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So, you’ve been tasked with organising a stag do. Are you the sole organiser? Do you have helpers? Are you in charge of five or 35 guests? Does the groom-to-be want to go abroad? For a week? A weekend? Does he want to keep it local and just go to a nearby pub and for a bite to eat at a restaurant? Or maybe he wants to head into the wilderness where he can truly relax and be at one with nature? Perhaps you are the groom-to-be and you’d rather organise things yourself? There are many conversations to be had and decisions to be made!

The number of guests and desired activities will greatly affect the amount of effort required of you, the organiser. Sorting a stag do might look like hard work, but it should ultimately be enjoyable – if you start to feel stressed you may find you need an extra pair of hands to help out. Don’t be afraid to ask the groom-to-be to designate another helper if you’re feeling overwhelmed.

Thankfully, this book will be your little helper over the duration of planning the stag do. From knowing where to start and choosing the guest list to offering activity ideas and ways to make the event cheaper, this stag do planning guide will help you leap over the obstacles that you experience along the way and host a stag do that will be remembered by the groom and your fellow stags for years to come.

Most men would usually cower at the thought of planning an event that involved a group of other men – some strangers, some not – and which was, for the groom-to-be, the most highly anticipated day of their year (of course, with the exception of his wedding!). So, when you’re asked to be the best man of a close friend or relative it can feel like a lot of responsibility is sitting heavily on your shoulders. But if you start planning early and make sure each stage is accounted for, there will be no need to panic. The key is to wangle as much information out of your stag as you possibly can in terms of their interests and the interests of the others they want to invite. If half of the guests have families and responsibilities back home, they might not be able to attend a do abroad. Be as open-minded as possible and don’t let your vision overshadow that of the groom-to-be’s. It is his time to relax, after all.

Don’t become the male stereotype and leave everything to the last minute when it comes to organising the do; make sure you give yourself and the groom-to-be enough time to run through the basics before you take full control of the planning.

Sit down with a beer – this often helps the flow of ideas – and come up with a few potential dates. Most stag dos are organised to take place a few weeks before the big day, so that when it comes to the groom having to say his vows, the events of the party seem like a very distant memory. More traditionally, you could celebrate your stag’s last hours of singledom the night before the wedding, as a lot of grooms-to-be were accustomed to, but do you really want to take that risk?!

Unfortunately, you can’t please everyone and some people whom you invite won’t be able to make it, but once you’ve settled on the dates with the stag it’s best to stick to them as changing them to be flexible with the guests can create confusion and more planning (which you really don’t want!). The more notice you give your guests, the more likely most of them will be able to make it. And when it comes to booking accommodation, activities and travel, you want to get in there before everything is booked up.

Ask for a rough idea of what he’d like to do – bearing in mind the demographics of the guests too. Does he want to go abroad or stay closer to home? What sort of day/weekend does he have in mind? More sophisticated, packed full of activities and potentially a little pricey, or cheap and cheerful and to a strict budget?

The groom-to-be will want to celebrate his do with his nearest and dearest, and those who know how to have a belter. Speak to him about who you should invite, bearing in mind that smaller group activities are easier to organise and often more intimate. Although his requests should be considered, sometimes you will need to gently intervene so that you can make the event possible – if he wants to invite all 100 of his Facebook friends of varying ages, interests and bank balances you will have to let him down lightly.

It is becoming more popular for the stag’s father to attend, and even the bride-to-be’s! This requires a lot of thought before a decision should be made. For example, what is the general demographic of your guests? And will they want to go clubbing after having partaken in white-water rafting and a skydive in the same day? Perhaps a separate more formal occasion should be arranged by the groom-to-be as an alternative.

When you’ve put together a potential guest list quickly check through it to make sure there won’t be any unexpected meetings for your guests. If you think that there are certain guests who don’t see eye-to-eye and it could cause tension, speak to the groom-to-be to see how best to approach the situation.

Once you’ve got a clear idea of what kind of event it’s going to be, gather the contact details of all those invited (the groom-to-be should be able to supply you with these) and send out a ‘save the date’ invitation. Introduce yourself, let them know they have been invited to a stag do and add a sentence or two about what that might entail. Ask them to RSVP by a certain date – a week or two in the future should give them enough time – and chase them if they haven’t replied by this date.

STAG HACK

Rather than finding your inbox flooded with RSVPs from stags, ask them to fill in a quick and simple online poll to determine who is available when. Doodle.com is a good tool for this: simply follow the instructions, add the potential party dates and email the link to the stags. Once everyone has filled it in, you’ll be able to see which dates are the most popular and when would be best to hold the party.

SAMPLE EMAIL TO STAGS

Dear Stags,

Some of you know me, but for those who don’t – Hi! I’m [insert groom-to-be’s name here]’s best friend/brother/best man and have been asked to sort out his stag do, to which you have been invited!

We’re looking at a few dates in [insert month(s) here] and it would be great if you could follow this link and let me know your availability [insert Doodle poll link here].