reading

Illustrations by Kostiantyn Fedorov
Front cover images © Nigel French/Shutterstock.com; LOVEgraphic/Shutterstock.com; Sim Va/Shutterstock.com
Back cover images © focal point/Shutterstock.com; Mile Atanasov/Shutterstock.com

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Welcome to the world of being a student! Where gaining knowledge is top priority and partying follows closely behind. The majority of your time at uni will be spent moaning about lectures, then about exams and assignments, and then about how skint you are every month. But don’t worry, you’re guaranteed to have the best, most fulfilling time of your life. And to prevent you from moaning too much, this nifty book will be your go-to for many of your being-responsible-and-mature needs. With low-budget tips and tricks on all aspects of student living, from turning your laptop bag into a rucksack to opening a bottle of wine without a corkscrew, you’ll go from fresher to know-it-all before your first semester even begins.

Are you always forgetting your timetable and what room your lecture is in? Is changing the sheets a massive chore that takes double the time it should? This chapter offers you the most essential hacks around to help you survive in style.

Is your alarm just that bit too quiet to wake you from your peaceful slumber whenever you have to be up for uni? Make sure you never sleep in again with this hack.

Cut a slot in a toilet roll tube big enough to fit your phone, and stop the roll from rolling away by sticking some drawing pins into the tube to act as feet. As well as creating a docking station, you’ve also created an amplifier (this can be used when you want to play loud music too).

SCHEDULE SCHEDULER

Never miss a class with this hack. When you receive your timetable for the year, screenshot it and save it as your background photo on your phone. If you’re in bed and you’ve forgotten if you need to attend a lecture, all you have to do is stretch across and you’ll have the answer right at your fingertips.

CHANGING THE DUVET COVER

Sick of wasting time trying to change your bed sheets? You need this hack.

Turn the duvet cover inside out, with the open side at the bottom of the bed, and spread it out on your mattress. Place the duvet on top and make sure all the corners are aligned. Starting at the top, roll the cover and duvet up, like you would a Swiss roll. Once you’ve rolled them, flip the duvet cover over one end of the ‘Swiss roll’ to expose the correct side of it. Then repeat on the other side, and then in the middle. Now unroll your bedding to reveal a beautifully made bed.

You’re a student. Your memory should be good. At least that’s what you think until you get to the supermarket without a list and then you have to bumble through the aisles wondering what you need.

Save yourself from looking like a lemon in the lemon aisle by taking a photo of your fridge and freezer compartments to remind yourself of what you’ve run out of.

Does your laptop turn into the biggest first-world problem when you have to lug it to class every day? Say goodbye to the achy shoulder and lop-sided walk with this helpful hack.

Extend the strap on your laptop case to maximum length then unclasp one of the ends. Feed it through the handle of the laptop case then clasp the strap back in its original place. Hold the bag by the two ends of the strap and put it on your back like you would a rucksack. Happy days!

MICROWAVE SPACE MAXIMISER

Microwaves save the day (but mainly time) when you want to quickly whip something up. But if you want to cook more than one item you usually have to do them separately, which then doubles the cooking time.

To solve this issue, decant your food into two bowls and place the second bowl in the microwave on top of a mug. Voila! Your food is ready in half the time.

You’re trying to read a textbook twice the size of you and the pages have a mind of their own. Keep them securely in place by clipping together the ones you’ve read with a binder clip. This should also act as a paperweight, leaving your hands free for all-important note-taking.

If you don’t have a desk in your room to work at and you rest your laptop on your legs instead, use a lap tray with a cushion attached to put the laptop on. You will no longer have to endure the continual rush of hot air from the fan that leaves you sweating.

LAPTOP COOLER

Has your laptop ever overheated just sentences before you’re about to finish an assignment? It’s frustrating, especially if you didn’t save your work (in which case you are just a fool). Prevent this from happening again by placing it on a couple of cardboard egg cartons. Sometimes all it needs is a little TLC.

DIY CORKSCREW

There’s nothing worse when you’re all set for pre-dinner drinks but you’ve bought a bottle of wine with a cork instead of a screw cap, and no one’s got a corkscrew. Remove the fear of not being able to drink with your mates with this hack.

Find a trainer and put the bottom end of the bottle of wine in it. Find a sturdy wall and holding both bottle and shoe, securely bang the sole of the trainer against the wall. You should see the cork slowly move. Once it’s in a grabbable position, pull the cork out of the bottle and pour a glass with a smug look on your face.

If you don’t have a corkscrew, a shoe or a wall, how on earth do you survive each day (see page 22)?! But no need to fear, as there’s another hack for removing a cork from a wine bottle without a corkscrew (we’ve all been desperate at times!).