This book is dedicated

to

Grammarian-in-Chief

Fellow Home Hunter

Partner-in-Crime

Effin Older

© 2015 Jules Older. All rights reserved.

Published by

Older Unlimited

www.julesolder.com

ISBN 978-0-9848580-2-6

TABLE OF CONTENTS

What they’re saying about TAKE ME HOME

Why you need TAKE ME HOME

SHOW

Bad news

“Wasted space”

Plan vs. Plunge

First secret weapon

Realtor’s advice

Lovely Reita

Crossing digits

Do or die

Move in or move on

Mill Valley

Where is everybody?

Licking wounds

The idle rich

Sausalito

The San Francisco Test

How cheap is too cheap?

The Letter

Sausalito buzz

The longest day

Changing lanes

I see the light

Hug Kiss Dance

TELL

Lessons Learned

Report from the Front

FIQs (Frequently Imagined Questions)

The Nuclear Option

One More Thing …

About the Olders

Thanks a Lot, Mega-Mahalo, Merci Plenti

What they’re saying about
TAKE ME HOME

I loved it! Beautifully written, and an interesting read for anyone already in, looking in, or in for a peek at a hot rental market. On top of all that, some excellent advice and good laughs. Well worth reading.

Marybeth La Motte, producer, Red Carpet Bay Area and lucky homeowner since 1997 (OK, it’s a condo) in San Francisco

If you’re looking to rent or buy in a hot home market, YOU NEED THIS BOOK!

Graham Beattie, creator of Beattie’s Book Blog and homeowner in Auckland, New Zealand

San Francisco writers Effin and Jules Older were blindsided one day by their landlord’s decision to move back into the apartment they’d rented in the toniest part of the city for more than 11 years. Facing a deadline in one of the tightest and most competitive rental markets in the country, they found their dream apartment a few blocks away. How did they do it? The answers are in Older’s ebook, TAKE ME HOME. Find out how to make your dream-home search easier and why you shouldn’t believe all the doom and gloom you read in the real-estate press.

Robert Hollis, former San Francisco Chronicle real estate journalist and a condo owner in Hawaii and California

From a Millennial’s perspective, this book is a refreshing reminder to seek out human connections (the mailman) in addition to the various technological mediums for your housing search.

Josh Francis, architect and proud new homeowner in Lafayette, Colorado

The Olders’ first-hand experience provides valuable insight into the process of finding the right home. It is always the best advice to thoroughly do your homework before making the move.

Richard Dudum, Realtor in San Francisco

With surprising good humor, Jules Older describes his difficult but ultimately inspiring experiences when he and his wife were suddenly faced with the need to find new digs in San Francisco. After their ultimate success, he deftly turns their urban adventure into a witty narrative with sage advice for anyone faced with similar problems … anywhere in the world.

Robert W. Bone, travel guidebook guru and author of Fire Bone! A Maverick Guide to a Lifetime in Journalism

Hunting for a home/apartment? Here are wise readable lessons getting to the heart of the task, putting other advice in the shade. Good stuff—an inversion of the expected. This is the manual to change the odds in your favor.

Gerry Wingenbach, veteran house hunter in Utah who recently spent a summer in his car rather than give up his dog

As a recent first-time homebuyer, the information packed in this ebook couldn’t be more useful and accurate! The very last paragraph sums it all up: “The process probably won’t be easy or fast or entirely pleasant. You’ll go through ups and downs, emotional highs and lows. You’ll hug, fight, sulk, elate.” A great read for anyone looking to dip their toes in this wet and wild housing market!

Lindsay Lawes, registered dietitian and certified personal trainer in Colorado

TAKE ME HOME is a how-to book with a difference—well, with many major differences: It isn’t in any way banal, preachy, hopelessly impractical and unrealistic, written sloppily, cliché-ridden, pious, or mind-numbingly dull. It’s the antithesis of everything that makes it impossible for me to get beyond the first page of most how-to books before taking them to the thrift store, having first hurled them into the trashcan.

The Olders were hit for six (as we say in Old England) when they were told they had to quit their much-loved apartment in San Francisco. It was the kind of news—and just plain bad luck—that could put folks on the dark road to ruin. Jules tells the story of their search for shelter (of an equivalent, high-end standard) with economy, gusto and wit, and along with it, comes up with invaluable tips for finding a home of your own in the planet’s most desirable places.

David Kernek, writer, editor and homeowner in Bath, England

Why you need
TAKE ME HOME

NOT ONLY DO my wife and I live in San Francisco, we live in one of the most sought-after neighborhoods in San Francisco. Our apartment is owned by someone else, someone who’s been traveling the world for most of the eleven years we’ve lived here.

THIS IS THE STORY of what happened when we had to leave. And, under the ticking time bomb of a deadline, how we went about finding a new home in the priciest hood in one of the world’s most desired cities.