: what if a brilliant idea wasn’t taken seriously because the person who had it didn’t communicate well, allowing a Clueless Emperor to kill it? There are lots of examples in these pages where this very thing has happened. It doesn’t make sense for anyone to be dismissed before his or her ideas are even considered, let alone accepted.
Before challenging a Clueless Emperor, it’s important to know how many groveling hangers-on are sucking up to that person. Clueless Emperors seldom operate alone. The most influential ones like to surround themselves with sycophants who turn kowtowing into an art form. I call them Clueless Emperor Apprentices, and the more of them there are, the more hazardous the environment they control.
When their power remains unrestricted, Clueless Emperors and associated Apprentices become deeply embedded in the families or organizations they dominate. Sometimes people in their sphere of influence begin to imitate them out of fear. That’s why it’s crucial to assess how many Apprentices are supporting any particular Clueless Emperor blocking your progress—before deciding on a strategy. Never assume they’re operating alone.
Left unchecked, Clueless Emperors will proliferate over time and eventually destroy any environment they control. Adolf Hitler’s source of power is an extreme example of this dynamic. We must remember, like many other oppressors, he didn’t act alone. It wasn’t possible to carry out his plan without complicity, so he recruited like-minded people and put them in positions of power. His inner circle used intimidation and fear tactics to push an agenda that unimaginably succeeded for a long period of time.
Even though the horror of Hitler’s regime is unparalleled, the model he put into operation isn’t unique. It exists in families, private and public companies, and governments. A powerful select few behave badly—sometimes breaking the law—hide what they do and get away with it for a period of time, sometimes long periods of time. Meanwhile, their victims suffer.
Clusters of executive-level Clueless Emperors hanging out together in corporate and government organizations cause no end of problems. For example, in 2008, when our country faced a major financial crisis, it would have been less disastrous if more Clueless Emperor Busters had been around. Many, many thanks to those who refused to collude with the power-mongers, not the least of whom was Brooksley Born, former chair of the Commodity Futures Trading Commission (CFTC). During her tenure from August 1996 to June 1999, Ms. Born repeatedly warned Congress of the need to regulate over-the-counter derivatives and other specific financial instruments, but her concerns were ignored. The lack of regulation in this market contributed to the economic crisis that took hold of the United States several years later—a good example of karma taking a while to arrive.
Although Ms. Born persistently tried to make this point, there were too many Congressional Clueless Emperors blocking her recommendations and drowning out her voice. Had there been a few more Clueless Emperor Busters to support her, the economic disaster that followed may well have been averted. Brooksley Born’s efforts were finally, if belatedly, acknowledged when she was chosen as a recipient of the 2009 John F. Kennedy Profile in Courage Award.
The companies that propelled our country into economic failure had plenty of Clueless Emperors on their payrolls. Sadly, taxpayer money would not have been needed to bail them out had there been sufficient numbers of Clueless Emperor Busters working inside those companies, or the government agencies theoretically regulating them. We will never know what might have been, but the odds are, opportunities were missed.
It’s tough to go against powerful leaders who control people’s livelihoods, but bystanders who are aware of wrongdoing can make a difference if they’re skilled and band together. The lesson here? Never let a lack of skill prevent you from stopping Clueless Emperors who use their power in harmful ways. When Clueless Emperors are doing bad things, the good people who watch and do nothing are helping them. People who learn and apply the skills that prevent Clueless Emperors from succeeding are role models, and they often inspire bystanders to join in and contribute. Develop the right skills, and you can be one of these people.
I hope everyone reading this book will aspire to become a Clueless Emperor Buster in whatever world you inhabit and sphere of influence you enjoy. Keep in mind there isn’t a lot of difference between the everyday problems of average citizens and the powerful few. It’s just that when the powerful few need to solve their problems, they do it in a way that causes heads to roll. There really is strength in numbers, so just imagine what could happen if a critical mass of people developed the competence to overcome Clueless Emperors who needed to be controlled. Look at it this way:
Yes, it can be challenging and even risky to speak up. It’s why people often remain silent, even when it means sacrificing their own needs, but there is a safe way to stop colluding. Most people know, whether consciously or subconsciously, that special skills are required to disagree with powerful people. When those without power don’t have these skills or can’t envision the skills can be learned, they feel safer keeping their thoughts to themselves. Those who try and fail to negotiate with Clueless Emperors seldom feel motivated to persevere. The losses are too painful. They quit and punish themselves instead, but it doesn’t make sense to give up—anyone who is motivated can learn the skills.
Each person reading this book has a unique baseline of competencies: those with a sophisticated ability will use the information to add a few new skills or polish what they already know, but readers starting from scratch should have no fear. The required expertise can’t be delivered in pill form, but specific recommendations that have the potential to transform lives are in these pages. My promise is that you will not wonder what to do, or where to begin, as you close the back cover. Our contract is simple. I provide the blueprint and building materials, and you provide the desire to learn.
Chapter 2 Main Points
The Clueless Emperor Profile
“Not to sound defensive [ahem], but I wasn’t a Clueless Emperor all the time. I’d like to think I was quite charming upon occasion.”
—A Recovering Clueless Emperor
“When form predominates, meaning is blunted…. When content predominates, interest lags.”
—Paul Rand
How can a person who is targeted by Clueless Emperors succeed in a conflict? If you have struggled to survive their attacks, it’s probably because important provisions are missing from your communication first-aid kit. When you’ve upset them and adrenaline is pumping, although it may seem counterintuitive, employing Clueless Emperor tactics won’t help. Remember, it’s their power that helps them win, not their wits. Without the authority to overcome them, you’ll need other intelligent means.