How to become more confident, relaxed and meaningful
© 2017
Oryx Publishers
www.oryx-publishers.com
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All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrievable system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the copyright owner.
ISBN 978-99916-786-0-0
This book is for people who may not have the time or the opportunity to attend Presentation Workshops or Speech Skills Courses, yet still want to be effective public speakers.
It is for anyone who is, from time to time, asked to deliver a speech or presentation, to share a devotion with a bible study group, or to make an announcement at a social gathering or a sports club event. It is for those who deliver training sessions to small groups of people, sermons to congregations, or inspirational talks at conventions.
It is for those of you who have a passion for a topic, who want to get through to an audience, who want to make a difference with a message, who need the audience to understand and act on a message, and who want to inspire and touch people’s hearts with a life-changing powerful message.
I see many clients who have to deliver a speech, but many of them have never been trained or coached how to do it. Most clients have all the reasons for why they are hopeless at public speaking: they are introverts, they do not want to be in front of an audience, they are poor communicators, or they are too shy. The biggest obstacle that most clients share with me is fear: fear of the unknown situation, fear of failure, fear of making a fool of themselves, fear of losing their place, fear of striking a blank, or fear of being criticised by the audience. The good news, however, is that each one of them has succeeded in improving their skills and confidence levels.
If you identify with any one of these challenges, then this book is for you.
This book will teach you how to present yourself and your message.
Have you ever thought about the fact that your entire life is very much about presentations?
What wisdom can we get from the depths of the word presentation itself?
Let us define the word:
Giving a talk, no matter how long or short, is about someone communicating something to someone else with a specific purpose in mind.
Standing in front of an audience is, without a doubt, a presentation, but it is not the only kind of presentation that exists. A shop window is a presentation. The label on a can of beans is a presentation. The way a teenager acts and dresses is a presentation. The way you dress for work, for church, for a concert, or to go shopping, are all presentations. The car you drive may be a presentation. An advertisement is a presentation. The way goods are arranged in a shop is a presentation. A report handed to your boss is a presentation. Your posture and behaviour during a job interview is a presentation.
My definition consists of six concepts:
I would like to share some thoughts on these six concepts, as well as prompt your thinking.
You are the ‘someone’ that this book is addressing.
You either want to or have to give a presentation, a talk, a speech, a sermon or devotion.
The fact that you are reading this book is an indication that you want to learn more about the subject. You want to get it right.
Perhaps you are nervous about speaking in public, and you want to get to the point where you can enjoy public speaking.
You want to be successful in what you are doing. You want to reach the hearts and minds of your audience.
It is you, to a large degree, who will determine how much you learn and how much of your learning you actually apply.
Look inwards: Do you know your own strengths and weaknesses? Do you believe that you have a message that needs to be shared? Do you realise that there are things you can learn to overcome your obstacles? Are you willing to believe that you can become confident about this?
Look forwards: Know that you can learn and improve yourself.
As you work through this book, I will be taking the journey alongside you.
You can really do this.
Communication is a complex subject. Surprisingly, it is also a subject in which many of us are hopelessly undertrained.
Communication implies that a message is sent by a sender to a receiver. Communication is generally only regarded as being successful when the receiver understands and interprets the message correctly, as intended by the sender. Only receiving the message is not enough.
In some situations, you can consider your communication to be successful when your audience is obviously convinced of your message, or when they are moved decisively into action or change.
Look at communication as a holistic process.
Successful communication requires synergy between you and your audience.
It requires you to know what you want to achieve with your message and which channel to use to put it across. It requires you to know how to use your voice and mime, and it requires you to become aware of the hidden messages you have unknowingly sent to your audience.
You will find out more about this intriguing process in the following pages.
When you communicate, you have something to say. I have seen too many presentations where people either really had nothing to say or they did not know what on earth they were talking about. I guess not many of us will give a talk if we feel that we have nothing to say.
If the previous sentence is true (and I believe it is), then it is worth thinking about why it happens that while you are sure you have something to say, your audience thinks otherwise.
Look critically at your contents. Do you have something new, surprising, or challenging to share with your audience? Do not try to hide ignorance or work poorly done behind flashy animated slides. You will not fool your audience. Present information, not just data!
Focus on the point you want to make. Provide the required setting, support your information, come to the point, and shut up when it is time to stop!
You inevitably address your presentation or talk to others. Your audience may be one person or it may be many people. You may present to a large group, yet really address only one crucial person in that group. You will seldom present to an entire group of complete strangers because, normally, before the presentation, you interact with at least some of the persons in the group. This interaction can be regarded as part of your presentation.
What happens between people before, during, and after the talk is often as important as the presentation itself. Are you aware of the importance of building and maintaining relationships? How you relate to people will have a large influence on your success.
Packaging your message effectively requires you, the sender, to find out and understand certain things about your intended receiver. Use this knowledge to address the appropriate people in the most appropriate way! I will show you how.
There must be some reason why you are doing this. Do you know what you want to achieve with your talk? It could be that you have been instructed to do it, but you do not see the purpose. Perhaps you are trying to sell an idea, a product, or a service. Perhaps you want to impress people. Perhaps you want to impart knowledge and understanding. Perhaps you want to reach people’s hearts with a life-changing message. Knowing what it is you want your message to achieve paves the way to being successful in achieving it.
We do many things without really thinking about it. However, it is essential that we are mindful of our attitude before we speak in public. For instance, are you aware of your attitude towards your topic? Is it positive? Are you comprehensive about it? Are you aware of your attitude towards your audience? Do you perhaps have any prejudices towards a particular audience? This book will challenge you to apply your mind when preparing presentations. Be mindful when it comes to offending people, as this is one of the quickest ways to achieve what you do not want. Understand people’s individual sensitivities as well as their interactions with each other. Become aware. Be open to feedback and learn from it. You, too, can be successful! You will soon find many of these answers!
Let me conclude by saying that there is no universally right way to present. You must find the way that works for you – the way that decisively expresses your individual style. Of course, there are some techniques you need to master, some basics you need to work on to get it right, but beyond that, it is you. Everyone can organise flashy slides, great animation, super sound and other fancy techniques, but it is only you who can convey your individual stamp, your flair, and your knowledge.
This makes all the difference!
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Daunting experiences are ever present in our lives and for public speakers, having to prepare for and finally stand in front of a gathering of expectant listeners is, undoubtedly, one of them.
While preparing a talk, how often does it happen that you suddenly begin to panic because you feel lost? You are no longer sure whether you are on track, and time is running out. When entering the spotlight, how often does it happen that stage fright begins to creep up your spine? All you can think about is what might go wrong. While looking at your audience, how often does it happen, all of a sudden, that you realise you have lost them? Your message does not reach them because your language is not their language.
If this is you, this book will help you enormously as it offers a wealth of practical tools and useful information. Silke von Seydlitz has produced a clear and concise manual that deals with all the important aspects of public speaking and effective presentation techniques. Step-by-step, she guides you through the ABCs of effective communication. In order to develop powerful talks, speeches or presentations, you need to prepare well. Such preparation includes not only thorough research of the occasion and your audience, but also emotional and physical training. The daily lives of those who are required to speak regularly to smaller or bigger audiences are usually fast, busy and loaded with stress. Knowing how to relax the mind and muscles, to breathe correctly, and to use the full potential of the voice is crucial for every public speaker and presenter. In this book, you will find a variety of practical relaxation and breathing exercises that will help you to prepare your mind and body in such a way that you become an effective communicator.
Dr Thorsten Prill, Senior Lecturer, Namibia Evangelical Theological Seminary (NETS), Windhoek
John Henry Patterson said: “To get your ideas across, use small words, big ideas, and short sentences.” [1]
So then, how do we get our ideas across? Just as there are countless ways to shape a hedge, so is there a wealth of available resources that teach you how to present professionally, and how to speak well in public. Even so, there is wisdom in understanding what it is that makes speakers likable. Why does one speaker win the crowd, but another does not seem to get the message across? An audience decides whether to open its heart and ears to you within the first one to two minutes. Two important factors determine this:
Think about hawkers who extol their various goods at trade fairs, bazaars, and market places. What they have to offer is, of course, not stuff for the motivational speech of the year but they manage to attract the gathering crowds to their stalls. Why are they so popular? It is their lively, vivid, and humorous way of presenting their goods! I am not saying that you should copy hawkers but, certainly, we can all learn from them. People open their hearts and ears to a likable, interesting, and enjoyable speaker. The unsympathetic speaker reaps reserve.
Rolf-Dieter Wiedenmann says: “Most of the time, how you present yourself and how you speak is more important to your audience than what you say.” [2]
What are the pointers you need to observe to enable people to experience you as a likable speaker?
I will discuss ten methods that many of my clients have found very useful.
Do you enjoy listening to a speech, a presentation, or a sermon that you can understand straightaway without having to make sense of what the speaker is trying to say? Which speakers do you appreciate more: those you can hear well, or the softly-spoken ones?
I am sure you have experienced speakers who are really hard to understand. Have you ever experienced the situation where you have had to strain your ears to hear what was being said, and while you were still trying to figure out what had been said the next sentence was already being hurled at you? Listening should not be hard work for the audience. People tend to switch off when it gets too difficult to understand. Also, it should not be so soft that the people who are a bit hard of hearing cannot hear you. When you speak loudly enough to serve all listeners’ hearing abilities, you are on target.
So, work on speaking clearly and audibly.
Some audiences you speak to will have an above average education, others will be in the middle, and some may come from a lower education background. Make sure that you construct your message in such a way that everybody can follow. I have never come out of a talk where I have thought, ‘the level at which that talk was pitched was too low for me.’ However, I have sat through talks that were absolutely way above my head. Remember, if your listeners do not catch what you say, straightaway, they do not have another chance to ‘get it’. They cannot go back. A speech is not like a written document that can be referred back to for clarification of the missing parts. Say what you want to say simply and concisely. Say one thing after the other. Follow a logical outline. Get to the point. Outline your core message and then give the detail. This way, the listener can follow your line of thinking. It is important that you lead the listener to ‘tune in’ to your message.
Do you appreciate speakers who throw information at you in a staccato way? No? Picture this: you are still busy digesting the speaker’s current thought when the next one is launched at you. You hardly get time to take it in. What happens? There is no faster way to lose your listeners’ attention! Usually when we speak too fast, we communicate little of value. Practice pauses.
Pauses play an important role in your communication:
Your listeners will easily forget the facts you have presented, but they will hardly forget the stories you shared with them, the examples you gave them, or the pictures you showed them. Once they think of these, they will certainly remember the gist of your presentation. Stimulate your listeners’ imagination. Paint pictures in their minds. Rouse their ‘thought-cinema’ into action. By doing this, you will keep their attention. It is much more pleasurable for them to listen to you when you are interesting.
You can safely assume that your audience attends your speech or presentation because they want to hear your message. They do not want to have to concentrate too hard. They do not want to work hard at remembering something you have stated. The problem is that once listeners have lost you, they are lost. Short, crisp sentences do the trick. Short sentences give the listeners a chance to catch what you are saying. They can follow you more easily. Say one thing at a time. Present one thought at a time. Take care to finish your sentences properly. Do not jump backwards and forwards. Take your listeners on a journey towards your argument. Remember, listening to a speech or presentation is not like reading a document that can be referred back to and re-read if they lose track.
This is the foundation of successful communication. Your attitude speaks louder than your words. Whatever your attitude is, your audience will pick it up. We all have the need to be respected. We all respond positively when we are made to feel welcome. We all need our self-esteem to be kept intact. Therefore, be sure to check your attitude towards your audience. Ask yourself how you feel about your speaking assignment. Your listeners are more likely to accept new concepts and ideas when you make them feel at ease.
Continuously ask yourself:
What effect does it have on you if a speaker grinds through a speech in a monotonous manner? Is it not simply exhausting? The voice carries a lot of meaning during communication! You want to catch and maintain your listeners’ attention, not put them to sleep. Therefore, you will do well to exercise your voice. Only then can you communicate a credible message. Your voice communicates something of your personality. Familiarise yourself with your text before you speak. Decide what needs emphasis in each sentence, and then use your voice to sculpt that particular meaning in each sentence.