reading

First published in 2016 by Oberon Books Ltd

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PB ISBN: 9781783193295

E ISBN: 9781783193301

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Acknowledgements

Purge was, essentially, a collaborative performance that I made with 1400 Facebook friends. Without their humor, their consent, their engagement and even their criticism, this quite-straightforward concept I had for a performance would never had felt so far-reaching and significant. While I was overwhelmed by the email maintenance caused by Purge, I was also humbled by the intelligence, candor and depth of this community that feels anything but virtual.

I would also like to thank the audiences who have come to Purge since it became a stage show in 2013. The nature of creating an interactive performance, which is more like an hour spent with friends then a formal stage show, means that all of the audience interactions, stories told, and people deleted have made the script what it is. I hope – if you were an audience member - you’ll find the work indicative of what you saw, and inclusive of the energy and heart that you brought to the theater each night.

I would like to thank the programmers, producers and venue managers who supported the work at various stages - from commissioners motiroti, to café owners throughout London who hosted Purge, to presenting partners like ANTI Contemporary Art Festival, Vooruit, Rich Mix and others who provided space for the work at its early stages - to current presenters who continue to bring the work to many throughout the world, allowing the story of Purge to continue to grow. I am thankful for the hard work and dedication of Charlene Lim, Tracy Gentles and Hannah Slimmon, the first producer who worked with me to transform Purge from installation to stage work. I am also thankful to Arts Council England who supported this development.

I am also deeply indebted to those who lent their talents to make Purge happen: namely, Chipp Jansen (computer design), Mamoru Iriguchi (graphic design), and Season Butler, who steadfastly supported Purge for all 50 hours of its installation, and whose friendship is something I treasure. I am also thankful to Priya Agrawal and the family of Grant R. Folland, who have been so supportive in my endeavors and continue to support Purge and the work I have made about Grant’s passing. I hope I honor them and him through my performances.

Purge may have forced me to reconsider the definition of friendship in the era of social networking, and this may be something which continues to change over time. But after talking and talking and talking about what makes a friend I know one thing firmly: friendship is not defined by the words you say, but by the smile that you get when you hear their name or see their face. Those audience members who sat with me in the installation could see it instantly... a warm smile, a relaxation in my face, some genuine light behind my eyes. It never took more than a second or two to tell. And I am thankful - as cheesy as it may sound - for all those who make me smile.

Purge/Puhdistus Installation in Kuopio, Finland
Photo by Pekka Mäkinen
Courtesy of ANTI Contemporary Art Festival, 2011

Brian and Season mark the final minute of
Purge/Puhdistus Installation, Kuopio, Finland
Photo by Pekka Mäkinen
Courtesy of ANTI Contemporary Art Festival, 2011

Chronology and Performance History

2011

11 June, Purge announced via Facebook. 68 Facebook friends pre-emptively deleted themselves within one hour

7-10 July, performance of Purge, the installation, across four different London venues: Jasmine Kitchen (Tower Hill), Brick Box (Brixton), First Out (Central London), Off-Broadway (Hackney)

10 July, ‘Former Friends of Brian Lobel’ Group appears on Facebook, founded by deleted (and later re-added) friend Margherita Laera

27 September-1 October, performance of Purge/Puhdistus, the installation, in the foyer of the Kuopio Academy of Design, for ANTI Contemporary Art Festival

Purge/Puhdistus wins ‘Kiltein/Kindest’ and ‘Idioottimaisin/Most Idiotic’ Performance at ANTI Children’s Choice Awards

2012

Purge wins the Digital Writing Award, given by Edge Hill University, North West Playwrights and Capital Theatre Festival

Work-in-progress of Purge presented at Rich Mix, London Developed with support from Arts Council England Produced by Hannah Kerr

Featured co-performer Dan Watson (a Facebook friend deleted in the original installation)

Work-in-progress of Purge presented at SummerWorks Performance Festival - Toronto

Purge at Rose Theatre, Edge Hill University - Ormskirk Featured co-performer Caroline Molloy (a Facebook friend deleted in the original installation)

Accompanied by Purge installation recreated by Isabelle Bats for the Fail Conference (first half of her friends)

2013

Accompanied by Purge installation recreated by Isabelle Bats for Private Investigations Festival (second half of her friends)

Accompanied by Purge installation recreated by Chrissie Dante² Purge translated into French by Chloé Déchery

Featured co-performer Eirini Kartsaki (a Facebook friend deleted in the original installation)

Purge at Santarcangelo Festival Dei Teatri - Santarcangelo Accompanied by Purge installation recreated by Alba von Von Purge translated into Italian by Michelle Davis

Purge at PSi (Performance Studies International) at Stanford University - Palo Alto

2014

Purge at Infecting the City Festival - Cape Town Accompanied by Purge installation recreated by Amy Jephta

2015

Purge at Off-Center for Fusebox Festival - Austin Accompanied by Purge installation recreated by Jeff Mills and Kymberlie Quong Charles ^3/4

2016

Purge at Malthouse Theatre, part of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival - Melbourne

¹ The show never really had a premiere I just stopped calling it a Work-in-Progress. While the show no longer changes significantly in its format, the details change according to what has actually happened in my life/the subjects’ lives. I also believe I have gotten better at performing Purge, so that’s changed.

² Those individuals who use a pseudonym for their engagement with social networking performed the installation as this identity and were credited under their Facebook name.

³ In May 2015, Facebook updated its API to limit the access of Facebook Apps to a user’s friend network. This was due to critiques of exposing user’s information to third-party apps. This new technical limitation broke the Purge App’s main functionality of accessing a user’s friend list and as such, the app, and the performance installation using the app, were retired.

⁴ A footnote to the previous footnote: the previous footnote’s app jargon was, of course, courtesy of technical designer Chipp Jansen.

⁵ As of July 2016 - when this book when to print - homosexuality is an imprisonable offense in Nigeria, despite there being a thriving, if still unseen, LGBTQ community in Lagos. I made the - at some times heartbreaking - decision to edit Purge, deleting much of the gay content, and calling Grant ‘my best friend’. This was not an alteration requested by the festival, but my own choice. The change from ‘first boyfriend’ to ‘best friend’ fooled absolutely no one, and that was fine for me. The co-performers - both soap stars and tv personalities - were incorporated into the work by acting the responses from my friends. They were wonderful, and definitely proved that I am not, never have been, never will be, a good actor.

Introduction

Grief, to me, is walking into a room of strangers, colleagues or even friends, and instantly thinking about not only whom I would trade, but how actively I would participate in their death in hopes of bringing Grant back to life. Back to life forever? For five minutes? For a day? For long enough for a hug? A kiss? For long enough for one of our 25-year-old, stumbling sexual encounters that characterized our relationship so so many years ago? So, for like, 15 minutes?

I know that I am grieving when my calculations are complicated, mathematically speaking. Would I kill someone with my own hands if I could have a day with him? Would I sit by and watch someone else die if it meant I could hear his voice? And would his voice say something I’ve heard before or something new? Would he be able to provide an answer to one of the many questions I have, questions that are such a hallmark of relationships (friendships, families and beyond) that are ended in an instant?

Grant R. Folland was, and still is, my favorite person in the world. He was a man who thought critically, wrote beautifully, and gave generously to his friends and family. He was also my first love, first boyfriend (although I’m not sure if we ever used that word with each other) and the person for whom I would happily trade any one of you reading this. Sorry. While I no longer (or at least not so often) calculate the aforementioned murderous equations in my mind, I know that there is very little I wouldn’t do to feel his embrace or hear his voice again.

At the time of his death in 2010 - when Grant died instantly while snowmobiling - I can write without pause that we were best friends. Perhaps we would have even rekindled our romantic relationship in the future... such delusional theoretical predictions are the stuff of grief and uncertainty. Even if we did ever get back together in the future... we would have definitely broken up again, maybe even broken up as friends... ours was a love and a friendship which fitted so perfectly in some ways and so difficultly in others.

I need to start a book about Purge with a conversation about grief, because I don’t want anyone to think that Purge was about social media and/or technology. Maybe it is a bit about social media, but only insomuch as contemporary beings discuss, share, enact and (potentially, hopefully) heal from grief on, via and through social media. It is, for many aside from a few stalwart technophobes, the stuff of life itself. I am not precious enough about the ‘live’, the ‘corporeal’ or the ‘tactile’ to pretend that these worlds are anything too separate from the ‘digital’ and the ‘connected’. But no, Purge is not about social media. It’s about grief, and loss, and disconnection. And - above all else - I hope it is about Grant.