PUBLISHER’S NOTE: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Cataloging-in-Publication Data has been applied for and may be obtained from the Library of Congress.
ISBN 978-1-4197-4097-8
eISBN 978-1-68335-865-7
Text copyright © 2020 Tom Angleberger
Illustrations copyright © 2020 Jared Chapman
Book design by Steph Stilwell
Published in 2020 by Amulet Books, an imprint of ABRAMS. All rights reserved.
No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, mechanical, electronic, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the publisher.
Amulet Books are available at special discounts when purchased in quantity for premiums and promotions as well as fundraising or educational use. Special editions can also be created to specification. For details, contact specialsales@abramsbooks.com or the address below.
Amulet Books® is a registered trademark of Harry N. Abrams, Inc.
ABRAMS The Art of Books
195 Broadway, New York, NY 10007
abramsbooks.com
To the artist who gave Didi her
famous sparkle: Jared Chapman!
—T. A.
Opening
PART 1
All’s Fair in Love and Rocket Pants
PART 2
Undercover and Overfed
PART 3
Wiener Takes All
GRAND FINALE
Until We Meat Again
Epilogue
My phone rang.
“Hello, this is Koko Dodo’s Cookie Shop,” I said. “Koko Dodo speaking! Would you like to hear about today’s special cookie?”
“KOKO!” quacked the phone. “THIS IS THE QUEEN!”
The Queen is not really a queen. She is a duck who works with me in my cookie shop. She likes to wear a crown and call herself the Queen. That is OK with me, because she bakes really good cookies.
“Hello, Your Majesty,” I said.
“What are you telling me about kidnapped?” I asked. “You’re right here at the cookie shop baking today’s special cookie.”
“NO, I’M NOT!”
“Yes, you are.”
“NO, I’M NOT!”
“Yes, you are.”
“NO! I’M! NOT!”
“Yes, you are. I just saw you a minute ago.”
“THAT WAS BEFORE I WAS KIDNAPPED!”
“Are you sure?”
“YES!”
The quacking was getting so loud I had to turn down the volume on my phone.
“LOOK AROUND THE SHOP, KOKO! I AM NOT THERE.”
I looked around the shop.
There was a line of nine customers waiting to buy cookies. But there weren’t nine cookies to sell them. In fact, there were no cookies. And there was no Queen!
I looked in the kitchen. There was a big pile of Royal Raisin Bars that didn’t have raisins yet! And the Queen wasn’t there to add the raisins!
“You’re right,” I said. “You’re not here!”
“I KNOW THAT! I WAS JUST KIDNAPPED!”
“Who kidnapped you?”
“A HUMAN!”
“What are you telling me about a human?” I said. “Humans don’t exist!”
“OH YEAH? THEN WHO KIDNAPPED ME?”
“That’s what I was asking you,” I said.
“OH, FORGET IT!” yelled the Queen, and then she hung up.
