About The Author
Dawn Raffel is the author of two story collections, Further Adventures in the Restless Universe and In the Year of Long Division, and a novel, Carrying the Body. Her fiction has appeared in O, The Oprah Magazine, BOMB, Conjunctions, The Anchor Book of New American Short Stories, The Quarterly, NOON, and many others. She has taught in the MFA program at Columbia University, and at Summer Literary Seminars in Montreal, Canada, and St. Petersburg, Russia. She is an editor at large for Reader’s Digest and the editor of The Literarian, the online journal for the Center for Fiction in New York City.
Praise for Dawn Raffel’s
The Secret Life of Objects
“‘Sometimes things shatter,’ Dawn Raffel writes in The Secret Life of Objects. ‘More often they just fade.’ But in this evocative memoir, moments from the past do not fade—they breathe on the page, rendering a striking portrait of a woman through her connections to the people she’s loved, the places she been, what’s been lost, and what remains. In clear, beautiful prose, Raffel reveals the haunting qualities of the objects we gather, as well as the sustaining and elusive nature of memory itself.”
– Samuel Ligon, author of Drift and Swerve: Stories
“Dawn Raffel puts memories, people and secrets together like perfectly set gems in these shimmering stories, which are a delight to read. Every detail is exquisite, every character beautifully observed, and every object becomes sacred in her kind, capable hands. I savored every word.
– Priscilla Warner, author of Learning to Breathe – My Yearlong Quest to Bring Calm to My Life
Praise for Dawn Raffel’s Earlier Writing
Vanity Fair
“The stories in Dawn Raffel’s astonishing Further Adventures in the Restless Universe (Dzanc) are as sharp and bright as stars.”
– Elissa Schappell
Time Out New York
“Her prose is intense enough to make even everyday topics seem fire-hot.”
The Daily Beast (5 Must-Read Story Collections)
“The 21 stories in Raffel’s slim second collection…reflect the disconnects, interruptions, and riddles in a contemporary woman’s hectic life…. The final story, ‘Beyond All Blessing and Song, Praise and Consolation,’ titled for a line in the mourner’s Kaddish, distills sadness into an ending both poetic and pure.”
– Jane Ciabattari
O, The Oprah Magazine
“Sharp, spare stories about women at, or approaching, the end of their ropes.”
– Sara Nelson
More Magazine
“Highly imaginative stories filled with sly wit…”
– Carmela Ciuraru
Publishers Weekly
“Raffel’s stripped-to-the-bone prose is a model of economy and grace.”
Booklist
“These reflective, well-tempered fictions are bursting with energy, requiring readers to look more closely at the world around them.”
– Jonathan Fullmer
New Pages
“Reality may be an adventure in Raffel’s cleverly and artfully crafted new collection, and as she writes it, is always an adventure worth taking.”
– Sara Rauch
American Book Review
“The emphasis here must be on Raffel’s new contribution, worth celebrating whatever its category.”
– John Domini
COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL
© 2012 copyright Dawn Raffel
First edition. All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-937543-03-7
ISBN: 9781937543198
Library of Congress Control Number: 2012936452
Printed in the United States of America. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. For information visit our website: http://jadedibisproductions.com
Published by Jaded Ibis Press, sustainable literature by digital means™ An imprint of Jaded Ibis Productions, LLC, Seattle, Washington USA jadedibisproductions.com
Interior drawings by Sean Evers. Cover art and design by Debra Di Blasi.
For Brendan and Sean
The following chapters were previous published as follows:
“The Tea Set from Japan,” “The Prayer Book,” “The Bride’s Bible,” “The Teacup,” “The Florsheim Dog,” “Tranqil Ease,” and “Garnet Earrings” in Willow Springs
“The Lady on the Vase,” “The Lock,” “The Thing with Wings,” “My Grandmother’s Recipes,” and “The Dress” in The Brooklyn Rail
“The Rocking Chair,” “The Glass Angel,” “The Rug,” and “The Mirror” in The Milan Review
“The Sewing Box” and “Rascal” in Salt Hill
“The Mug” in Unsaid
“The Cat” in Moonshot
“Yosemite and the Range of Light” in Everyday Genius
“The Watch” in The Collagist
“Medals” (under the title “As-Is”) in Wigleaf
“The Nesting Bowls” (under the title “Hungary”) in The Lifted Brow (Australia)
“The Moonstone Ring” in Numéro Cinq
Table of Contents
The Secret Life of Objects
The Mug
The Moonstone Ring
The Watch
The Lady on the Vase
The Wedding Gift
The Nesting Bowls
The China Tree That Looks Like My Grandfather’s China Tree
The Tea Set from Japan
The Cat
The Jewelry Box
The Rug
The Mexican Fisherman
The Frogs
French Bowls
The Prayer Book
The Bride’s Bible
The Lock
The Rocking Chair
The Sewing Box
The Dress
Mr. and Mrs. Buttercream
The Teacup
Rose-Colored Glasses
Soap
Seconds
The Florsheim Dog
Rascal
Tranqil Ease
Prize Dogs
The Thing with Wings
My Grandmother Bern’s Recipes
The Lamps
The View
Peacock Feathers
My Father’s Hat
The Phonograph That Proves That My Memories Were Wrong
The Thing I Never Found
The Ruby Watch
The Record Album
Yosemite and the Range of Light
The Glass Angel
The Angel From Russia
The Plate I Thought I’d Lost That My Mother Had All Along
What My Mother Thought She Had Lost That I Found
The Daughter Vase
Uncle Irving’s Devil
Medals
The Mirror
Garnet Earrings
The Dictionary
The Secret Life of Objects
The mug came first: a clay-based receptacle for stimulant, for memory, for story, for tonic for aloneness.
Surveying my house I found myself surrounded by surfaces and vessels, by paper and glass, by cloth, wood, clay, paint, and also my late artist mother’s renditions of things.
Already the contents are shifting shape. Already I cannot recall a voice, a year, the way the light fell speckled in a room.
Objects are intractable. We own them. We don’t.
All memoir is fiction.
We try to fit the pieces together again.
The Mug
Every morning I drink coffee out of a mug that I took from my mother’s house. It is a blue mug from the Milwaukee Art Museum where my mother was a docent during the last years of her life. The image is of a Picasso, a bird.
My mother’s death was sudden. It was my stepfather who’d been dying, of stomach cancer, and who’d begun home hospice care. My mother, who’d been despondent (“I was supposed to die first,” she told me. “This was not supposed to happen.”), did not wake up one morning. The house was left in the way a house is left when someone leaves the world mid-thought. Nothing had been sorted or dispensed with or hidden, and after my stepfather died too, it fell to me to see to the house’s contents.
My mother had saved everything. This was the good news and also the bad news. Because she had been an artist, her house was filled with dozens upon dozens of sculptures, in clay and in wood, paintings and drawings, in oil, in acrylic, in charcoal, in pencil, of water and trees and women—so many women from so many angles, clothed, nude; their faces, their bodies, the suggestion of the inner life. Roses abounded. Shells, too, the pinkened insides of conches like portals to dreams. My sister and I could not take them all, and I didn’t want them to sit in storage for 20 or 30 years until someone else threw them out. I found a taker for everything except the drawings, wisps of thought, which I tossed, reluctantly. My mother’s favorite bench by the lake, the place where she went to cry after my father left, rendered in woodblock, went to a cousin; waters and skies to another cousin, to aunts and stepsiblings and in-laws and friends. I took home the roses she painted when she was young, and the sculpted likeness of the woman who was me, and the heads of women darkened with patina, the red clay torsos, the Renoir copy that had hung over the sofa, that my children wanted. I took the bronze dancer, a copy of a Degas we had seen the last time my mother had led my children and me through the museum, four months before she died.
Then I dispersed the glass paperweights my mother had collected, abstract worlds caught in globes, molten bubbles, veins of dye, nothing so overt as a scene. I gave away the tables and the chairs, their cushions stained; the beds, the lamps, the art supplies, some still untouched: brushes and gessoes and paints and craypas—most to my sister, some to my younger son who went to art school—papers and rags; four closets full of clothing, plus still more: old crinolines and plaids and silks and tablecloths folded over rusting metal hangers in the basement. I took the shoes nested in tissue in their cardboard boxes; they fit me exactly, vintage, scarcely worn. My mother and I had the same feet. Our faces were similar enough to startle her friends, though hers held a different expression—a kind of openness that drew the attention of strangers. Our bodies were different—hers voluptuous, mine diminutive. I took the smaller jewels, necklaces in boxes, in plastic bags, strewn; and earrings, pins, and loose beads.
With my tiny aunt, I threw out drawers and shelves’ worth of medicines—six or seven bottles of Tylenol, each with only a few pills gone, three or four bottles of Pepto Bismol, years-old prescriptions and current prescriptions—for high cholesterol, migraines, high blood pressure, thyroid, Leiden 5 clotting factor, pain, the inability to sleep. Those were just my mother’s. My stepfather had pills too, and he had morphine; wrappers from something lay on the floor. My aunt held a black Hefty trash bag while I threw in medicinal casings, rubber gloves, ruined towels. Lotion. Mints. Toothpaste. Desiccated tissue. Lists, receipts. Pencil stubs, hair. In the drawers: bras, panties, hosiery, socks and peds, some never worn. (My stepfather’s clothes we left for his kids.)
By the time we entered the kitchen with its food that was old now, its condiments and spices, its plastic ware and Tupperware and pots and pans and plastic bags and tin foil and napkins, I wanted the haulers to haul it away, as they would, in its entirety, the metal shelving unit in the garage with its used tools, turpentine, half-cans of paint, stained spades, nails, screws, the broken parts of things.
Instead, my aunt and I stood in front of the oven. We filled another Hefty bag, three. Then she retrieved the blue mug from a high shelf.
“Take it,” she said.
“I don’t need it,” I said.
“Take it,” she said.