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THE LITTLE BOOK OF IRISH JOKES

With research by Agatha Russell

Illustrations © Shutterstock

No part of this book may be reproduced by any means, nor transmitted, nor translated into a machine language, without the written permission of the publishers.

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Summersdale Publishers Ltd

46 West Street

Chichester

West Sussex

PO19 1RP

www.summersdale.com

eISBN: 978-1-78372-868-8

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CONTENTS

Title page
The Little Book of Irish Jokes

THERE ARE ONLY TWO TYPES OF PEOPLE IN THE WORLD.

THE IRISH...
AND THOSE WHO WISH THEY WERE.

An ice-cream seller from Cork was found on the floor of his van, covered in pink sprinkles. They say he topped himself.

'I've often thought about drowning my troubles,' said Colin, 'but my wife won't get in the sea with me.'

Two Irishmen saw a sign that said 'Tree fellers wanted'. The first said to the second, 'If Mick were with us, we'd have got the job!'

Owen went to buy a wristwatch. The man in the shop asked him, 'Analogue?' He said, 'No, just the watch, thanks.'

Patrick got to work late. His boss raised his voice, 'You should have been here at 8.30!'

'Why, what happened at 8.30?'

Danny took karate lessons so he could kill a man with his bare feet. Unfortunately, on his way home one night he was mugged before he could get his shoes and socks off.

Coleen: My grandmother started walking three miles a day when she was sixty.

Bridget: Well it's good to stay fit at her age.