“Once I finished 5 Minutes to Stress Relief I wanted to read it again; it was such a breath of fresh air. It encouraged me to re-evaluate the significance and severity of my personal stresses in relation to the big picture and forever changed my perspective. I was reminded that in the grand scheme of life, the worries that weigh me down are extremely insignificant and that realization alone provides relief! This is a perfect book to have on your desk at the office for quick encouragement and practical tips when you feel the stress knocking on your door.”
—Cindy Maguire, account director,
Leo Burnett Advertising, Chicago
“WOW… 5 Minutes to Stress Relief has some real ‘eye openers.’ While prompting us to really think about what is important in this lifetime, it also provides guidance on how to appreciate everything we are. Examples were easy to relate to and the valuable message(s) are applicable to both men and women, whether you’re part of the “corporate world” or not.”
—Barbara Erbacher, senior executive assistant,
Ball Aerospace & Technologies Corp.
“As an opera singer whose work has included jazz, Broadway and modern music performances, coping with the mega stress associated with living and auditioning in NYC is a daily struggle. Lauren is my stress relief guru. Many of the quick techniques she teaches and shares in 5 Minutes to Stress Relief eliminate fear and self-doubt which has led to some of the best performances of my life! EFT is crazy simple and it works on the spot. Since I started applying the techniques Lauren taught me I have been engaged and offered a re-engagement with Opéra de Toulon in Southern France, Sportin’ Life in Gershwin’s Porgy and Bess with the Virginia Opera, concert appearances with the Buck Hill-Skytop Music Festival, and an invitation to appear in the NYC 75th Anniversary Concert to honor Porgy and Bess all in one year! Thank you Lauren for reminding me that ALL things are possible even doing life without stressing out!”
—Lawrence Craig, Opera Singer/Actor
“My life is full of constant demands and pressures, on the work front as managing partner of a PR firm and as a mother of three young kids. I have very little time to myself so carving out stress-free moments in my day is critical. I utilize Lauren’s stress relieving techniques found in 5 Minutes to Stress Relief daily to reduce the anxiety in my life. It helps me work through problems and find resolution, which in turn lowers my stress. For example, during the 2010 mid-term elections I worked with the media for Colorado’s United States Senate race—the most heated race in the country.”
—Amy Jewett, CEO Real PR
“As an actor and standup comic living in NYC, mega stress is a daily struggle. Fear of being judged and not getting a laugh or certain acting part can be overwhelming. I have literally called Lauren from the bathroom before a big performance and asked this stress relief goddess to help me believe in myself again and stop stressing myself out! She has given me quick and easy techniques to overcome my fears and has helped me give the best performances of my life—ironically by letting go. Since she taught me EFT, which is a technique found in 5 Minutes to Stress Relief, I have booked two national spots on ABC’s What Would You Do? (Featured on Good Morning America) a gig at Caroline’s on Broadway, and a national commercial all in one year! I can’t thank her enough!”
—Carla Johnston,screen writer/actress
“I’ve travelled the world documenting individuals who have overcome physical and emotional issues using faith, prayer, and energy medicine. Lauren is not only a survivor, but she has the gift of knowing what others will experience on their own healing journeys and how to support them. Her insights found in 5 Minutes to Stress Relief along with her advice and compassion are beautiful to witness and are a standout in the work I am doing to profile individuals like her. Lauren Miller is destined to become a champion for the power of energy medicine to help us all find our own ability to heal. If one needs an answer to why certain people are challenged with devastating illnesses or events in their lives, Lauren provides one very obvious and joyous answer—she offers us a model for hope.”
—Eric Hurre, documentary film producer
How to Release Fear, Worry, and Doubt…Instantly
All rights reserved, including without limitation the right to reproduce this ebook or any portion thereof in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of the publisher.
Copyright © 2013 by Lauren E. Miller
Edited by Gina Talucci
Cover design by Joanna Williams Designs
978-1-5040-2029-9
The Career Press, Inc.
220 West Parkway, Unit 12
Pompton Plains, NJ 07444
www.careerpress.com
Distributed by Open Road Integrated Media, Inc.
345 Hudson Street
New York, NY 10014
www.openroadmedia.com
Dedication
To my beautiful friend Juney June, who chose to play the infinite game of life versus the finite game, who knew what was essential and non-essential.
Sweet Juney, you laughed and sang on earth all the way up to the moment your heart stopped beating on earth and began to beat in the heavenly realms. Thank you for teaching me how to move through fear back to God again and again and again. For reminding me that God has given me the ability to laugh, love, and sing no matter what surrounds me. I will carry the strength of your positive perspectives within my heart and out into the world… until we meet face to face once again.
Medical Disclaimer
Any information found within 5 Minutes to Stress Relief is for general educational and informational purposes only. Such information is not intended or otherwise implied to be medical advice. Understand that such information is by no means complete or exhaustive and that, as a result, such information does not encompass all conditions, disorders, health-related issues, or respective treatments.
You should always consult your physician or health care provider to determine the appropriateness of this information for your own situation, medical condition, or treatment plan.
Any information contained in 5 Minutes to Stress Relief, including, but not limited to, product descriptions and customer testimonials, should not be used for the diagnosis and treatment of any health issue or for the prescription of any medication or treatment.
This information is based upon personal experience and is not a substitute for obtaining professional medical advice. You should always consult your physician or other healthcare provider before changing your diet or starting an exercise program.
The author is not liable for the reader’s reliance on any information contained within 5 Minutes to Stress Relief. In no event shall the author be liable for direct, indirect, consequential, special, exemplary, or other damages related to the use of the information contained within the book entitled 5 Minutes to Stress Relief.
Foreword by Les Brown
Preface
Introduction
Don’t Stress Out When You Read This Stress Relief Manual!
Chapter 1
How Do You Manifest Your Stress?
Chapter 2
What’s Really Going on Behind All of the Stress?
Chapter 3
Messages We Get Growing Up
Chapter 4
Attachment and Happiness
Chapter 5
Your Inner List for Love and Acceptance
Chapter 6
Mental Muck Fuels the Procrastination Rut
Chapter 7
When Priorities Are Clear, Decisions Are Easy
Chapter 8
Three Essential Ingredients for a Stress-Free Environment
Chapter 9
Whatever You Choose to Focus on Grows Bigger
Chapter 10
Making the Shift
Chapter 11
A Proverb That Can Save Your Life
Chapter 12
Getting Your Energy Behind the Shift: Emotional Freedom Techniques
Chapter 13
Quick Stress Relief Tips That You Can Do in Less Than Five Minutes!
Chapter 14
Self-Appreciation Notebook
Chapter 15
The Power of Gratitude and Random Acts of Kindness
Conclusion
A Moment of Peace
Notes
Index
About the Author
Because of unemployment, foreclosures, and the volatile economic times in which we live, more people are feeling overwhelmed, hopeless, and stressed out. 5 Minutes to Stress Relief provides you with tried and proven methods that will give you the mindset and key strategies that will anchor your mind, calm your spirit, and connect you with your higher self. Lauren Miller—author, dynamic speaker, media stress expert, and seminar facilitator—shares her life-saving techniques that will give you the mental, emotional, and spiritual resiliency to handle everything that life throws at you.
During my second and final battle with cancer, Lauren taught me the value of living my life from a place of power by surrendering and releasing. Studies show that stress is wreaking havoc on our relationships and on our jobs, and most importantly robbing us from our health and peace of mind.
This book is full of stress-relieving strategies that you can use in your daily life at home, in traffic, on the job, or on the run. Lauren Miller’s methods work if you work it. She is a master at teaching you how to keep stress in check.
—Les Brown
Mrs. Mamie Brown’s Baby Boy
Author, speaker, and speech coach
God Bless the Day You Were Born
Throughout the years I’ve learned firsthand as I walked through two of life’s top stressors at the same time, advanced cancer and divorce, that my choice of focus makes all the difference in the outcome. As you read through these pages, the power contained in your choice of focus and desired outcomes will easily expand. Stress is simply a signal within the body offering the opportunity to identify and adjust your perception of any situation. It is my belief that the three main fuels of stress are: fear, worry, and doubt.
I am confident that my conscious choice to choose God, life, and love over fear, worry, and doubt, along with what the white coats told me, played a major role in my complete healing and restoration.
Going through the experience of losing any familiar recognition of my physical appearance as I lost my hair and breasts during the two years of treatment offered me an expansive opportunity to embrace the source of my true identity. My son, who was 10 years old at the time of the cancer diagnosis, reminded me of this opportunity when he saw me weeping over the loss of my hair as he said, “Mom, don’t cry. Your soul still has hair.” One small piece of essential information resulted in a complete shift in perspective.
I believe that one of the greatest positions of empowerment lies in your conscious choice to stay awake at the gate of your thoughts. A thought is an objective observation of life taken in through your five senses until you label it as a threat. As soon as you label the thought as threatening to your safety (spiritually, emotionally, or physically) stress seeps in and begins to have its way within your body. Your body listens very closely to what you think down to the cellular level, and you will learn more about the depth of this reality within the pages of this book.
It is my intention for the insights contained within these pages that you, the reader, emerge knowing specific stress relief skills, perceptions, and techniques that you can apply immediately to your life to expand your faith, sense of purpose, inner calm, clear focus, motivation, and solution-based thinking.
Knowing that stress walks hand in hand with disease, I am dedicated to continual education and practice in the areas of stress and anxiety relief. I often feel that I am still wearing this earth suit for the sole purpose of guiding people back to their fullest God-given natural state of being: faith-filled, joyful, peaceful, and creative and love-infused. May it be the case for you as you read through the book.
“Dear God increase my love for your people so
that my priorities align with my divinity.”
The goal of this book is to create a “stress-free” stress relief manual, which I have designed in a simple, easy-to-understand format. This book will provide optimal “Grab-and-Go” moments to guide individuals and entire corporations into the experience of stress-free living on the job and in life.
The information in this book honors the uniqueness of every human being. Take what works for you to create your own stress relief program. After all, no one knows better than you do what gives you a sense of empowerment and inner peace. Be present to what inspires you as you read. Take what you connect with—your “a-ha” moment—and act on it.
Try one or two different techniques every couple of days, such as a spontaneous movement moment (Chapter 13) in an elevator, or erase and replace (Chapter 8).
People gravitate toward that which is familiar to them in life. If you are used to the energy of victimization, which manifests in complaining and focusing on what is not working out, that’s where you will hang out. When you choose to move into the “unfamiliar,” which might include shifting your focus to what is working out for you and taking full responsibility for your life, be patient with yourself and the process. It takes time and commitment to make the shift, so perhaps start with a month of daily practice on the techniques that work for you and go from there.
An abundance of different stress relief techniques and practices are included in this book. Each has proven success, and you can do many of them in less than five minutes to release stress. I present each technique and practice with simple explanations so the reader can start applying them today. Remember: Be creative and playful. Humor has a direct effect on our cellular function and overall health, so don’t take these exercises too seriously when trying them for the first time.
To your peace and joy,
Lauren E. Miller
Do any of the following statements sound familiar? According to the American Psychological Association:
~ Three-quarters of Americans experience symptoms related to stress in a given month, including:
~ 77% who experience physical symptoms.
~ 73% who experience psychological symptoms.
~ One-third of Americans feel they are living with extreme stress.
~ About one-half of Americans (48%) feel that their stress has increased in the past five years.
~ Money and work are the leading causes of stress (mentioned by 75% of Americans).
~ Physical symptoms of stress include:
~ Fatigue (51%).
~ Headache (44%).
~ Upset stomach (34%).
~ Muscle tension (30%).
~ Change in appetite (23%).
~ Teeth grinding (17%).
~ Change in sex drive (15%).
~ Dizziness (13%).
~ Psychological symptoms of stress include:
~ Irritability or anger (50%).
~ Nervousness (45%).
~ Lack of energy (45%).
~ Feeling as though you could cry (35%).
~ Stress impacts lives in dramatic ways:
~ About one-half of Americans say that stress has a negative impact on both their personal and professional lives.
~ About one-third (31%) of employed adults have difficulty managing work and family responsibilities.
~ More than one-third (35%) of employed adults cite jobs interfering with their family or personal time as a significant source of stress.
~ Stress causes more than half of Americans (54%) to fight with people close to them.
~ One in four people report that they have been alienated from a friend or family member because of stress.
~ 8% of Americans connect stress to divorce or separation.1
~ Workplace stress costs more than $300 billion each year in healthcare, missed work, and stress reduction.2
~ Workers who report that they are stressed incur healthcare costs that are 46% higher, or an average of $600 more per person, than non-stressed employees.3
Corporate stress is one of the most common forms of stress in our society. Public speaking, job security, lateral communication, absenteeism, meetings, time crunch/deadlines, performance reviews, quotas, budgets, and phobias of crowds, closed spaces (elevators), and flying are among the top triggers of corporate stress.
Stress is simply a signal within your body that gives you the opportunity to identify and adjust your perception of any situation. You are not a victim to life unless you choose to be, and many people who suffer from workplace stress fall into that category.
Practice being the observer of your life instead of the reactor. Practice becoming a curious human being about everything that unfolds before you. When you play the part of watcher, you begin to remember that you have time to consider how you want to respond. Because we live in such a fast-paced society, we often fall victim to time. Carve out moments between what happens before you and your desired response to it. Practice slowing time down. By thinking before you react, you choose how you want to form your life.
Perhaps you have an old pattern of thinking that says, “I need to move quickly and respond instantly in order to achieve or reach my goals.” However, if you created that program, you are in a position to change it to fit the kind of life you desire to create.
Ask yourself, “Am I living at a pace of life that lends itself to moments of inner peace?” If the answer is no, I invite you to reconsider the price you may pay with regard to your physical well-being. As Proverbs 13:30 says so brilliantly: “A heart at peace gives life to the body.”
I am speaking from personal experience. As a Type A personality I burned the candle at both ends, and my body could not keep up. Because I did not take the time to align myself spiritually, emotionally, and physically, the random cancer cells had their way with me.
Infuse your days with moments of stillness. Throughout history, mankind has been able to encounter peace in the presence of stillness. This book will show you how to take back your ability to slow down time and realign yourself with what you value most.
What would you dare to do in life if you knew you could not fail?
—Unknown
When experiencing any stress in this life, it is beneficial to understand the beliefs you hold behind your stress. You form your choices by your thoughts; you form your life by your choices. It is also useful to explore the meaning behind the emotions and the words you use to describe the stress in your life.
Complete this sentence and write your response:
I feel stressed out when:
What causes stress in your life?
~ Fear of failure?
~ Unmet expectations?
~ Fear of not doing a good job and therefore fear of judgment?
~ Fear that you will not be able to handle the situation?
~ Fear that you are not enough, just as you are?
What is stress? If you look up the word in the dictionary, stress is a force that strains (for example, creates a great demand on one’s emotions and resources) or deforms. You often give away the power to define whom you are to people, events, and circumstances in your life, thereby creating endless opportunities for stress.
Have you ever considered the possibility that you are complete, apart from any event or person in your life? How would that affect your daily stress level?
What emotions are behind your stress? Here are some to consider:
~ Fear.
~ Embarrassment.
~ Vulnerability.
~ Invalidation.
~ Anger.
~ Worry.
~ Doubt.
~ Guilt.
~ Shame.
Actually, stress is just the icing on the cake. The cake is the main emotion behind the stress, often disguised by a physical ailment (for example, back pain, headache, or neck pain). You hide your true emotions in the guise of physical pain, which is actually the physical expression of your emotional pain.
You often suppress your true emotions because you have grown up receiving messages such as: “Don’t think,” “don’t feel,” or “don’t talk.” Most emotional and physical problems are due to unresolved physical events that happened in your lifetime.
A “holograph” is a document written entirely in the handwriting of the person whose signature it bears. You take holographic pictures of the events in your life and then give those frozen pictures permission to define you.
All of these timeless holographs make up the matrix of your self-image. When one of your holographs is triggered (or downloaded), you explode. Afterward, you wonder, “Why did I overreact like that?” You are responding to the event at hand as if you were the age and emotional state when that holograph took place.
For example, you have a holograph from your childhood where your coach told you that you were uncoordinated and clumsy. Then, 20 years later as an adult, you are at a team-building event for work. You trip, a coworker laughingly jokes about your mishap, and you lose your temper. Your emotional response and anxiety are linked directly to that frozen moment from your past and not to the response of your coworker.
I have presented different ways to release stress in this book, so don’t stress out if the concept of holographs confuses you. It’s not necessary to understand the concept in order to release them.
If you take time to observe very young children, you will see that, by nature, they do not even know what stress is. Why? They do not have all of the disconnects and blocks in their body’s energy system that you have created throughout your lifetime (because of your past pain in life) in order to, from your perception, survive.
When an emotion comes up in young children, it simply comes out. They continue on their way, remaining acutely present to the events at hand as well as honoring and accepting whatever emotion comes up without judgments. They don’t try to analyze, interpret, or conclude as they experience life; they just experience life as it is in that moment.
As we get older and receive negative feedback on certain emotions that we freely express as children, we begin to experience stress or pressure to withhold our authentic self for fear of judgment. As adults, we forget that life is about experiences. Your emotions are meant to be experienced, not defined. You have allowed others to define your emotional state as good or bad, and acceptable or unacceptable, and you have built your sense of self-worth around other people’s opinions of you.
Stress comes when you deny yourself the experience of your authentic feelings for fear of judgment. When you reconnect with your feelings and emotional state without judgment, you free yourself to love and accept all that you are, just as you are, in spite of any circumstance in life.
Behind every experience of anger is a fear. The next time you feel angry, ask yourself, “What if I fail?” Know that your definition of failure flows directly from your belief system (as explored in Chapter 3).
When we worry about what other people will think, we end up becoming our own publicist and exhaust ourselves by protecting our reputation. We stress out doing daily damage control when we could be putting that energy toward learning, growing, and creating solutions.
The German word for worry means “to strangle” and the Greek word for worry means “to divide the mind.” The word doubt means to be uncertain about something. Most of the time, stress is felt when you doubt yourself and your ability to handle a situation. Jesus spoke about the craze of worry in life: “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” (Matthew 6:27).
As you will discover later in Chapter 10, you can reframe any negative statement into a positive one.
For example, you can reframe “I can’t do that!” with “I just don’t know how yet,” or “God, guide me through this experience of self-doubt back into remembering the power that dwells within me to move mountains.” This practice will help you tune into available options for solution-based outcomes.
When you wake up and realize that this world is full of opportunities for learning and growth, you will be able to connect with creative solutions to any situation in life.
You are the main judge of yourself. Forgiveness and a willingness to seek out the lessons contained in each experience on Earth are essential in order for creative thought and action to flourish within you.