Introduction
If we are honest with ourselves, then we must all put our hands up and admit that we really should be changing something in our own lives, whether it’s something out there or something here inside.
I, for one must say that this is how I started my spiritual journey. Even at a young age I was looking for direction,
I was seeking some sense and understanding of the world. And once I was introduced to spirituality through Raja Yoga Meditation, I felt that I had some spiritual tools with which to make those positive changes I wanted to see in my life.
As the old saying goes: “Procrastination is the thief of time.” Now is definitely the time to stop putting things off. I am certainly glad that I made those mindful and conscious choices early in my life. Sometimes we can get can caught up in being busy with our daily tasks and basic living, and it can seem as if life just passes us by. But, I feel that it is never too late to begin making some positive changes in life. So there is still hope for change.
It is not that we do not see the need to change, but we just do not make the inner work a priority in life when we are faced with so many worldly attractions and distractions. Sometimes, all it needs is to have the right tools and motivation. Very often too we can be hard on ourselves as we see the apparent mammoth task of all that self-change ahead of us. At that time, take a deep breath and handle every moment bit by bit.
As we take time out to focus on our inner self, we become a little kinder and gentler on ourselves. Then we find that the change process becomes lighter and easier. We feel we can handle it with grace and not as a battle. As we nurture the spirit on a daily basis we will definitely find our way back to peace and happiness in life.
I have found that we all have to change, sooner or later. Change is part of the natural law of the universe. Change is a must and so change we will, whether we want to or not. But how we change is up to us. We can change with love or we can change because time forces us to change.
When we change through personal choice then we gain the credit for that change, in as much as we experience the benefits of those changes. We become the masters of ourselves and not that someone or something has mastery over us. The real power, happiness and contentment comes from self-created change. And we experience it right here, right now, not at some future distant date.
These changes in our life do not have to be dramatic and world shattering. They can be small and incremental, and often the slow and steady are the most effective changes we can make in our life. For example, try to slow down your life a little, choose peace over being right, be compassionate rather than judgemental, or simply add a few drops of loving meditation into your life and see how your life blossoms. Remember the story of the tortoise and the hare. Mr. Hare was slow and steady and he passed the finishing line without even breaking a sweat! So go gentle and go easy. But definitely go. As Confucius said; “It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.”
I have come to realize that by taking time to meditate, making quiet time for inner reflection, practicing silence, positivity, and keeping a journal, these have all been ways that helped me to focus my mind on the inner journey to re-connect with my inner-self. For far too long we have lost ourselves by living too much on the outside, at the expense of not truly knowing our ‘self’. We have been doing lots of outer work, but at the neglect of the innerwork. Now, if we are to survive, it is time to create a balance in our lives of both the inner and outer worlds in which we live.
With the rapid change in global events and the march onwards with technology and communication, our world has become so seemingly small. It is like we are all living in a global village. So, more than ever, this is the time for us to start taking more care, for what we do easily influences those around us. Just as science has led us to new heights and insights with travel to outer space, we need to start exploring our inner space, the world within in which we live.
Embrace change. There will never be a ideal time to change. Now is always the right time. Time is beckoning us. Time is waiting for us. The time is ready. We just need the courage to make that first step.
My hope for those who have started their inner journey is that they continue with even more joy and happiness. For those just beginning, maybe this little book will help you find your way to a life of inner peace and contentment. These thoughts have helped me I hope that they will help you too.
Aruna
Afraid to Love
There are two major forces in the world that people are driven by, and they are fear and love. Where there is fear, love cannot exist and where there is love, fear cannot exist. Ask yourself: Which force drives you?
Right now, this moment is a perfectly pure moment. However, with a resentful attitude, and fear combined with worry about the future, this means that we adulterate this very precious moment of our life now.
Many studies have indicated that there are only two basic emotions from which all other emotions arise: love and fear. Love gives rise to joy, generosity, kindness, happiness, fulfilment, peace, beauty and much more. By contrast, fear brings insecurity, doubts, including self-doubt, dislike, sadness, worry, animosity, anxiety, confrontation, uncertainty and the list is endless.
In his book ‘Life Unlocked’, the Harvard psychotherapist Dr.Srinivasan Pillay draws from cutting-edge research in psychology and neuroscience, he shows that the biggest roadblock to happiness is fear. Brain imaging studies reveal that when fear is reframed, a person can become less fearful. In fact, fear itself does not cause anxiety—it is our fear of fear that causes anxiety and dread!
Some fears are justified while others are ‘man made’ due to letting our imagination run wild. Fearful thoughts arise when the mind is weak, and where there is self-doubt and low self-esteem. Then with the imagination we add a few creative spices to make the fear story gory and grisly. Our fears may often have little substance if any, but we enjoy them! They bring a thrill to our lives and create an adrenaline rush that is very often mistaken as a form of happiness.
Depending on our childhood experience of love we will either welcome love or reject it. Perhaps, there was fear of accepting love because the love we received in our childhood was at often times measured when it was given. If we excelled we were rewarded with love and if we made a mistake we were punished by being sent to our bedroom, or to a corner of the classroom. Hence this relationship between love and fear started very early on in our childhood.
In later years we applied the same strategy to our adult relationships. If someone did what we believed to be right, then we rewarded them with our love otherwise we withdrew our love and they were punished with the silent treatment.
Someone who is a bestower of love sets in motion a particular dynamic of love, whereby that soul is always surrounded by love, no matter where they go. Even if such a soul finds themselves amongst strangers they give and receive love, and not fear, because love is the only language of this soul. The receiver melts when spoken to with love, they drop their defences and in turn respond with love.
People who walk the path of truth have clean hearts, their karma is clean and they are humbled by their experience of life through understanding the true nature of love. They don’t play the game of waiting for others to give love first for they have an abundance of divine love naturally and give graciously in an unconditional way without measure – they take the first step and are not afraid to love.
Yet, it seems that as we get older, we become more afraid to love because of all our past experience of hurt and pain which continues to shrink our hearts. By holding onto the pain of the past we continue to keep our hearts small and block out love in our life. We block not only that love which we could give, but also we keep ourselves distant from the love we could receive.
People who are not accustomed to the experience of divine love, may find it difficult to understand the notion of spiritual love. In fact some even find it suffocating and stifling while others interpret a gesture of love as a sexual advance.
Taking love from the Supreme cleans and heals our hearts, making them pure and whole once again, because it is only God’s love which can heal the soul. God’s love is both eternal and unconditional. God loves with a big heart, even when the Supreme knows all our weaknesses, just as a parent has love for the child even though he will make mistakes and not always get things right, but the parent’s love is always there.
It’s Time... to become a bestower of love and to love with an open heart once again. Learn how to live with love and without fear. Stop the imagination running wild! Check your thoughts and the motivation behind them; is it love or fear? And if it is true pure love, you need never fear again!
Afraid or Lonely?
Are you lonely? Research shows that loneliness is prevalent throughout today’s society. Even if you are married or have a social network of thousands or millions, you are not necessarily spared. You could still feel lonely. Therefore, loneliness is a subjective experience. If you feel lonely, then you are.
According to Wikipedia, a study found that although time spent alone tended to depress a person’s mood and increase feelings of loneliness, it also helped to improve their cognitive state, such as improving concentration. Furthermore, once the alone time was over, people’s moods tended to increase significantly. Solitude is also associated with other positive growth experiences.
Yet there is a big difference between loneliness and solitude. People who feel lonely are lonely because they may want more social interaction, or a certain style of interaction that is not presently available. Whereas those who are in solitude seek less social interaction, often for the purpose of getting to know themselves better. Therefore, ‘aloneness’ is not necessarily a bad thing, as some would think.
These days it seems that no one wants to leave us alone! TV stations want to entice us with shows and serials that keep us glued to the company of the flashing box! Bollywood and Hollywood produce tons of movies not only to entertain us, but so that we may also live out our secret lives as we watch them. Dating sites convince you that you need to have that perfect relationship for perfect fulfilment. Very few paths advocate being alone and sticking to our own healthy, happy and holy company.
We too like to get distracted by wanting to ‘do’, instead of just allowing ourselves to ‘be’. What might you say at the start of your day – everyday? “What shall I do today?” or “What needs to be accomplished today?” Instead, why not try asking yourself; “What shall I BE today?” We fill our time with lists of things to do, people to meet, obligations to fulfil, and if nothing else...we are told to ‘shop ‘til we drop’, yet we can never seem to find a moment to be with just ourselves, alone. We create whole agendas of things to do, to distract ourselves from plain and simple ‘being’.
I know many people who tell me that they want to be in a relationship. And that is fine, I don’t have anything against that. But, there is no way you can enter a relationship feeling lonely and expect the other to fill that void or gap! That is a huge demand to put on the head of the other. The only way to create a successful relationship is to find yourself first. Become a person that you would want to have a relationship with, and from that place you will attract the right mate, friend or companion.
We all want to be better, kinder, more likeable and lovable people, and that starts from the inside. So, how do we get to know ourselves?
“Do not feel lonely, the
entire Universe is inside you.”
RUMI
Get Comfortable with Being Alone
Take time and begin being with yourself for long enough, and you will actually learn to like, and even come to love your own company! You will no longer fear the loneliness, nor will it have a hold over you. From this healthy place, it’s safe to go and find friends and romance. You will then not be needy, moody, expectant, demanding, complaining and much more. You will be a joy to be around. Furthermore – you want to find someone who is also vibrating at your own frequency. So find a whole person, rather than that other half!
So How Do You Begin Your Practice?
Begin by spending a few hours with yourself from time to time. Make an appointment with yourself. Take yourself to the movies, or the park, or the beach and have some personal time with yourself, just walking, sitting or drinking coffee. Next, take yourself on a trip for a few days. Yes, truly, go by yourself. Stay in the hotel alone! Do the things alone that you would usually do with others! Be courageous rather than self-pitying!
“By God, when you see your beauty,
you will be the idol of yourself.”
RUMI
It’s Time... to face your loneliness. Get a grip over it, before it grips you! Be the master of your every moment and you shall never ever be alone again.
REFLECT
Sit quietly for a few minutes and really ‘be’ with yourself. Give yourself your full and undivided attention, not half. Do not distract yourself from yourself. Sit with yourself, as you would with your best friend. In this moment there would be no judgement, only love and kindness. Enjoy getting to know the real you. Enjoy your own company. Tell yourself, there is no where I want to be right now except with my dear self. Relax. Take time and cherish the moment.