There are so many reasons why today’s modern, frenzied life adds to your anxiety. For starters, the technology of today often sends people the message that confident cheerfulness is the ideal (and normal) emotion to strive for. It’s then easy to falsely believe that whenever anxiety shows up in your life, that you are not living your life right — that you are not feeling the right feelings.

And this technology has recently become very tightly woven into the fabric of our daily existence.

What is one of the first things most people do when they wake up in the morning? They jump into the digital world of the Internet and their smartphones. For so many people, it is also the last thing they do before trying to go to sleep at night.

And guess what is stuffed in between? More and more social media, always-connected messaging, 24-hour news cycles, binge-watching shows, and the evermore sophisticated personalization of advertisements.

If you could travel back in time to 50 years ago and explain this to someone from our pre-Internet history, they might think you are describing a science-fiction novel — but it is very real.

More interactions among young people are virtual these days. A reported 90 percent of young adults in the USA use social media daily, and one in four adolescents report using it ‘almost constantly’. Increasing social media use is related to rising anxiety levels in some of us.

This increase in anxiety is due to multiple factors. One factor is the increasing negative online feedback that young people are receiving from peers — up to the point of malicious cyber-bullying. Communicating through a device rather than looking a fellow human being in the eye, makes it easier to treat another person rudely and even cruelly.

One’s home has historically been a place to be soothed from the trials of the outer world. No longer. Rejection can now barge into your home, even into your very bed, courtesy of the electronic device in the palm of your hand.

Another challenge with social media is that stressful events in other people’s lives are now instantly beamed directly to you. For much of human history, we had a very small tribe to worry about. Our modern tribe is now virtually unlimited — and the trauma experienced (and Tweeted about) of someone on the other side of the world can negatively impact your wellbeing (although it can serve as a useful call to action).

And then there is the ‘fear of missing out’ or FOMO.

FOMO is now a worldwide anxiety-producing phenomenon. No matter where you are in the world, there is an Instagram photo giving you the message that you are at the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong people eating the wrong things and feeling the wrong emotion! No matter where you are or what you’re doing, you are wrong — just wrong!

Anxiety gets louder when you are observing the social media pics and posts of other people and then negatively comparing yourself and your life to the content of those posts.

Your life, when viewed through the social media comparison lens, is never good enough. While trying to enjoy that long-awaited beach getaway, you see a post of your friends having a wonderful time at a party and you feel like you are the one missing out!

Or, perhaps it is your friend who is posting glamorous pictures of their beach vacation. Where does that leave you? You have bills to pay, chores to do, obligations to meet, and there is rain, snow, and cold weather. The party you went to with friends felt like a shallow consolation compared to your friend’s tropical adventure.

No matter what you do in life, you can be left feeling that you would be so much better off if only you could live in the one-sided fiction of perfection that you visually inhale during a typical stroll down your Instagram feed. However, you remain a human being and therefore feel a range of emotions that don’t always involve smiley emojis.

Alongside social media FOMO, you are also bombarded by advertisements, which are designed to make you feel like there is something terribly wrong with you (or your life) that only this product or service can fix. These ads are increasingly tailored to your search profiles. This means that advertisers can more accurately target your deepest desires — and your deepest insecurities.

In between the heavy dose of advertising is the main course of unlimited movies and TV shows that get streamed directly to you anytime and anywhere. Instead of the long periods of quiet boredom every other human in history learned to tolerate, now there is an endless supply of media ready to jolt your nervous system awake (action, horror, and thrillers of all kinds).

Not only do these films or shows rev-up your nervous system, the heroes also set impossible standards with which people compare their lives. They are professional actors, painted in make-up, dressed and groomed meticulously by professionals, given unlimited re-takes, and are typically abnormally attractive. This perfection they portray can lead to your anxiety beast howling that there is something wrong with you by comparison.

… and then there is the endless news onslaught we face every day.

Perhaps like many, you seek a brief refuge from the stress of your day by checking in with the latest news stories. What harm could come from briefly checking your newsfeed just one more time?

Whereas earlier generations might have read a newspaper or watched the half-hour news at dinnertime, today’s news consumption is quite different. The news is now a 24-hour, never-ending catastrophe-displaying, click-bait generating, deluge of anxious material.

As I write this, this is just a quick glance at my newsfeed:

All this from a five-minute perusal of the news on my smartphone. Many people leave the news on in their homes all day! It’s little wonder that the news can get your anxiety beast roaring in fear!

On top of the increased anxiety from our technological lives, there has been a cultural shift in how we raise our children, which is also tweaking anxiety beasts everywhere.

There is now societal pressure to over-parent children, which is increasing anxiety in both children and their parents. The parenting philosophy has gone from the ‘kids should be seen, but not heard’ hands-off philosophy of past generations to ‘OMG, my child has got to be the smartest, most attractive, trendiest, most athletic and overall the most special of the special, or I have completely failed as a parent!’

This cultural shift towards ‘helicopter parenting’ (day-to-day parental over-involvement) is leading to increases in anxiety, depression, and chronic ‘why-aren’t-I-special-when-I-get-in-the-real-world-itis’.

Then there is the related snow-plough parenting which involves ploughing away obstacles confronting one’s children before they have the chance to learn that they can handle anxiety, frustration, and failure and come out okay (such an important lesson!). There are parents, for example, who call their children’s college professors to argue for an improved grade.

So now that modern culture and technology has woken up your anxiety beast, it’s time for the experts to give you the impression that anxiety is a villain that you need to defeat. There is a seemingly endless supply of articles, blogs, videos, lectures, and books on anxiety that focus on anxiety as the villain in your life’s story. Just do a quick Google search and you will be bombarded by titles and subtitles including:

Many of these writings contain pearls of wisdom regarding living well with the reality of anxiety. Some of these titles are on my bookshelf. However, the messages these books and articles often send is that anxiety is your adversary to be fought and defeated, and, of course, it can feel that way sometimes. But the truth of the matter is that anxiety is a part of life. There is no cure for the anxiety that comes with being human, just like there is no cure for sometimes feeling frustrated, sad or annoyed. Emotions, even the uncomfortable ones, are part of life. No matter how many books, articles and blogs you read, no matter how many videos, gurus, therapists and spiritual leaders you consult, no matter how many herbs or drugs you take, or exercises you practise, the reality is that you will still experience anxiety at times — and those levels are rising.

Recent research states that nearly 40 percent of adults report that their anxiety levels are increasing across a range of ages and other demographics. Likewise, anxiety disorders among children and teens have also been on the rise in recent years. College students in 1985 were asked if they felt ‘overwhelmed’ by all they had to do. Eighteen percent said yes. In the year 2000, that number increased to 28 percent. In the year 2016, that number had jumped up to nearly 41 percent. Also, 95 percent of school counselling directors reported that significant psychological problems were a growing issue, with anxiety being the top concern.

Given that the modern world is increasing your anxiety, while at the same time telling you that you are wrong for feeling it, it is no wonder that your anxiety beast feels like your enemy.

Hating your beast is a losing proposition because anxiety is normal!

A normal human life consists of feeling a range of emotions — happiness, sadness, anger, and fear — in every shade, flavour, and combination. You don’t get to see this, however, by observing other people’s social masks — the version of themselves that they show the outside world. By observing most people’s calm exterior, it is easy to get the impression that there is a way to become completely anxiety-free.

When you buy into this notion that anxiety is a villain that must be eradicated, like society tells you, you’ll be left feeling like you’ve failed when inevitably your beast will roar. This perceived failure can lead to feeling blame and shame on top of your anxiety. And you will also continue to feel that you have an adversary living inside your mind, tormenting you with the noise of its continued existence!