Copyright © by Christopher M. Loncar
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ISBN 10: 0-9864132-0-8
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What people are saying about
THE TINKERING GENERATION
The first time Chris shared in a staff meeting his thoughts and revelation about the teenage years, I was impressed and onboard! In fact, I may have been among the first telling Chris, “This needs to be a book!” Now you hold in your hands truths that may just bring a paradigm shift in how you view those 13-19-year-olds we call “teenagers.” Chris Loncar is the real deal! Having the privilege of dedicated him as a baby and walking with him through the major defining moments of his life, I can speak with authority about Chris as few can. He is a son in whom we are well pleased! Whether you are a teen, parent, teacher, coach, or youth pastor, The Tinkering Generation will open your eyes to this emerging generation who need to be understood and challenged to dream big and do hard things!
BISHOP DAVID L. THOMAS
Senior Pastor of Victory Christian Center
Youngstown, Ohio
All readers, whatever their age, will find much to stimulate their thinking in this book. Its insight into today’s “tinkering generation”, will dare you to get beyond your stereotypical views. It will enable you to see that when young people are informed, taught, challenged, and activated, they can and will see beyond themselves. And ultimately, they can become focused and passionate and will do great things for God’s glory.
DAN PROX
Board Chairman of Change30
In this book, Pastor Loncar sets a mature and even-minded vision for tomorrow’s leaders. With both compassion and clarity, he sets high expectations for young people who are all too often misunderstood. In place of criticism, he offers insight into what motivates, inspires, and perhaps what will ultimately shape The Tinkering Generation for a bright future of Kingdom living.
JOSHUA D. REICHARD, PH.D. ED.S.
Academic Dean, Valley Christian Schools
In his debut book, The Tinkering Generation, Chris Loncar raises the bar with insightful wisdom, practical and prophetic keys, and straightforward truth to empower the next generation! This book is full of tangible and rich truths for all parents, pastors, and leaders to build, shape, and equip their sons and daughters for victorious living.
I have known Chris for many years and he burns with passion for Jesus. His dedication and commitment to fathering and imparting life into young people and leadership is powerful and anointed. The Tinkering Generation is a life-giving book that gets right to the heart of the matter. I highly recommend its anointed message and messenger!
BRIAN GIBBS
Pastor and Founder of Light the Fire Ministries
Youngstown, Ohio
In The Tinkering Generation, author Chris Loncar pulls back the curtain that keeps so many of us from understanding today’s youth. His keen insights, personal life experiences, and biblical references blend together to make a how-to manual for anyone involved in ministering to young people. Chris possesses a unique perspective in that he is young enough to relate to their world and yet mature enough to provide guidance and direction in it. His passion and love for young people is evident in his ministry to the youth in his church and in our school. Chris exemplifies the qualities that I hope to see in all of my students. The Tinkering Generation is a must-read for youth leaders, middle and high school teachers, and parents.
MIKE PECCHIA
President of Valley Christian Schools
As a young person, I am speaking from a place of insight and experience when I say that apathy is one of the foundational issues that my generation faces on a daily basis. Over half of the world’s population is under the age of 25, and yet it seems as though we have done so little to change our world. When most of us have never even considered the possibility that we were made for a reason, it is undeniable that a revolution of true identity needs to begin. I believe that Chris Loncar’s book is part of that revolution.
I am honored to witness this new stage in Chris’ life. I am so grateful for the work that he does in training up young people to become world changers, and I know that God is using him to set the bar of expectation for a generation that was meant to aim high. So much like the rest of his life’s work, this book is a genuine challenge to compel a generation to live beyond themselves. This book calls young people to live lives of the highest caliber so that, when all is said and done, they will have the immense privilege of knowing that they changed the world and did not let the world change them.
LIA MILLS
Founder and Director of True Choice
truechoice.com
As someone who has known and worked alongside Chris for years, I believe this book is a must have for the next generation or for those who work with them. The bedrock of this book is looking at principles that have stood the test of time in seeing teenagers and young adults reach their full potential and the vital part parents, teachers, pastors, or any leader in their life plays. Chris has uniquely equipped those who read it to stay relevant for life-long impact in an ever-changing society. Each chapter Chris writes comes from a deep wealth of experience and insight from being at the center of this next generation and researching their history. As you read this book, you will be encouraged and challenged, but will finish with understanding and hopefulness in The Tinkering Generation.
NATE ORTIZ
Youth Pastor at Victory Christian Center
Youngstown, Ohio
Far too often society views the pre-adolescent/adolescent years as a time to hope for the best, yet prepare for the worst. We take a bunker mentality and hope that at the end of their teenage years, these young men and women come out with very little long-term injuries that will impede their growth and ability to become productive members of society.
These teenage years are low in expectations and high in worries.
Chris Loncar has done us all a great service by properly identifying our biases toward young adults while, at the same time, speaking to the greatness that lies within each and every young person--a greatness that is just waiting to be identified and encouraged.
There are many roadblocks to that greatness being released in the life of a young person, and in our society the “cards” are indeed stacked against them. The cards of information overload, of low expectations, of low responsibilities, and a general malaise regarding purpose and identity being realized. Chris speaks directly to those roadblocks while helping adults and parents put practical steps in place to help develop purpose, responsibility, and greatness!
This book should be on the bookshelf of every youth pastor, volunteer, teacher, and parent and should serve as a tool in the toolbox to aid in releasing our young people into lives of purpose and excellence!
DANIEL E. OSBORN
City Director
C.S. Lewis Institute Northeast Ohio
For my parents, pastors, and mentors in
my life over the years. You have inspired me to
do what you did for me for others.
FOREWORD
BY: PATRICK SCHATZLINE
Every now and then, you meet a leader who captures your attention not just by what he says and does, but by the very anointing that is a part ofhis being. One of those leaders I speak of is pastor and author Chris Loncar. I remember thinking to myself one day while traveling with Chris that this guy truly has his finger on the pulse of this generation. Chris has a passion for parents and leaders to not only understand the next generation, but also for each of us to see our incredible God-potential. I, for one, listen closely when Chris speaks, because he hears directly from the heart of God. His heart to see this generation awaken with the power of God is contagious.
I believe that this book is one of the most prolific, encouraging, and challenging books ever written on God’s purpose for the students of today. This book reminds us that we must rise up and lead. It holds time-honored principles that must be reawakened in our society. The Bible declares in Psalms 24:6,
Such is the generation of those who seek him, who seek your face, God of Jacob.
PSALMS 24:6
I believe that God will awaken this generation, but it will take each of us doing our parts. This book shows us how to start the process.
The alarms are going off all around us. Whether it is another school shooting or a suicide, we must ask the questions: Where are the Nazirites, the Prophets, and the movement makers of the next generation? I can tell you, after speaking to over two million students across the world, I believe they are hidden in their bedrooms and engaging on social media, simply existing. They are waiting on us to give them direction and vision. We must say enough is enough. We are the last line of defense. The family system in our nation is in shambles. The Church must awaken to the growing epidemic that we are losing this generation. So often, we can be so busy that we forget the enemy is subtle, and he will do everything he can to scar this generation. For years, we have rushed students off to retreats, camps, and backrooms for spiritual encounters, but God has called the Church to be the answer. Culture is determining the boundaries for this generation, and the result is a “Tinkering Generation” that needs guidance. The pressure to bow to the newest trends and succeed without a moral compass is the greatest threat to the spiritual compass of this emerging generation. The Apostle Paul implored us to get up and stand firm in this culture.
So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.
ROMANS 12:1-2, MESSAGE BIBLE
This book tackles the hard topics with grace and wisdom. This is not just a “how-to” book, but a “what if” book. It is a prophetic message of hope and change. This should be a handbook in every Christian school, university, and household in America. It not only brings hope to parents and teachers about how to engage students, but it also encourages dialogue, wisdom, and the art of communication with this emerging generation that will bring lasting change. I want to challenge parents to read this with an open mind and a heart to heal. As the parent of a grown son who is in ministry and also a teenage daughter, I was reminded that I must do more. We must be deliberate in transforming our kids. In fact, after I read this book, I went on a date with my daughter and helped her dream out her future. What she doesn’t know is that this book stirred my heart to do that. Thank you, Chris for reminding a dad to stay in his daughter’s world! Buy this book, read it, digest it. It is a masterpiece!
PATRICK SCHATZLINE
Remnant Ministries, International
Author of Why is God So Mad at Me?
I Am Remnant & Unqualified!
INTRODUCTION
I cannot tell you how difficult it has been to name this book. It has taken literally years for me to decide. “Whispering to Elephants”? No, that sounds weird and more like an Animal Planet special than a book about helping teenagers. “The 2,000-Year-Old Teenager”? Catchy, but does more to create a piece of the puzzle than the whole picture. “Heroes & Legends”? Too bland for a book title. “The Tinkering Generation”? That could be it, but does not feel perfect. If only I could find the perfect title…
And then, I stopped myself and smiled at my own tinkering nature. It should not have surprised me that I had to make an effort to live my own message. How difficult it was for me to decide! But the realization hit me hard that if I did not make a decision, this book would not be released. If it was not released, then my message would be lost. And if my message was lost, then what a waste of what God has given me. So I decided to decide. I committed to commit. And now the book is in your hands!
You know the feeling, don’t you? While decision-making and commitment comes more naturally to the older generations, I am also certain you can’t help but feel indecisive about some things in your own life. However, with our teens and young adults, this indecisiveness is a way of life for many of them. I have explored many reasons for the tinkering. It is not the culture for us to encourage young people to commit to much of anything in their teen years, but then when they turn the magical number of eighteen, we start to expect what was never there. They have learned a lot of academic knowledge, but not much wisdom; an extraordinary amount of talent, but little purpose to apply it to; a lot of strength and beauty, but not much insight on how to properly engage it with the world. Collectively, these things and more make up a generation that is by and large orphaned and tinkering, not fathered and secure.
As you read this book that has a great deal to do with reaching out to the younger generation, please know that I strive to honor all generations. I am not here to decry the lack of honor that comes from young people toward the older generations, but I am also not going to ignore that fact, either. It remains one of the single greatest challenges I have in my dealings with young people. The complaints from the post 20-something generations are abundantly clear: amongst many teens and young adults is a general disrespect, a lack of wisdom, and stubbornness. I have read many articles about the over-spoiling of kids and the lack of hard-work ethic. Believe me, I know that there are a host of challenges present with this generation, as I am in the trenches with them every day.
But I have also seen amazing things in young people that have astounded the peers and adults around them. To watch a teenager come alive and use all of that youthful zeal toward worthy causes has been one of the chief joys of my life. So many of them refresh me with their laughter, challenge me with their dreams, and inspire me with their passions. You see, this is not a book concerned only with talking about problems. It is about solving them and connecting with their hearts.
Scripture declares that the hearts of the fathers will turn to the children, and as I get older, that truth is becoming more real to me. We can wait for children to make the first move for reconciliation between generations, but that might never come because most simply don’t know how to make the first move. It often takes an older, wiser, and more experienced generation to step in, bridge the gap, endure their resistance, and help. If we do not help them, it is not that no one else will. The question then becomes, who will take your place? If we do not take mentorship roles in their lives, then peers, celebrities, and other potentially shady characters are happy to fill the void that we leave empty.
I, for one, am desperate for help in my life. I need for the hearts of fathers to turn to me so that I can turn to them, because I can’t get where God wants me to be without their help. And even if I somehow managed to get there, I could not stay there without their assistance. Having lost my own father several years ago, I am biologically orphaned. Without people like my father-in-law, Gary Sweet, Bishop David Thomas, and others, that absence of a father would have become a void to be filled by God knows who. It is true that some teens and young adults will resist you to the point of rejection, but there is too much at stake to not try.
But where do you start when it comes to engaging the life of a young person? In my millennial generation, we are dominated by indecision, while at the same time, immensely talented and out-of-the-box. This allows for some explosive one-time bursts of effectiveness that can astound the world, but because of the lack of ability to commit, it’s difficult to see that transform become dedication and consistency. Being outof-the-box, then, tends to cause us to think that commitment means conformity and going back to the box we so loathe.
I know this not only by observation, but by having experienced “tinkerer” tendencies myself in my young adult years. I battled through many circular decisions, designed not to make progress, but to go round and round, as if I could trick myself and those around me that I was making decisions, while really going nowhere. I am from a generation that goes from school to school, job to job, significant other to significant other. The same tendencies are in the younger teens as well, and it is creating a particular crisis that I will talk about throughout the book.
But have you ever seen a child burn for Jesus? Been blown away by the passion in their voices, the ability to simultaneously juggle several talents at once, or the willingness to reject the destructive apathy and rampant consumerism of the world? Many are using those qualities for unimportant purposes, but there are some who are turning that fuel to fire and burning bright. I know some, and if you look hard enough, you’ll find that you know a few, too. Imagine what could happen with someone like you willing to enter into their world! And the ones that seem to be wasting their young fire? Most of those kids do so because they have not been shown a greater purpose to engage in.
Thus, no one can afford to exempt themselves from impacting the life of a child. Even if you are not a parent, you have a responsibility to your legacy to impact a child’s life to make sure that legacy is passed down to the next generation. You could say young people bother you and you can’t stand being around them, but if you take that stance, you won’t have anything to pass on. You will come in contact with young people often, so what can you offer? You have wisdom. You have experience. And they need it desperately, even if they don’t show it. The orphan spirit is prevalent in the younger generations, and yet there is strength like that of elephants either destroying what is in their path or constructively using that force to make an impact through faith and love.
As for me, I find myself right in between the younger and older generations. Old enough to function as a responsible adult, but young enough to still struggle with some young adult immaturities. I am old enough that much of the typical culture associated with youth is not appealing to me, while young enough to understand why they act like they do. I am old enough to be uninterested in wearing the fashion trends of teen and young adult culture, like colored pants and hipster glasses, but young enough to not like wearing polo shirts, either. I am old enough to put on a suit and carry out conversations with professionals, but young enough to put on an energetic and fun event for teens.
This is one of the reasons why I feel strongly qualified to deliver this message to parents, pastors, teachers, and leaders of young people. I want to help bridge the divide and equip a generation to live an extraordinary life. Let us be the first “side” to build a bridge and get to where they are. Certainly, it would be far easier if younger generations would meet us halfway, but not all will. Honestly, many do not know how to meet us halfway. But the great reward for all of your hard work is your legacy. And as you help young people find their destinies, they will help develop your legacy. What you leave behind is in front of them, and what they will one day leave behind, you will have been a part of. How all the more important then, that we step into their world and launch them out of it into a life of impact.
So, where do we start? Keep reading. It is time for us leaders to commit to a generation that doesn’t know how to commit, not only in deed, but also in heart. And it is time to do something incredible with a generation that does not know what to do.
CHAPTER ONE
THE 2,000-YEAR-OLD TEENAGER
THE CRY FOR WISDOM
When my mother got married as a young eighteen-year-old woman, she knew exactly who she wanted to be. She considered being a wife and mother the highest of all callings. With great joy, she married my father and anticipated that one day she would have children. However, my mother could not conceive for many years, and after many trips to the doctor and various treatments, it looked as though she was unable to have children. She found herself in the position that many women in biblical history faced: Sarai (Sarah), Rachel, Hannah, and more. Just as He did for those women, the Lord came through and answered the cry of a barren womb. My mother and father would soon be expecting me to come into the world.
Throughout my years growing up, my mother would consistently remind me that while I was in her womb, she prayed that I would have wisdom. “Even before salvation, I prayed for you to have wisdom,” she would say to me. “Many people don’t understand that, but I knew that if you possessed wisdom, you would make the right choices in life, including choosing Jesus.”
I’ll never forget her telling me that. As it turns out, she prayed this for all of her children, and all five of us have been blessed with wisdom, Certainly, we are not perfect, but God has graced us with insight and discipline.
We are blessed with the grace of God to have this testimony, but I believe that it all started with a mother’s prayer for her children. A prayer that moved the hands of the Holy Spirit to form us according to her faith. So what am I saying? That my life is important? That it is the result of prayer and promise? Absolutely!
DESTINED FROM THE WOMB
Judges 13 begins the story of Samson. In this story, people are weary of their enemies and cry out for a deliverer, so God responds by telling a woman that she would have a son. The following passage illustrates this:
And the Angel of the Lord appeared to the woman and said to her, “Indeed now, you are barren and have borne no children, but you shall conceive and bear a son. Now therefore, please be careful not to drink wine or similar drink, and not to eat anything unclean. For behold, you shall conceive and bear a son. And no razor shall come upon his head, for the child shall be a Nazirite to God from the womb; and he shall begin to deliver Israel out of the hand of the Philistines.”
JUDGES 13:3-5 (NKJV)
Even as God knitted Samson together, He did so knowing that He was forming him with the Nazirite calling necessary to deliver His people out of the hands of their enemies. This is the way He loves to work. When He wants to send revival, He sends deliverers in the form of babies. In addition to Samson, this has happened with many godly men and women in the Bible, such as: Moses in response to the people’s cry for a deliverer, Samuel in response to Hannah’s cry for a son who she pledged to dedicate to the Lord, John the Baptist in fulfillment of ancient prophecy, and even Jesus Himself! The same thing has happened with you and the young people you come in contact with. People prayed for a movement from God, so when He formed you, He had your purpose in mind. Before you were born, God looked at the needs of the world and heard the prayers of the saints and designed you. You were created for His pleasure, but you were also born with a mission.
YOU WERE ALWAYS MEANT TO BE
Many people confuse how they came into the world with why they came into the world. They assume that their purposes are tied to the means in which they came to be. In other words, if their births were unplanned, they view themselves as purposeless. Thus, there are countless people who have been born in a way that causes them to think they are an accident; perhaps they were the result of an affair, failed birth control, or they were born out of wedlock. The same thing happens with many adopted children, who usually come to wonder, “Why didn’t my parents want me?” and therefore, question the purpose of their births. But, your existence was not an accident. That may have been how you came into the world. But the why you came into the world is to fulfill a great purpose. God had always intended for you to be born, regardless of how it happened.
The story of Solomon gives us great insight into this truth, beginning with a promise from God to King David:
When your days are fulfilled and you rest with your fathers, I will set up your seed after you, who will come from your body, and I will establish his kingdom. He shall build a house for My name, and I will establish the throne of his kingdom forever. I will be his Father, and he shall be My son. If he commits iniquity, I will chasten him with the rod of men and with the blows of the sons of men. But My mercy shall not depart from him, as I took it from Saul, whom I removed from before you. And your house and your kingdom shall be established forever before you. Your throne shall be established forever.
2 SAMUEL 7:12-16 (NKJV)
God told David that his son would continue his dynasty. But, as we would later come to find out, David had an affair with a woman named Bathsheba. In an attempt to cover up his sin, he murdered Uriah, her husband, and took her to become his wife. They lost this baby, but later Bathsheba would give David a son—Solomon. The same Solomon who God chose to be the next king of Israel and fulfill the promise that God gave to David.
Then Solomon sat on the throne of his father David; and his kingdom was firmly established.
1 KINGS 2:12 (NKJV)
This is all staggering when you consider that Solomon was the result of a bloodline that David’s sin started. Think about it. Had David lived righteously when he saw Bathsheba, then Solomon would never have been born. This implies something wonderful about God’s character. When God chose David, He took David’s future sin into account and made his son the next king, despite the sin that led to his birth. Solomon was not the result of a wrong decision. God did what only He could do: He used the tragic failures of David to bring about the son that He intended to be born all along. So, God fulfilled the next step of his covenant with David—the promise being that his line would rule forever by turning around his biggest failure and using it to bring a king into the world.
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And having chosen them, he called them to come to him. And having called them, he gave them right standing with himself. And having given them right standing, he gave them his glory.
ROMANS 8:28-30 (NLT)
This is truly our God. Remember that He knew you in advance—meaning He saw the scope of your life and all of the terrible decisions you would make, but He still chose you. God always intended your birth to take place, no matter how you came into the world.
You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.
PSALMS 139:16 (NLT)
He takes the consequences of sin and turns it into the fruit of destiny!
You were like an abandoned wife, devastated with grief, and God welcomed you back, like a woman married young and then left,” says your God.
ISAIAH 54:6 (MSG)
THE QUESTION TO YOUR ANSWER
So, if we are each called to a great purpose, then how do we find out what that is, let alone help young people discover what they are capable of? I have yet to meet someone who has never asked the questions, “Why am I here? What is my purpose?” They’re probably the most common questions of all mankind. And if these questions are universal to all human beings, then certainly their source runs deep within humanity. It’s as if these questions were instinctive, like we were born with this wondering. You long for it like your stomach longs for food or like your body and soul long for intimacy. These questions have forced many men and women into all sorts of adventures to find their answers. They have searched through careful study and ideas, through relationships and artistic pleasures, through much expenditure that brings materialistic happiness, through the deepest union of all human relationships, through traveling many lands and terrains. Yet, this search wounds people as these searches often end in failure. Personal hurt escalates with each failed relationship, flawed idea, and failed expectation, so much so that by the time they have waded through all the aforementioned quests, hope is lost that they will find what they seek. People wander for their whole lives, trying to find the answer to their elusive question of purpose.