‘An inspiring guide to one thing we all want in our lives, a stronger sense of aliveness, purpose and fulfilment.’

Alex Rossi, TV Correspondent

‘Andro has the unique experience of working with thousands of the most highly paid, valued and productive people in the world. Her insights are entirely unique given this perspective. If you've ever dreamed about what you would learn if only you could pick the brains of hyper-resourceful leaders, this book is a very close second.’

Daniel Priestly, Entrepreneur, Speaker and Bestselling Author of Entrepreneur Revolution

‘How would you feel if today was the last day of your life? If you'd like to be capable of answering “fulfilled, happy and contented”, read this book.’

Andy Maslen, Author

‘Motivate Yourself is just like Andro Donovan's consulting (only much less expensive!): very direct, tough, relevant and immediately useful. It gives us tools to discard the damaging and unhelpful thoughts we have within us and to magnify the empowering and liberating ones. Real wisdom here, reading this book is a fantastic investment of time and energy.’

Chairman, Director and Founder Andrew Grene Foundation; Philanthropist

‘If you find yourself reflecting on the life you are leading, if you are wanting to create a life with purpose and more meaning, if you simply want to sense check your feelings to better plan your drive to reach self-fulfilment, this is the book for you.’

Lara Morgan, Investor and Entrepreneur

‘For all those leaders who've spent years motivating and inspiring others, this book provides a refreshing reminder that happiness and fulfilment come when you invest in your greatest asset: you. An easy read with lots of practical advice on how to be a better you.’

Jennifer Janson, Author, The Reputation Playbook; Managing Director, Six Degrees

‘Motivate Yourself is the handbook for action and change, it makes you get up and do it … a must for business men and women, with a warning that it delivers a powerful impact on your life!’

Sally Rustom, Founder and COO of Customer Consulting Ltd

This edition first published 2016

© 2016 Andro Donovan

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A dedication to my children.
May this book help you to connect to
your own wisdom and love.

This is it

Wherever you are in your life right now, you may have arrived at the point where you are asking yourself: Is this it?

When you read that statement ‘This is it’ where are you putting the emphasis?

• This is it? – could mean you are questioning the quality of your life.
• This is it – could mean you realize there is no time like the present and life is for living right now.
• This is it – could mean you are celebrating a new-found experience.

Where you put the emphasis will reflect how you feel about your life right now!

So many people I meet have a diminished perspective of who they are and what they are capable of. They often completely underestimate what is possible for them in their lives.

In this book, I will be introducing you to tools that have helped hundreds of people break through their limitations and release their true potential.

I have had the privilege of working with thousands of people in over 20 countries; and after 25 years of experience, I can safely say that people fall into roughly speaking five categories. See if you can find yourself in one of the following:

1. You know what you want but are waiting for some future circumstances to happen before you can feel happy and fulfilled.
2. You know what you would like but do not feel you have the ability, confidence or resources to achieve it.
3. You don't know what you want but do know what you don't want.
4. You have lost sight of what's possible and have disengaged and resigned yourself to mediocrity.
5. You know what you want and are going for it but are often hampered by negative thoughts that inhibit your progress or journey.

Whichever category you find yourself in, this book will help you to move forward in a more positive and dynamic way.

So, ask yourself again: ‘Why did I pick up this book?’ There are a number of reasons and personal circumstances that may have prompted you to seek more motivation, meaning, purpose and fulfilment, so let's spend a little bit of time examining the plethora of reasons that may have prompted you to pick up this book.

• You may have reached a plateau in your life, and you are on a quest for more motivation and drive.
• You may be questioning the meaning of your life and your sense of fulfilment and purpose.
• Perhaps you have started a new job, or you are looking for your first job; maybe you have been made redundant and are having to take a long close look at what you want to do next.
• Perhaps your children have finally flown the nest and you are left with bags more time than you originally had as the lion's share of your life has been focused on looking after your family; now you finally have some time for yourself.
• Perhaps a major event may has caused you to take a harder, more analytical, view of your life.
• You may be simply looking for a boost of energy and drive so that you can start the next phase of your life in a more purposeful way.

Whatever circumstances you find yourself in, this book has the tools to help you motivate yourself, find meaning and discover your purpose, get a greater sense of fulfilment which will accelerate through to the next exciting stage of your life's adventure.

Together, we are going to go on a journey, and we will be travelling through different emotional landscapes until you arrive at a point where you feel ready to get motivated, engaged and purposeful in your life.

All you need to travel is this book and your journal.

Everything starts with a decisIon

Transforming your life is not time related. It starts with a decision and a strong yearning and desire to have it be different, and then follows through with some radical actions.

Many people lack confidence, motivation, or are lost with no clear direction meaning or purpose. They are oblivious to what they are truly capable of. They are often underestimating what is possible for them in their lives.

It may be that they have no job, or it may be that they are a top level CEO; it does not matter where they are or who they are if they are not happy and fulfilled – if they don't experience a strong sense of purpose on some level, their life does not work.

Where they live in the privacy of their own head is what needs to be surfaced and examined.

Once again, ask yourself: Why did you pick up this book? Perhaps part of you is not really satisfied, but you don't dare admit it – not even to yourself – for fear of invalidating your life to date.

Sure you have made some great decisions – after all, you may on the surface have a successful life. You have the luxury to provide the best things that money can buy for your children and family, but still there is something missing.

Part of getting to the answer of some of these deep questions is examining your purpose. It is vital to reconnect to the energy force and your values.

Everyone has values but are not necessarily conscious of them.

Becoming conscious of your values is an essential part of redirecting your focus, and we will be discussing this in much more depth in the first section of the book.

It is my experience that once individuals get a glimpse of what their life could be like, it's like a drug.

Then begins the quest of creating a life where they experience themselves as more fully engaged and expressed.

We race through our lives never pausing to consider who we really are and, more importantly, who we really want to be expressing.

Before I became a facilitator, my career began as an English Literature teacher when I taught in some of the roughest and toughest areas of London.

Here I would meet many teenagers, some of them coming from difficult homes, and I learned very quickly that the first lesson they had to learn was to believe in themselves. I believed that as their teacher I had a responsibility to get them to where they felt confident and strong.

Unfortunately, they had had years of being told:

• you are no good
• you are worthless
• you are bad
• you will never amount to anything.

The difficult ones would end up in ‘sin bins’ (classrooms manned by strict teachers where the pupil was not allowed to talk or leave the room for the whole day).

Others would be in exclusion units. I realized early on that while the school and teachers felt they were helping, all they were actually doing was supporting the body of evidence these children were gathering about themselves –‘I am not good enough, and I am not worthy'.

Getting these pupils to believe in themselves really paid off because, under the hard shell, they were just young people who had been let down and were disillusioned.

Does any of this sound familiar? My work as a facilitator focuses on getting people to stand back and challenge some of their limiting beliefs about what is possible for them. They may have inherited these beliefs from their home life, school life, classroom or cultural background.

However they have acquired these beliefs, they become accustomed to thinking of themselves as smaller than their problems, as victims of circumstance, and generally end up blaming others for their situation or for not having what they want in life. In this paradigm, we are all powerless to effect any change.

‘I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.’

Jimmy Dean

The big challenge is to get back in touch with what we value, what lights us up, what motivates us in life.

Once this is achieved, we can begin to take a fresh look at every area of our life. We can stand in a place of possibility and choice rather than resignation.

It is my experience that once individuals get a glimpse of who they could be, they become passionate about creating a life where they experience themselves as more fully engaged and expressed.

The innocence of children

As children we start out as positive, wide-eyed beings, willing to explore and get things wrong. At this early stage we do not have labels for these experiences, we are not preoccupied with success and failure, we just have experiences from which we learn.

Young children can drop an object from a table over and over again and find the whole process fascinating. Sooner or later the adults in our lives intervene and give us their view of the world. Eventually, we begin to adapt to other people's view of the world and how they view us.

We become preoccupied with seeking approval, conforming or rebelling. Expressing ourselves authentically and dropping the armour-plated coating we have developed to shield us from external criticism, becomes one of our biggest challenges.

Living in the gap

• Are you living ‘in the gap’ between where you are now and where you want to be?
• Do you yearn to do great things, but ultimately remain in your comfort zone arguing for your limitations?
• Does the experience of fulfilment remain just out of reach, unrequited, like the mythological lovers portrayed in frescos – always chasing the object of their affections but never quite catching them?
• Do you keep yourself stuck by holding on to pain?
• Do you keep part of you hidden from view for fear of being judged, misunderstood or rejected?

I come across people all the time who are channelling too much energy into stuff that is not ultimately giving them a sense of satisfaction and fulfilment. They have become caught up in the rat race or are shackled with golden handcuffs in a job that pays well but to which they have sold out for a pension; most importantly they do not experience choice, what they do experience is ‘having to’.

The best things in life are free but are only available to anyone who has the intention, desire and vision to see beyond their limitations and present circumstances.

‘Your present circumstances don't determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start.’

Nido Qubein

The outcome you can expect

Do you want your life to be a manifestation of your deepest values, a life where you get to choose consciously where and who you spend your time with?

A life of choice, a life where you are in the driver's seat and you are the author of your universe?

Going through the step-by-step process outlined in this book, you will begin to create clarity and vision for your own life.

‘An unexamined life is not worth living.’

Throughout this book, you will be getting opportunities to do precisely this. To re-examine some of your decisions and choices with a view to dismantling old, outdated beliefs, negative self-talk and entrenched mindsets that have rendered you powerless.

In 2013, a fascinating study was performed by Bronnie Ware – a nurse in a terminal palliative care unit.

She decided to poll her patients in their last days in the hope of uncovering any regrets so others might learn. These were her findings:

‘The regrets touch upon being more genuine, not working so hard, expressing one's true feelings, staying in touch with friends and finding more joy in life.’

Bronnie Ware, author of The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying (Hay House)¹

My experience aligns with this beautifully, I have sprinkled the book with case studies of people I have worked with who have had similar regrets. Luckily they are not on their deathbed, but they have had a wake up call in their life and are now fully focused on redressing the balance. These regrets are summarized as follows – can you identify with any of them?

1. Not having the courage to live a life true to yourself and instead living the life others expect of you.

   Are you living your dreams and honouring your dearest values?

   Are you following your heart or are you living a life to fulfil someone else's dream or to keep their approval? You have the freedom today to choose a different way to live your life. Use this book and the methods to help you journal your way to a better life.

2. Neglecting those closest to you or taking them for granted.

   Do you have a spouse and family you are neglecting for the sake of your work? When was the last time you put your kids to bed and read them a bedtime story? Our children are only children for a very short time, are you making memories you can all share today or are you waiting for a time when you are not so busy? ‘Time waits for no man’ and neither do your children, don't throw away their youth.

3. Not having the courage to express your feelings. Are you suppressing your feelings in order to keep peace with others? Are you hiding your true light behind a bushel, never expressing yourself truthfully for fear of offending or causing upset? Are you taking every opportunity to be up to date with your loved ones and friends or are you harbouring bitterness and resentments? Be careful, for what we hold on to holds us back.
4. Failure to stay in touch with supporting friends and peers. Friendships are special and take time and investment to nurture and develop. Good friends should never be taken for granted, staying in touch and keeping the channels open will serve you particularly in the tricky times when you need a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on. Friends celebrate your successes and commiserate with you when times get tough. Never underestimate the value they bring to your life. No man is an island.

5. Not allowing myself to be happier.

   Happiness is a state of mind and a choice; if we consistently choose to see the glass half empty and moan about what is not great in our life, we blind ourselves to what miracles are happening around us every day. The kindnesses people show us, the beautiful scenery, sunsets, seascapes, forests we can see. When we stop being grateful for our health, family and loved ones we deny others and ourselves the opportunity to express joy and happiness. This is not something we should only leave for Christmas; we should do every day of our lives. Beware of getting stuck in a habitual way of expressing yourself. Don't be scared to show your emotions, stop pretending that you are OK with things as they are and if you are not happy, change it.

Don't wait for a life-threatening disease or a deathbed moment to get your insight, start NOW.

As I said, it's your decision, but using the tools in this book to give you the insights, and then applying what you learn, will help you to make that change. My desired outcome for you is that at the end of this journey I will guide you through you will arrive at a new stage and will be stating one of the following:

• My priorities have completely changed.
• I now feel I can really follow my hopes and dreams.
• I want to focus on happiness.
• I want to express my true self.
• I am ready to follow my dreams.
• I have a new sense of meaning and purpose.

This book is a distillation of years of experience, seminars I have run and attended, books I have read and amazing people I have learned from on my path.

I want you to enjoy this book, and also be able to use it to motivate yourself, connect to your purpose, and get what you really want out of life.

Grab your journal. Let's get started.