Becoming
UnFamous
The Journey From How We Do It To How HE Do It
Montell Jordan
Becoming Unfamous
© Copyright 2016 — Montell Jordan
All rights reserved. This book is protected under the copyright laws of the United States of America. This book may not be copied or reprinted for commercial gain or profit. The use of short quotations or occasional page copying for personal or group study is permitted and encouraged. Permission will be granted upon request. Scripture quotations from THE MESSAGE. Copyright © by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress. All rights reserved. Represented by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.
No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, or any other—except for brief quotations, without permission in writing from the author.
www.montellandkristin.com
Ryan Sprenger, Print Broker. Printopya.com
eBook design by Green E-Books | greene-books.com
Print ISBN: 978-1-942306-61-0
Published in the United States of America
DEDICATION
I would like to thank my wife and greatest love of my life, Kristin Jordan. My children Christopher, Catharine, Sydney, Skyler & Samantha; you are all the realization of promises kept. To my Mom & Dad, brothers and sisters and my entire family, I honor you. Nana, thank you for your strong arms that picked Alabama cotton and still hugged me just yester- day. Thanks to everyone responsible for both my music career successes and failures, as they all contributed to the man I am today. Thank you to anyone who has said prayers for me to succeed and for those who have unsuccessfully prayed for my downfall. Thank you, church families from my childhood until now, for rightly dividing the word of truth and allowing me a place where I get to be at peace being one person, the Montell Jordan God loves the most. Thanks, Dennis & Colleen Rouse, for your spiritual parenting of kids who dream really big. Thank you, Craig Obrist Photography, for your making me beautiful with your photography and Stephanie Pendleton for your creativity and artwork for this project. Thanks, Mallory Cruz, for your editing and journeying alongside us in both our real and literary lives. Thanks, Rick Warren and Saddleback Church, for your support and influence. Thank you to the additional proofreaders, editors, printers, and distributors of this book. Lastly, but really firstly, thank you, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, for the incredible things you promised you would do in the lives of those reading this book. Thank you, God, for more than a hit song and a good story; thanks for breathing life back into me to breathe into others.
CONTENTS
PROLOGUE | The New Montell
INTRODUCTION | Famous
ONE | What's in a Name
TWO | The Gift of Music
THREE | Gifted vs. Called
FOUR | Let's Make a Deal
FIVE | Love Under New Management
SIX | Married to the Music
SEVEN | This Is How We Do It
EIGHT | We're on a World Tour
NINE | An R&B Group Saved My Life
TEN | There's No Testimony Without the Test
ELEVEN | More to Tell
TWELVE | The Hits Keep Coming
THIRTEEN | Keep Rising to the Top
FOURTEEN | Exposed
FIFTEEN | Restoration
SIXTEEN | After Egypt
SEVENTEEN | Life After Def
EIGHTEEN | A House Is Not a Home
NINETEEN | The Call
TWENTY | The Response
TWENTY-ONE | Giving It All Away
TWENTY-TWO | Becoming Unfamous
ENDNOTES
CONTACT
PROLOGUE
The New Montell
I laid at the altar tonight, Wednesday, August 25th, 2010.
I have left my tears, a multitude of them, at the feet of Jesus.
I am uncertain of what is to come, what life will look like following this submission, or how to even move forward after this act of faith but it is finished. Fame has been crucified.
I have heard the message of Christ’s crucifixion so many times before, but tonight was different.
I have decided to completely entrust God with my life, direction, career, provision, ministry, and everything else.
I have conceded that I am weak and incapable of doing His Will. He will have to use me. I cannot do this on my own. Without Him I will fail. If “I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me” is real, now is the time that I charge Him to prove it.
I am certain I will look like a failure to some, a has- been to many, and a hypocrite to most; I only hope to look like my Savior to ONE.
I can’t go back, and there’s no purpose in going forward if He isn’t coming with me. My flesh man is terrified of the unknown, yet my Spirit man is unafraid and optimistic…
At 41 years old, the second half of my life begins tonight. I will write and tell the story of what God does.
As I type into my phone, now sitting in the second chair, center aisle to the right, four rows back, I have limited words. It is difficult to look into the faces of those around me tonight because I don’t feel the same. It is obvious that I’m not who I was just hours earlier. I am changed.
Without even speaking to my wife (who I have caught occasional glimpses of sprawled on the church floor while picking myself up), I am certain we are with one accord in regard to the drastic turn of events that are about to occur. Once again, there’s no need to even begin this journey if God is not gonna get the glory from this.
My son Skyler, 6, is holding me now. He can feel something is different, but I’m certain he doesn’t know what it is…and neither do I.
God, here I am. I’m not sure exactly where that is, but as long as You’re with me, here am I.
INTRODUCTION
fa·mous - 1. Having a widespread reputation, usually of a favorable nature 2. Renowned; Celebrated 3. Known to be recognized by many people.1
You don’t have to be famous to become unfamous.
It is my desire that, while sharing my life experience in a digestible, understandable, relevant, relatable and useful format, anyone reading these words, those rooted in faith and those searching for answers, would gain some form of direction for their life from mine.
Allow me to begin by saying that once upon a time I was famous; now, I am a dead man walking. I realize that’s a pretty interesting way to begin a book, but hang in there, and I will explain.
Self-preservation is one of the most universal behaviors in humans. Most everything living will fight to survive. But what happens when that instinct needs to be violated? What is the process that needs to occur in order for a human to have a desire for himself or herself to die? And why in the world would anyone in his or her right mind want to go against this survival characteristic anyway? I did this, and throughout this book, I will share why and how.
On January 2nd of 2011 I left the R&B recording business and went into full-time ministry. While I believe this process has allowed me to exchange success for significance, many don’t understand that someone had to be assassinated in order for this new life to begin. I had to die; I also had to order the hit.
Now please don’t get me wrong, I’m not speaking to you about a physical murder or suicide; I’m speaking about the death of our flesh and our fleshly desires in exchange for the life of the spirit man and woman that lives inside each and every one of us. I am more alive today than I have ever been, absent of fame, notoriety, riches, and the cares of the world. If you knew me in my previous life and then saw me now, there would be no question in your mind that I am truly back from the dead.
Funny enough, the day I began writing this book was a non-unfamous day. That particular morning I was recognized by 3 people while simply trying to put a quart of oil into my car.
I was dressed moderately and simply and I didn’t have myself groomed in anyway that would’ve drawn attention to myself. Naturally, being 6’8” tall there is an inclination for people to notice my Goliath-like features when I pass by, and afterwards they will either give the “I know him from somewhere, but I don’t wanna stare” look, or “Is that Montell Williams?” or “Is that “Michael Jordan?” or the several different combinations of recognizing someone but not being able to put the name with the face. Once I’m gone and far enough away they finally realize “oh gosh, that was Montell Jordan.” It’s also quite possible that while people are trying to figure out if I am famous or not, they hear the faint song “This Is How We Do It” playing in the background of their subconscious. Fame is often accompanied by a musical soundtrack. I found it interesting that the same day I would begin sharing my experiences about the journey to becoming unfamous, it was as if God was showing me what happens when He fulfills the promise that “I will make your name great.”
During the last five years I have been on a journey that I’m finally realizing I’ve been on for the last 46 years—or my entire life—without knowing the destination. Until now. Statistically, this means I have spent less than 3% of my entire life completely dedicated to what I was ordained, designed, called, and created to do. And I’ve been in church most of my life. The reality is that even in church, I was functioning in my gift and not in my calling. We will explore this once we actually get into my life.
I was commonly asked, “Montell, what’s it like to be famous? Doesn’t it bother you that you can’t even walk into a room without everyone noticing?” I would reply, “It would only bother me if I walked into a room and no one noticed.” I will later share that there was a harvest to be reaped from that mentality that did not result in a healthy garden.
The purpose for this book is to present to you, both famous and folks who desire to be famous, the template, the blueprint, the road map—perhaps even the treasure map—that I personally used to guide me to where I now function happily and completely in what I was created and destined to do. My story just may trail blaze a pathway in a direction that you may have been seeking without even knowing it. For anyone who has ever desired to become famous, I know the secret. I also know the cost.
I’m not sure this journey is for everyone, but I’m hoping that exposing the details of my journey from R&B music, unfaithfulness, alcoholism, you name it, into a full life in Christ will assist anyone else who will take the same leap of faith and walk the same pathway that I did. Unlike me, you will have some type of direction sign to help you navigate the journey.
There will be stop signs, yield signs, danger signs, warning signs, “what the heck are you doing” signs, detour signs, flashing lights, U-turns, you name it. This journey for you is going to be full of them, just as it was for me. But take heart and be encouraged, as the signs I will be sharing with you will hopefully help lead you to the correct destination.
In closing, allow me to take all the guesswork out of where this story will end. The destination is Jesus Christ. With that being said, that ultimately is everyone’s goal, whether they are aware of it or not. I’ve often heard that a wise person learns from the mistakes of others while a fool learns from his own. So for those who want to know how we do it, how He empowers and enables us to die to ourselves so that we may not only have life more abundantly and eternally but also live more fulfilled here in the now, This is How HE Do It.
Choose wisdom. Share my life.
PASTOR MONTELL JORDAN
ONE
What’s in a Name?
I was born Montell Du’Sean Barnett on Tuesday, December 3rd, 1968, around 2:32 a.m. at John Wesley Hospital, just 4 days before my mom’s 18th birthday. I have always shared a special connection with my mother, probably greatly due to the fact that she and I existed before my adopted father or younger brother and sisters came along. At birth, my last name was fatherless.
I have always known that I was different. For as long as I can remember, my mother has told me I was “special.” (And she didn’t mean it in the little yellow school bus sense of the word either!) Even when I was a baby, she said she saw I had a mark of ministry on my head. My name was special, she would tell me. And because she was my mother, I believed her.
As an infant, I was given the nickname “Monkey” because of my small round head, tiny ears, and predisposition to being carried on someone’s hip over walking. Although this was only my family nickname, later throughout my R&B music career I would secretly keep the nickname as I sometimes felt like the caged zoo animal that people often watched from a distance, sometimes speaking within earshot and pointing as though I could not hear or understand that they identified me as someone “famous.” It can be awkward and intimidating meeting someone famous, so I always tried to extend grace when someone finally mustered up the courage to walk up to me, point, smile, and sing “This Is How We Do It” as though it were my name and that they weren’t doing something that had been done a million times before.
I wasn’t born into a famous family. Quite frankly, I was an original product of “baby mama drama” long before the term was even entered into urban slang. I have never met my biological father, Edward Fitzgerald Barnett, and have only seen one or two photos of him. It is my understanding that although he attempted to take responsibility for me as a child, him not wanting to commit to marrying my mom was the deal breaker that not only kept he and I from relationship but also cemented my adoptive name change from Barnett to Jordan upon my mom’s union with my dad, Elijah Jordan, a few years later.
So my story begins a little something like this: single- parent teen pregnancy produces a black, fatherless baby boy, born into the ghetto of South Central Los Angeles, California.
I was raised up in the Baptist church (or the black church in my case), which would become my very first musical training ground. Every weekend was like a family reunion as most of my relatives were all members of the same church and served in some area of ministry. My pastor during this time was one of the most influential men in both my musical and spiritual life. Unfortunately, sometimes those we admire and respect are often most capable of doing the most damage. Pastor Richard Stubbs is now in heaven, and I honor him and his memory. I recall an instance as a preteen, possibly 11 or 12 years old, where he said something to me that took many years to recover from. One day The Rev pulled me aside and asked me a few questions.
“Do you know why your family has to struggle so much sometimes?” he asked.
I replied, “No.”
He then asked, “Would you like to know why?” I answered, “Yes, sir.”
“It’s because your family’s last name is Jordan.” He continued. “In the Bible, the Jordan was considered to be one of the filthiest rivers known to man. It was dirty. Bad luck. Your father has that last name and he has passed it on to you. Do you know what that means?”
I answered, “No, sir.”
“It means that you will always struggle. So long as you have the last name Jordan, you will always have a mark on you because it is unclean. Nothing will ever come easy for you or your family.”
According to the pastor, my name was dirty. My name was bad luck. My name was struggle. My name was unclean. My love for him allowed me to accept his definition of my name.
After hearing these words spoken over me, I felt I would always have a strike against me. I was just an impressionable kid, and at this time in my life, I still didn’t know that I had been adopted (I wouldn’t find this out until I was 16 years old.) My family (like many) had a way of keeping secrets (family business), and I’m certain I’m not the first person to realize that sometimes really good Christians do some really bad things. All my family members and the church folks around me knew my birth circumstances, yet they were protecting me until I was old enough to handle it.
I would learn the hard way about the power words have. Life and death are in the power of the tongue, and the man I identified as being the closest person to God was instructing me as to the trials that would lie ahead for me because of my name. He spoke those words into my life and into my spirit. Because I loved and respected the man with everything that was in me, I received those words as truth. The Jordan name was my inheritance, however this encounter devalued it.
Even in the presence of an earthly father, the unspoken words over me were resounding: fatherless, unwanted, undesired, unworthy, and unclean. Sometimes it is what goes unsaid that speaks loudest. So what’s in a name? Everything. This way of thinking would result in years of destructive behavior, misguided ideals, insecurities, and self-esteem issues.
On a good note, there was a musical impartation that The Rev left in me that I will always be grateful for. He was a great man, and amidst those words came the development of my musical gift. Thankfully, God would erase the negative words from my life and propel me into my destiny, yet this inner healing wouldn’t occur until well into adulthood. Until then, I began to use adversity as fuel to move forward into my future. Sure, the Jordan River may have been filthy, but it was also the place where Jesus directed the leper to dip himself seven times, and there, he was healed.
TWO
The Gift of Music
Growing up I felt like my parents were the black MacGyvers, because although we lived check to check, they somehow managed to make something out of nothing. We considered ourselves to be a middle-class family and church and family were often synonymous. Church was everything for me: my afterschool programs, my summer vacation, and ultimately, my musical training ground. I would hear all the time, “Montell, you’re going to be a preacher one day.” I would think to myself, “You must be out of your mind. God didn’t tell me that.” Back then, I never knew God used people, situations, and circumstances to communicate to His people, much less to me. Keeping it real, I didn’t know or care what He had to say. Still, I heard it over and over again my entire life from people both inside and outside of the church.
This is important to know because like many of you reading this, I was called into ministry at a very young age yet I did not answer. I knew that beyond talents and gifts, I was anointed for something great, but I didn’t comprehend why I was given the musical and influential leadership that I had. Who in their right mind would want to be in ministry when they could be famous? I appreciated The Rev and his position in the church, but really, reverend over rock star? Pastor over NBA player? Minister over millionaire? No way! Honestly, I didn’t know a kid in my neighborhood who didn’t want to be famous, liked, popular, respected, admired, rich, and talented. We all understood some of us were more talented than others, but none of us could comprehend what it meant to be anointed.
A gift is something given to us all. Gifts come from God, and once He gives them to us, He does not take them back. These gifts are activated through talent or anointing. Talent is something you work at to do well, while anointing is something you don’t work at, and God works through you. Essentially, talent shows what you can do with your gift, while anointing shows what God can do with your gift.
Anointing isn’t just something that the church has cornered the market on. In many different professions, we need certain abilities to achieve higher levels of success. On the job, in sports, even in our own personal desires outside of the church, God gives gifts to people who sometimes excel, just not always for His glory. Athletes, businessmen, musicians, speakers, and teachers can all carry an anointing in their profession. Anointing enables someone ordinary to do something extraordinary.
For several years, The Rev would take me and a few other talented and gifted young teenaged kids to a little church on the corner of 51st and Hoover, seat us on the front pew, and then proceed to wrap a 3ft. chain around the door, locking us inside. I look back now with spiritual eyes on the symbolism present during that season and understand that he wasn’t trying to keep us from being disturbed or to stop anyone from getting in.
He was preventing the impartation of the anointing into us from getting out. We would play musical instruments for a minimum of 6 hours daily, nonstop.
Talents can be taken away, gifts cannot. They come without repentance and cannot be revoked, even from the Lord Himself. Anointing is transferrable. This was made evident in the biblical teaching where a double portion was transferred to Elisha upon receiving the mantle from Elijah. The Rev was passing on the musical anointing (mantle) on his life to those he recognized with the gift.
God gives us all gifts. The challenge is not only to identify what our gifts are but also to know what they are for.
As kids we all wanted to become famous. It didn’t matter if we would become famous singers, wrestlers or athletes; we just wanted to be a famous somebody