The inability to achieve balance in the role and relationship between the genders has sparked off all sorts of extremes. At this very moment in time, mankind struggles to find a definition for marriage and the family. The more developed cultures are evolving an ideology of gender independence and at the same time, the belief that genders are identical in role, responsibility and propensity. This has resulted in an unprecedented rise in societal and personal dysfunction and a disillusioned generation. The more underdeveloped cultures, however, bury their head in the traditions and unproductive concepts that have trailed generations and kept them in poverty and ignorance. Is there balance somewhere? What is the truth in the midst of all of this confusion? What is the opinion of the Maker, the One who made them male and female in the first place? Does God have a solution to this quest for balance in marriage and relationships.
The Voice of One Ltd.
Published by:
The Voice Of One Ltd.
E-Mail: bishopbobalonge@gmail.com
Telephone: +234 0700 bishopbob
www.bishopbobalonge.com
Copyright © 2014 by Francis Akinboboye Alonge
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be
reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in
any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical,
photocopying, recording, or other wise, without the prior
written consent of the publisher.
All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise stated, are from
the King James Version; Authorized King James Version or
The New King James Version.
ISBN: 9781483521435
This book is firstly dedicated to my Father, my Saviour
and my Friend.
This book is also dedicated to my family:
Adeteju Omorinre Alonge, your love has nurtured me
and brought me to this point. Only our God can truly
reward you but you can be sure that I too shall try.
Sowa, Beulah and Zoe …you are so special. We could
not have asked for better children.
The Covenant Assembly Mission Family…
thank you for choosing us. The options were many but
we were the choice.
Deep appreciation goes to Martha King, Lara Olugbemi,
Francis King, Success Oyedele, Anne Alonge, Terfa
Addingi, Gloria Odiri and others, who laboured over
this manuscript with my wife and I.
The Thesis
Dedication
Acknowledgments
Foreword
Table of Contents
Foreword
PART ONE
INTRODUCTION
What Will You Call Her?
Chapter 1
The Power of Her Name
Chapter 2
The Master's Plan
Chapter 3
Counterpart Not Duplicates
Chapter 4
She Has Got Me Covered
Chapter 5
Sex: The Seal of The Covenant
Chapter 6
The Mystery of The Fifth Year
Chapter 7
Woman or Eve
PART TWO
Chapter 8
My Encounter With Sally
Chapter 9
A Woman Can Choose Her Own Name
Chapter 10
Receive It!
Chapter 11
Joint Heirs of Destiny
Chapter 12
You Can Influence What Your Husband Will Call You
Chapter 13
Celebrate Him
Epilogue
By Teju Alonge
This book was initially self published using the title 'What Will You Call Her' about 10 years ago. The book has been a blessing to my life and to everyone that has read it. It has been in print since then but in very limited circulation for these years.
We felt that it was needful to make it into a workbook so that couples, individuals and groups can be challenged to discuss, think about and build upon what they have read and also be able to write down their thoughts as they read it. This we believe, enhances understanding and will ensure that the book is more than a book that people merely like to read but also a book that changes lives in a decisive way.
My husband and I run a School of Marriage and this book is one of its primary resource materials for both men and women to use.
As you go through, the book, please feel free to discuss and answer the questions, whether as individuals or in a group. Please build upon the ideas expressed here and discover your own unique solutions and approach that will help your marriage or relationship blossom to become all that God intended it to be.
Adeteju Bob Alonge
THE WEDDING SCENE
As I rose up to take the podium and conduct the ceremony, I looked at the couple. They were two people who were obviously in love with one another and desired to spend the rest of their lives with each other. In my heart I asked the question, "Is that all it takes to have a good marriage?"
Is love all it takes to make a good marriage?
I looked at the congregation looking on with great anticipation at what was about to happen. Many of them were family and friends who would have some measure of influence upon what this new home will turn out to be. Some of them, however, would view the occasion as another societal obligation, an opportunity to frolic and display the latest additions to their wardrobes. I wondered how many of them actually understood the implications of what was about to take place. I then looked at the groom. The responsibility of ensuring that this ceremony would translate into a lifetime of joy and blessing lay squarely upon his shoulders. Whatever would become of this union was predicated upon his own willingness to yield to the counsel of God. I realised that whatever his wife would turn out to be, as their relationship developed was dependent on his own input into her life. A question came up in my mind as I looked at him and I then realised that it would be a good theme for the sermon that I was about to deliver at the occasion.
WHAT WILL YOU CALL HER?
After I was through with the initial protocol of prayer and greetings, I introduced my sermon by pointing at the bridegroom and I asked, "What will you call her?"
This question has become the theme of this portion of this book. Before I dive into the discourse, I would like to make my aspiration very clear. Apart from asking you this very serious question, I would also like to challenge you to pursue a state of balance in your marriage.
THE CULTURES OF THE WORLD
The cultures of this world are extremely diverse. The differences in beliefs, methodology, preferences and even our basic sociology are profuse. As copious as our disparity may be, one thing can be seen in every culture. It has been present through many generations of human history. It has been persistent and prevalent in every human civilization. It has remained undaunted by time, geography or technology. Although, it finds peculiar manifestations in each culture, some being more obvious than others, it is a universal predicament. I am referring to the domination and suppression of women.
This inability to achieve balance in the role and relationship between the genders has sparked off all sorts of extremes. At this very moment in time, mankind struggles to find a definition for marriage and the family. The more developed cultures are evolving an ideology of gender independence and at the same time, the belief that genders are identical in role, responsibility and propensity. This has resulted in an unprecedented rise in societal and personal dysfunction and a disillusioned generation. The more underdeveloped cultures, however, bury their head in the traditions and unproductive concepts that have trailed generations and kept them in poverty and ignorance.
Is there balance somewhere? What is the truth in the midst of all of this confusion? What is the opinion of the Maker, the One who made them male and female in the first place? Does God have a solution to this quest?
QUESTIONS
ii. How many of these marriages started off with a glorious wedding ceremony?
Genesis 2:22-23