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One of the earliest lessons I learned from my parents is the importance of being passionate in life. For my mother and father, passion did not mean simply having strong emotions about something or someone. Rather, passion was the power that flowed from the presence of the Holy Spirit in our lives, giving us a share in the same spiritual fire that came upon the heads of the Apostles at Pentecost. Such passion can empower us to become faithful disciples of Christ, fulfill our duties each day with generosity, courageously love those around us, and persevere before whatever challenges we may face. Without such passion, life can easily become mediocre, routine, and boring.

We can all recognize the difference between a person who is passionate about his or her faith and one who is not. There is a joy that comes from passionate believers that is both inviting and infectious. Believers who are on fire with God’s grace build bridges of understanding between people, show compassion for those who are hurting, and bring hope to those in despair.

If you answer yes to any of these questions, this book, You’re Amazing: A Message of Hope That Will Change Your Life Forever, is all about inviting the fire of the Holy Spirit into your life. It is a powerful spiritual tool for anyone who wishes to live joyfully and effectively. In a world where we are given many reasons to doubt whether we are loveable or loved and are tempted to fall into isolation, fear, and indifference, Justin outlines a practical and compelling spiritual itinerary that is nothing short of revolutionary. I am confident that if you read this book, you will leave behind any desire to live a mediocre or routine life. In its place, you will be invited to live with real meaning and passion.

How do you define being “real”? What is a real person? The way I look at it, a real person is always genuine and authentic, and is all around a person of integrity—he is who he is, no matter where he is. This person has nothing to hide, nothing to fear, and nothing to lose. A real person is at peace and remains joyful no matter what life’s circumstances bring. As the old hymn exclaims, “No storm can shake my inmost calm while to that refuge clinging, since Christ is Lord of Heaven and earth how can I keep from singing?” A real person knows that as long as she is real about who she is, who God is, and how that relationship is growing, nothing can shake her. That is reason for hope; that is a recipe for fulfillment. But does the idea of such “realness” seem impossible or intimidating to you? Many of us balk at it in today’s world, because we have an image we still feel the need to cling to. Others of us may be on board (hey, it kind of sounds like a trendy cleanse), only to lose our nerve when anxiety sets in. Perhaps we will accidentally become too real. It is natural to resist feeling vulnerable, open to societal judgment, and permanently out of one’s comfort zone—essentially, being spiritually and emotionally naked.

Well, here is the naked truth: I discovered that if a person decides to hand his or her life over to God—and I mean completely—then that person is an example of what it means to be real. I don’t know if you have made that decision, but if you have, you have a good shot at living a an amazing life, because being real is step one. As we go through these five life-changing steps, we will discover just how to hand our lives over to God. But don’t make your decision just yet—start by being real; it can’t kill you!

“Realness” in front of God is the ultimate confidence. There is no shame in nakedness when we are naked in front of our Creator—he knows us better than we know ourselves anyway. We never have to be afraid when we allow God to take charge. He is our rock: “He is my rock of refuge, a stronghold to save me. For you are my rock and my fortress; for your name’s sake lead me and guide me” (Psalm 18:2). Here’s how being real helped some of my friends become fully confident in who they are and compassionate toward others.

In our apostolate, Hard as Nails, we are on a mission to awaken the world to the power of God’s love. During one of our events I met a young man named Todd. I was speaking at a family conference in 2010, and my first impression of him was that he just seemed to have it all together. People enjoyed spending time with Todd; they gravitated toward his magnetic personality. He was a straight-A student who had never taken drugs or engaged in underage drinking or had sex before marriage. He came from a wonderful, loving family. Here’s the thing, though: Families and kids perceived as perfect and wonderful are not exempt from suffering.

During my talk that day, I asked a simple question: “Would anyone like to share their story?” Todd was the very last person to step up to the mic. I had a feeling he had been waiting for the perfect opportunity to be real about the challenges he had been facing. This was it.

When he got up in front of the group, Todd shared that he habitually cut himself—a devastating addiction many teens succumb to. He opened up his beautiful heart and talked about the anxiety he faced on a daily basis. With some timidity, yet with powerful conviction, Todd told the crowd that he needed God to help him overcome his addiction to cutting; he knew he couldn’t do it on his own. Because he was willing to be real in admitting his need for God, Todd had been set free and found a deeper sense of purpose in his life that day.

“I’m Randy. Thanks for helping my son,” Todd’s father said later that day, offering me a firm handshake. With tears in his kind eyes, he expressed his deep appreciation for my helping Todd speak up about his pain. Having had no idea what Todd was going through, Randy experienced real angst after hearing his son’s poignant confession.

As I got to know Randy at that weeklong conference, I asked him what challenges he was facing in life. He deflected, “Oh, you know, my son … I just want to help my son.” I wanted to know what his personal challenges were, not what his son was facing—I already knew about that. Randy and I became friends that week, and he made a commitment to be real—not only with his family and those around him, but first and foremost with himself.

I kept in touch with Todd, and he shared with me that he was going through so much more than he had initially let on. He was cutting more than just his wrists. He was mutilating his legs too. His cutting had really become a severe addiction. The details he shared with me were just gruesome.

I encouraged him to share these intimacies with his parents. After some pushback he agreed, and he ended up talking with his mom and dad for more than forty-five minutes about the specific challenges he was facing. Persistence paid off—after a little extra prodding and digging, Todd was willing to be totally honest about his addiction, and thankfully his parents listened with their whole hearts. Although it was a tough conversation, it was the beginning of a new chapter for Todd and his parents.

You see, being real doesn’t mean taking the easy path; instead, it often means taking a very difficult one. But it is the outcome of going through the discomfort and vulnerability of being real that makes us fulfilled. Being real was the beginning of Todd’s and Randy’s healing, wholeness, and freedom, and it can be the beginning for you too.

It’s one thing to be real with yourself, but to be real with others is an equally important component. Sharing your personal story, your suffering, your battles, your humanness, however ugly or embarrassing you think they are, is what enables you to advance ever closer toward a life of peace with yourself, others, and God.

Being this level of real isn’t easy today; our world sometimes seems like one grand masquerade party. Everyone’s photos are filtered to gain more likes on Instagram; males and females alike go so far as edit images of themselves with Photoshop or whatever the latest trend is until they are nearly unrecognizable.

You see it everywhere you turn: politicians, celebrities, cliques at school or work. We are insecure and more self-involved than ever. Maybe we aren’t intentionally hiding our brokenness, but we are flaunting our assets in order to garner attention, which is equally fraudulent on the “levels of fakeness” spectrum. We dance the dance because we want to build a following—a fan base centered around us. We want to be adored. We want to be celebrated. Whether or not we realize it, what we want is artificial gratification, which will only leave us empty in the end. Isn’t it sad that many of us have been told that our worth and beauty are dependent on the way we portray ourselves to the (cyber) world? Isn’t it a shame that we think we need add-ons and filters so that others will love us? But if we want to be content with who we are, we can’t give in to the false affirmations offered on social media when we flaunt our exterior life. We need to be ourselves inside and out if we want to be fulfilled and satisfied with our lives.

The fakeness at this point has become so prevalent. For those of us who choose to be real and transparent, we’ve got our work cut out for us, but don’t let your spirit be dampened by the overwhelming odds. I challenge you to take off your own masks and get “naked.” If you are real with others, they are more likely to let you in, and if you pursue them with authentic love and keep digging deeper, they might even ask you to help them discard their masks.

TIME FOR GOD: Get a notebook or a journal or open the notes app on your phone. Ask God to help you gain deeper fulfillment by revealing to you the areas in your life where you need to “get naked.” Make a list of three things you want to get real about, and pray for God to give you the grace and strength to confront these areas.

MAKE IT COUNT: Consider finding a mentor or spiritual director you can meet with regularly. Read this book and share with him or her your experiences as you walk through it together. If you cannot find a mentor or spiritual director, find a companion to walk through it with you. Amazing things will happen when you go two by two.

When you were a little kid, you could make a mistake, get back up, brush yourself off, and start over. When you were young, you could disappoint someone and not be ashamed when that person held you accountable—you might have just been ticked off for twenty minutes or so. When you were a child, you might have felt angry in the heat of the moment, but after your nap, you soon forgot about whatever had bothered you. When you were a kid, you could do something embarrassing without holding on to shame for years.

But often, as we get older, we begin to hold grudges: against our families, our friends, and even our past selves. We get upset over people’s reactions and refuse to let those feelings go. Many times it takes years to finally get over an injustice or a betrayal, instead of just minutes. We need to get our “kid hearts” back so we can experience that freedom we once had to let God handle our difficulties.

When we were kids we would jump into a pool without thinking twice. We would tear off our shirts, tie our bathing suits, and cannonball into the freezing cold water, envisioning in our imaginative little brains a splash the size of a four-hundred-pound man’s. It was freeing, and boy was it was fun! We would swim for hours. We would never get tired. Our friends would enjoy themselves and it seemed as though there was never anything wrong in the world—except for when we splashed those nice old ladies at the pool (but come on—was that really so wrong?). What a great life! But what happened to those kids? When did we lose those carefree and excitable little hearts?

Fast-forward—now we take forever to get in the water. If it’s cold, we might sit there until kingdom come just hoping no one is going to pressure us to get in. And this is one of our obstacles to living an amazing life. We weigh our options so much that fear and the trepidation of what might happens paralyzes us. We miss opportunities because we are sitting around waiting for other people to give us permission to be that kid again. We wait for people to believe in us, when in reality we already are amazing! By the power of our baptismal calling, we are truly a gift, and the way we live our life is how we show the world who we are and who our Father is. Being a kid at heart means being ready to take on this world with the power that dwells within us. Let that little kid out again—you won’t regret it.

MAKE IT COUNT: Go out and do something that you used to love doing as a kid (swimming, throwing rocks, shooting some hoops, getting ice cream, etc.). Fulfillment happens when you love life. People are inspired by someone who loves his or her life and is carefree like a kid.

I’ll never understand how so many people are able to keep up with those Kardashians! (Not that I have any desire to try to, I might add.) Keeping up with every detail of anyone’s life is just too complicated. If we try to, we’ll wear ourselves out. Let’s opt for simplicity instead. Simplicity is crucial to a life of fulfillment. We need to love people simply and truthfully. Practically speaking, all we need to do is periodically ask ourselves, “Am I keeping things simple?” When we get caught up in drama, it only complicates things. Here are some phrases that can lead to “drama for your mama,” as I like to say. If these are running through your head, you need to simplify your life by getting rid of some drama:

I think you get the point. Being caught up in other people’s lives and making comparisons is unnecessary drama. In this life there will always be a parade of drama surrounding you and the people you know. But do your best to steer clear of it and your life will begin to become simple again. Instead of comparing yourself to others, reflect inwardly—love those who hurt you and protect those who are vulnerable to being hurt by others.

The more we overthink, the more we overanalyze, the more we overextend our resources into things that aren’t life giving, the less simple our life becomes. Life becomes more complicated and our relationships become more confusing and self-seeking. These experiences become unbearable.

Stay away from drama in your romantic relationships, too. It gets complicated when you get caught up in a relationship that won’t last or eventually lead to marriage. If you truly love that person, then you will stop focusing on defining the relationship and start focusing on what is best for him or her and for yourself. If you are married, don’t think about what you wish your spouse would be. Concentrate on seeing the good in him or her and find ways for your spouse to be the-best-version-of-himself or -herself. The same is true with your children. “No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13). Love is simple. Look for what is best for others, and you will love with a sacrificial love like Christ.

Life is too short to worry about things that don’t matter. We stress ourselves out about little things that mean nothing. People spend too much time thinking about their results on a Facebook test and not enough time thinking about how they can get out there and love the people around them. Last year I took a Facebook challenge that promised to measure my “lovability.” My wife, Mary, did this with me—and of course, she was 100 percent lovable. Mary said, “Your turn, Justin!” So I, confident man that I am, answered the questions and waited for my results. The computer buffered for a while, and I started to get kind of nervous. I told my wife, “Watch, I’ll probably be only 5 percent lovable.” We both laughed, thinking I’d at least do better than that! Finally the arrow circled around and came back with my score: 1 percent lovable. Ha! You see, God even loves the guy the Internet deems unlovable! The thing that makes me amazing is that I was loved when I was unlovable.