Kimi Turró Abad
I love you, thank you
TOC
Kimi Turró Abad
Adrià’s friends
Foreword
Introduction
Trainers
Adrià to his family,
“Rocky” to his friends
The gift
Who was Kimi?
Incredulity, impotence, accepance and help
A revelation and five experiences:
A holy moment / a revelation
The therapy
Forgiveness
The value of time
The letter
First personal growth workshop
Ho’oponopono
Who is Kimi now?
Epilogue
Aknowledgements
Credits
Kimi Turró Abad
Born in Roses on 25th March 1960. I currently live in Banyoles.
Who am I?
I am, simply, a mother who has mourned for her son. A mother who has lived in darkness, searched for the answer to many questions and who, thanks to a positive attitude and a will to succeed, has made the impossible possible. The purpose of my life is now to spread love, because love and gratitude are the only answer to everything.
kimicor.com
I dedicate this book to the four most important men in my life: Pere, for his kindness and for being the father of my children; David, for all the love I receive from him every day; Quim, for being, besides my son-in-law, my best friend; and Adrià, for being my inspirational angel.
Adrià’s friends
“We’ll always remember you as being the life and soul of the bar. An essential support for us all. We’ll never forget your ‘Woooo’ as you flew down on your bike and went straight to your favourite seat. Or how easily you could make us all smile. And a thousand other things. Thank you for having shared a small part of our life. We will never forget you, Rocky!”
Júlia Blanquera
“From time to time the whole gang went skiing. I’ll always remember those mornings he was waiting for me in the town’s main square with his snowboard and we got the bus together. Whenever we both went, the day was packed with laughter and giggles, those days skiing were different just because he was there.”
Irene González
“I could share so many stories, memories, details, moments, situations. But if I have to get to the most essential, I would say the transparency of your eyes, the naturalness of your being, the sincerity of your smile, the calmness of your behaviour, those hugs full of friendship and respect, the humility of your constant support. So, if I could give you a present, I’d give you the ability to see yourself through my own eyes. Only then will you see how special you were.”
Pol Fresneda
“How I remember that smile of his leaving school each afternoon, flying home and finding him there in his untouchable chair, and all those afternoons chatting along with those goblins of ours who lived in the chimney.”
Tina
“When I get to thinking about Adrià, many memories come to mind and I can’t stop a huge smile from forming on my face. We shared so much when we were teenagers, it’s when you experiment the most and want to take on the world. The bar was where all those mad ideas started. But if I dust down those experiences that really stay with me, it’s when I see a friendship that began when we were little. Endless shared afternoons in the square after school, waiting for our mothers to shut their shops. It was pretty monotonous, but the routine of going to buy bread at Can Carbó and then getting the butcher to make us a sandwich was a great one, and we missed it when we didn’t do it. Playing all afternoon long without a care in the world, that’s how I really remember Adrià! The square was ours, we played and chatted with all the shopkeepers, especially with our ally ‘Brugui’, and we helped the traffic wardens give out parking tickets, even to my mother!
“Remembering is healthy and good, but at the same time I also feel sad and totally impotent now that there’s no going back. But memories, photos and material things help us feel that he’s close and can carry on being a part of our lives.”
Pere Sánchez
Foreword
I met Kimi through a Ho’oponopono healing circle. Although we couldn’t chat for long, she explained that, while she lived in Banyoles and was very busy, she was sure that she wanted to know more about Ho’oponopono and take part in other activities I organised. From that day on, her expressive smile and red hair have been part of my professional life, and, over time, when I got to know her better, part of my soul family.
Kimi is an extraordinary woman, with an immense capacity for love and a contagious happiness that is surprising when you know the painful loss she has suffered. This book is the story of journey from the blackness of mourning, written from the deepest pain of a heart broken by loss to the rebirth of love and the joy of life. It is a hymn to life, friendship and, above all, the humble acceptance of those things that we can’t change, to give ourselves over to the will of what is most holy in us. It is then, with every step we take, that we find those people, opportunities and certainties that lead us to getting back that serenity and inner peace that give our existence a new and deeper meaning.
With great savoir faire, Kimi shows us the steps we have to take to achieve this. She has been able to transform pain into love, she has gone through the long dark night of the soul that the loss of a child means and has woken up to a new life. Facing every day with courage and determination, she has overcome the incredibly difficult challenge of putting a heart that has been broken back together and, despite the pain, living with love, joy and gratitude. Not only has she been able to do this, but she has also written this book in order to share her experience with those who, like her, have gone through the same suffering.
It is an honour for me to form part of this project, and I am sure that it will bring light to those many hearts that live in darkness hoping to find that lighthouse that Kimi shows us, and set out on that journey back to a life that is full of love, joy and gratitude.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Mª Carmen Martínez Tomás
Introduction
Firstly, I would like to thank you for having bought this book. I speak to you all because I believe that every reader can find a ray of light or something to reflect upon; but the book is mainly aimed at those who have been, or are in, a deep well that seems full of nothing but darkness and suffering. I would humbly like to transmit the idea that, if you want to, you can find the light and the excitement of living life again.
You will find a lot of pain in this book. I don’t want to make you cry or go into a world that, while we all know it exists, we avoid talking about since it terrifies us. To some extent, it is also a way of becoming aware of who we really are.
It is very hard for me to relive the suffering that the death of Adrià, my son, caused, but I have to do it to be able to show my transformation, my change to ‘I want to feel good again’, which is what has brought me to this new life in which I feel complete and happy. I won’t deny that the path is long, but the only way to take it is walking and having your goal clear. Mine was to see the light, laugh, and leave the darkness in which I was trapped behind me.
What I would like to transmit is that my achievement has been to turn the deepest pain into love, I realised that there are only two ways to live life; one is through love, the other through fear. I chose to live it through the energy of love and gratitude. I had to stop asking myself why I’d had to go through the experience of Adrià’s death, why my son had had such a short life. I changed those questions into ‘How can I get through this?’ and ‘How can I learn to move through this new life?’
I can’t change a fact. It has happened, and has been terrible, and of course there’s a pain that goes with it. However, I can choose to say ‘That’s enough feeling bad! I want to feel good again!’ I have all the right in the world to laugh, dance, jump, feel great and, above all, to feel joy in my heart once more.
As soon as I accepted everything that happened to me, I began to build a new reality with new thoughts and beliefs and everything changed. The ‘miracles’ began to happen; wonderful people came into my life, all unique and fantastic, and they gave me their hands so we could evolve together. I began to take personal growth courses and discovered a new world. I was no longer the same person. My little world began to get bigger and my heart expanded at the same time. I can remember a thousand hugs, conversations full of love and laughter, emotions, tears, trips (short but intense), retreats that I’ve shared with incredible people, and unforgettable experiences.
Adrià is in my heart and we laugh together, and I can assure you we do this well. The louder my laughter, the closer I feel him. He wants to see his mother overflowing with new goals and joy; a mother who wants to live intensely and enjoy every moment the Universe offers her. This is me now, a Kimi who has learnt that everything starts with a thought and an emotion. Someone who wants this emotion to be packed with all the colours of the rainbow, of all the wonders that come day after day through those people who vibrate like her.
I can, you can, we all can!
Trainers
