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Dedication

The inspiration (and maybe even mandate) to write this book has been from my Heavenly Father. God has been my driving force, my inspiration, and the source of my strength. Sometime during 2009, God revealed to me that I am to write, and this book is one of the first things that He would have me to scribe. I finally got myself together enough to make it happen, ten long years later! I ultimately dedicate this book and my life to Christ, and I pray that this book is pleasing to Him!

Additionally, this book is dedicated to those women who have lived for a period of time (be it days, weeks, months, or most likely, years) in a relationship with a narcissistic mate who they genuinely love, and for whom they make every excuse not to leave. The man you love says he loves you too, so you stay. You may stay despite the fact that he lies to you, he cheats on you, he is verbally abusive to you, he is mentally and emotionally cruel to you, and he may even steal from you. These types of mates kill you in spirit. You do nothing that you love, you never take time for yourself, your self-esteem is non-existent, and you don’t care because you have forgotten how. You don’t recognize yourself, but it’s okay because you have a mate, which is always better than being alone, right? At least, you may say to yourself, you can “keep a man.” If you are alive, but living this nightmare, then this book is for YOU, and here is my advice to you:

Save Yourself – Before You Change Your Mind!

Foreword

The idea to create this book was not mine. In fact, when I decided to write this book (on November 13, 2009), I was in Punta Canta, La Republica Dominicana. At that time, writing a book was simply not in my schedule, which was packed with the practice of law, raising two teenage daughters, figuring out how to care for my aging mother, and winding down a long, but unsuccessful marriage. Yet, an internal tug had started in me in the beginning of 2009, and though I tried to ignore it, the force was too strong. Have I been called to put my thoughts in writing? If so, the call must be divine, because only God could help me fit writing a book into my schedule!

I gained the strength to save myself from living a life of misery and despair in 2009 by publicly posting a “Daily Motivation” for myself on Facebook and/or Twitter. At the time, motivational words were not as easy to find on social media as they are now. Social media is now saturated with motivational outlets, but this was the vehicle I used to not only SAVE MYSELF, but also to NOT change my mind. I had black and white evidence in front of me every day, encouraging me and holding me accountable for my decisions. I hope the daily motivations expressed in this book can help inspire you and give you the strength to make the difficult decision to make a life-altering change, and then stick with it.

Sometimes, we live in such a downtrodden state for so long that we become comfortable in our own misery. We stop dreaming. We live day in, day out in a routine, hoping that our abusive man might share a moment with us today. If not today, perhaps if we cook his favorite meal, maybe tomorrow. Maybe on the day after that, we can do something that is pleasing enough to him so that he at least notices us and says something nice. I have lived this “life,” and it took courage and strength to finally get myself out of this dungeon. On the day when that certain relationship was finally over, I walked outside, and the sun kissed my skin. There was a gentle breeze that caressed my soul, and the birds were singing a sweet melody directly to me. Finally, I was free, strong, and triumphant. It took about a year for me to make up my mind to not only leave this relationship, but to never go back, as I had done so many times before. I kept voluntarily crawling back into a toxic relationship to endure more abuse. Why, when insults were the norm? If I left this man, as he told me, no one else would ever want me. So, I stayed until I realized that I was like the walking dead -- living, but not alive. I knew that I was going to die unhappy if I did not get out.

By the time you finish reading this book, I want you to be able to do one thing - Save Yourself! You have value, you have worth, and you deserve to be happy and healthy. You deserve to pursue your dreams. You have a right to be unapologetically yourself. If you know that your relationship with a certain mate is noxious, you will never thrive until you can make the independent decision to Save Yourself. The most important part, however, is that this time, stop going back. Move forward. That season with that mate is over. You will need courage, power, and strength to leave. The quality of the rest of your life depends upon whether or not you make up your mind to go, and never look back. I know you don’t want to be alone, but would you rather be emotionally alone and trapped in a relationship with a person that makes you feel dead, or physically alone by yourself, but full of life and possibilities?

The time is now. Make a choice. If you want a chance at living a fulfilling life, chose to Save Yourself, and do it NOW… before you change your mind!