contents

introduction

chapter one: on one's own

chapter two: one-on-one

chapter three: one too many

About the Author

acknowledgments

INTRODUCTION

Do you so enjoy having the house to yourself that when your roommate returns you don’t greet them at the door but rather claim the couch while sitting on all three remotes?

Do you get so wrapped up in your own head that it can be hours before you realize someone has been repeatedly calling your name, followed by the words “Stop eating the plants!”

Do you so look for any excuse not to hang out at a party that you’ll run up and down the hallway nonstop with your head in a shopping bag and your ass covered with what visitors can only surmise was the cheese dip?

The cats understand.

You see, for years cats have been labeled “antisocial,” “judgmental,” or “clearly hiding in the pillowcase” simply because they don’t like large groups and need their own space. They’ve been called “unfriendly” because they won’t let everybody pet them, “uncooperative” because they work better on their own, and “uncommunicative” because they never share any juicy gossip.

But the truth is cats are none of those things. They’re introverts, just like millions of warm, thoughtful, and surprisingly engaging people who will do anything to avoid small talk, even if it means wedging themselves behind a fridge or knocking over four lamps and a vase to divert attention.

If you’re an introvert, then you’ll see yourself in these cats’ poems. If you’re an extrovert, then you’ll see that you and the cats can both wander around the house without pants. Either way, the cats have already walked off to recharge their energy, gather their thoughts, and wait to reappear when food arrives.