CHAPTER 1

WHY DO I ‘AVE TO BE THE UNICORN?

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! squeeed the pumpkin alarm clock at first light.

Amelia Fang stretched and scrambled out of her coffin. Her pet pumpkin Squashy was bouncing around licking everyone excitedly.

‘Oh, Squashy,’ Amelia said through a yawn, ‘how are you so wide awake?’

‘SQUISH EVERYTHING!’ moaned Florence Spudwick, rolling over. Florence was a huge, rare breed of yeti, not to be confused with a beast. She was also one of Amelia’s best friends.

‘It can’t be time already?’ Grimaldi groaned, pulling his hood over his face. Grimaldi Reaperton was Death himself. But until he was older, he only dealt with the deaths of small creatures in Nocturnia, leaving the bigger creatures to his grimpapa.

It was the Halloween holidays and the sun had risen in the Kingdom of the Dark, which meant that every creature in Nocturnia and the scary suburbs would be going to bed – apart from Amelia Fang and her friends. They were about to embark on a very big quest to the Kingdom of the Light.

‘FLORENCE!’ said Prince Tangine La Floofle the First, clapping his hands twice. ‘I demand breakfast!’

‘DON’T CLAP ME!’ said Florence, clenching her big hairy fists.

‘Tangine,’ Amelia said with a sigh, ‘remember what we discussed. Try not to be so bossy.’

‘I keep forgetting,’ said Tangine sheepishly. ‘Can’t I be a leeeettle bit bossy?’

‘No!’ Amelia laughed. ‘We’re your friends .’

‘Maids.’ Tangine smiled.

‘Fur-riends,’ said Amelia.

Tangine took a deep breath. ‘Fuuur . . .’ He wiped his forehead. ‘Fuuur . . .’ he tried again. ‘Fuuurmaids? ’ He looked proud of himself.

‘That’s . . . progress,’ Amelia said.

When Amelia had first met Tangine, he had been quite mean to her and had stolen her pet pumpkin, Squashy. But it had turned out that Prince Tangine had been lonely and just wanted a friend. Tangine had grown up all alone in the palace with only Mummy Maids for company. He did have a mother – she was a fairy named Fairyweather. Tragically, Fairyweather had mysteriously disappeared when Tangine was just a baby. Prince Tangine’s father, King Vladimir, had been so sad about his wife’s disappearance that he had neglected his kingdom and Tangine, spending years searching in vain for her. This meant that not only had Tangine grown into rather a spoilt sprout (which was why he thought that it was perfectly OK to steal poor Squashy) but also that he was half-vampire, half-fairy. This big secret of Tangine’s was something that would have terrified most Creatures of the Dark. But Amelia had discovered that Creatures of the Light weren’t as scary as they had all been told. It turns out that fairies did not steal your fangs and unicorns did not shoot killer rainbows from their bottoms.

‘I’m so tired, I’m not sure I can cope with being awake during the day,’ said Grimaldi.

‘We’ll get used to it,’ Amelia reassured him.

As Amelia and her friends made their way along the corridor of the Fang Mansion, an eruption of laughter came from below, followed by a large belch. Amelia’s dad, Count Drake the Third, slowly floated bottom-first out of the dining room and up towards the ceiling.

‘I WIN!’ he yelled. ‘I wiiiiin ! I put you in the grave, and then passed the Troll Bridge where I collected two hundred Goblin Slime Points!’

King Vladimir then swayed into view with a hiccup. He also began to float up towards the ceiling. ‘INCORRECT, Drake, me ol’ knee-flapper!’ BELCH . ‘I was ON the Troll Bridge way before you got there because I used my Wolf Howl card combined with the Lightning Bolt bonus point I’d saved up . . .’

‘You both lose,’ called Amelia’s mum, Countess Frivoleeta. ‘I got the Total Eclipse card. LOOK! ’ She waved an elaborate-looking card in front of their faces.

‘Bother!’ said the count and King Vladimir together. They hugged each other and slowly rotated 360 degrees, before floating back down to ground level.

‘Muuuum! ’ called Amelia from upstairs. ‘It’s first light. Didn’t you realise?’

‘Creeping crevices, you’re right!’ the countess shrieked. ‘We got carried away playing Dungeons and Daymares! I can’t believe it’s that time already!’ The adults clambered up the stairs.

King Vladimir had cheered up a lot since Amelia and her friends offered to help search for Fairyweather. He’d been searching alone for so long. Now he had help, and more importantly, hope .

In preparation for their risky quest to the Kingdom of the Light, the countess had made Amelia, Florence, Grimaldi and the king clever disguises to wear on their travels. As far as the Creatures of the Light were still concerned, vampires sucked their blood and yetis crushed their bones.

Squashy, disguised as a big daisy, pa-doinged in excitement while Amelia gave a little twirl in her fairy costume.

‘It’s not bad . . .’ she said, admiring her glittery wings. ‘But aren’t I a bit big to be a fairy?’

‘Nonsense!’ said the king. ‘Fairies come in all shapes and sizes. Some rather large, and some teeny-weeny. My Fairyweather was about the length of my arm. A great size for hugging,’ he said with a smile.

‘WHY DO I ’AVE TO BE THE UNICORN?’ said Florence, straightening her horn as Grimaldi studied his angel-kitten tail nervously.

Tangine admired his (real) fairy wings in one of the countess’s many mirrors. ‘I think I look AMAZING!’ he exclaimed. ‘Dad, did you ever dress in disguise when you used to travel to the Kingdom of the Light on your own?’

‘I tried,’ said the king. ‘But I had nobody to help me and I’m terrible at sewing. I tried to make a unicorn costume myself, but it fell apart en route to the Fairy Forest and I was left stranded . . . how do I put this?’ The king paused. ‘Completely nude.’

Everybody erupted with laughter. ‘KING IN THE NUD!’ Florence bellowed. Then she punched the wall and dented it.

‘Yes, yes, calm down,’ said the king, his normally pale cheeks flushed.

‘But . . . couldn’t the Mummy Maids have helped make you a disguise?’ said Amelia through snorts of laughter.

‘PAH!’ It was the king’s turn to chortle. ‘Have you ever seen a Mummy Maid try to use a sewing machine? They’d sew their heads together!’

‘Don’t fear, your highness, this time I’ve made you the perfect disguise, and I promise it won’t fall apart.’ The countess beamed. She handed the king a pair of spotty wings.

‘Um . . .’ The king looked awkwardly at the disguise. ‘Is that a ladybird costume?’

‘Correct!’ Countess Frivoleeta smiled and curtseyed. ‘A terrifying ladybird costume!’ She looked very proud of herself.

‘I may be a tad large to pass as a ladybird,’ murmured the king, pulling his costume on.

Youuuu aaaare dead, you are dead! Grimaldi’s diePhone rang out from his pocket, letting him know some poor creature needed his services.

‘I’m not sure you’ll get a signal while we’re in the Kingdom of the Light,’ said the king. ‘Your grimpapa says he’ll make sure any squished toads are taken care of while you’re away.’

‘Thank you, your majesty,’ said Grimaldi, handing the diePhone to Countess Frivoleeta for safe keeping.

The countess put it in her pocket, then wrapped Amelia in her arms. The scent of her mother’s new Slug Slime-Trail perfume was overpowering. ‘Oh, Amelia. Be safe out there, won’t you?’

‘I will, Mum, don’t worry.’ Amelia smiled.

‘YEH, WE GOT A MASSIVE LADYBIRD TO KEEP US SAFE!’ Florence chuckled.

‘And if you see any crossword puzzles in the Kingdom of the Light, do bring some back. I love a new challenge!’ said the count.

‘Now, Tangine, do you have the map of the Kingdom of the Light?’ said the king.

‘I gave it to Florence because she likes maps.’ Tangine blushed.

‘DON’T WORRY, I’M KEEPIN’ IT SAFE,’ replied Florence. ‘ROLLED IT UP ALL NICE INSIDE MY UNICORN ’ORN.’

‘Excellent!’ said the king. Then, from inside his ladybird wing, he pulled out a scrap of glittery parchment: the clue he had found in the Petrified Forest the night Queen Fairyweather had gone missing.

It read:

‘GLITTEROPOLIS, the city where the sun never goes down, and your dreams always come true . . .’

‘Let’s go and find Glitteropolis!’ said the king.

‘Now, where’s the right door?’ asked the countess.

The doors in the Fang Mansion tended to move around a lot. It was a matter of skill – and a dollop of good luck – to know which door led where.

‘Here it is,’ she announced, gesturing to a wooden door covered with vines. ‘If I remember correctly, this should lead you to the edge of the Petrified Forest, and according to the king’s map—’

‘THE KINGDOM OF LIGHT BORDERS THE FOREST,’ Florence finished proudly.

‘Well, here goes,’ said Amelia, opening the door. She reached up to her head and gave Squashy a reassuring pat.

King Vladimir ruffled Tangine’s hair. ‘Come on, son, let’s go and find Mum!’