LADY SUSAN VERNON TO MRS. JOHNSON
Langford
You were mistaken, my dear Alicia, in supposing me fixed at this
place for the rest of the winter: it grieves me to say how greatly
you were mistaken, for I have seldom spent three months more
agreeably than those which have just flown away. At present,
nothing goes smoothly; the females of the family are united against
me. You foretold how it would be when I first came to Langford, and
Mainwaring is so uncommonly pleasing that I was not without
apprehensions for myself. I remember saying to myself, as I drove
to the house, "I like this man, pray Heaven no harm come of it!"
But I was determined to be discreet, to bear in mind my being only
four months a widow, and to be as quiet as possible: and I have
been so, my dear creature; I have admitted no one's attentions but
Mainwaring's. I have avoided all general flirtation whatever; I
have distinguished no creature besides, of all the numbers
resorting hither, except Sir James Martin, on whom I bestowed a
little notice, in order to detach him from Miss Mainwaring; but, if
the world could know my motive THERE they would honour me. I have
been called an unkind mother, but it was the sacred impulse of
maternal affection, it was the advantage of my daughter that led me
on; and if that daughter were not the greatest simpleton on earth,
I might have been rewarded for my exertions as I ought.
Sir James did make proposals to me for Frederica; but Frederica,
who was born to be the torment of my life, chose to set herself so
violently against the match that I thought it better to lay aside
the scheme for the present. I have more than once repented that I
did not marry him myself; and were he but one degree less
contemptibly weak I certainly should: but I must own myself rather
romantic in that respect, and that riches only will not satisfy me.
The event of all this is very provoking: Sir James is gone, Maria
highly incensed, and Mrs. Mainwaring insupportably jealous; so
jealous, in short, and so enraged against me, that, in the fury of
her temper, I should not be surprized at her appealing to her
guardian, if she had the liberty of addressing him: but there your
husband stands my friend; and the kindest, most amiable action of
his life was his throwing her off for ever on her marriage. Keep up
his resentment, therefore, I charge you. We are now in a sad state;
no house was ever more altered; the whole party are at war, and
Mainwaring scarcely dares speak to me. It is time for me to be
gone; I have therefore determined on leaving them, and shall spend,
I hope, a comfortable day with you in town within this week. If I
am as little in favour with Mr. Johnson as ever, you must come to
me at 10 Wigmore street; but I hope this may not be the case, for
as Mr. Johnson, with all his faults, is a man to whom that great
word "respectable" is always given, and I am known to be so
intimate with his wife, his slighting me has an awkward look.
I take London in my way to that insupportable spot, a country
village; for I am really going to Churchhill. Forgive me, my dear
friend, it is my last resource. Were there another place in England
open to me I would prefer it. Charles Vernon is my aversion; and I
am afraid of his wife. At Churchhill, however, I must remain till I
have something better in view. My young lady accompanies me to
town, where I shall deposit her under the care of Miss Summers, in
Wigmore street, till she becomes a little more reasonable. She will
made good connections there, as the girls are all of the best
families. The price is immense, and much beyond what I can ever
attempt to pay.
Adieu, I will send you a line as soon as I arrive in town.
Yours ever,
S. Vernon