in fall.

today was much easier

the dry tears beneath my eyes

represent the need to no longer mourn you

this morning wasn’t as hard as the last

and tonight, i find comfort

beneath the stars

whispering my truth to the moon

using the darkness of the night

as blankets to cover my restless soul

the stars are showing their lights upon me

and i feel free

i am free from you

alone with you.

loneliness was the reason

i held on to you

and holding on to you

was the loneliest thing

i had ever done

lions.

they threw her into the lion’s den

and instead of feeling fearful

she tamed the beasts

the only way.

she was strong

but she was tired

and walking away

became her only option

like home.

in a world

where everyone left me

out in the cold

you felt like home

you felt like love

they fear you.

they’re afraid of women

who refuse to sit quietly

when force-fed a bunch of bullshit

they fear strong women

and so they call them bitches

as if their strength is an issue

the appeal.

her sex appeal

went far beyond

the walls of any bedroom

offering.

she deserved the world

and all you ever gave her

was a town filled with misery

nagging.

she wasn’t nagging

she was just demanding

you to do more

than you were willing to

just myself.

for so long

my best relationship

was with myself

when people let me down

all i had was me

sacred.

she built a wall in front of her heart

because she knew her love was sacred

you and your story.

women are living poems

poetry in motion

stories of tragedy and strength

pages of imperfection

the most beautiful stories

you’d ever read

soul first.

fall in love with my soul first

then from there

discover more ways to love me

he’s not.

he’s not a prize

nor has he ever been a gift

don’t let him exaggerate

his importance

to your life

sharp.

women with sharp tongues

cut through weak men

like knives to bread

the friend.

by the time you believe

he’s yours

he’ll be wrapped between the legs

of the woman

he told you was just a friend

just trust me.

the one they’ll cheat with

is the one they’ll say

you shouldn’t worry about

and they’ll always request your trust

while betraying you

in ways you’d never believe

with ease.

you are not difficult to love

your soul mate will love you

with ease

fresh hell.

you were just like my last

you were exactly like the one

before you

you promised me heaven

but you were simply a newer version

of the hell that i’ve known

many times before

nonsense, your love.

what is there to love

about a person who doesn’t love you

how are you in love

with someone who hasn’t provided

anything for you to love

better now.

i think i’m better now

i crack smiles and really mean it

i laugh louder than i had before

the thought of you doesn’t hurt

i think of you and i smile

losing you was not a loss

you walked away, i dodged a bullet

you left my life and now i’m free

another decoy.

you were just a false representation

of the love that i once thought you

were capable of providing

tales of detachment.

it was never instant

i think when you tell people

it ended

they assume that it was easy

like an axe to wood

it took several swings

to detach myself from you

you broke me down

and so i began the tiring process

of severing our soul ties

in an effort to set my essence free

i walked away

only to return

to your empty promises

of change

asking myself why

unsure of my own strength

telling others

that it was easier said than done

until i finally did it

it was never instant

it was so fucking hard

but damn it, i tell you

it was worth it

the past lingers.

your past loves

still linger on your breath

their dead skin

under your nails

as you once attempted

to scratch your way

to the surface of their hearts

with hopes of finding something

some indication of their feelings for you

giving yourself to those

who had nothing to provide

but a penetration that never satisfied you

to completion

keepsakes in boxes and bags

like little museums

displaying the proof

of relationships that fell short

of what you aspired to create

you were trying to fill yourself

with their emptiness

detached from reality

their lies became your religion

and like thieves

they stole from you

then disappeared into the darkness

of every night

leaving you broken

blaming yourself

wondering what you did wrong

as they did nothing right

ease the pain.

all the things

that make you happy

are either harmful

or temporary

and that’s what truly hurts

self-medicating the pain

using things or people

that may partially destroy

more of who we are