The longest day in all the year was slowly closing over the little village of Clayton. There were no loiterers now at the corners of the streets or on the village square—it was too late for that, though daylight still lingered. Now and then the silence was broken by the footsteps of some late home-comer, and over more than one narrow close, the sound of boyish voices went and came, from garret to garret, telling that the spirit of slumber had not yet taken possession of the place. But these soon ceased. The wind moved the tall laburnums in the lane without a sound, and the murmur of running water alone broke the stillness, as the gurgle of the burn, and the rush of the distant mill-dam met and mingled in the air of the summer night.
In the primitive village of Clayton, at this midsummer time, gentle and simple were wont to seek their rest by the light of the long gloaming. But to-night there was light in the manse—in the minister’s study, and in other parts of the house as well. Lights were carried hurriedly past uncurtained windows, and flared at last through the open door, as a woman’s anxious face looked out.
“What can be keeping him?” she murmured, as she shaded the flickering candle and peered out into the gathering darkness. “It’s no’ like him to linger at a time like this. God send he was at home.”
Another moment of eager listening, and then the anxious face was withdrawn and the door closed. Soon a sound broke the stillness of the village street; a horseman drew up before the minister’s house, and the door was again opened.
“Well, Janet?” said the rider, throwing the reins on the horse’s neck and pausing as he went in. The woman curtseyed with a very relieved face.
“They’ll be glad to see you up the stairs, sir. The minister’s no’ long home.”
She lighted the doctor up the stairs, and then turned briskly in another direction. In a minute she was kneeling before the kitchen hearth, and was stirring up the buried embers.
“Has my father come, Janet?” said a voice out of the darkness.
“Yes, he’s come. He’s gone up the stairs. I’ll put on the kettle. I dare say he’ll be none the worse of a cup of tea after his ride.”
Sitting on the high kitchen dresser, her cheek close against the darkening window, sat a young girl, of perhaps twelve or fourteen years of age. She had been reading by the light that lingered long at that western window, but the entrance of Janet’s candle darkened that, and the book, which at the first moment of surprise had dropped out of her hand, she now hastily put behind her out of Janet’s sight. But she need not have feared a rebuke for “blindin’ herself” this time, for Janet was intent on other matters, and pursued her work in silence. Soon the blaze sprung up, and the dishes and covers on the wall shone in the firelight. Then she went softly out and closed the door behind her.
The girl sat still on the high dresser, with her head leaning back on the window ledge, watching the shadows made by the firelight, and thinking her own pleasant thoughts the while. As the door closed, a murmur of wonder escaped her, that “Janet had’na sent her to her bed.”
“It’s quite time I dare say,” she added, in a little, “and I’m tired, too, with my long walk to the glen. I’ll go whenever papa comes down.”
She listened for a minute. Then her thoughts went away to other things—to her father, who had been away all day; to her mother, who was not quite well to-night, and had gone up-stairs, contrary to her usual custom, before her father came home. Then she thought of other things—of the book she had been reading, a story of one who had dared and done much in a righteous cause—and then she gradually lost sight of the tale and fell into fanciful musings about her own future, and to the building of pleasant castles, in which she and they whom she loved were to dwell. Sitting in the firelight, with eyes and lips that smiled, the pleasant fancies came and went. Not a shadow crossed her brow. Not a fear came to dim the light by which she gazed into the future that she planned. So she sat till her dream was dreamed out, and then, with a sigh, in which there was no echo of care or pain, she woke to the present, and turned to her book again.
“I might see by the fire,” she said, and in a minute she was seated on the floor, her head leaning on her hands, and her eye fastened on the open page.
“Miss Graeme,” said Janet, softly coming in with a child in her arms, “your mamma’s no’ weel, and here’s wee Rosie wakened, and wantin’ her. You’ll need to take her, for I maun awa’.”
The book fell from the girl’s hand, as she started up with a frightened face.
“What ails mamma, Janet? Is she very ill?”
“What should ail her but the one thing?” said Janet, impatiently. “She’ll be better the morn I hae nae doubt.”
Graeme made no attempt to take the child, who held out her hands toward her.
“I must go to her, Janet.”
“Indeed, Miss Graeme, you’ll do nothing o’ the kind. Mrs. Burns is with her, and the doctor, and it’s little good you could do her just now. Bide still where you are, and take care o’ wee Rosie, and hearken if you hear ony o’ the ither bairns, for none o’ you can see your mamma the night.”
Graeme took her little sister in her arms and seated herself on the floor again. Janet went out, and Graeme heard her father’s voice in the passage. She held her breath to listen, but he did not come in as she hoped he would. She heard them both go up-stairs again, and heedless of the prattle of her baby sister, she still listened eagerly. Now and then the sound of footsteps overhead reached her, and in a little Janet came into the kitchen again, but she did not stay to be questioned. Then the street door opened, and some one went out, and it seemed to Graeme a long time before she heard another sound. Then Janet came in again, and this time she seemed to have forgotten that there was any one to see her, for she was wringing her hands, and the tears were streaming down her cheeks. Graeme’s heart stood still, and her white lips could scarcely utter a sound.
“Janet!—tell me!—my mother.”
“Save us lassie! I had no mind of you. Bide still, Miss Graeme. You munna go there,” for Graeme with her little sister in her arms was hastening away. “Your mamma’s no waur than she’s been afore. It’s only me that doesna ken about the like o’ you. The minister keeps up a gude heart. Gude forgie him and a’ mankind.”
Graeme took a step toward the door, and the baby, frightened at Janet’s unwonted vehemence, sent up a shrill cry. But Janet put them both aside, and stood with her back against the door.
“No’ ae step, Miss Graeme. The auld fule that I am; ’gin the lassie had been but in her bed. No, I’ll no’ take the bairn, sit down there, you’ll be sent for if you’re needed. I’ll be back again soon; and you’ll promise me that you’ll no leave this till I bid you. Miss Graeme, I wouldna deceive you if I was afraid for your mamma. Promise me that you’ll bide still.”
Graeme promised, awed by the earnestness of Janet, and by her own vague terror as to her mother’s mysterious sorrow, that could claim from one usually so calm, sympathy so intense and painful. Then she sat down again to listen and to wait. How long the time seemed! The lids fell down over the baby’s wakeful eyes at last, and Graeme, gathering her own frock over the little limbs, and murmuring loving words to her darling, listened still.
The flames ceased to leap and glow on the hearth, the shadows no longer danced upon the wall, and gazing at the strange faces and forms that smiled and beckoned to her from the dying embers, still she listened. The red embers faded into white, the dark forest with its sunny glades and long retreating vistas, the hills, and rocks, and clouds, and waterfalls, that had risen among them at the watcher’s will, changed to dull grey ashes, and the dim dawn of the summer morning, gleamed in at last upon the weary sleeper. The baby still nestled in her arms, the golden hair of the child gleaming among the dark curls of the elder sister as their cheeks lay close together. Graeme moaned and murmured in her sleep, and clasped the baby closer, but she did not wake till Janet’s voice aroused her. There were no tears on her face now, but it was very white, and her voice was low and changed.
“Miss Graeme, you are to go to your mamma; she’s wantin’ you. But mind you are to be quiet, and think o’ your father.”
Taking the child in her arms, she turned her back upon the startled girl. Chilled and stiff from her uneasy posture, Graeme strove to rise, and stumbling, caught at Janet’s arm.
“Mamma is better Janet,” she asked eagerly. Janet kept her working face out of sight, and, in a little, answered hoarsely—
“Ay, she’ll soon be better, whatever becomes of the rest of us. But, mind, you are to be quiet, Miss Graeme.”
Chilled and trembling, Graeme crept up-stairs and through the dim passages to her mother’s room. The curtains had been drawn back, and the daylight streamed into the room. But the forgotten candles still glimmered on the table. There were several people in the room, standing sad and silent around the bed. They moved away as she drew near. Then Graeme saw her mother’s white face on the pillow, and her father bending over her. Even in the awe and dread that smote on her heart like death, she remembered that she must be quiet, and, coming close to the pillow, she said softly—
“Mother.”
The dying eyes came back from their wandering, and fastened on her darling’s face, and the white lips opened with a smile.
“Graeme—my own love—I am going away—and they will have no one but you. And I have so much to say to you.”
So much to say! With only strength to ask, “God guide my darling ever!” and the dying eyes closed, and the smile lingered upon the pale lips, and in the silence that came next, one thought fixed itself on the heart of the awe-stricken girl, never to be effaced. Her father and his motherless children had none but her to care for them now.
“It’s a’ ye ken! Gotten ower it, indeed!” and Janet turned her back on her visitor, and went muttering about her gloomy kitchen: “The minister no’ being one to speak his sorrow to the newsmongering folk that frequent your house, they say he has gotten ower it, do they? It’s a’ they ken!”
“Janet, woman,” said her visitor, “I canna but think you are unreasonable in your anger. I said nothing derogatory to the minister; far be it from me! But we can a’ see that the house needs a head, and the bairns need a mother. The minister’s growing gey cheerful like, and the year is mair than out; and—”
“Whisht, woman. Dinna say it. Speak sense if ye maun speak,” said Janet, with a gesture of disgust and anger.
“Wherefore should I no’ say it?” demanded her visitor. “And as to speaking sense—. But I’ll no’ trouble you. It seems you have friends in such plenty that you can afford to scorn and scoff at them at your pleasure. Good-day to you,” and she rose to go.
But Janet had already repented her hot words.
“Bide still, woman! Friends dinna fall out for a single ill word. And what with ae thing and anither I dinna weel ken what I’m saying or doing whiles. Sit down: it’s you that’s unreasonable now.”
This was Mistress Elspat Smith, the wife of a farmer—“no’ that ill aff,” as he cautiously expressed it—a far more important person in the parish than Janet, the minister’s maid-of-all-work. It was a condescension on her part to come into Janet’s kitchen, under any circumstances, she thought; and to be taken up sharply for a friendly word was not to be borne. But they had been friends all their lives; and Janet “kenned hersel’ as gude a woman as Elspat Smith, weel aff or no’ weel aff;” so with gentle violence she pushed her back into her chair, saying:
“Hoot, woman! What would folk say to see you and me striving at this late day? And I want to consult you.”
“But you should speak sense yourself, Janet,” said her friend.
“Folk maun speak as it’s given them to speak,” said Janet; “and we’ll say nae mair about it. No’ but that the bairns might be the better to have some one to be over them. She wouldna hae her sorrow to seek, I can tell you. No that they’re ill bairns—”
“We’ll say no more about it, since that is your will,” said Mrs. Smith, with dignity; and then, relenting, she added—
“You have a full handfu’ with the eight of them, I’m sure.”
“Seven only,” said Janet, under her breath. “She got one of them safe home with her, thank God. No’ that there’s one ower many,” added she quickly; “and they’re no’ ill bairns.”
“You have your ain troubles among them, I dare say, and are muckle to be pitied—”
“Me to be pitied!” said Janet scornfully, “there’s no fear o’ me. But what can the like o’ me do? For ye ken, woman, though the minister is a powerful preacher, and grand on points o’ doctrine, he’s a verra bairn about some things. She aye keepit the siller, and far did she make it gang—having something to lay by at the year’s end as well. Now, if we make the twa ends meet, it’s mair than I expect.”
“But Miss Graeme ought to have some sense about these things. Surely she takes heed to the bairns?”
“Miss Graeme’s but a bairn herself, with little thought and less experience; and its no’ to be supposed that the rest will take heed to her. The little anes are no’ so ill to do with; but these twa laddies are just spirits o’ mischief, for as quiet as Norman looks; and they come home from the school with torn clothes, till Miss Graeme is just dazed with mending at them. And Miss Marian is near as ill as the laddies; and poor, wee Rosie, growing langer and thinner every day, till you would think the wind would blow her awa. Master Arthur is awa at his eddication: the best thing for a’ concerned. I wish they were a’ safe unto man’s estate,” and Janet sighed.
“And is Miss Graeme good at her seam?” asked Mistress Elspat.
“Oh ay; she’s no’ that ill. She’s better at her sampler and at the flowering than at mending torn jackets, however. But there’s no fear but she would get skill at that, and at other things, if she would but hae patience with herself. Miss Graeme is none of the common kind.”
“And has there been no word from her friends since? They say her brother has no bairns of his own. He might well do something for hers.”
Janet shook her head.
“The minister doesna think that I ken; but when Mr. Ross was here at the burial, he offered to take two of the bairns, Norman or Harry, and wee Marian. She’s likest her mamma. But such a thing wasna to be thought of; and he went awa’ no’ weel pleased. Whether he’ll do onything for them in ony ither way is more than I ken. He might keep Master Arthur at the college and no’ miss it. How the minister is ever to school the rest o’ them is no’ easy to be seen, unless he should go to America after all.”
Mistress Smith lifted her hands.
“He’ll never surely think o’ taking these motherless bairns to yon savage place! What could ail him at Mr. Ross’s offer? My patience! but folk whiles stand in their ain light.”
“Mr. Ross is not a God-fearing man,” replied Janet, solemnly. “It’s no’ what their mother would have wished to have her bairns brought up by him. The minister kenned her wishes well on that point, you may be sure. And besides, he could never cross the sea and leave any of them behind.”
“But what need to cross the sea?” cried Mrs. Smith; “It’s a pity but folk should ken when they’re weel aff. What could the like o’ him do in a country he kens nothing about, and with so many bairns?”
“It’s for the bairns’ sake he’s thinking of it. They say there’s fine land there for the working, and no such a thing as payin’ rent, but every man farming his own land, with none to say him nay. And there’s room for all, and meat and clothes, and to spare. I’m no’ sure but it’s just the best thing the minister can do. They had near made up their minds afore, ye ken.”
“Hoot, woman, speak sense,” entreated her friend. “Is the minister to sell rusty knives and glass beads to the Indians? That’s what they do in yon country, as I’ve read in a book myself. Whatna like way is that to bring up a family?”
“Losh, woman, there’s other folk there beside red Indians; folk that dinna scruple to even themselves with the best in Britain, no’ less. You should read the newspapers, woman. There’s one John Caldwell there, a friend o’ the minister’s, that’s something in a college, and he’s aye writing him to come. He says it’s a wonderful country for progress; and they hae things there they ca’ institutions, that he seems to think muckle o’, though what they may be I couldna weel make out. The minister read a bit out o’ a letter the ither night to Miss Graeme and me.”
“Janet,” said her friend, “say the truth at once. The minister is bent on this fule’s errand, and you’re encouraging in it.”
“Na, na! He needs na encouragement from the like o’ me. I would gie muckle, that hasna muckle to spare, gin he were content to bide where he is, though it’s easy seen he’ll hae ill enough bringing up a family here, and these laddies needing more ilka year that goes o’er their heads. And they say yon’s a grand country, and fine eddication to be got in it for next to nothing. I’m no sure but the best thing he can do is to take them there. I ken the mistress was weel pleased with the thought,” and Janet tried with all her might, to look hopeful; but her truth-telling countenance betrayed her. Her friend shook her head gravely.
“It might have done, with her to guide them; but it’s very different now, as you ken yourself, far better than I can tell you. It would be little else than a temptin’ o’ Providence to expose these helpless bairns, first to the perils o’ the sea, and then to those o’ a strange country. He’ll never do it. He’s restless now; and unsettled; but when time, that cures most troubles, goes by, he’ll think better of it, and bide where he is.”
Janet made no reply, but in her heart she took no such comfort. She knew it was no feeling of restlessness, no longing to be away from the scene of his sorrow that had decided the minister to emigrate, and that he had decided she very well knew. These might have hastened his plans, she thought, but he went for the sake of his children. They might make their own way in the world, and he thought he could better do this in the New World than in the Old. The decision of one whom she had always reverenced for his goodness and wisdom must be right, she thought; yet she had misgivings, many and sad, as to the future of the children she had come to love so well. It was to have her faint hope confirmed, and her strong fears chased away, that she had spoken that afternoon to her friend; and it was with a feeling of utter disconsolateness that, she turned to her work again, when, at last, she was left alone.
For Janet had a deeper cause for care than she had told, a vague feeling that the worldly wisdom of her friend could not help her here, keeping her silent about it to her. That very morning, her heart had leaped to her lips, when her master in his grave, brief way, had asked—
“Janet, will you go with us, and help me to take care of her bairns?”
And she had vowed to God, and to him, that she would never leave them while they needed the help that a faithful servant could give. But the after thought had come. She had other ties, and cares, and duties, apart from these that clustered so closely round the minister and his motherless children.
A mile or two down the glen stood the little cottage that had for a long time been the home of her widowed mother, and her son. More than half required for their maintenance Janet provided. Could she forsake them? Could any duty she owed to her master and his children make it right for her to forsake those whose blood flowed in her veins? True, her mother was by no means an aged woman yet, and her son was a well-doing helpful lad, who would soon be able to take care of himself. Her mother had another daughter too, but Janet knew that her sister could never supply her place to her mother. Though kind and well-intentioned, she was easy minded, not to say thriftless, and the mother of many bairns besides, and there could neither be room nor comfort for her mother at her fireside, should its shelter come to be needed.
Day after day Janet wearied herself going over the matter in her mind. “If it were not so far,” she thought, or “if her mother could go with her.” But this she knew, for many reasons, could never be, even if her mother could be brought to consent to such a plan. And Janet asked herself, “What would my mother do if Sandy were to die? And what would Sandy do if my mother were to die? And what would both do if sickness were to overtake them, and me far-away?” till she quite hated herself for ever thinking of putting the wide sea, between them and her.
There had been few pleasures scattered over Janet’s rough path to womanhood. Not more than two or three mornings since she could remember had she risen to other than a life of labour. Even during the bright brief years of her married-life, she had known little respite from toil, for her husband had been a poor man, and he had died suddenly, before her son was born. With few words spoken, and few tears shed, save what fell in secret, she had given her infant to her mother’s care, and gone back again to a servant’s place in the minister’s household. There she had been for ten years the stay and right hand of her beloved friend and mistress, “working the work of two,” as they told her, who would have made her discontented in her lot, with no thought from year’s end to year’s end, but how she might best do her duty in the situation in which God had placed her.
But far-away into the future—it might be years and years hence—she looked to the time when in a house of her own, she might devote herself entirely to the comfort of her mother and her son. In this hope she was content to strive and toil through the best years of her life, living poorly and saving every penny, to all appearance equally indifferent to the good word of those who honoured her for her faithfulness and patient labour, and to the bad word of those who did not scruple to call her most striking characteristics by less honourable names. She had never, during all these years, spoken, even to her mother, of her plans, but their fulfilment was none the less settled in her own mind, and none the less dear to her because of that. Could she give this up? Could she go away from her home, her friends, the land of her birth, and be content to see no respite from her labour till the end? Yes, she could. The love that had all these years been growing for the children she had tended with almost a mother’s care, would make the sacrifice possible—even easy to her. But her mother? How could she find courage to tell her that she must leave her alone in her old age? The thought of parting from her son, her “bonny Sandy,” loved with all the deeper fervour that the love was seldom spoken—even this gave her no such pang as did the thought of turning her back upon her mother. He was young, and had his life before him, and in the many changes time might bring, she could at least hope to see him again. But her mother, already verging on the three-score, she could never hope to see more, when once the broad Atlantic rolled between them.
And so, no wonder if in the misery of her indecision, Janet’s words grew fewer and sharper as the days wore on. With strange inconsistency she blamed the minister for his determination to go away, but suffered no one else to blame him, or indeed to hint that he could do otherwise than what was wisest and best for all. It was a sore subject, this anticipated departure of the minister, to many a one in Clayton besides her, and much was it discussed by all. But it was a subject on which Janet would not be approached. She gave short answers to those who offered their services in the way of advice. She preserved a scornful silence in the presence of those who seemed to think she could forsake her master and his children in their time of need, nor was she better pleased with those who thought her mother might be left for their sakes. And so she thought, and wished, and planned, and doubted, till she dazed herself with her vain efforts to get light, and could think and plan no more.
“I’ll leave it to my mother herself to decide,” she said, at last; “though, poor body, what can she say, but that I maun do what I think is my duty, and please myself. The Lord above kens I hae little thought o’ pleasin’ myself in this matter.” And in her perplexity Janet was ready to think her case an exception to the general rule, and that contrary to all experience and observation, duty pointed two ways at once.
The time came when the decision could no longer be delayed. The minister was away from home, and before his return it would be made known formally to his people that he was to leave them, and after that the sooner his departure took place it would be the better for all concerned, and so Janet must brace herself for the task.
So out of the dimness of her spotless kitchen she came one day into the pleasant light of May, knowing that before she entered it again, she would have made her mother’s heart as sore as her own. All day, and for many days, she had been planning what she should say to her mother, for she felt that it must be farewell.
“If you know not of two ways which to choose, take that which is roughest and least pleasing to yourself, and the chances are it will be the right one,” said she to herself. “I read that in a book once, but it’s ill choosing when both are rough, and I know not what to do.”
Out into the brightness of the Spring day she came, with many misgivings as to how she was to speed in her errand.
“It’s a bonny day, bairns,” said she, and her eye wandered wistfully down the village street, and over the green fields, to the hills that rose dimly in the distance. The mild air softly fanned her cheek, pleasant sights were round her everywhere, and at the garden gate she lingered, vaguely striving under their influence to cast her burden from her.
“I mun hae it ower,” she muttered to herself as she went on. In each hand she held firmly the hand of a child. Marian and little Will were to go with her for safe keeping; the lads were at the school, and in her absence Graeme was to keep the house, and take care of little Rose.
“Oh, Janet!” she exclaimed, as she went down the lane a bit with them; “I wish I were going with you, it’s such a bonny day.”
But Janet knew that what she had to say, would be better said without her presence, so she shook her head.
“You know Miss Graeme, my dear, you mun keep the house, and we would weary carrying wee Rosie, and she could never go half the distance on her feet; and mind, if ony leddies call, the short bread is in the ben press, and gin they begin with questions, let your answers be short and ceevil, like a gude bairn, and take gude care o’ my bonny wee lily,” added she, kissing the pale little girl as she set her down. “But I needna tell you that, and we’ll soon be back again.”
The children chattered merrily all the way, and busy with her own thoughts, Janet answered them without knowing what she said. Down the lane, and over the burn, through green fields, till the burn crossed their path again they went, “the near way,” and soon the solitary cottage in the glen was in sight. It was a very humble home, but very pleasant in its loneliness, Janet thought, as her eye fell on it. The cat sat sunning herself on the step, and through the open door came the hum of the mother’s busy wheel. Drawing a long breath, Janet entered.
“Weel, mother,” said she.
“Weel, Janet, is this you, and the bairns? I doubt you hadna weel leavin’ hame the day,” said her mother.
“I had to come, and this day’s as good as another. It’s a bonny day, mother.”
“Ay, its a bonny day, and a seasonable, thank God. Come in by, bairns, I sent Sandy over to Fernie a while syne. It’s near time he were hame again. I’ll give you a piece, and you’ll go down the glen to meet him,” and, well pleased, away they went.
“I dare say you’ll be none the waur of your tea, Janet, woman,” said her mother, and she put aside her wheel, and entered with great zeal into her preparations. Janet strove to have patience with her burden a little longer, and sat still listening to her mother’s talk, asking and answering questions on indifferent subjects. There was no pause. Janet had seldom seen her mother so cheerful, and in a little she found herself wondering whether she had not been exaggerating to herself her mother’s need of her.
“The thought ought to give me pleasure,” she reasoned, but it did not, and she accused herself of perversity, in not being able to rejoice, that her mother could easily spare her to the duties she believed claimed her. In the earnestness of her thoughts, she grew silent at last, or answered her mother at random. Had she been less occupied, she might have perceived that her mother was not so cheerful as she seemed for many a look of wistful earnestness was fastened on her daughter’s face, and now and then a sigh escaped her.
They were very much alike in appearances, the mother and daughter. The mother had been “bonnier in her youth, than ever Janet had,” she used to say herself, and looking at her still ruddy cheeks, and clear grey eyes, it was not difficult to believe it. She was fresh-looking yet, at sixty, and though the hair drawn back under her cap was silvery white, her teeth for strength and beauty, might have been the envy of many a woman of half her years. She was smaller than Janet, and her whole appearance indicated the possession of more activity and less strength of body and mind than her daughter had, but the resemblance between them was still striking. She had seen many trials, as who that has lived for sixty years, has not? but she had borne them better than most, and was cheerful and hopeful still. When they were fairly seated, with the little table between them, she startled Janet, by coming to the point at once.
“And so they say the minister is for awa’ to America after all. Is that true?”
“Oh, ay! it is true, as ill news oftenest is,” said Janet, gravely. “He spoke to me about it before he went away. It’s all settled, or will be before he comes hame the morn.”
“Ay, as you say, it’s ill news to them that he’s leaving. But I hope it may be for the good o’ his young family. There’s many a one going that road now.”
“Ay, there’s more going than will better themselves by the change, I doubt. It’s no like that all the fine tales, we hear o’ yon country can be true.”
“As you say. But, it’s like the minister has some other dependence, than what’s ca’ed about the country for news. What’s this I hear about a friend o’ his that’s done weel there?”
Janet made a movement of impatience.
“Wha’ should he be, but some silly, book-learned body that bides in a college there awa’. I dare say there would be weel pleased in any country, where he could get plenty o’ books, and a house to hold them in. But what can the like o’ him ken o’ a young family and what’s needed for them. If he had but held his peace, and let the minister bide where he is, it would hae been a blessing, I’m sure.”
Janet suddenly paused in confusion, to find herself arguing on the wrong side of the question. Her mother said nothing, and in a minute she added—
“There’s one thing to be said for it, the mistress aye thought weel o’ the plan. Oh! if she had been but spared to them,” and she sighed heavily.
“You may weel say that,” said her mother, echoing her sigh. “But I’m no sure but they would miss her care as much to bide here, as to go there. And Janet, woman, there’s aye a kind Providence. He that said, ‘Leave thy fatherless children to me,’ winna forsake the motherless. There’s no fear but they’ll be brought through.”
“I hae been saying that to myself ilka hour of the day, and I believe it surely. But oh, mother,” Janet’s voice failed her. She could say no more.
“I ken weel, Janet,” continued her mother, gravely, “it will be a great charge and responsibility to you, and I dare say whiles you are ready to run away from it. But you’ll do better for them than any living woman could do. The love you bear them, will give you wisdom to guide them, and when strength is needed, there’s no fear but you’ll get it. The back is aye fitted for the burden. Let them gang or let them bide, you canna leave them now.”
She turned her face away from her mother, and for her life Janet could not have told whether the tears that were streaming down her cheeks, were falling for joy or for sorrow. There was to be no struggle between her and her mother. That was well; but with the feeling of relief the knowledge brought, there came a pang—a foretaste of the home-sickness, which comes once, at least, to every wanderer from his country. By a strong effort she controlled herself, and found voice to say—
“I shall never leave them while they need me. I could be content to toil for them always. But, ah! mother, the going awa’ over the sea—”
Her voice failed her for a minute, then she added—
“I hae wakened every mornin’ with this verse of Jeremiah on my mind: ‘Weep ye not for the dead, neither bemoan him, but weep sore for him that goeth away, for he shall return no more nor see his native country.’ ” Janet made no secret of her tears now.
“Hoot fie, Janet, woman,” said her mother, affecting anger to hide far other feelings. “You are misapplyin’ Scripture altogether. That was spoken o’ them that were to be carried away captive for their sins, and no’ o’ honest folk, followin’ the leadings o’ Providence. If there’s ony application it’s to me, I’m thinkin’. It’s them that bide at hame that are bidden weep sore;” and she seemed much inclined to follow the injunction. She recovered in a minute, however, and added—
“But I’m no’ going to add to your trouble. You dinna need me to tell you I’ll have little left when you’re awa’. But, if it’s your duty to go with them, it canna be your duty to bide with me. You winna lose your reward striving in behalf o’ these motherless bairns, and the Lord will hae me and Sandy in his keeping, I dinna doubt.”
There was a long silence after this. Each knew what the other suffered. There was no need to speak of it, and so they sat without a word; Janet, with the quiet tears falling now and then over her cheeks; her mother, grave and firm, giving no outward sign of emotion. Each shrunk, for the other’s sake, from putting their fears for the future into words; but their thoughts were busy. The mother’s heart ached for the great wrench that must sever Janet from her child and her home, and Janet’s heart grew sick with the dread of long weary days and nights her mother might have to pass, with perhaps no daughter’s hand to close her eyes at last, till the thoughts of both changed to supplication, fervent though unuttered; and the burden of the prayer of each was, that the other might have strength and peace.
The mother spoke first. “When will it be?”
“It canna be long now. The sooner the better when once it’s really settled. There are folk in the parish no weel pleased at the minister, for thinking to go.”
“It’s for none to say what’s right, and what’s wrang, in the matter,” said the mother, gravely. “I hae nae doubt the Lord will go with him; but it will be a drear day for plenty besides me.”
“He’s bent on it. Go he will, and I trust it may be for the best,” but Janet sighed drearily.
“And how are the bairns pleased with the prospect?” asked her mother.
“Ah! they’re weel pleased, bairn-like, at any thought o’ a change. Miss Graeme has her doubts, I whiles think, but that shouldna count; there are few things that look joyful to her at the present time. She’s ower like her father with her ups and downs. She hasna her mother’s cheerful spirit.”
“Her mother’s death was an awfu’ loss to Miss Graeme, poor thing,” said the mother.
“Aye, that it was—her that had never kent a trouble but by readin’ o’ them in printed books. It was an awfu’ wakening to her. She has never been the same since, and I doubt it will be long till she has the same light heart again. She tries to fill her mother’s place to them all, and when she finds she canna do it, she loses heart and patience with herself. But I hae great hope o’ her. She has the ‘single eye,’ and God will guide her. I hae nae fear for Miss Graeme.”
And then they spoke of many things—settling their little matters of business, and arranging their plans as quietly as though they looked forward to doing the same thing every month during the future years as they had done during the past. Nothing was forgotten or omitted; for Janet well knew that all her time and strength would be needed for the preparations that must soon commence, and that no time so good as the present might be found for her own personal arrangements. Her little savings were to be lodged in safe hands for her mother’s use, and if anything were to happen to her they were to be taken to send Sandy over the sea. It was all done very quietly and calmly. I will not say that Janet’s voice did not falter sometimes, or that no mist came between the mother’s eyes and the grave face on the other side of the table. But there was no sign given. A strong sense of duty sustained them. A firm belief that however painful the future might be, they were doing right in this matter, gave them power to look calmly at the sacrifice that must cost them so much.
At length the children’s voices were heard, and at the sound, Janet’s heart leaped up with a throb of pain, but in words she gave no utterance to the pang.
“Weel, Sandy, lad, is this you,” said she, as with mingled shyness and pleasure the boy came forward at his grandmother’s bidding. He was a well-grown and healthy lad, with a frank face, and a thick shock of light curls. There was a happy look in his large blue eyes, and the smile came very naturally to his rather large mouth. To his mother, at the moment, he seemed altogether beautiful, and her heart cried out against the great trial that was before her. Sandy stood with his hand in hers, while his grandmother questioned him about the errand on which he had been sent, and she had time to quiet herself. But there was a look on her face as she sat there, gently stroking his fair hair with her hand, that was sad to see. Marian saw it with momentary wonder, and then coming up to her, she laid her arm gently over her neck and whispered—
“Sandy is going with us too, Janet. There will be plenty of room for us all.”
“I’ve been telling Menie that I canna leave grannie,” said Sandy, turning gravely to his mother. “You’ll hae Norman and Harry, and them a’, but grannie has none but me.”
“And wouldna you like to go with us too, Sandy, man?” asked his mother, with a pang.
“To yon fine country John Ferguson tells us about?” said Sandy, with sparkling eyes. “That I would, but it wouldna be right to leave grannie, and she says she’s ower old to go so far-away—and over the great sea too.”
“Nae, my lad, it wouldna be right to leave grannie by herself, and you’ll need to bide here. Think aye first of what is right, and there will be no fear of you.”
“And are you goin’ mother?” asked Sandy, gravely.
“I doubt I’ll need to go, Sandy lad, with the bairns. But I think less of it, that I can leave you to be a comfort to grannie. I’m sure I needna bid you be a good and obedient laddie to her, when—”
It needed a strong effort on her part to restrain the bitter cry of her heart.
“And will you never come back again, mother?”
“I dinna ken, Sandy. Maybe no. But that’s no’ for us to consider. It is present duty we maun think o’. The rest is in the Lord’s hands.”
What else could be said? That was the sum. It was duty and the Lord would take care of the rest. And so they parted with outward calm; and her mother never knew that that night, Janet, sending the children home before her, sat down in the lane, and “grat as if she would never greet mair.” And Janet never knew, till long years afterwards, how that night, and many a night, Sandy woke from the sound sleep of childhood to find his grandmother praying and weeping, to think of the parting that was drawing near. Each could be strong to help the other, but alone, in silence and darkness, the poor shrinking heart had no power to cheat itself into the belief that bitter suffering did not lie before it.
It was worship time, and the bairns had gathered round the table with their books, to wait for their father’s coming. It was a fair sight to see, but it was a sad one too, for they were motherless. It was all the more sad, that the bright faces and gay voices told how little they realised the greatness of the loss they had sustained. They were more gay than usual, for the elder brother had come home for the summer, perhaps for always; for the question was being eagerly discussed whether he would go back to the college again, or whether he was to go with the rest to America.
Arthur, a quiet, handsome lad of sixteen, said little. He was sitting with the sleepy Will upon his knee, and only put in a word now and then, when the others grew too loud and eager. He could have set them at rest about it; for he knew that his father had decided to leave him in Scotland till his studies were finished at the college.
“But there’s no use to vex the lads and Graeme to-night,” he said to himself; and he was right, as he had not quite made up his mind whether he was vexed himself or not. The thought of the great countries on the other side of the globe, and of the possible adventures that might await them there, had charms for him, as for every one of his age and spirit. But he was a sensible lad, and realised in some measure the advantage of such an education as could only be secured by remaining behind, and he knew in his heart that there was reason in what his father had said to him of the danger there was that the voyage and the new scenes in a strange land might unsettle his mind from his books. It cost him something to seem content, even while his father was speaking to him, and he knew well it would grieve the rest to know he was to be left behind, so he would say nothing about it, on this first night of his home-coming.
There was one sad face among them; for even Arthur’s home-coming could not quite chase the shadow that had fallen on Graeme since the night a year ago while she sat dreaming her dreams in the firelight. It was only a year or little more, but it might have been three, judging from the change in her. She was taller and paler, and older-looking since then. And yet it was not so much that as something else that so changed her, Arthur thought, as he sat watching her. The change had come to her through their great loss, he knew; but he could not have understood, even if it had been told him, how much this had changed life to Graeme. He had suffered too more than words could ever tell. Many a time his heart had been ready to burst with unspeakable longing for his dead mother’s loving presence, her voice, her smile, her gentle chiding, till he could only cast himself down and weep vain tears upon the ground.
Graeme had borne all this, and what was worse to her, the hourly missing of her mother’s counsel and care. Not one day of all the year but she had been made to feel the bitterness of their loss; not one day but she had striven to fill her mother’s place to her father and them all, and her nightly heartbreak had been to know that she had striven in vain. “As how could it be otherwise than vain,” she said often to herself, “so weak, so foolish, so impatient.” And yet through all her weakness and impatience, she knew that she must never cease to try to fill her mother’s place still.
Some thought of all this came into Arthur’s mind, as she sat there leaning her head on one hand, while the other touched from time to time the cradle at her side. Never before had he realised how sad it was for them all that they had lost their mother, and how dreary life at home must have been all the year.
“Poor Graeme! and poor wee Rosie!” he says to himself, stooping over the cradle.
“How old is Rosie?” asked he, suddenly.
“Near three years old,” said Janet.
“She winna be three till August,” said Graeme in the same breath, and she turned beseeching eyes on Janet. For this was becoming a vexed question between them—the guiding of poor wee Rosie. Janet was a disciplinarian, and ever declared that Rosie “should go to her bed like ither folk;” but Graeme could never find it in her heart to vex her darling, and so the cradle still stood in the down-stairs parlour for Rosie’s benefit, and it was the elder sister’s nightly task to soothe the fretful little lady to her unwilling slumbers.
But Graeme had no need to fear discussion to-night. Janet’s mind was full of other thoughts. One cannot shed oceans of tears and leave no sign; and Janet, by no means sure of herself, sat with her face turned from the light, intently gazing on the very small print of the Bible in her hand. On common occasions the bairns would not have let Janet’s silence pass unheeded, but to-night they were busy discussing matters of importance, and except to say now and then, “Whist, bairns! your father will be here!” she sat without a word.
I
“No’ by your ain strength and wisdom surely my lammie. But it would be limiting His grace to say He canna make you all you should be—all that she was, and that is saying muckle; for she was wise far by the common. But now gang awa’ to your bed, and dinna forget your good words. There’s no fear but you will be in God’s keeping wherever you go.”
Janet was right; they had need of all their strength and patience during the next two months. When Janet had confidence in herself, she did what was to be done with a will. But she had little skill in making purchases, and less experience, and Graeme was little better. Many things must be got, and money could not be spent lavishly, and there was no time to lose.
But, with the aid of Mrs. Smith and other kind friends, their preparations were got through at last. Purchases were made, mending and making of garments were accomplished, and the labour of packing was got through, to their entire satisfaction.
The minister said good-bye to each of his people separately, either in the kirk, or in his own home or theirs; but he shrunk from last words, and from the sight of all the sorrowful faces that were sure to gather to see them go; so he went away at night, and stayed with a friend, a few miles on their way. But it was the fairest of summer mornings—the mist just lifting from the hills—and the sweet air filled with the laverock’s song, when Janet and the bairns looked their last upon their home.