ANNE LISBETH was a beautiful young woman, with a red and
white complexion, glittering white teeth, and clear soft eyes; and
her footstep was light in the dance, but her mind was lighter
still. She had a little child, not at all pretty; so he was put out
to be nursed by a laborer's wife, and his mother went to the
count's castle. She sat in splendid rooms, richly decorated with
silk and velvet; not a breath of air was allowed to blow upon her,
and no one was allowed to speak to her harshly, for she was nurse
to the count's child. He was fair and delicate as a prince, and
beautiful as an angel; and how she loved this child! Her own boy
was provided for by being at the laborer's where the mouth watered
more frequently than the pot boiled, and where in general no one
was at home to take care of the child. Then he would cry, but what
nobody knows nobody cares for; so he would cry till he was tired,
and then fall asleep; and while we are asleep we can feel neither
hunger nor thirst. Ah, yes; sleep is a capital
invention.
As years went on, Anne Lisbeth's child grew apace like
weeds, although they said his growth had been stunted. He had
become quite a member of the family in which he dwelt; they
received money to keep him, so that his mother got rid of him
altogether. She had become quite a lady; she had a comfortable home
of her own in the town; and out of doors, when she went for a walk,
she wore a bonnet; but she never walked out to see the laborer:
that was too far from the town, and, indeed, she had nothing to go
for, the boy now belonged to these laboring people. He had food,
and he could also do something towards earning his living; he took
care of Mary's red cow, for he knew how to tend cattle and make
himself useful.
The great dog by the yard gate of a nobleman's mansion
sits proudly on the top of his kennel when the sun shines, and
barks at every one that passes; but if it rains, he creeps into his
house, and there he is warm and dry. Anne Lisbeth's boy also sat in
the sunshine on the top of the fence, cutting out a little toy. If
it was spring-time, he knew of three strawberry-plants in blossom,
which would certainly bear fruit. This was his most hopeful
thought, though it often came to nothing. And he had to sit out in
the rain in the worst weather, and get wet to the skin, and let the
cold wind dry the clothes on his back afterwards. If he went near
the farmyard belonging to the count, he was pushed and knocked
about, for the men and the maids said he was so horrible ugly; but
he was used to all this, for nobody loved him. This was how the
world treated Anne Lisbeth's boy, and how could it be otherwise. It
was his fate to be beloved by no one. Hitherto he had been a land
crab; the land at last cast him adrift. He went to sea in a
wretched vessel, and sat at the helm, while the skipper sat over
the grog-can. He was dirty and ugly, half-frozen and half-starved;
he always looked as if he never had enough to eat, which was really
the case.
Late in the autumn, when the weather was rough, windy, and
wet, and the cold penetrated through the thickest clothing,
especially at sea, a wretched boat went out to sea with only two
men on board, or, more correctly, a man and a half, for it was the
skipper and his boy. There had only been a kind of twilight all
day, and it soon grew quite dark, and so bitterly cold, that the
skipper took a dram to warm him. The bottle was old, and the glass
too. It was perfect in the upper part, but the foot was broken off,
and it had therefore been fixed upon a little carved block of wood,
painted blue. A dram is a great comfort, and two are better still,
thought the skipper, while the boy sat at the helm, which he held
fast in his hard seamed hands. He was ugly, and his hair was
matted, and he looked crippled and stunted; they called him the
field-laborer's boy, though in the church register he was entered
as Anne Lisbeth's son. The wind cut through the rigging, and the
boat cut through the sea. The sails, filled by the wind, swelled
out and carried them along in wild career. It was wet and rough
above and below, and might still be worse. Hold! what is that? What
has struck the boat? Was it a waterspout, or a heavy sea rolling
suddenly upon them?
"Heaven help us!" cried the boy at the helm, as the boat
heeled over and lay on its beam ends. It had struck on a rock,
which rose from the depths of the sea, and sank at once, like an
old shoe in a puddle. "It sank at once with mouse and man," as the
saying is. There might have been mice on board, but only one man
and a half, the skipper and the laborer's boy. No one saw it but
the skimming sea-gulls and the fishes beneath the water; and even
they did not see it properly, for they darted back with terror as
the boat filled with water and sank. There it lay, scarcely a
fathom below the surface, and those two were provided for, buried,
and forgotten. The glass with the foot of blue wood was the only
thing that did not sink, for the wood floated and the glass drifted
away to be cast upon the shore and broken; where and when, is
indeed of no consequence. It had served its purpose, and it had
been loved, which Anne Lisbeth's boy had not been. But in heaven no
soul will be able to say, "Never loved."
Anne Lisbeth had now lived in the town many years; she was
called "Madame," and felt dignified in consequence; she remembered
the old, noble days, in which she had driven in the carriage, and
had associated with countess and baroness. Her beautiful, noble
child had been a dear angel, and possessed the kindest heart; he
had loved her so much, and she had loved him in return; they had
kissed and loved each other, and the boy had been her joy, her
second life. Now he was fourteen years of age, tall, handsome, and
clever. She had not seen him since she carried him in her arms;
neither had she been for years to the count's palace; it was quite
a journey thither from the town.
"I must make one effort to go," said Anne Lisbeth, "to see
my darling, the count's sweet child, and press him to my heart.
Certainly he must long to see me, too, the young count; no doubt he
thinks of me and loves me, as in those days when he would fling his
angel-arms round my neck, and lisp 'Anne Liz.' It was music to my
ears. Yes, I must make an effort to see him again." She drove
across the country in a grazier's cart, and then got out, and
continued her journey on foot, and thus reached the count's castle.
It was as great and magnificent as it had always been, and the
garden looked the same as ever; all the servants were strangers to
her, not one of them knew Anne Lisbeth, nor of what consequence she
had once been there; but she felt sure the countess would soon let
them know it, and her darling boy, too: how she longed to see
him!
Now that Anne Lisbeth was at her journey's end, she was
kept waiting a long time; and for those who wait, time passes
slowly. But before the great people went in to dinner, she was
called in and spoken to very graciously. She was to go in again
after dinner, and then she would see her sweet boy once more. How
tall, and slender, and thin he had grown; but the eyes and the
sweet angel mouth were still beautiful. He looked at her, but he
did not speak, he certainly did not know who she was. He turned
round and was going away, but she seized his hand and pressed it to
her lips.
"Well, well," he said; and with that he walked out of the
room. He who filled her every thought! he whom she loved best, and
who was her whole earthly pride!
Anne Lisbeth went forth from the castle into the public
road, feeling mournful and sad; he whom she had nursed day and
night, and even now carried about in her dreams, had been cold and
strange, and had not a word or thought respecting her. A great
black raven darted down in front of her on the high road, and
croaked dismally.
"Ah," said she, "what bird of ill omen art thou?"
Presently she passed the laborer's hut; his wife stood at the door,
and the two women spoke to each other.
"You look well," said the woman; "you're fat and plump;
you are well off."
"Oh yes," answered Anne Lisbeth.
"The boat went down with them," continued the woman; "Hans
the skipper and the boy were both drowned; so there's an end of
them. I always thought the boy would be able to help me with a few
dollars. He'll never cost you anything more, Anne
Lisbeth."
"So they were drowned," repeated Anne Lisbeth; but she
said no more, and the subject was dropped. She felt very
low-spirited, because her count-child had shown no inclination to
speak to her who loved him so well, and who had travelled so far to
see him. The journey had cost money too, and she had derived no
great pleasure from it. Still she said not a word of all this; she
could not relieve her heart by telling the laborer's wife, lest the
latter should think she did not enjoy her former position at the
castle. Then the raven flew over her, screaming again as he
flew.
"The black wretch!" said Anne Lisbeth, "he will end by
frightening me today." She had brought coffee and chicory with her,
for she thought it would be a charity to the poor woman to give
them to her to boil a cup of coffee, and then she would take a cup
herself.
The woman prepared the coffee, and in the meantime Anne
Lisbeth seated her in a chair and fell asleep. Then she dreamed of
something which she had never dreamed before; singularly enough she
dreamed of her own child, who had wept and hungered in the
laborer's hut, and had been knocked about in heat and in cold, and
who was now lying in the depths of the sea, in a spot only known by
God. She fancied she was still sitting in the hut, where the woman
was busy preparing the coffee, for she could smell the
coffee-berries roasting. But suddenly it seemed to her that there
stood on the threshold a beautiful young form, as beautiful as the
count's child, and this apparition said to her, "The world is
passing away; hold fast to me, for you are my mother after all; you
have an angel in heaven, hold me fast;" and the child-angel
stretched out his hand and seized her. Then there was a terrible
crash, as of a world crumbling to pieces, and the angel-child was
rising from the earth, and holding her by the sleeve so tightly
that she felt herself lifted from the ground; but, on the other
hand, something heavy hung to her feet and dragged her down, and it
seemed as if hundreds of women were clinging to her, and crying,
"If thou art to be saved, we must be saved too. Hold fast, hold
fast." And then they all hung on her, but there were too many; and
as they clung the sleeve was torn, and Anne Lisbeth fell down in
horror, and awoke. Indeed she was on the point of falling over in
reality with the chair on which she sat; but she was so startled
and alarmed that she could not remember what she had dreamed, only
that it was something very dreadful.
They drank their coffee and had a chat together, and then
Anne Lisbeth went away towards the little town where she was to
meet the carrier, who was to drive her back to her own home. But
when she came to him she found that he would not be ready to start
till the evening of the next day. Then she began to think of the
expense, and what the distance would be to walk. She remembered
that the route by the sea-shore was two miles shorter than by the
high road; and as the weather was clear, and there would be
moonlight, she determined to make her way on foot, and to start at
once, that she might reach home the next day.
The sun had set, and the evening bells sounded through the
air from the tower of the village church, but to her it was not the
bells, but the cry of the frogs in the marshes. Then they ceased,
and all around became still; not a bird could be heard, they were
all at rest, even the owl had not left her hiding place; deep
silence reigned on the margin of the wood by the sea-shore. As Anne
Lisbeth walked on she could hear her own footsteps in the sands;
even the waves of the sea were at rest, and all in the deep waters
had sunk into silence. There was quiet among the dead and the
living in the deep sea. Anne Lisbeth walked on, thinking of nothing
at all, as people say, or rather her thoughts wandered, but not
away from her, for thought is never absent from us, it only
slumbers. Many thoughts that have lain dormant are roused at the
proper time, and begin to stir in the mind and the heart, and seem
even to come upon us from above. It is written, that a good deed
bears a blessing for its fruit; and it is also written, that the
wages of sin is death. Much has been said and much written which we
pass over or know nothing of. A light arises within us, and then
forgotten things make themselves remembered; and thus it was with
Anne Lisbeth. The germ of every vice and every virtue lies in our
heart, in yours and in mine; they lie like little grains of seed,
till a ray of sunshine, or the touch of an evil hand, or you turn
the corner to the right or to the left, and the decision is made.
The little seed is stirred, it swells and shoots up, and pours its
sap into your blood, directing your course either for good or evil.
Troublesome thoughts often exist in the mind, fermenting there,
which are not realized by us while the senses are as it were
slumbering; but still they are there. Anne Lisbeth walked on thus
with her senses half asleep, but the thoughts were fermenting
within her.
From one Shrove Tuesday to another, much may occur to
weigh down the heart; it is the reckoning of a whole year; much may
be forgotten, sins against heaven in word and thought, sins against
our neighbor, and against our own conscience. We are scarcely aware
of their existence; and Anne Lisbeth did not think of any of her
errors. She had committed no crime against the law of the land; she
was an honorable person, in a good position—that she
knew.
She continued her walk along by the margin of the sea.
What was it she saw lying there? An old hat; a man's hat. Now when
might that have been washed overboard? She drew nearer, she stopped
to look at the hat; "Ha! what was lying yonder?" She shuddered; yet
it was nothing save a heap of grass and tangled seaweed flung
across a long stone, but it looked like a corpse. Only tangled
grass, and yet she was frightened at it. As she turned to walk
away, much came into her mind that she had heard in her childhood:
old superstitions of spectres by the sea-shore; of the ghosts of
drowned but unburied people, whose corpses had been washed up on
the desolate beach. The body, she knew, could do no harm to any
one, but the spirit could pursue the lonely wanderer, attach itself
to him, and demand to be carried to the churchyard, that it might
rest in consecrated ground. "Hold fast! hold fast!" the spectre
would cry; and as Anne Lisbeth murmured these words to herself, the
whole of her dream was suddenly recalled to her memory, when the
mother had clung to her, and uttered these words, when, amid the
crashing of worlds, her sleeve had been torn, and she had slipped
from the grasp of her child, who wanted to hold her up in that
terrible hour. Her child, her own child, which she had never loved,
lay now buried in the sea, and might rise up, like a spectre, from
the waters, and cry, "Hold fast; carry me to consecrated
ground!"
As these thoughts passed through her mind, fear gave speed
to her feet, so that she walked faster and faster. Fear came upon
her as if a cold, clammy hand had been laid upon her heart, so that
she almost fainted. As she looked across the sea, all there grew
darker; a heavy mist came rolling onwards, and clung to bush and
tree, distorting them into fantastic shapes. She turned and glanced
at the moon, which had risen behind her. It looked like a pale,
rayless surface, and a deadly weight seemed to hang upon her limbs.
"Hold," thought she; and then she turned round a second time to
look at the moon. A white face appeared quite close to her, with a
mist, hanging like a garment from its shoulders. "Stop! carry me to
consecrated earth," sounded in her ears, in strange, hollow tones.
The sound did not come from frogs or ravens; she saw no sign of
such creatures. "A grave! dig me a grave!" was repeated quite loud.
Yes, it was indeed the spectre of her child. The child that lay
beneath the ocean, and whose spirit could have no rest until it was
carried to the churchyard, and until a grave had been dug for it in
consecrated ground. She would go there at once, and there she would
dig. She turned in the direction of the church, and the weight on
her heart seemed to grow lighter, and even to vanish altogether;
but when she turned to go home by the shortest way, it returned.
"Stop! stop!" and the words came quite clear, though they were like
the croak of a frog, or the wail of a bird. "A grave! dig me a
grave!"
The mist was cold and damp, her hands and face were moist
and clammy with horror, a heavy weight again seized her and clung
to her, her mind became clear for thoughts that had never before
been there.
In these northern regions, a beech-wood often buds in a
single night and appears in the morning sunlight in its full glory
of youthful green. So, in a single instant, can the consciousness
of the sin that has been committed in thoughts, words, and actions
of our past life, be unfolded to us. When once the conscience is
awakened, it springs up in the heart spontaneously, and God awakens
the conscience when we least expect it. Then we can find no excuse
for ourselves; the deed is there and bears witness against us. The
thoughts seem to become words, and to sound far out into the world.
We are horrified at the thought of what we have carried within us,
and at the consciousness that we have not overcome the evil which
has its origin in thoughtlessness and pride. The heart conceals
within itself the vices as well as the virtues, and they grow in
the shallowest ground. Anne Lisbeth now experienced in thought what
we have clothed in words. She was overpowered by them, and sank
down and crept along for some distance on the ground. "A grave! dig
me a grave!" sounded again in her ears, and she would have gladly
buried herself, if in the grave she could have found forgetfulness
of her actions.
It was the first hour of her awakening, full of anguish
and horror. Superstition made her alternately shudder with cold or
burn with the heat of fever. Many things, of which she had feared
even to speak, came into her mind. Silently, as the cloud-shadows
in the moonshine, a spectral apparition flitted by her; she had
heard of it before. Close by her galloped four snorting steeds,
with fire flashing from their eyes and nostrils. They dragged a
burning coach, and within it sat the wicked lord of the manor, who
had ruled there a hundred years before. The legend says that every
night, at twelve o'clock, he drove into his castleyard and out
again. He was not as pale as dead men are, but black as a coal. He
nodded, and pointed to Anne Lisbeth, crying out, "Hold fast! hold
fast! and then you may ride again in a nobleman's carriage, and
forget your child."
She gathered herself up, and hastened to the churchyard;
but black crosses and black ravens danced before her eyes, and she
could not distinguish one from the other. The ravens croaked as the
raven had done which she saw in the daytime, but now she understood
what they said. "I am the raven-mother; I am the raven-mother,"
each raven croaked, and Anne Lisbeth felt that the name also
applied to her; and she fancied she should be transformed into a
black bird, and have to cry as they cried, if she did not dig the
grave. And she threw herself upon the earth, and with her hands dug
a grave in the hard ground, so that the blood ran from her fingers.
"A grave! dig me a grave!" still sounded in her ears; she was
fearful that the cock might crow, and the first red streak appear
in the east, before she had finished her work; and then she would
be lost. And the cock crowed, and the day dawned in the east, and
the grave was only half dug. An icy hand passed over her head and
face, and down towards her heart. "Only half a grave," a voice
wailed, and fled away. Yes, it fled away over the sea; it was the
ocean spectre; and, exhausted and overpowered, Anne Lisbeth sunk to
the ground, and her senses left her.
It was a bright day when she came to herself, and two men
were raising her up; but she was not lying in the churchyard, but
on the sea-shore, where she had dug a deep hole in the sand, and
cut her hand with a piece of broken glass, whose sharp stern was
stuck in a little block of painted wood. Anne Lisbeth was in a
fever. Conscience had roused the memories of superstitions, and had
so acted upon her mind, that she fancied she had only half a soul,
and that her child had taken the other half down into the sea.
Never would she be able to cling to the mercy of Heaven till she
had recovered this other half which was now held fast in the deep
water.
Anne Lisbeth returned to her home, but she was no longer
the woman she had been. Her thoughts were like a confused, tangled
skein; only one thread, only one thought was clear to her, namely
that she must carry the spectre of the sea-shore to the churchyard,
and dig a grave for him there; that by so doing she might win back
her soul. Many a night she was missed from her home, and was always
found on the sea-shore waiting for the spectre.
In this way a whole year passed; and then one night she
vanished again, and was not to be found. The whole of the next day
was spent in a useless search after her.
Towards evening, when the clerk entered the church to toll
the vesper bell, he saw by the altar Anne Lisbeth, who had spent
the whole day there. Her powers of body were almost exhausted, but
her eyes flashed brightly, and on her cheeks was a rosy flush. The
last rays of the setting sun shone upon her, and gleamed over the
altar upon the shining clasps of the Bible, which lay open at the
words of the prophet Joel, "Rend your hearts and not your garments,
and turn unto the Lord."
"That was just a chance," people said; but do things
happen by chance? In the face of Anne Lisbeth, lighted up by the
evening sun, could be seen peace and rest. She said she was happy
now, for she had conquered. The spectre of the shore, her own
child, had come to her the night before, and had said to her, "Thou
hast dug me only half a grave: but thou hast now, for a year and a
day, buried me altogether in thy heart, and it is there a mother
can best hide her child!" And then he gave her back her lost soul,
and brought her into the church. "Now I am in the house of God,"
she said, "and in that house we are happy."
When the sun set, Anne Lisbeth's soul had risen to that
region where there is no more pain; and Anne Lisbeth's troubles
were at an end.