reading

THE LITTLE BOOK OF DAILY RITUALS

No part of this book may be reproduced by any means, nor transmitted, nor translated into a machine language, without the written permission of the publishers.

Vicki Vrint has asserted her moral right to be identifed as the author of this work in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

Condition of Sale

This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out or otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

An Hachette UK Company
www.hachette.co.uk

Vie Books, an imprint of Summersdale Publishers Ltd
Part of Octopus Publishing Group Limited
Carmelite House
50 Victoria Embankment
LONDON
EC4Y 0DZ
UK

www.summersdale.com

ISBN: 978-1-78783-630-3

Substantial discounts on bulk quantities of Summersdale books are available to corporations, professional associations and other organizations. For details contact general enquiries: telephone: +44 (0) 1243 771107 or email: enquiries@summersdale.com.

The little things?
The little moments?
They aren't little.

Jon Kabat-Zinn

CONTENTS

Introduction
Mind
Body
Spirit
Creative Rituals
Love Rituals
Solo Adventures
Conclusion
List of Rituals

Introduction

Rituals are activities we carry out mindfully and with reverence. They give us an opportunity to slow down and get in touch with our thoughts and feelings. You can use them to reflect on what you want to achieve, to motivate you to take action or to help you face the challenges of day-to-day life.

Numerous studies have shown how important it is to take time out for ourselves every day – and how not doing so can lead to stress, depression and health issues such as high blood pressure and depleted immunity – but it can be difficult to do this in practice. Carrying out a regular ritual, such as a meditation or some simple breathing exercises, is an easy and rewarding way to include an element of self-care in your day.

This book includes over eighty such rituals to refresh your mind, body and spirit. Whether you want to create time for self-care, to find inspiration or to slow down and connect with the world around you, there is a ritual in this book to help you.

How do rituals work?

Rituals offer you mindful moments to savour during the day; moments to help you pause, focus on your intentions and reflect on what matters to you. Whether you use them to celebrate everyday wonders or to remind yourself to indulge in a little self-care, they will always be peaceful and positive experiences. Repeating a ritual regularly means that your mind recognizes it as a cue to relax into the exercise, so the more you practise the better the results will be.

Some of the rituals in this book list items you might like to use, but these are just suggestions. (Your rituals will be most effective if they are meaningful to you, so feel free to personalize them.) What matters most is that you pause and give all your attention to what you're doing – it's concentrating on your intentions in this way that leads to positive results.

Have fun exploring and experiencing the life-enhancing power of rituals!

Mind

A simple meditation

Intention: To still the mind and experience a moment of calm.

The benefits of meditation are so wide-reaching that practising this simple ritual regularly – perhaps as part of your evening routine – will have a positive impact on everything, from your physical and mental well-being to your energy levels and quality of sleep. You don't really need any equipment to do it, but you might like to burn some incense or diffuse some oil to help you relax (lavender or ylang ylang are both good for this).

Find somewhere quiet and comfortable to meditate, lying down or sitting, whichever suits you. There's no need to close your eyes at first; just take a moment to settle. Listen to the sounds around you and become aware of how your body feels, noticing your points of contact with the surface beneath you.

Focus on your breathing – slowly in through the nose and out through the mouth – and allow your eyes to close. Continue to focus on your breathing, counting "one" for each in-breath and "two" for each out-breath, slowly and steadily.

Your thoughts will wander, and that is perfectly fine. It's natural for the mind to want to do so. Meditating isn't about silencing your thoughts, it's about distancing yourself from them: watching them come, and then letting them go as you realize your mind has wandered, and refocusing on your breathing. When you are ready to finish, expand your bubble of awareness; listen to the sounds around you, feel the surface beneath you, and then open your eyes.

A song-a-day ritual

Intention: To use music to nurture your mind, body and spirit.

Tapping in to the mood-boosting, stress-busting power of music every day is one of the easiest and most uplifting rituals you can undertake. Whatever your mood there will be a song to lighten your heart, to make you smile or to comfort you while you cry… and chances are that you already know what that song is.

Make a point of listening to a song every day, whenever you need it most. You could choose an upbeat tune you loved at high school to energize you when you first wake up; or – if you're having a difficult time – listen to your "soul song", the one whose lyrics have always seemed to echo your own experiences. Or how about ending your working day with a celebratory dance around the kitchen to whatever's trending on your music app?

A pilgrimage ritual

Intention: To visit somewhere awe-inspiring and feel wonder.

For some of us it will be the beauty of the landscape or the spectacle of the night sky, for others it might be a breathtaking piece of architecture or a place of worship. Whatever it is that inspires awe in you, make time to visit it regularly. Research has shown that seeing and reacting to extraordinary sights boosts the immune system and positively affects our behaviour. We benefit on a spiritual level, too, as these experiences of wonder remind us of our place in a world that is much bigger than ourselves.

You'll know what type of destination appeals to you, but don't feel you have to go too far afield. The wonders of a natural landscape are never far away and you may discover an awe-inspiring site on your doorstep. Visit it, experience the details and reflect on what makes it so special to you. Repeat as necessary.

A ritual for self-expression

Intention: To free your unexpressed words and emotions.

Bottling up your feelings can lead to frustration, stress and even physical symptoms, as well as damaging your concentration and overall happiness. In some situations, it may not be appropriate (or possible) to voice your feelings directly, or you may simply have general worries you need to release to maintain your peace of mind. This ritual will help you to set these unspoken thoughts free.

You could use:

• Peppermint essential oil and a burner
• Peppermint tea
• Slips of paper and a pen
• A heatproof bowl and matches

Diffuse some drops of peppermint oil in a burner and breathe slowly and deeply for a few moments, focusing on your breath and the aroma of the oil. (You can also sip peppermint tea – peppermint relaxes the throat, the point of self-expression.) Release any tension in your jaw and shoulders, and feel your throat muscles relaxing.

When you're ready to begin, ask yourself how you're feeling and say aloud any answers that come to mind, such as "I'm feeling upset," or, "the way that I was treated at work was unfair." Don't hold back. Carry on speaking, airing any tensions or worries that come to mind.

When you've expressed everything you need to, take the pen and paper and write down any words that sum up what you've said, such as "anger" or "sadness". Burn them in the heatproof bowl and sense your worries disappearing as you do so. Repeat the ritual whenever you feel the tension of unexpressed feelings returning.

A decluttering ritual

Intention: To reap the mental, physical and spiritual rewards of a declutter.

Clutter adds to our stress levels and makes it hard for us to enjoy any time we've set aside for relaxation. If decluttering sounds more like a chore than a self-care ritual, remember that it's therapeutic and an excellent exercise in mindfulness. Find a regular five-minute slot in your day and use this to tackle whichever area is most cluttered. You could target a kitchen cupboard, your work desk or even just turn out your make-up bag or wallet.

Add a mindful element to your decluttering by focusing on the task at hand and concentrating on the textures and details of the items you're handling. Once your area is clear, wipe it down with this home-made witch hazel cleaner, which has natural anti-bacterial properties.

Mix ¼ cup of witch hazel disinfectant with ½ cup of water and around 8 drops of peppermint or tea-tree essential oil. Pour into a spray bottle and use to bring some sparkle to your newly cleared area.

If it's been messy for a while, you could also add a spiritual element to your decluttering by cleansing the energy of the area you've just cleaned. You can do this by smudging (see Spirit), clapping your hands or ringing a bell to dispel negative or stale energy.

A candle ritual

Intention: To focus your mind and find peace when you need it.

If you're new to meditation or spiritual practice, this candle ritual is a lovely place to start. All you need is a candle and somewhere quiet and comfortable to sit for a while. (It's a nice meditation to perform at the end of the day, before bed.) Practise regularly and you'll find it easier to still your mind – a useful skill to take back with you into the rush of day-to-day life.

Turn off any bright lights or distractions and light your candle. Sit in front of it and stare steadily at the flame, refocusing whenever you find yourself distracted by everyday thoughts. Now, hold the image of the candle in your mind and close your eyes for a few seconds. Open your eyes to refresh the image. Practise this for five minutes, closing your eyes for a little longer each time. Carry this ritual out often and you'll be able to visualize the candle and meditate when you need to, wherever you are.

A just-say-hello ritual

Intention: To meet and greet someone new.

In order for us to stay happy, it's important to maintain connections with other people. Talking to others not only boosts our mood, it also helps us to develop a strong sense of identity. Just spending five minutes chatting to someone can help us to feel more positive – and by making time for regular conversations with others you'll be boosting their spirits, too.

Make a resolution to say hello to someone as often as you can. Most people enjoy talking about their experiences and some of the most inspirational stories come from the people we meet face to face. Try chatting to people the next time you're in a queue, at the bus stop, or paying for your shopping. If you're feeling shy, you can always start a conversation with a compliment. Make your just-say-hello ritual an attentive one: ask questions, be open-minded and you'll both enjoy the experience.

A ritual for setting boundaries

Intention: To set healthy boundaries and protect yourself from unwanted burdens.

We are often taught to put others before ourselves and can end up saying yes to requests when we would like to say no. Learning to set strong boundaries will help you to live in a more authentic way and to say your "yeses" wholeheartedly. This visualization is straightforward but very beneficial. It helps you to maintain your priorities (and calm) when you go out into the world, and to come back without taking on more responsibilities than you want to or picking up negative energy from others.

You could use:

• A smooth pebble
• Some red paint or a red marker pen
• Cedarwood essential oil, for strength and focus

Diffuse a few drops of cedarwood oil, or dab them (diluted according to the label) onto your pressure points (your wrists, your temples or just behind your ears). Focus on breathing in the scent and sit quietly for a moment.